Chapter 20: Talk to Him
A month passed since Derek last seen Meredith, he never gave up on that they would find each other again. Now that she was here in LA, he knew that he would eventually bump into her. They had started filming Passions two weeks before, and he was hoping that Meredith would come by to see Serena, but so far, no such luck. Even Serena had told him she has barely heard from her this past month, which was a little unusual, but she knew that Meredith was struggling with something to do with Derek.
Meredith sat in her office, staring out the window. For the past month, her mind had been on Derek constantly. She really wanted to tell him why, but something stopped her. She had flown back to Boston the previous week, stopping off at Liam's grave, it was the anniversary. She wanted to find some solace, but it just reminded her how much she had lost. The day Liam had been born was the greatest day of her life, he had the same blue eyes as his daddy. Meredith had never believed that she could love someone the way she had loved Derek, but holding their little boy in her arms, she loved him more than anything.
Just after Liam died, she found herself driving past Derek's parent's house. She saw him playing with a little girl around Liam's age. She watched him for a few minutes with tears in her eyes, wondering that if things had been different if their son would still be with them. Derek turned and looked straight at her, their eyes met, and she noticed Derek walking forward her towards her. Meredith had quickly hit the accelerator; she couldn't face him, not when her emotions were so raw.
Meredith can feel the tears running down her face and can feel someone wrapping their arms around her.
"It's okay, Meredith" Izzie says to her gently.
"I'm sorry Iz."
"Thinking about Liam."
"Yep." Iz just lets Meredith cry it out, knowing how hard it was for her, when Meredith started drying her eyes, and gave Izzie a small, sad smile.
"You ready to go out for lunch"
"I am, where we going?"
"Chateau Marmont, have you been there yet?"
"Nope"
"Well Alex and Cristina are waiting for us there." Meredith gathers her stuff together and follows Izzie out of the office and out into the LA sunshine.
Derek had already had a tough week of filming. They were already days behind, and the lights had decided to break in the studio that morning. Derek was at the end of his tether, he had spent most of his morning, yelling down the phone at the studio executive Richard Webber. So, he decided to treat the cast and crew, to lunch at Chateau Marmont, since that week they had gone from one disaster to another. Derek had sent them all in a limo to Marmont, ahead of him, while he tried to get ahold of Mark and see if he wanted to join them, he was hoping that he wasn't in surgery.
"Sloan"
"Mark, it's me"
"Shep"
"Do you fancy joining me for lunch?"
"Just us"
"I decided to take the cast and crew out, we have had a dreadful week, and I think we could do with it."
"Give me an hour and I'll meet you there, bye." Mark says and with that hangs up.
Meredith and Izzie walked into the bar area of Chateau Marmont, and instantly Alex waves at her, and pulls her into his arms and kissing her head.
"How you doing today Meredith?"
"Not so good, Alex."
"Cris."
"Meredith, I've been worried."
"You've been worried about me, Cris. Now that surprising."
"I'm not a total cold-hearted bitch."
"I know that, Cris." Meredith says, looking over the menu.
"Meredith." Serena says. Meredith looks up a little surprised to see her; she hasn't seen her in two weeks"
"Serena, sorry I've not been in contact I had a few things going on"
"That okay's Meredith"
"Sit down for a moment Serena" Meredith moves up the booth so that Serena can sit next to her. "How's filming been going?"
"I am really enjoying it, I forgot how long the days were though and we have had a few problems on set this week."
"Nothing bad I hope."
"Just a few setbacks, the light decided to break down on us today, so Mr. Shepherd said that he would take us all out to lunch."
"Derek." Meredith says quietly, but loud enough for Cris, Alex, and Izzie to hear. Meredith hadn't told them that she had seen him, just then she heard someone clear the throat and immediately knows who it is, how her heart races. She looks up to see the shock on all of their faces.
"Meredith, how are you?"
"I am fine thanks Derek." Meredith replies, avoiding eye contact with him.
"Cristina, Alex, Izzie." Derek greets them, only Izzie bothers to reply.
