Late evening…...
"You really are magnificent; did you know that" Eric asked as they lay in the darkness of their bedroom?
"Oh please…what else could I do" Stephanie tried to shrug it off, but it truly did mean a lot to her that he noticed.
"You could have said nothing, you could have not given her a shoulder to cry on or let her hug you, you could have done a lot of things, but you chose to forgive" Eric replied tenderly.
"All I want is for everyone to be at peace" Stephanie admitted.
"They will be in time" Eric reassured her.
"And you" Stephanie asked cautiously? She knew Eric avoided all talk about his feelings regarding her death.
Silence.
"Eric…" Stephanie looked up at him hoping he would open- up.
"All I need is to be with you" He whispered.
"Talk to me, please" She replied as she looked into his eyes. She was afraid of what would happen to him after she was gone. He wanted to be there for her but who was going to be there for him after.
"I love you, Stephanie. I will never love anyone the way that I love you" He explained hoping she understood that no one could ever take her place in his heart. He wanted her to stop telling him that he would move on. He did not want to think about that. All he wanted was to be with her for as long as he could.
"I know" She whispered, and she did. Eric had always loved with his whole- being so she knew that his words were true. He had loved other women before, and she knew he could love again but she was not sure if he would allow himself to after she was gone. She had never seen him like this before and it worried her.
"You don't have to worry about me" He tried to reassure her. He knew what she was thinking.
"I do worry. I…I want you to love again" She shared honestly. She knew people thought she was controlling and selfish, thought of herself and her own wants and needs but it was the furthest thing from the truth. Of-course she knew they would grieve for her, but she did not want them to stay grieving for too long. The truth was she wanted her family, Eric, to be happy.
"Stephanie" Eric warned her to stop.
"You have so much love left to give" She tried to convince him.
"Don't…" He said as he sat up. It frustrated him when she did this, but he tried to keep calm.
"You deserve to be loved" She said as she reached out and touched his back with her hand.
He turned and looked at her. His reaction to her words spoke volumes without him saying a word.
She looked down after seeing the look on his face. She knew in an instant that he was thinking of her refusing to have any physical intimacy with him. Her heart ached as she realized that she had not been withholding the physical aspect only, but she had been withholding emotional intimacy from him as well. Mostly because she was afraid it would lead to him wanting more.
"Stephanie" Eric asked concerned by her silence?
"Eric, I know that I haven't…" She tried to explain.
"No, you listen to me. You have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. You gave me my children, our business, your love. I ruined it, I ruined us, I did. I do not want to rehash the past, he stated when he noticed she was going to speak.
She nodded her head in agreement.
He sighed then admitted, my point is you do not have to explain yourself anymore. I do understand that it is not rejection" He replied hoping she believed him.
"Do you really" She asked hopeful?
"I do" He nodded.
Her eyes teared with relief.
"It's going to be alright" He promised her.
Morning….
Stephanie woke up and noticed Eric was sound asleep.
A smile crossed her face.
Deciding to get up although Eric was sound asleep, she went to the restroom. While in there, she decided to take a shower. After finishing she put her robe on and went into the room. Eric was still sound asleep. She put on comfortable clothes and then went downstairs. It was very early so no one was awake. She put the tea kettle on. While sipping her tea, her phone buzzed. She picked it up and looked at it. Massimo was calling.
She picked up the phone knowing it was not something she could put off.
"Stephanie" Massimo said his voice pressured.
She closed her eyes and thought, someone told him.
"Good morning, Mass" She replied calmly.
"I am sorry. Good morning" He replied, his voice still pressured.
"How are you" She asked nervously?
"I need to see you" He said not answering her.
"Oh…well…can we meet tomorrow" She asked knowing Eric would want to spend time together?
"Is it possible to meet today? I really need to see you" He stated alarming her.
"Alright. How about late afternoon around 3pm" She asked figuring it would give her some time to spend with Eric before and after?
"Okay, thank you" He said relieved then hung up.
Stephanie sighed as she put the phone down and sipped her tea.
Noon….
Eric awoke to a full house. Stephanie was not in bed, and everyone was downstairs. He ventured down and found Stephanie in the kitchen. She smiled at him when he walked in.
"Hi Dad" Kristen said as she walked past him.
"Hi" He replied as he kept Stephanie in his line of vision.
He poured himself a cup of coffee and then joined her by the stove.
"Hi" He smiled as he leaned in and kissed her on the lips softly.
"Hi" She smiled back.
"Sorry I slept so long" He apologized.
"It's alright" She reassured him.
"How long have you been up" He asked as he sipped his coffee?
"A while, I got up early" She admitted.
"Where is Felicia" He asked concerned as he watched his other children including Ridge, at the table?
"I don't know" She admitted. "Maybe in her room."
"Do you want me to check on her" He asked?
"No, if you do not mind. I want to check on her if you can be here with them" She asked?
"Alright, you go" He reassured her.
Stephanie exited the kitchen and headed toward the stairs. Her door- bell rang distracting her so she went to answer the door.
She opened the door and was shocked to see Jackie.
"Hi Jackie" Stephanie said surprised.
"Hi Stephanie, do you have a moment" Jackie asked?
Stephanie and Jackie went to the living room and sat beside one another.
"Has Massimo called you" Jackie asked?
"Yes, this morning" Stephanie admitted.
"He knows" Jackie informed her.
Stephanie remained silent.
