Double the chapters today because I feel like it!
Chapter 21: New Research
Natasha started job hunting. She loved her current position, but she felt like her skillset would be of more use elsewhere. The patient population at this hospital simply wasn't very diverse, and Natasha felt that her repertoire of languages would be of more help somewhere where it was more needed. She was knee-deep in applications for hospitals all over the country when a text appeared in the Avengers group chat.
"Lanyon and Carol May have company coming."
Three little dots, and then a sonogram of not one, but two babies. Holy shit. Wanda was having twins. Natasha immediately typed out a "Congratulations" text, overcome with joy for her friend. That joy soon melted away, leaving a jealous aftertaste. Natasha would never get to share news like that, never be a mom like MJ, Betty, or Wanda. She'd been living with menopause symptoms and hormone replacement therapy for nearly a decade now, and most of the time it didn't bother her. In the grand scheme of things, it was a small price to pay for surviving leukemia. But when faced with the pure happiness and love that her female friends shared with their children, born or unborn, it didn't seem so small anymore.
Natasha threw her phone down and headed straight for the gym. Half an hour at the punching bag with classical music blaring through her earbuds and she felt marginally better. She recalled the advice from a book she read on coping with early menopause: don't focus on what your body can't do, but what it can. And what Natasha could do that would benefit everybody was organize a baby shower for Wanda. Once she conjured that idea and clung to it, all thought of her own body's shortcomings receded to the back of her mind. At least until the next trigger someday brought it all to the forefront again.
She started a group chat with Kate, MJ, Monica, and Betty and kicked it off with one simple text: "Sitcom-themed baby shower. Who's in?"
"Yes." Monica replied almost immediately.
"That is literally the best idea ever," Kate said.
"Which ones are her favorites?" Betty asked.
"I don't know," Natasha wrote. "I have to ask Victor."
"Can he keep a secret?" Monica asked.
"I don't know. But he doesn't have to know the reason for the question."
"Ok."
Natasha set a reminder for tomorrow to text Victor and ask about Wanda's favorite sitcoms. If she asked to soon after the pregnancy announcement, it would be too suspicious.
"Important question: are we dressing up?" Monica asked. "I may or may not have a pair of Steve Urkel glasses that I've been waiting for an excuse to break out."
Natasha didn't know what to think of that proposition. "Dress code TBD."
"I'll take it."
MJ joined the conversation. "Oh I am so on board with this."
Natasha minimized the tabs for her job application stuff and pulled up new ones with advice for baby shower planning.
~0~
"Gravesen wants to name the pediatric residential ward after Steve," Bucky told Dr. Raynor.
"Wow. That sounds like a high honor."
"It is."
"What do you think about it?"
"I talked to Steve's parents and we all agreed to give them a yes. So it's happening."
"You didn't answer my question. What do you think about it?"
Bucky sighed. Raynor always knew when he was thinking something but not saying it. "I think that people don't name things after living people," he grumbled.
"That's…generally true. It's usually reserved for the deceased. But not always."
"I know. But…there's gonna be a ceremony, with like, important people there, and I'm scared of how I'm gonna react to seeing his name on a fucking plaque."
"That's a valid fear to have. I imagine that's going to be a very emotional experience for you."
"No kidding."
"Would you feel better not attending the ceremony, and then looking at the plaque on your own time so you don't have to worry about being in front of a bunch of people when you see it."
"I wanna go, doc. I'd feel horrible about myself if I didn't go."
"Okay. Let's talk through this. What's the worst thing that could happen at this ceremony?"
"Realistically?"
"Just whatever you think of."
"The hospital could be bombed by someone wearing a mask that looks like me and I'm forced to go on the run to avoid being incarcerated for a crime I didn't commit."
Dr. Raynor abruptly stopped scribbling in her notebook. "Wow. That is…excruciatingly specific."
Bucky shrugged. "I've been thinking about this for a while. And I'm good at catastrophizing."
"I can see that. So that is definitely not realistic. How about the worst realistic outcome?"
He hesitated. The first answer had been a joke more than anything, requiring no emotional effort on his part. A real answer wouldn't be so easy to deliver. "I guess…I start crying and can't stop. And everybody stares at me, or…tries to comfort me, but it doesn't work and then they feel bad, and I feel bad, and just…everything is awkward."
Dr. Raynor nodded. "That is a very real possibility. You might cry, and people might try to comfort you. What are some things you could do to prevent this from escalating the way you fear?"
"I don't know."
"Try. You know yourself better than I know you. What would help?"
"Not sure that's even true," he muttered. Dr. Raynor knew him pretty damn well for someone he'd only been talking to for a few months. "I guess I could…I dunno, step out? Go to the bathroom?"
"Definitely. Nobody would fault you for taking some time to yourself at such an event."
"Okay." He'd still have to deal with pity glares when he eventually came out of the bathroom, but that was better than constant pity glares.
"Do you know who else is going to be at this event?" she asked.
"The president of the hospital, Dr. Lee. He's a cool guy. Actually came to our wedding, believe it or not." His wedding present, the Gauntlet of Love, still hung in its place in their house. "Steve's parents. Probably my parents too. And a bunch of our friends who used to be patients there. I'm guessing probably other hospital officials or staff, but I don't know."
"Do you think you'll be the only one possibly crying?"
"Definitely not."
"That must be very reassuring. To know you won't be alone."
"Yeah." Bucky now began to visualize his options if the grief welled up at this ceremony. He could retreat to compose himself, or lean on one of his many friends. Any one of them would offer a shoulder to cry on without hesitation. It might not be the best experience of his life, but he'd make it through. And it would all be worth it for Steve to be recognized for his contributions to the pediatric residential ward.
