Chapter 7: I Have to Tell You Something

Flashback- 1993

It was the end of July; they all had a month left before returning to their prospective colleges, Meredith was over at Derek's place, talking to his sisters, Kathleen and Amy. She was waiting for Derek to return from his trip to New York, she hadn't seen him in about three days, and she missed him, she knew that the summer was almost over, and she had no idea what she was going to do. Meredith was wandering where he was; he and Mark were supposed to be back by now.

"Meredith!" Kathleen called her name. "Meredith!", she called a little more loudly, causing Meredith to jump.

"What?"

"I think they are here." Meredith quickly got off the stool, walking out of the kitchen. Derek stopped seeing Meredith for the first time in 3 days, she took his breath away, standing their dressed in jeans and her bikini top she had never looked so beautiful to him, Derek strode over to her pulling her in his arms, his thumb caressing her cheek, before pulling her close to him and capturing her lips with his own.

"I missed you!"

"I missed you too!"

"Okay, you two break it up, I would like to see my brother!" Kathleen says, causing both Meredith and Derek to laugh.

"New York, okay?"

"It was fine, I'll talk to you about it later." Derek walked back to Meredith, and put his arm around her. "Go for a walk with me, we need to talk…"

"Okay." Meredith says, quietly feeling panicked, not sure what was going on.

Derek takes Meredith's hand, as they walk out onto the beach. They walk for a while, just saying nothing. Meredith noticed how Derek clings onto her, she can feel the urge to run but fights it, remembering how safe, it feels to be in Derek's arms. They come to a secluded spot on the beach, where they have been so many times. Derek pulled her down onto the sand and wraps his arms around her. Meredith rested her head on his shoulder. They sat there, not saying anything just looking out over the water.

Derek could feel the warmth from Meredith seeping into his skin, he had a million thoughts running through his head. How could he tell her this, she was supposed to be a summer fling, but somewhere in the past month, he had fallen in love with her, and he didn't want to lose her. Once he told her what he had discovered, Derek was afraid that she would tell him that she didn't want to see him anymore.

"Meredith…"

"Yeah?" Meredith looked up at him. Derek could see the worry in her eyes, he leans down and kisses her on the lips, a kiss filled with love, but also with a ping of regret, a bittersweet kiss, like it is the last kiss that they could be sharing.

"I know we agreed not to say this, but I love you, Meredith!" Mer looked at him in surprised. She hesitated for just a second, having not heard those words in over three years.

"I love you too, Derek!" Meredith murmured, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Oh, Mer!" Derek says gently, pulling her onto his lap.

"You are not supposed to be crying Derek…"

"I know, but I really need to tell you something. I am scared that it is going to hurt you, and I don't want to do that…"

"Derek, you're scaring me…"

"The reason why I went back to New York was because I had a phone call from an old girlfriend…"

"Oh…" Meredith starts to get up, but Derek tightens his grip on her.

"Meredith, please hear me out" Meredith nods. "She called because she had just discovered that she was..." Derek pauses, feeling all the air being sucked out of his lungs.

"Discovered what?" Meredith asks gently, running her fingers through his curls.

"That she's pregnant"

"Pregnant?"

"Okay" Meredith goes to get up and this time Derek lets her go, he watches her, has she walks down to the water edge, Derek stays in the same spot, watching her, knowing that she needed some time.

Derek was surprised that she didn't yell at him, didn't run, Meredith stood there for an hour just overlooking the water. As she looked out over the water, she could feel Derek's eyes constantly on her, she tried to focus on that fact that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant, but all she could focus on was that he told her that he loved her. Hearing those words for the first time in a long time, and that Derek loved her, made her heart leap, but the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach, dulled the complete joy her heart felt. As the news of his ex, carrying his baby, actually sunk in, she couldn't stop the tears running down her face, she wanted to know, what it meant for them, but she knew, or thought that she did. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, and she leant back, their bodies melting into one. She closes her eyes, remembering exactly how this felt, knowing that this would be the last time she felt his arms around her. She stiffened up, and Derek let her go, she couldn't look at him, before she did what she did best, ran.