THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF DRACO MALFOY
Day 1
Second year of school and already going badly. Have been ignoring Snape's owls all summer but he can't seem to take a hint. Father says to answer him politely and inquire about extra lessons in the Dark Arts. Am not sure father realizes what a sacrifice those extra lessons are...
Day 3
Have wonderful new idea. Will make father buy whole Slytherin Team new brooms and then they'll let me be Seeker! It's so much fun to be rich.
Day 4
New brooms to be arriving by owl very soon. Other team members delighted (except maybe former Seeker). Keep shaking my hand and slapping me on the back like a real teammate. Hard to believe I'm on the team when I'm so much smaller than them, really...smaller and thinner and blonder and...ummm...
Day 5
Wrote father requesting I get my own changing room separate from large evil team members IMMEDIATELY.
Day 6
Had a run-in with Potter today. Tried mailing him all summer but the letters kept coming back. From what I gathered, some crazy muggle woman in an apron stands on his lawn all day swatting owls off with a broom. Nothing is ever easy for me.
Day 14
Am not happy as of late. Hard to concentrate on classes and regular smirking when Head of own House is practically chasing me with a fork. Will ask father to rectify this situation.
Day 20
Father replied, saying new brooms were the only thing he was going to do for me this term, and that was that. Am very put out by this whole situation.
Had a good laugh at the Gryffindorks team on the field today! Showed off our new brooms AND Weasley ended up coughing slugs for a few hours. Practice was harder than I thought, but figure if Potter can make it look easy, then it mustn't be that hard when game time actually comes. On downside, do not have own changing house as of yet, and had to shower with team members, who are becoming awfully friendly. Somehow ended up being nicknamed Towel Boy, as well as something much worse. Do not really feel like talking about it anymore.
Day 23
Filch's cat got attacked by the Heir of Slytherin! Go HOS! Father had been hinting about something like this for awhile...am very happy filthy Mudbloods will get what they deserve. Am also happy Potter not a Mudblood.
Why is that cat named Mrs. Norris, anyway?
Day 27
Am on speaking terms with Head of House once again, though not too keen on letting him stand behind me at any time. He did however show me this great trick for making giant snakes appear and attack people. I think he's a bit upset, however, at the fact that I seem to have grown allergic to chocolate syrup. Honestly, he should have seen that coming since this time last year.
Day 33
Am tired of being assaulted by practically everyone in House. Am also tired of fetching towels for people. Want to be a Ravenclaw instead.
Day 37
Had a little rough-and-tumble with Potter today, over who was the best Seeker. Got a little carried away, forgot we were fighting and started taking off his shirt. He completely lost it and shrieked that I was after his shirt and I was the Heir of Slytherin. That boy has some serious issues, and nice biceps.
Day 40
Have written to father about having company over for next summer holiday. Asked him if he thought it would be proper to have a boy over. His only reply was, "Just ignore him, Draco. He may be Head of your House but he's not the boss of you."
Day 42
Not doing so well in classes, especially Potions, which we share with the Gryffindors. Keep getting distracted. Quite certain Dumbledore doesn't take so much of an interest in the well-being of the Boy Who Lived, as he does the Boy Who Lived To Grow Up With Watery Green Eyes and Adorable Messy Hair.
Day 50
Quidditch match coming up soon. First chance to prove myself as a great Seeker! Have been avoiding other team members at all costs. Very upset that we shall have four practices a week now.
How can the fourth one be seriously called a practice if we never leave the changing room?
Day 66
Gryffindor beat, and I really don't care at this point. Stupid captain smacked me around for an hour about it...how was I to know the Snitch was right there by my head? Was worried when heard Potter broke his arm, but saw teacher taking him up to infirmary. Now just have to worry about scary angry teammates. Think maybe I would rather go to bed dirty and in my Quidditch robes.
Day 74
Goyle's cauldron exploded today because of a firecracker. Probably the best he's ever done in that class.
Day 76
Am wondering if Dumbledore would let me convert to a Gryffindor, if father paid him enough. If not, am wondering how much father would have to pay to let me sleep in same room as certain dreamy second-year Gryffindor.
Day 87
Strange thing happened today...was telling hilarious story to Crabbe and Goyle but they seemed...I don't know...different. And Goyle was awfully insistent about hearing my story of fighting with Potter, especially the part where I tried to take his shirt off. Never pegged Goyle as swinging in that direction. Got awfully worked up about the story but didn't go into much detail before Goyle jumped out and darted from the room, shrieking aloud about not being clean. Have decided Hogwarts is a total mad house.
Day 90
Chamber of Secrets been opened and destroyed by Potter. Not really all that surprised. Gryffindor got about eight billion points for it and will win House Cup again, no doubt. Am very upset about this whole proceeding. Think maybe it would be nice if other Houses were in on all these secret plots, and could score some points of their own once in a while. Will sulk about it to father in another letter.
