Hi guys! After way too long, I have decided to resume my writing again, partly because I'm feeling a lot happier at the moment, but mainly because I think you guys would lynch me if I left this any longer ;)
Thanks to: annakas, GreyLadyBast, Silver-Kalan, Sanely Challenged, Ezellohar Shark and WaterShadow.
***
"Right, then," said Legolas, leading Aragorn away from the group, "this is my plan: We go hunting for supper, I get lost, you come back and lead a search party back for me. The search party splits up into two groups, Martyn in yours, Boromir in the other. You find me, and I'm so grateful to see you that I kiss you." The elf laughed, ignoring Aragorn's stunned face.
"Wait... you *kiss* me? As in like..."
"Yes. Make the boy jealous. Brilliant, isn't it?"
"Legolas... sorry to disappoint you, friend, but I'm not attracted to you in that way."
"That doesn't matter. As soon as the boy falls for me, I'll let you go."
"Great, that means I'm stuck with you forever," groaned Aragorn, following the happily skipping elf deeper into the forest.
They walked on for about twenty minutes, Legolas muttering under his breath and Aragorn dreading the implications of his latest crazy plan. Finally, the elf stopped under an impressive-looking oak tree with a hole in the trunk big enough for him to crawl into.
"I'll hide here. Go back to the camp and bring the boy to me!"
"You're insane!" muttered Aragorn, turning back to the camp.
*
"Hey, Aragorn, where's the grouch?" asked Martyn as the ranger arrived back at the camp.
"I don't know, I've lost him," murmured Aragorn, ignoring the others' looks of surprise. Elves never got lost. He sighed. Damn him...
"We need to find him. Martyn, Frodo, Sam, Gimli, come with me. We'll search the forest. You others, wait here in case he comes back to camp." Without looking back to see if the others were following him, the ranger turned and strode off into the forest.
"That elf really needs a lobotomy," Martyn murmured, as Aragorn led them on a roundabout rout to the oak tree that Legolas was hiding in.
"What's a lobotomy?" asked Sam.
"It's an operation that can alter someone's personality."
"Great! We can give him one when we get back," muttered Aragorn. He sighed again. "If there was a competition for 'Most Stupid Plan Of The Year' he'd win hands down." Martyn sniggered.
"I have a Cunning Plan, my lord!" he mimicked, laughing. The others stared at him in surprise, Gimli edging further away from the boy.
"If he starts to froth at the mouth, you grab his arms and I'll hit him with my axe," he muttered to Frodo.
"No, I'm not insane, it's just a TV programme in my world, called Blackadder... Blackadder's always getting into trouble and his servant Baldrick always comes up with a Cunning Plan to get him out of it, which always goes wrong." The others just stared at him, then shrugged and continued looking for the elf. They were slowly getting used to the boy's rambling.
The group slowly reached Legolas' hiding place. Aragorn steadied himself for the inevitable.
"ARAGOOOOOORN!" Legolas jumped out of the tree and embraced the ranger. "Thank goodness you've arrived, I was getting so scared!" The elf kissed the ranger, forcing his tongue into his mouth.
Aragorn tried to push the elf away, but he was gripping the ranger too tightly. And, as the kiss went on, he realised that it wasn't actually as bad as he thought it would be; in fact, it was rather pleasant. He gave a little moan of disappointment as Legolas broke the kiss and grabbed his hand.
Martyn stared in disbelief as the elf led the stunned ranger back to camp, skipping happily. Then he started to laugh. So that was his game? Try and make him jealous? Hah, yeah right. It would be interesting to see where this latest game would lead...
Still laughing, he followed the odd couple back to camp. The elf was as good as a soap opera any day.
Thanks to: annakas, GreyLadyBast, Silver-Kalan, Sanely Challenged, Ezellohar Shark and WaterShadow.
***
"Right, then," said Legolas, leading Aragorn away from the group, "this is my plan: We go hunting for supper, I get lost, you come back and lead a search party back for me. The search party splits up into two groups, Martyn in yours, Boromir in the other. You find me, and I'm so grateful to see you that I kiss you." The elf laughed, ignoring Aragorn's stunned face.
"Wait... you *kiss* me? As in like..."
"Yes. Make the boy jealous. Brilliant, isn't it?"
"Legolas... sorry to disappoint you, friend, but I'm not attracted to you in that way."
"That doesn't matter. As soon as the boy falls for me, I'll let you go."
"Great, that means I'm stuck with you forever," groaned Aragorn, following the happily skipping elf deeper into the forest.
They walked on for about twenty minutes, Legolas muttering under his breath and Aragorn dreading the implications of his latest crazy plan. Finally, the elf stopped under an impressive-looking oak tree with a hole in the trunk big enough for him to crawl into.
"I'll hide here. Go back to the camp and bring the boy to me!"
"You're insane!" muttered Aragorn, turning back to the camp.
*
"Hey, Aragorn, where's the grouch?" asked Martyn as the ranger arrived back at the camp.
"I don't know, I've lost him," murmured Aragorn, ignoring the others' looks of surprise. Elves never got lost. He sighed. Damn him...
"We need to find him. Martyn, Frodo, Sam, Gimli, come with me. We'll search the forest. You others, wait here in case he comes back to camp." Without looking back to see if the others were following him, the ranger turned and strode off into the forest.
"That elf really needs a lobotomy," Martyn murmured, as Aragorn led them on a roundabout rout to the oak tree that Legolas was hiding in.
"What's a lobotomy?" asked Sam.
"It's an operation that can alter someone's personality."
"Great! We can give him one when we get back," muttered Aragorn. He sighed again. "If there was a competition for 'Most Stupid Plan Of The Year' he'd win hands down." Martyn sniggered.
"I have a Cunning Plan, my lord!" he mimicked, laughing. The others stared at him in surprise, Gimli edging further away from the boy.
"If he starts to froth at the mouth, you grab his arms and I'll hit him with my axe," he muttered to Frodo.
"No, I'm not insane, it's just a TV programme in my world, called Blackadder... Blackadder's always getting into trouble and his servant Baldrick always comes up with a Cunning Plan to get him out of it, which always goes wrong." The others just stared at him, then shrugged and continued looking for the elf. They were slowly getting used to the boy's rambling.
The group slowly reached Legolas' hiding place. Aragorn steadied himself for the inevitable.
"ARAGOOOOOORN!" Legolas jumped out of the tree and embraced the ranger. "Thank goodness you've arrived, I was getting so scared!" The elf kissed the ranger, forcing his tongue into his mouth.
Aragorn tried to push the elf away, but he was gripping the ranger too tightly. And, as the kiss went on, he realised that it wasn't actually as bad as he thought it would be; in fact, it was rather pleasant. He gave a little moan of disappointment as Legolas broke the kiss and grabbed his hand.
Martyn stared in disbelief as the elf led the stunned ranger back to camp, skipping happily. Then he started to laugh. So that was his game? Try and make him jealous? Hah, yeah right. It would be interesting to see where this latest game would lead...
Still laughing, he followed the odd couple back to camp. The elf was as good as a soap opera any day.