"Hey Derek, how are you?" Izzie kicks Alex under the table.
"Ouch." Izzie glares at him, but Alex just sits there saying nothing.
"I'm not too bad thanks Izzie. Serena you ready to join us?"
"I'll be there in a moment, sir"
"Okay don't be long. Bye Meredith"
"Meredith, I don't know what is going on between you and Derek, but he has been really down this past month." Serena tells her quietly.
"Serena, it's really none of your business. It's between Derek and me. I know you care, but it will be fine, okay?"
"Okay. I'll see you later Meredith." Meredith notices Cristina, Alex and Izzie watching her.
"What?"
"You never told us that you had seen Derek." Alex says gently, seeing that it is still a sore subject for her.
"It doesn't matter, I haven't seen him in over month."
"You still love him." Izzie observes, watching Meredith face very closely.
"Yeah, I do." Meredith says, she doesn't bother denying it, she knows there is no point. She looks over at Derek from the corner of her eye, seeing him laughing at something someone was saying to him.
"Have you told him about Liam?" Alex asks.
"Nope, I won't even talk to him; I have spent the past month avoiding him."
"What are you scared off, Meredith" Izzie asks.
"I don't want him to hate me."
"Meredith, he won't hate you, he can't take his eyes of you, and he has been watching you ever since he came in."
"I just don't know what to do." Meredith says quietly, staring at her hands.
"Talk to him, he might be angry at first, but he loves you."
"Talk to him." Meredith murmurs, looking over at Derek. She knows that Izzie is right, she does need to talk to him; Meredith closes her eyes, knowing it is now or never, she gets up, and walks over to the bar, knowing that Derek will join her up there. She orders herself a tequila shot, a bit of Dutch courage, when she hears his voice behind her.
"Hitting the hard stuff a bit early, aren't we?" Derek whispers in her ear, feeling his breath on her neck.
"It's been a hard couple of weeks" Mer admits to him.
"It sure has, do you want to talk about it?"
"Not right now, but Derek..." Meredith pauses; Derek watches her, knowing not to interrupt her. "Weneedtotalk?" Meredith says quickly.
"Excuse me, Mer."
"We need to talk, Derek."
"We certainly do, Meredith, when do you want to talk?"
"Whenever you want to. It's not like I have any plans except for tonight. My friends are in town overnight."
"Meredith, how about tomorrow evening, maybe go out for something to eat?"
"Tomorrow will be fine, but I would rather do it in private, away from any cameras."
"We could talk at mine, it's only me living there"
"I can't cook, so probably a good idea"
"I can pick you up..."
"I would rather you didn't Derek, give me your address and I'll get a cab." Meredith says to him, making eye contact with him for the first time since he spoken to her at the bar. Derek scribbles his address down on the back of a business card, neither of them see Mark watching them, the look of shock on Mark's face to actually see her standing there talking to Derek. Addison had told him that she was back, but couldn't believe it unless he saw her with his own eyes. Mark cautiously approaches them at the bar.
"Shep." Derek turns round to look at him.
"Mark, you remember Meredith, don't you?"
"You know I do." Mark says, not able to keep the contempt for her out of his voice.
"Meredith. I could say it's nice to see you, but..."
"Mark." Derek says sharply.
"Derek, it's fine..."
"It's not Mer."
"Derek, he is your friend. I am the bitch who broke your heart."
"Meredith, don't talk about yourself like that."
"Derek...stop...we are both very different people than those that were in love all those years ago. I need to get back to Cris, Alex, and Iz, I will see you tomorrow night Derek, about 7. Bye Mark." Meredith walks over to her friends, while Derek shoots Mark a filthy look.
"What the hell was that, Mark." Derek says angrily.
"Derek, that woman broke your heart, from which you have never recovered."
"I love her Mark and you know it, if there is a way to work something out, then I am going to try. So, you can either put your feelings about her aside, or just go now." Derek walks away, leaving Mark standing at the bar.