Day 1



The dock was lined with people bidding the two of us farewell…well okay, not really lined with people…but our friends were there.

"Wow, I can't believe you convinced him to go somewhere Rinny!" Selphie squealed. "You two are gonna have the best time! I just know it!"

"Yeah, you know how to keep him smilin' the whole trip don't ya Rin? Nudge, nudge, get my drift?"

"Irvine, stop that."

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you out Squall. You gotta plant these ideas in a woman's head and then before you know it…bang! You're lying spread eagle on the bed with your…"

"Irvine Kinneas!!"

"Sorry Selphie."

"Hey bring me back something okay?"

"Of course Zell."

"Yeah like a hotdog keychain or something, that'd be awesome!"

"You two be careful and have a great time."

"Thanks Quistis!"

"Oh!" Selphie said as she came up front with a shopping bag. "Here! Me and Quistis got this for you…um…well…I guess for Squall mostly." She grinned devilishly and exchanged a look with Quistis who gave me a wink. Oh Hyne, what had they done?

"Don't open it until you get on the boat though okay?"

"Sure, um, thanks girls."

"Oh you're welcome…and…you're welcome Squall!" Selphie said as she eyed the fidgeting man behind me.

He turned and looked at her perplexed…apparently he was off in his own little world again. This action appropriately dubbed by our group as a person having a "Squall moment." So we waved goodbye as we began climbing the gangplank. My poor dog had to be sedated and put on board the ship. He hates boats and large quantities of moving water. But before you call the ASPCA I'll have you know that he got his own little doggie suite on board, equipped with a personal doggie sauna, doggie buffet bar, and a doggie waterbed. He slept on the floor.

Squall and I were stopped by security at the top of the gangplank, where the guard gave us, or rather Squall, some devastating news.

"I'm sorry sir, you will have to leave your weapon on shore."

"Excuse me?"

"Your gunblade sir, cannot board this boat."

"But…no…I need it!" He pleaded.

"Weapons are not needed on this trip I assure you sir, it is completely safe."

I swear I thought he was getting ready to cry.

"But…I never leave home without it!"

"No sir, I'm sorry."

"Can I put it in cargo?"

"No."

"Can I tie it to a rope and let it hang off the side of the ship?"

"No."

"Well dammit, what kind of pleasure cruise is this?" He said exasperated.

"One without weapons sir."

At this point Squall was getting pretty close to using his. I said absolutely nothing, because lets face it, no one can come between a man and his gunblade, no one.

At this point Squall tried to lie his precious gunblade on board.

"I um, I need it for medical reasons."

"Medical reasons?"

"Er yeah I have a chronic ingrown toenail." Did I mention Squall could be a terrible liar?

The guard gave him a look.

"I have to have this to trim it…its rather tough for the ordinary toenail clipper."

"Gunblade stays here sir."

"Damn it."

So once again we bid farewell to our friends. This farewell being more tearful because Squall couldn't take his Lionheart. He turned his back to us and quietly kissed the handle of the gunblade and whispered soft and gentle words to it like a mother would say to her child when she was leaving it for a while. He reluctantly handed it to Zell with a menacing promise of pain and agony if he came back and found any dents or scratches on it.

I started to wonder if Squall might need one of Angelo's sedatives.

So I helped Squall by dragging him up the gangplank as he waved to his gunblade, promising he would be back soon. I was going to have to try hard to keep his mind off of killing things for four days. It wouldn't be easy I assure you.

After we cast off the first event on this fun filled cruise was…the lifeboat drill. So we were asked to stand beside our designated lifeboat while wearing an orange life jacket.

"I'm not putting that on."

"Why? What's the problem?"

"It's…orange Rin."

"Uh, yeah, so?"

"Orange will clash with my jacket."

"Oh for Hyne's sake Squall!"

"I can swim just fine."

"Sir," an officer said as he approached us. "Please put on your life jacket, it is a necessary requirement for this drill."

"I don't need it."

"Regardless sir, it is imperative that you put it on." "I'll take my chances with the ocean."

"Sir…"

"I am the commander of SeeD! I know how to swim!!

"Put the damn jacket on Squall," I muttered through my teeth.

Squall sighed and finally complied with the request slipping the orange ugly fashion statement over his head. So he suffered through the lecture, pouting the entire time. When we were finally able to take them off, I heard him release a relieved sigh. I turned and grinned at him mischievously.

"Hey you know Squall, you were right, that thing really did clash awful with that jacket!" I laughed as I began to run.

"Oh, I'm gonna get you for that!" I heard his voice behind me. We were actually starting to have fun until I literally ran smack in to our cruise director.

"Ouch, what'd I hit?"

I heard Squall quickly scuffle to a stop behind me, apprehension now in his foot movements. I opened my eyes to see the cruise director picking herself off the deck.

"I am so sorry ma'am!" I said quickly. "Here let me help you!"

"Thank you dear," she said. "You know, there's lots more exciting things to do on this boat than run around it. What can I sign you two up for?"

