Chapter 14: There is Still Hope

Mark Sloan was waiting at The Ivy restaurant in Beverly Hills for Derek and Addison. He was wondering what was taking them so long. When they walked in, he took one look at Derek, noticing that he was looking rough. Mark wished that he could do something to help him, but he knew that only one person could. He wasn't a cruel man, and he had always liked Meredith, but he hoped that wherever she was, she was suffering like Derek.

"Hey man..." Mark said giving Derek a manly hug, Mark leant over and gave his wife a kiss. Addison excused herself, saying she was popping into the bathroom. It gave Mark a chance to talk to Derek.

"Derek, you look like crap." Derek laughed.

"Yeah, I just miss her."

"It been twelve years Derek"

"Yeah, I know that. I've tried moving on, but I can't help but compare everyone to her. I just don't know how to get over her"

"Shame, no one knows where she is, seeing her once, might just help"

"Maybe." Derek said thoughtfully. Addison came back from the bathroom, and they ordered their food. It was a nice distraction for Derek, for the first time that day, she wasn't on his mind Derek was glad that Addison had dragged him out of his office. Mark suggested that they move on and hit a bar, he wanted to keep Derek occupied. Addison had an emergency surgery and was paged back to the hospital. Addison said bye and left. Mark hailed down a cab and they headed for Chateau Marmot in Hollywood.

Cristina and Izzie had dragged Meredith to Joe's bar, to start the night. They ordered their food and started drinking beer. As the night went on, they moved on to the tequila. Once Alex and George joined them, they moved on to '21'. It was the first time Meredith had been there in over two years. It was usually a bit upmarket for her, but they did have a good time. Meredith was standing at the bar, waiting to be served when she heard someone say her name behind her.

"Meredith Grey!" the person exclaimed, Meredith closed her eyes, hoping it wasn't the person that she thought it was. She hadn't seen her in years, since that summer. She turned around slowly.

"Kathleen!" Mer says.

"Meredith, how are you? It's been a long time?" she said, coming over and giving her a hug.

"I'm fine thank you, and how are you?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I married Robert, and we have three kids. You look good Meredith. It's so nice to see you again after all these years."

"Thank you, Katie, how's your parents, your sisters, and brother?"

"Mom is good, dad died five years ago."

"Oh my god, Katie I am so sorry; I know how close you all were."

"It was hard, but we made it through" Katie said.

"What is everyone doing now?"

"Nancy is an OB/GYN, married with four kids, Amy is an artist, just married with a baby on the way, and Olivia is in her last year of med school. Derek is a producer in LA." Kathleen says, seeing Mer eyes glaze over at the mention of Derek's name.

"That's good, well Katie, say hello to everyone for me." Meredith said, quickly wanting to get out of there. She wondered why Derek wasn't a doctor, but she didn't want to ask.

"Meredith, he misses you!"

"Please don't Kat." Meredith pauses, not sure if she wants to know the answer to the next question. She hears herself saying it before she realized it.

"Is he...alright"

"He ... exists, I think is the right word, Meredith. He still loves you; you know." Meredith could feel a small smile coming on, but she suppressed it, not wanting Kathleen to see how much that means to her.

"Katie, I have to go, it was nice to see you again." Meredith quickly makes her way over to her friends and tells them they are moving on. Meredith walks out of the bar before any of them can ask why. They hit a few more bars. Meredith kept knocking back the tequila, trying to the forget the conversation she had with Kathleen, trying not to remember his name. Cris, Iz, Alex, and George all notice Mer's change of mood, and guess correctly why, but Mer wasn't talking about it, and the night ended with Mer dragging a guy home with her.

In Los Angeles, Derek and Mark sat in their regular booth. They were waiting for Addison to join them. Derek was talking to some blonde girl, Mark felt like a spare part, although he was used to it. It always happened when they went out, but he didn't bother learning the girls name, knowing that she would be gone in an hour. Derek dragged the girl to the bathroom, leaving Mark sitting there on his own. Mark just shook his head, when his phone started ringing, he quickly answered it when he saw that it was Kathleen.

"Hey Kathleen, what's up?"

"Do you know where Derek is? I've been trying to get ahold of him."

"I'm with him now, well, not exactly with him, if you know what I mean?"

"Some young thing, yeah."

"Yep, nothing new."

"I was just ringing to say guess who I just saw?"

"Who, Katie."

"Meredith Grey."

"Did you just say Meredith?"

"Yeah, I did"

"Meredith…" Mark heard Derek saying behind. Mark turned to face him, seeing the look on his face, Derek grabbed Mark's phone.

"Meredith." Kathleen cringed on the end of phone, hearing the hope in Derek's voice, knowing that she was about to dash it.

"It's me."

"Kathleen. Sorry i just heard..."

"I know. I rang to say that I saw her tonight"

"You saw Mer?"

"Yep, she said to say hi."

"Is that all after all these years?"

"Derek, don't do this to yourself, Meredith seemed happy"

"Did she ask...?"

"She did, I told her the truth Der. I wasn't going to lie to her"

"What did she say?"

"I'm sorry Der, she didn't say anything, and she kind of ran out of here."

"Okay, I've got to go." Derek says passing the phone back to Mark, going back over to the blonde, and leaving with her. Mark just watched him leave, noticing Addison walked into the bar, just passing Derek leaving, she looked at Mark as if to ask what was going on; Mark just shrugged his shoulder, then remembering that Kathleen was still on the phone.

"Katie, he's gone."

"Not surprised, I just don't know what to do anymore, it's been twelve years and he still holding onto that little bit of hope."

"What did she say?"

"Not much, she asked after the family, told her about dad. She asked about Derek. When I told her that he still loves her, I could see it in her eyes, that she still felt the same, but I didn't tell him that, he already has too much hope."

"Maybe, Katie, but it is the anniversary today, I'm hoping that after this he will start to move on properly"

"Me too, but we have been hoping this for the past 12 years"

"I know Katie, but I really don't know what to do anymore."

"No one does, Mark."

"Bye Katie, say hi to mom for me"

"Will do; look after him Mark, please? Bye.