Chapter 3: Time out for Quidditch!
"Once more! From the top! And this time no groaning in the background! This is a soon-to-be hit song, not a sex hotline!" Percy yelled with such annoying vigor that his face almost matched the color of his hair. "That's probably why it'll be a hit song," sniggered Draco amusingly as Harry rolled his eyes. A chorus of harmonized groans emitted from the enclosed DADA room. With fits of giggles and shades of blushing, girls could be seen trying to peer through the glass. Among them were Ginny, Parvati and Pansy.
"We shall go over it again until it sounds right!" Percy ordered once again, waving his hand over and over just as added effect. For some reason, the notes weren't being hit or not enough feeling was put into a certain part. He looked over the music sheets for "Fly Fly Fly" and noticed that Draco was singing most of the solos. "Curse that Malfoy git. If it isn't one thing, it's another." Percy thought. "Let's see if I can alter this a bit"
Seeing Percy fumbling with the music, the boys took this opportunity for a break and collapsed into a couple of seats.
"Ron, I thought your brother wanted to be our manager, not some blood-thirsty slave-driver!" whined a sweaty Neville.
"Look on the bright side Nev," Ron said, turning sideways to face Neville. "At least you're losing some weight." Neville made a face at this.
"Yeah," sniggered Draco, "maybe now you can actually hit a decent bludger! Make sure you have that remembrall too. That way you might actually remember that you're suppose to hit the bludger, not the other way around." Upon further reflection Draco thus added, "And if you do get knocked off your broom again by a bludger at least you'll remember to fall on your fat @$s." (Sorry folks, had to do that. Slightly altered from the movie, but eh, I'm not perfect. >=P )
"BLUDGER?! CRIPES!" both Harry and Ron yelled in unison. While everyone blinked questioningly at the two, Harry and Ron jumped up to their feet; a very worried and panicked expression on both their pale faces.
"What in blazes--?" Percy demanded, obviously irritated at the distraction because his music vibes had been disrupted by inharmonious shouts.
"Percy, we're really sorry to leave--" Harry began.
"But Harry and Neville and I have to go to quidditch practice." Ron finished.
"Oh! Quidditch! Can I come too?" begged Oliver, not wanting to stay an unnecessary moment longer in the DADA room which, much to his dismay, had begun to smell quite unsanitary with B.O. That, and he liked Quidditch. Draco rolled his eyes and scoffed. "What a sick puppy," he thought, but did not say only because he was out of breath.
Percy was definitely not amused. Seeing as how 4/5 of his band wanted to leave and probably won't be paying any more attention to singing practice for the rest of the day (plus the fact that the music needed some considerable adjustments due to Draco's big head) he decided to let them go.
"Fine but you all better be here for tomorrow's rehearsal. By then, we should have this problem fixed." He concluded after waving the leaves of music around at that last sentence. And with that, dismissed them with a wave of his hand. The group scrambled immediately for the door.
Ron was the first to get his hand around the doorknob and as he jerked open the door a stream of nail polished hands came flooding into the DADA room, surrounding the group of tired boys.
"HOLY BLUDGERS ON A QUIDDITCH FIELD! SOMEONE'S GRABBING FOR MY KNICKERS!" yelled Neville glancing in bewilderment at the others as beads of perspiration dripped down his face, which caused them to roar with laughter as they zig zagged their way through the screaming fans and to the quidditch field. Neville yanked his knickers back up, which resulted in the ultimate English wedgie since Curly from the Three Stooges. "Urk."
"Now to pay my dear twin brothers a visit." Percy sighed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So Harry," Oliver mused as he questioned Harry of the latest quidditch happenings at Hogwarts while they strolled down to the field, "care to enlighten me as to who the house captains are?" Oliver asked, raising a brow, waiting to hear that Harry had taken his place. He wouldn't have it any other way. Harry was his protégé.
"Well, for Hufflepuff we have Ernie Macmillan, Ravenclaw is Cho Chang," Harry mentally swore as he felt a blush creep onto his cheeks at his mentioning Cho but continued hastily as he noticed the guys grinning at him stupidly.