Day 1
Second year of school and already going badly. Have been ignoring Snape's owls all summer but he can't seem to take a hint. Father says to answer him politely and inquire about extra lessons in the Dark Arts. Am not sure father realizes what a sacrifice those extra lessons are...
Day 3
Have wonderful new idea. Will make father buy whole Slytherin Team new brooms and then they'll let me be Seeker! It's so much fun to be rich.
Day 4
New brooms to be arriving by owl very soon. Other team members delighted (except maybe former Seeker). Keep shaking my hand and slapping me on the back like a real teammate. Hard to believe I'm on the team when I'm so much smaller than them, really...smaller and thinner and blonder and...ummm...
Day 5
Wrote father requesting I get my own changing room separate from large evil team members IMMEDIATELY.
Day 6
Had a run-in with Potter today. Tried mailing him all summer but the letters kept coming back. From what I gathered, some crazy muggle woman in an apron stands on his lawn all day swatting owls off with a broom. Nothing is ever easy for me.
Day 14
Am not happy as of late. Hard to concentrate on classes and regular smirking when Head of own House is practically chasing me with a fork. Will ask father to rectify this situation.
Day 20
Father replied, saying new brooms were the only thing he was going to do for me this term, and that was that. Am very put out by this whole situation.
Had a good laugh at the Gryffindorks team on the field today! Showed off our new brooms AND Weasley ended up coughing slugs for a few hours. Practice was harder than I thought, but figure if Potter can make it look easy, then it mustn't be that hard when game time actually comes. On downside, do not have own changing house as of yet, and had to shower with team members, who are becoming awfully friendly. Somehow ended up being nicknamed Towel Boy, as well as something much worse. Do not really feel like talking about it anymore.
Day 23
Filch's cat got attacked by the Heir of Slytherin! Go HOS! Father had been hinting about something like this for awhile...am very happy filthy Mudbloods will get what they deserve. Am also happy Potter not a Mudblood.
Why is that cat named Mrs. Norris, anyway?
Day 27
Am on speaking terms with Head of House once again, though not too keen on letting him stand behind me at any time. He did however show me this great trick for making giant snakes appear and attack people. I think he's a bit upset, however, at the fact that I seem to have grown allergic to chocolate syrup. Honestly, he should have seen that coming since this time last year.
Day 33
Am tired of being assaulted by practically everyone in House. Am also tired of fetching towels for people. Want to be a Ravenclaw instead.
Day 37
Had a little rough-and-tumble with Potter today, over who was the best Seeker. Got a little carried away, forgot we were fighting and started taking off his shirt. He completely lost it and shrieked that I was after his shirt and I was the Heir of Slytherin. That boy has some serious issues, and nice biceps.
Day 40
Have written to father about having company over for next summer holiday. Asked him if he thought it would be proper to have a boy over. His only reply was, "Just ignore him, Draco. He may be Head of your House but he's not the boss of you."
Day 42
Not doing so well in classes, especially Potions, which we share with the Gryffindors. Keep getting distracted. Quite certain Dumbledore doesn't take so much of an interest in the well-being of the Boy Who Lived, as he does the Boy Who Lived To Grow Up With Watery Green Eyes and Adorable Messy Hair.
Day 50
Quidditch match coming up soon. First chance to prove myself as a great Seeker! Have been avoiding other team members at all costs. Very upset that we shall have four practices a week now.
How can the fourth one be seriously called a practice if we never leave the changing room?
Day 66
Gryffindor beat, and I really don't care at this point. Stupid captain smacked me around for an hour about it...how was I to know the Snitch was right there by my head? Was worried when heard Potter broke his arm, but saw teacher taking him up to infirmary. Now just have to worry about scary angry teammates. Think maybe I would rather go to bed dirty and in my Quidditch robes.
Day 74
Goyle's cauldron exploded today because of a firecracker. Probably the best he's ever done in that class.
Day 76
Am wondering if Dumbledore would let me convert to a Gryffindor, if father paid him enough. If not, am wondering how much father would have to pay to let me sleep in same room as certain dreamy second-year Gryffindor.
Day 87
Strange thing happened today...was telling hilarious story to Crabbe and Goyle but they seemed...I don't know...different. And Goyle was awfully insistent about hearing my story of fighting with Potter, especially the part where I tried to take his shirt off. Never pegged Goyle as swinging in that direction. Got awfully worked up about the story but didn't go into much detail before Goyle jumped out and darted from the room, shrieking aloud about not being clean. Have decided Hogwarts is a total mad house.
Day 90
Chamber of Secrets been opened and destroyed by Potter. Not really all that surprised. Gryffindor got about eight billion points for it and will win House Cup again, no doubt. Am very upset about this whole proceeding. Think maybe it would be nice if other Houses were in on all these secret plots, and could score some points of their own once in a while. Will sulk about it to father in another letter.