I finally was able to get her up and then stand back a bit to see the woman for the first time. She looked to be in her 70s, and she seemed to be going through one of those age denial stages. She had on enough fire engine red lipstick to be a capeless matador in a catoblepas arena. The scary thing was the horrendous amount of cleavage she was showing. Gravity was clearly not on her side. I heard a small gasp of horror coming from Squall.

"You kids gonna gawk all day or can I sign you up for something?" She said as she adjusted her goggle-like sunglasses and took a drag of her cigarette.

"Er…sign us up?" I queried.

"Yeah, I'm the cruise director aboard this tub, name's Maude McCay, I am your host to many exhilarating excitements that await your little signature. So…would you like to hear today's events? Or might your boyfriend here have something else in mind…because honey, I'm very flexible." She winked at Squall who whimpered lightly.

I decided to save him from his predicament. As hilarious as it might have been, I thought perhaps he could 'owe me one' later.

"So what's on the list?"

I heard Squall finally breathe behind me. There was a glimmer of disappointment in the woman's sunglasses.

"Well okay, we have tango lessons in the dance hall…

"That sounds inter--"

"I have a cramp in my leg," Squall said.

"Squall?"

"A limbo contest on the lido deck…"

"Cramp is spreading up through my back."

"Squall, stop it…c'mon we have to do something."

"Skeet shooting that is going to take place on the rear of the boat…"

"I've got a bad case of tendonitis…wait…did you say shooting?"

"No. No shooting!" I said quickly.

"But…Rin…please."

"Someone will get hurt Squall."

"I won't…"

"No. Weapons. Period."

He sighed and looked at the old woman with a glint of childlike excitement.

"Are there live targets?"

"Squall!"

"What? I was just curious."

"Um, please continue ma'am."

She eyed the both of us strangely. "Um, okay, how about shuffle board?"

"Is it a contact sport?"

"What?"

"Like hockey?"

"Um, no dear."

"Your boyfriend has a lot of pent up frustration doesn't he?" She looked at me with a bit of sympathy.

"You have no idea." "Well here's just the thing! How about a relaxing massage and pedicure…she looked at him slyly…I have my masseuse license."

"Next!" He panicked.

I turned to Squall and hissed in a threatening tone. "Squall Leonhart, we are taking the next thing on this list or so help me…you will be getting 'pampered' by the old lady!"

"Yes Rin."

Yes folks, there are some things even the mighty Squall Leonhart is terrified of.

"Ma'am?" I said before Squall could protest again. "Just sign us up for whatever's next on the list. That'll be fine." I smiled at her sweetly.

Her dentures gleamed in the shimmering sunlight as she grinned. "Basket weaving it is."

Oh hyne. Damn my judgement…damn it damn it damn it.

****

"Damn it! I pricked my finger…again." Not that it really hurt any more…it felt pretty numb now. Did I mention artsy things weren't my best forte?

I looked over at Squall who had his back turned to me working furiously.

"What do you think Squall?" I asked as I held up my creation.

He turned to look.

"Oh! Cool bird's nest Rin." It's…supposed to be Angelo," I sighed.

"Oh…Oh!" He said quickly, trying to retrace his words. "Oh! I see it now, when I turn it this way…oh yeah, looks just like him."

I sighed again. "So what did you weave?"

"Well, its not much," he said reaching down to get his art project. "Yours looks so much better."

He pulled out an exact replica of his gunblade, beautifully weaved out of the sticks and twigs. It was a miraculous duplicate, even a weaved griever swung from the end of the handle. Hell, if you fired the thing, little thorns would shoot out the end of it.

Sometimes the guy's abilities could just make me sick.

"Wow, that's great Squall!"

Squall blushed a little and swung the blade back and forth. I couldn't help but be proud, regardless that he probably thinks more of that darn gunblade than me. I actually thought his face light up with pure happiness. That is, until the security officer walked by.

"I'm sorry sir," he said. "No weapons on board." He took the gunblade from Squall's hands and with a powerful force…he broke it in half and threw it overboard.

I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to quell Squall's urge to kill.

***

"Squall, I know your angry…but really, it'll be okay, you can make one tomorrow." I looked across the table at my sulking knight.

He said nothing staring at the pristine tablecloth at our corner booth as our waitress approached with the drinks we'd ordered from the bar.

"So what'll you have kids?" Came a familiar smoker's voice.

"Maude?"

"Yeah?"

"Er…you're part of the wait staff too?"

"Honey, I'm a part of every staff on this tugboat. A girl's gotta make a livin' somehow. I'm the cruise director, waitress, shuffle board referee, ship maintenance, security officer, hell I do everything but drive the damn boat! Oh, I also clean the rooms…so be careful what you leave in the floor sweet stuff." She winked at Squall who suddenly blanched white.

She cleared her throat before continuing. "So…what can I get you this evening? You have an appetite on you dark and handsome?"

"Uh…I'll have a hotdog," Squall stuttered. "Um…with everything."

"Squall!" I protested.

"What?"