"Oh Cho, you look so sexy with that broom between your legs!" Draco said dreamily, making a motion to ride a broom and slap his ass. "Hahahaa!" roared the others with laughter. "Slytherin is Draco Malfoy," Draco grinned a wide, proud grin and took a bow only to hear girls whistle from the stand. Of course, Draco turned around to see his admirers and winked at them before turning back around to the others with a dopey grin.
"Gryffindor is--" Oliver urged but was cut of abruptly by another voice. A voice filled with such anger as it roared in outrage and could probably be heard all the way to the boy's bathroom in the west wing. (This is just by presumption of course. ^_^; )
"POTTER! WEASLEY! LOOOONGBOOOOTTOM!" (Get it? LONGbottom eh heh.)
"Oh bloody hell," muttered Ron, lowering his gaze to the floor and running his hand through his red locks.
"That didn't sound too good…" Neville swallowed as a girl on a polished Firestorm 2002 landed swiftly in front of them, glaring daggers with eyes that swirled a mesmerizing amethyst.
Oliver quirked another brow and asked without any hint of fear in his scottish accent. "Ai, and who would that be?"
Draco sniggered.
"What?" Oliver asked, irritated.
"That," Harry said, fixing his gaze on the foxy senorita with black, brown-streaked smooth hair. "...is the Gryffindor captain."
"Could you repeat that, Harry, I don't think I heard you too well."
"That...is the Gryffindor captain."
"Come again, Potter?"
"I. AM. THE GRYFFINDOR CAPTAIN," shouted the further enraged female, as she summoned her broom into her vise-like grip and continued glaring unhappily at the lot while muttering about the effects of being hit with bludgers taking a toll.
"...you've got to be kidding me..." Oliver murmured, turning his attention to Ron, Draco, Neville and then holding his gaze at Harry. "Please tell me that you lot are trying to pull a gag on me and that she," Oliver pointed rather rudely at the captain, "is not the captain."
"No joke. You want proof? She's Madame Hooche's niece," Ron stated matter of factly, as if being the niece had somehow been the winning edge. "Ah, cripes, she's marching this way now. Single file, chaps."
The girl marched right up to the group of boys and stood there, crossing her arms over her chest, giving them a cheeky smile. Her Firestorm hovered beside her. She eyed them all very carefully, as if their features would allow her to analyze them. It sure felt like it.
"...Harry...I've got to pick my wedge."
"Neville, I thought you picked it before?"
"I did, but she's staring at me and I don't know what else to do."
"Bloody hell..."
While the other boys sheepishly lowered their heads to escape her critical gaze, Oliver defiantly glared back. But as his eyes hit hers, his glare gradually softened. The mysterious girl's captivating eyes was entrancing him. Why, if this was some cheesy soap opera, you would've expected hearts to pop out and swirl around his head. Ah, the birth of infatuation versus the definity of love.
"Well?" she suddenly asked, causing the boys to jump just a little and swallow. They had no idea why they were scared of this girl, but for some reason they figured it was easier backing down before a war started.
Harry, Ron and Neville looked at each other, waiting to see who would provide the explanation as to why they were late. Ron stepped forward bravely.
"Well, you see uhrm captain, we were at singing practice and right when we were about to go, Neville here had to go take a whizzer! But when we opened the door to go out, all these swarming girls started coming at us! Right at us! And they wouldn't let us out until Oliver took off his robes! Piece by piece and then he licked his finger and ran it down his chest, he did! So he distracted the girls while we ran to the bathroom and I swear on my grades that Neville took such a long whiz that the rest of us had to go! And we don't want to leak on our brooms either. So then we finally ran and ran all the way out to the fields!" Ron concluded triumphantly at his impromptu excuse made right at the moment.
Oliver scoffed angrily and demandingly asked, "Now leht meh get this straight here lassie. This hea is tha new captahn is it?" (hahaa, sorry I love mocking scotty's accent. ^_^)
"I have a name, you know." The girl replied icily.
Oliver turned towards the girl and gave her a "I could care less" look. The rest of the group couldn't believe what was going on and decided to pray for Oliver's sake that the girl would just let everything slide.
"Ah, realleh, du yah? Well than, why don't cha tell meh it?"
"If I tell you it, I'll have to make you forget it."
"Huh?"
"Nothing. I'm Artemis. Artemis Beoulve."
"Ah, Ah dun think mah accent cahn du much justice to yer name."
"Then get rid of that phony accent."