"Why didn't you tell us" Jackie asked her anger surfacing past the sadness she felt?
"I planned to. I just told the kids" Stephanie replied as she sighed.
Jackie nodded her head in understanding.
"Who told him" Stephanie asked?
"Felicia did" Jackie said shocking Stephanie.
A short time later….
Felicia was in her room, lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling. Dino had joined the other's downstairs a while ago. She could not manage to go down. A knock on her door surprised her but she did not reply. The door opened. She sighed frustrated as she sat up.
"Mom" Felicia said when she realized who it was.
"Good afternoon" Stephanie replied as she shut the door behind her.
"Is it" Felicia asked? Her eyes instantly watering.
Stephanie walked over and sat beside her, taking her hand, and whispered, "it is because I have all of you with me."
Felicia tears fell instantly.
Stephanie hugged her holding her tight.
After a long embrace and tears, Felicia wiped at her face with a tissue.
"Jackie was here" Stephanie admitted.
Felicia looked at her feeling guilty.
"You told Massimo" Stephanie stated not angrily.
Felicia sighed then admitted, "he called Ridge last night, but he was…upset and had gone outside. I picked up his phone because I thought it might be one of the kids or Taylor."
"I see" Stephanie replied simply.
"He asked me if I am okay, I guess he could tell by my voice that something was wrong. He said that I sounded like you when you are upset about something." Felicia said honestly.
Stephanie looked at her and smiled. "You are my baby girl" She said tenderly.
"I started to cry" Felicia admitted.
"It's alright to cry sweetheart and I'm sure Massimo understood" Stephanie said wanting to soothe her.
"He was great, the things he said and…I am sorry I told him. I know you wanted to tell him" Felicia sighed.
"It's okay I'm not upset" Stephanie reassured her.
"He really loves you mom…" Felicia said in a low voice not wanting anyone, her father to overhear.
Stephanie nodded her head acknowledging the truth of it.
Late afternoon….
Stephanie found Eric in his study at his desk. She walked in and shut the door to give them privacy. She had to talk to him before Massimo showed up at the house.
"Everything okay with Felicia" He asked concerned?
"She was upset" Stephanie admitted.
Eric went over to her, and they sat down.
"She told Massimo and he told Jackie. She came here earlier" Stephanie admitted.
"Oh…I see" Eric replied as he looked at her sympathetically.
"He is going to come over. I hope it is all right" She replied as she looked at him.
"It is fine. I…I was being a silly, jealous fool before. I know how he feels, and I will not deny that it does bother me, but we are married so that means I won" He smiled triumphantly.
She smiled shaking her head at him. He could be so silly, but she loved that about him.
"I love you" He whispered as he leaned in for a kiss.
"I love you too" She whispered back as she met his kiss.
"You don't have to do this alone" He reassured her.
"I know" She replied.
"Do you want me to be with you when you talk to him" He asked knowing how hard it would be for her?
"No, I think I need to talk to him alone" She said since she knew it was going to be difficult.
"I will be here if you need me" He reassured her.
"Thank you for understanding" She replied feeling relieved that it would not be an issue.
3pm….
Stephanie heard a car pull up and knew who it was. She felt herself get nervous but told herself firmly that it would be all right. She would be honest with him, and he will understand but deep inside she knew it would not be that easy.
The door- bell rang so she walked over and answered it. Massimo stood there and she could see he was tired and concerned about her.
"Mass, come in" She said as she held the door open. He walked in. She shut the door and led him to the living room.
"Do you want a drink" She asked feeling nervous again?
"No, thank you" He replied.
They sat.
"Jackie was here earlier" She shared trying to ease the tension in the room.
"She told me" He replied honestly.
"I spoke with Felicia, and she told me about the phone call" She continued hoping he would talk, she felt herself on edge.
"Does Pam know" He asked?
"No…not yet" She admitted.
"The three of us have a long history…." He said as he looked at his hands.
"Yes, we do" She agreed.
"Your mother…." He said trying to express his thought but finding himself unable to. He could not understand why she was doing this when he could help.
"Yes, she was crazy about you" Stephanie teased trying desperately to avoid the talk she knew was coming.
Massimo managed a small smile.
"She was sick too…" He forced himself to say although he never thought he would have this conversation with her.
"Mass…I know what you are going to say. Yes, she died of cancer. But she died the way she wanted. That is all I am asking for. You know me. I need to do this my way" She tried to explain.
"You don't have to do this at all…let me help" He replied, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears as he grabbed her hand holding it tight.
"Please try to understand. I…I want to be with my family not searching for treatments" She tried to explain as she squeezed his hand.
"These treatments could give you more time with them, they could save your life!" He said more forceful than he intended.
"No, it cannot, and you know that, deep inside you know. We all do. Mass, please…accept my decision" She begged him.
"I can't…" He said honestly and in that instant; he knew he could not sit around and watch her do nothing.
"Mass…" She tried to talk to him more, but he stood up abruptly.
"I have to go" He replied as he walked away from her.
"Please do not do this" She begged him. She did not realize until that moment how much this was going to hurt her. Of-course he knew how she felt about him. At least she thought she did.
"Stephanie, I love you. Don't you understand that" He snapped heart-broken and angry?
She stared at him in shock. Her heart clenched tightly.
Her silence made him feel worse. Unable to deal with anymore he walked out.
Stephanie let him go.