~0~
"I swear, if Foggy asks me one more time why I don't get a guide dog, I'm going to poke his eyes out and tell him to get a fucking guide dog," Matt proclaimed.
Nick whistled. "That's a vivid threat."
"I'll do it."
"Why are you so against it?"
"I don't even know. I think I just hate the suggestion that I need help, you know? Especially a dog's help."
"That makes sense." Nick could see where Matt was coming from, but he didn't entirely agree. In fact, Jake and Dawn had both asked him the same question, leading Nick to wonder why he hadn't ever explored an option that could make his life easier. "I like dogs, though," he added.
"Maybe that's what it is. Maybe I just don't like dogs."
"Have you ever had a dog?"
"No."
"Did you ever want one as a kid? As a pet, not a service animal?"
"Nope."
Nick smirked. "I think you just don't like dogs."
"You know what? I don't like dogs."
"Glad we've come to this realization. I actually think a guide dog would be nice. I still get nervous crossing the street, especially now that electric cars are more common. Those things are so damn quiet."
"Right? It's a hazard to blind people everywhere."
"We should write to Elon Musk. Start a petition or something."
"We should."
Actually, Nick had something else in mind. As soon as Matt left, he grabbed his computer and started researching guide dogs. The Guide Dogs for the Blind website was the most accessible he'd ever visited, which made sense considering its target audience. It contained everything he needed to know about the application process and the criteria he'd need to meet. Nick wasted no time in filling out a preliminary application.
It asked him basic personal information, whether he'd ever applied for a dog before, details about the cause and duration of his blindness, past Orientation and Mobility training, current travel practices and mobility aids, optional demographic information, and contact information for his doctors. He listed the three destinations he traveled to most frequently as his office at SHIELD, Fogwell's gym, and Matt's apartment.
A week after he submitted the application, he got a phone call from a very nice woman whose voice reminded him of Dawn's. "Is this Nicholas Fury?"
"Yes." They exchanged pleasantries, and she cut right to the chase, asking him about how he usually traveled to work and the gym as listed on his application.
"I'm a cane user. To get to work every day, I walk five blocks to the station, take a train, and walk another three blocks to my office building. It's about half a mile total, and then the same way back. The gym is maybe three-quarters of a mile from my place, to go there I just walk. And the only friend I visit often is just three blocks away."
"Do you have to cross many streets?"
"Every block is a street crossing."
"And you do this independently?"
"Yeah."
"Do all of these streets have the beeping stoplights?"
"All but one." Nick had already complained to the proper authorities twice about the one that didn't beep, but they hadn't gotten around to adding that feature yet. There was also that one time some random stranger offered to help him, which Nick declined with as much politeness as he could muster.
"Okay. What about travel outside of your everyday?"
"I have a friend who lives upstate that I see a few times a year. I always get a friend to drive me. My family all lives local, so I just have to take different trains to see them."
"Do you fly often?"
"Not really." He'd had to fly only twice since his blindness, both for work conferences.
"Why are you interested in a guide dog?"
"To be honest, I've been blind for over ten years and I still get scared crossing the street or boarding the subway. I'm better at trusting myself than I used to be, but it would be really nice to have someone else to trust to keep me safe."
"Have you ever had a dog before?"
"A guide dog? Or a pet?
"Either."
"No. A friend of mine has a service dog, though, for seizure alert and response, and his experience has been great."
"Okay. Now, it says on your application that your blindness was caused by retinoblastoma. Is that correct?"
"Yes."
"What is your current health status?"
"I'm in remission." His last MRI had been completely clear. "Cancer free for thirteen years now."
"I'm glad to hear it. Are there any other concerns post-cancer, or unrelated to cancer?"
"I'm blind."
His joke was met with a full five seconds of stunned silence before the woman finally chuckled. "I suppose we wouldn't be having this conversation if that weren't the case, now would we?"
"No."
They talked for another half an hour about the logistics of the training program, next steps for him, and an approximate timeline of when he could be matched with a dog. He learned he'd have to take two weeks off work to go to their home base in California for the training course once a dog became available. That was going to go over well with his boss. Still, Nick hung up the phone excited for what the future might hold.
~0~
Tony was in the baby aisle of the toy store when he got a call from Shuri. She never called unless she was really excited about something, so he picked up immediately, not even noticing that it was a video call until it went through. "Stark, you're not going to believe the breakthrough we just had," she began without even saying hello. Tony attempted to follow as she babbled about genetic modulation and commonalities between various CFTR mutations, but it was all out of his wheelhouse and way over his head.
"That's great," he said, when she finished.
"You didn't understand a word, did you?"
"Nope."
"Whatever. What matters is: this is huge progress."
"I gathered that much."
"I never would have delved into this kind of research on my own, but it's proving to be fascinating."
"Glad you like it. The CF community is going to be so appreciative once this research turns into viable treatments."
"We're still pretty far out from that, but I am hopeful. This is the route we've been looking for. If this is everything I think it is, we will be able to treat a whole spectrum of mutations with a single medication."
"That's why I enlisted you. You're the best."
"Maybe. Now on to the more important matter—why is there a giraffe behind you?"
Tony turned around. "Oh, yeah. I'm shopping. For a friend," he clarified.
"Is it me? I'd love a giant stuffed giraffe."
"Don't you have real giraffes?"
"Actually, no. Wakanda borders the ranges of two species of giraffe, but they're very rarely spotted within our borders. We have rhinos, though."
"Okay. Cool." Every time Tony talked to Shuri, he learned something new. Usually something completely unrelated to the actual reason for the call, like the distributions of giraffes.
"You should get it though. It's cute."
Tony had always been a sucker for stuffed animals. He thanked Shuri and picked up the giraffe.