"Well t'ain't mah fault! Ah've gaht ta du it fer tha ladies! They think Ah'm damn sexy!" (Sorry folks, I was watching Austin Powers. XD Hahaa...right.)
"...Okie. So now ignoring the overly accented army hair cut man over there, lets get on with practice for the match against Ravenclaw." And with that Artemis hopped back onto her broom and zoomed off to center field.
"I like her. She's scary." Ron said.
"...right," Muttered Oliver, watching the figure gradually shrink. "Right..."
"Hey Oliver, aren't you coaching tomorrow's game?"
Oliver nodded before heading out to the Quidditch locker rooms to check on the chest..
~~~~~~~~~Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The stadium was loaded with witches and wizards and professors and families and tons and tons of cracked peanut shells were scattered all over the floors. Mmm, peanutty. In each of their separate rooms, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were both attempting to psyche themselves out. They knew that the match would not be an easy one. Odds were even. With Artemis as the captain, she had managed to maintain and even boost the phenomenal excellency of the Gryffindor team. But Cho Chang was as tough as nails and her team loved her; they would do anything legitimate to win this match. News was that Artemis and Cho were rivals. News, which can be watched at every hour on the hour at Hogwarts, was right.
"All right team," Artemis said enthusiastically to her other team mates huddled in a circle around her, "We win this game, we win the cup. Do we really want to be beaten by a sissy black raven club filled mostly of witch goths?"
Harry interuppted. "Well, technically, they're not bad witch goths and -"
"Potter. Keep it down. We all know the only reason you're saying that is because you've got your wand set on Cho. Well don't let your pansy heart crushes interfere with our game or else I'll have you out of the team after I blame our losing the game on your inability to focus on anything but Cho's tight ass."
Harry swallowed. Technically, she was right; thus he kept quiet.
"Hahahaa," laughed Oliver jubilantly, "Ai, you've got to admit, she's got a way with words, Potturr."
Harry rolled his eyes. And the team refocused, lining in a straight line. Ready to march out onto the field and take their designated positions. Standing in the very front, Artemis whispered to Harry behind her, "We may have social differences, but for the sake of the team, Harry, do your best."
Harry blinked. Regained his thinking process, and nodded. "Okei. You too."
Oliver watched for a few moments before exiting the Gryffindor's side and riding to the Ravenclaw's side.
Cho Chang was trailing her fingers along the recently dried coat of black gloss paint she had applied to her Windblazer 2002 broom. The other members of the Ravenclaw were seated on benches shaped in an octagon. Cho was in the center, kneeling.
"Ravenclaw. Who are the Gryffindor's right now?" asked Cho smoothly, her words rushing out like a stream of flowing water -simplistic yet complexingly not so simplistic. Her eyes were outlined in black, giving her the mysterious aura of one dubbed a "goth" and her robes matched the hushed darkness of her eyes. In other words, she was stunning.
"OUR ENEMIES!" shouted the piping hot and ready to go Ravenclaw quidditch players, decked in their black quidditch uniforms.
"And what do they think of us?"
"They think we're a bunch of satin-worshipping, mindless idiots who have nothing to say but wear dark clothes so that we look whiter."
"And what do we do to stereotypical enemies on broomsticks during the most important match of our season?"
"...we bring them down."
"Line up team. We're ready."
Silently, the Ravenclaw assembled into a seemingly perfect straight line just as Oliver arrived.
"Arh ya ready tah go, Cho?"
"Yes."
"Ahll raight." And with a nod and a "g luck to yah" Oliver wooshed to center field as the excitement of the crowds was heard from the crunching of peanut shells under people's shoes. The whistle was blown and one by one, at synchronized timing, each team member walked onto the field with their brooms, then quickly jumped on and dashed up into the air. Once all the players were hovering overhead, Oliver layed down the chest containing the bludgers and snitch.
"G luck to yah both." And with that said, Oliver opened the chest and ZOOM! The snitch zoomed out and into the oblivion with Harry and Ravenclaw Seeker, Lanz, scanning the field for it. The bludgers quickly hurled themselves at the nearest player, but their tracks were stopped short as Felis, Ravenclaw bludger, managed his infamous two-for-one-or-I'll-be-bludged feat and whacked both bludgers in the direction of Artemis, who easily did a quick loop around the bludger. Harry, on the other hand, was too busy looking for either the snitch or Cho Chang and didn't notice the one bludger sailing towards him until Artemis came swooshing and did a tail flip to knock the bludger right at Cho Chang.