"A hotdog? Dear Hyne! We're on vacation! Don't you want to try something a little more exotic?"

"Well it's got everything on it."

I sighed heavily.

"Oh fine…make it two hotdogs with everything Ms. McCay." He said.

I put my head in my hands. "You rebel you." I droned.

I looked back down at the menu, I for one was going to try something different, I had certainly had my fill of Balamb cafeteria food.

"Er…the grilled jelleye in peanut-almond-macadamia glaze…is that any good?"

"Don't know honey," she replied. "I don't eat anything with more than two eyes."

"Eww…the eyes come with it?"

"Oh no, it's a flank steak I believe, tender and grilled to perfection. It looks and smells wonderful, but I have my old woman principles to uphold."

"Alright then, I'll try that."

She nodded and said she would return in a few minutes. In the meantime I stared at the fascinating dining room. Elegant tapestries adorned the ceiling with beautiful chandeliers that shimmered like a thousand diamonds. Large aquariums full of kaleidoscopic fish adored the walls around us. In the middle of the room was a great dance floor with a marbled floor much like the one at Balamb. A sigh escaped my lips as I reminisced in romantic memories. I wondered if it had the same effect on Squall. I turned to meet his eyes.

He was playing with the little plastic gunblade that came in his drink.

Men.

With surgical accuracy he was decapitating the cherry that had been speared in his cocktail. I wasn't going to give up on him…not yet.

"Having fun Squall?"

He looked up from his handywork slightly embarrassed. "Er…yeah…well not with…"

I unsheathed my tiny plastic gunblade from its pineapple chunk holster and then held it menacingly towards him.

"Wanna duel?" I smiled.

He smiled back. God it drives me crazy when he smiles.

"Yeah, okay."

So we became the center attraction that evening acting like idiots as the rest of the snobby dining patrons. The upper class looked on at us in disgust, annoyance…and a few of them in horror as we loudly fought our duel and laughed hysterically poking each other's fingers with the plastic weapons…it was truly the most fun we had experienced so far.

We laughed until we were out of breath and two plates of food landed in front of us.

"You two enjoy!" Maude exclaimed.

The jelleye was extravagantly presented on the platter in front of me, and the aroma emanating from it was heavenly. I looked over to Squall's meager hotdogs.

"I still can't believe you'd pass up something like this for two tubes of pork byproducts in buns. C'mon and live a little Squall, this is all free!"

"But…I like hotdogs," he replied smoothly as he picked up one. "I know they're good because it's pretty hard to screw up a hotdog, and therefore, there will be no surprises on my plate."

"You…are so exciting sometimes," I said tiredly. "Well we'll see who has the better meal here, but frankly I'm afraid you'll lose this round bucko, because this looks completely awesome. Don't be asking me to share either, because I'll be enjoying this all to myself."





One hour later, leaning over the Veranda deck





"Oh…god…this is horrible, I can't remember the last time I was ever this sick."

"Thanks for not sharing with me Rinoa," He said in that monotone voice I hate.

"Shut up Squall!" I wheezed as the cold sweat ran down my face. "Ugh…oh hell…hold my hair…I'm going to have to lean over the railing again."

Okay…we're gonna fast forward through this because I'm sure you didn't read all this way to hear descriptive details of me tossing my cookies. Besides it's painfully embarrassing enough as it is. Ah, I see we're in agreement, thanks for understanding.

So the night activities were pretty much out of the question as he helped me back to our room. After I spent a few minutes composing myself and getting that horrible taste out of my mouth I collapsed onto the bed where I was greeted with a sickening back and forth movement. At first, I thought I was passing out…then I heard the sloshing, and actually felt myself turn green.

"Why for the love Cerebus' three heads would they put a waterbed on a cruise ship!"

"Cool…a waterbed. I've never slept on one before." Squall sat down on the other side, causing a tidal wave of movement beneath me.

"Please…" I begged. "Don't do that."

"Whoa! This is so weird."

He moved the bed again…were I not fighting the urge to gag with all my strength, I would have thrown him off.

"Squall…I'm begging you…"

"Oh! I'm sorry, the movement is making you nauseous isn't it?"

"Yes, genius."

"I'm sorry," He said sincerely, "Anything I can get for you?"

"No, I just need sleep now," I said as I rolled slowly over onto my side.

"Alright…that's cool…um, so I guess…that…you know…fooling around…is..er…out of the question?"

I didn't answer him. It was too hard to manage coherent words at that point.

He reached over and started running his hand along my shoulder…causing yet more movement of that god-awful bed.

"Squall," I said softly.

"Yeah?" His voice cracked a bit.

"Don't touch me!"

"Oh…right…sorry. Um, goodnight then."

"Goodnight."

Finally…sleep was on its way.

"Uh…Rin?"

"Whhaattttt?" I groaned.

"I…I love you."

I melted. It was music coming from his lips, each time he said it I turned into mush at the sweet sincerity that came through his voice, I could just…wait a minute…I knew where this was going…

"I said NO Squall!"

"Okay," he sighed in defeat.

"And…I love you too."