"Uh oh folks!" came the booming voice of the announcer, Amatsu, "It looks like this match isn't just between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. The two captains are apparently out to get each other. And that last bludge looked like it would have sniped someone's head off. Lucky for Cho, she's fast as a kamikaze with a Chinese stamp of certification." (Note: There is absolutely no prejiduce of any sort in this story and if you, the reader, havae thought of it that way, then my sincerest apologies but really. It's just a story.)
The bludgers continuously tried to knock players off their brooms as if their sole existence was to feel the impact of their sides smash against the robes of wizardry. Meanwhile, Harry was glaring in all directions for the snitch.
"Bloody Hell, that snitch has a mind of its own, " muttered Harry under his breath as the glint of the sun blinded him for a split second.
"Wait a minute..." he thought. "That's no sun..."
"IT'S THE SNITCH!" screamed an excited Amatsu into the microphone. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE SNITCH IS IN SIGHT AND IT LOOKS LIKE HARRY IS GOING RIGHT AT IT. OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND? WHO CARES! BUT THIS COULD BE THE FASTEST GAME WE'VE SEEN IN TWO YEARS!"
"Not if I have anything to do with it," thought Cho, who quickly signaled a teammate to hit the ball at Harry.
"Oh, you're going down girl," growled Artemis as she caught the signal and quickly scored a goal before catching Harry's attention.
"What are you trying to say?" thought Harry as he blinked aimlessly at the flaying Artemis.
"You idiot! WATCH OUT!"
SMACK.
"...OH MY GOSH! FOLKS, IT LOOKS LIKE HARRY IS IN A SLIGHT DAZE AFTER THAT BLUDGER HIT HIM AND WHOA! THE DISTRACTION IS JUST WHAT CHO NEEDED! TEN POINTS TO RAVENCLAW AND THE SCORES ARE TIED FOLKS SO FAR INTO THE GAME. TEN TO TEN!"
"Jeffers! Blade X! NOW!" yelled Cho to the guy on her right. After these words had been shouted, the members of Ravenclaw quidditch, armed with all the balls being bounced skillfully up and down using the tips of their brooms, formed an X. But the lines were curved inward slightly so that the Ravenclaw resembled a pack of death scythe blades - black coats and dangerous lethality.
"What in the-"
"WORLD IS GOING ON HERE FOLKS?! IT LOOKS LIKE CHO HAS JUST ASSEMBELED SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THE FLYING V BUT WITH TWICE THE BUSTER RIFLE POWER! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT."
The two front men, both bludger-batters, simultaneously whacked bludgers at Artemis, who, while slightly taken aback by the sudden formation had to angle and rotate herself on the broom to avoid a crash course collision. While Artemis was busy performing her aerodynamic dodging, Ravenclaw suddenly picked up sonar speed.
"BLOO-! I mean, BY THE SPELL BOUND BOOKS OF THE FORBIDDEN SECTION, THE RAVENCLAW MEMBERS ARE REPORTEDLY ZOOMING STRAIGHT AT GRYFFINDOR. THE SPEED IS 80 MPH AND PICKING UP. AT ANY RATE THEY'LL-"
"CRAASH! AAHHHH!" The Gryffindors quickly scampered up and down and sideways to avert the supposedly raging mad Ravenclaws.
"BLOODY 'ELL, THEY'RE HEADIN' STRAIGHT FOR US LIKE A PACK OF WILD WILDERBEASTS like in Lion King. Woo. Mufasa!" yelled Ron as he made a motion to avert having his stomach splurged by the handle of a broom.
The game had become an all-bars out battle of quidditch. And Oliver stood in center field, face up, watching every move. He was impressed. Cho was good. But what about that other girl? Hrm.
The two bludger-batters angled their brooms to the side, and flew in circles around the X whacking away all the bludgers that may interfere. They had hawk-eye precision, and the Gryffindors became worried.
"Oh bloody hell..." muttered Artemis. "I didn't think they had improved..."
The other members of Ravenclaw, equipped with determination and good aim, easily shot balls through each of the rings while Gryffindor stumbled away from the seemingly endless onslaught of bludgers or valiantly failed to stop the incoming balls from entering the goals.
"HEAVING PILES OF OLD CAFETERIA FOOD! RAVENCLAW HAS JUST SCORED FORTY MORE POINTS FOR THEIR TEAM! AND NOW THEY TAKE THE LEAD BUT HOW LONG WILL IT LAST? THE SNITCH IS STILL ON THE LOOSE!"
Cho wore a confident smile as she easily evaded a bludger and kept her eye on Artemis, now glowering with contempt. Artemis nodded her head and the Gryffindors scattered into different positions, Neville taking the spot right beside a goal post. Ravenclaw responded by putting a blocker in front of each Gryffindor member. Things were looking rather intense, and Oliver liked it.
"These are more exciting than my old games," Oliver thought, "but that's because I always get hit in the head two minutes into the game and wake up a week later in a hospital...not to mention all the free gifts I get..."
That didn't help what would come next. Artemis hit the balls one by one to different members who then hit it to someone else and it appeared that the balls were hopping like frogs but steadily making their way to the goals.
"AND IT LOOKS LIKE ARTEMIS HAS A FEW TRICKS uhrm SPELLS uhrm PLANS UP HER SLEEVE! WHAT APPEARS TO BE HOPPING MAD FROGS IS REALLY AN ARRAY OF BALLS MAKING THEIR WAY TO THE RAVENCLAW RINGS! AND BY THE WAY, VISIT FRED AND GEORGE'S INFAMOUS HOPPING MAD TRICK STORE FOR THE BEST SUPPLY OF CANDIES AND OTHER FANTAZMO DELIGHTS!"
From the stands, Fred and George exchanged high fives. "WOO! FREE ADVERTISEMENT! THANKS AMATSU!"
"I better get that ten percent discount..." thought Amatsu as she resumed watching the hopping mad balls.
The first ball to reach the far left goal didn't look like it was going to go in. Harry had hit it, but the hit was aimed so that the ball made an upside down U shaped curve and it wasn't going straight into the hole.
"BUT WAIT! WHAT'S THIS FOLKS! THERE'S NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM COMING FROM THE SIDE! IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S...YES! YES, FOLKS! HE'S HITTING THE BALLS STRAIGHT INTO THE GOAL ONE BY ONE AS THE BALLS COME HOPPING MAD IN FRONT OF THE RINGS! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR! HE'S MADE FOUR SHOTS! FORTY POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR AND NOW THE SCORE IS-"
"...tied. Drats..." Cho swerved around. The team would have to hold out until Lanz could get the snitch. If he could. Cho sighed. Harry was better, and she knew it too. "Just a little more time and-"
VWOOSH!
A bludger had just passed an inch from her head, only to be bludged by Ravenclaw bludgee, Skyler.
"WHOA FOLKS IT LOOKS LIKE THAT BLUDGER IS HEADED STRAIGHT AT ARTEMIS BEOULVE!"
At hearing this, Artemis turned around and her eyes grew wide. "Oh bloody hell...what to do, hurry think!" She stood up on her broom, executing a forward flip high into the air. Her hand reached and grasped the handle of her broom, yanking it up to her right as the bludger was whisking by. Taking one good shot, she rammed the end of her broom against the bludger and remounted her beloved Firestorm 2002.
"MY GOLLY, FOLKS! IN A NEVER BEFORE SEEN STUNT, ARTEMIS HAS JUST KNOCKED THE BLUDGER AWAY FROM HER AND TO...TO...MY SWEET SPELLS! IT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR REFEREE OLIVER WOOD."
Oliver was too shocked at the feat Artemis had just done to realize that the bludger was heading straight for him at an alarming speed. Not that it would make much of a difference. This guy built his reputation on getting hit by bludgers.
"I think I saw her knickers..." was Oliver's last thought before closing time.
"OH MY GOSH! FOLKS, OLIVER WOOD IS DOWN ON THE GROUND AND HE'S NOT GETTING BACK UP! HE'S NOT MOVING EITHER! THE MEDICAL TEAM IS COMING TO HIS AID AND CARRYING HIM OFF THE FIELD AND WHAT'S THIS? YOU CAN HEAR ALL THE DISAPPOINTED SIGHS OF GIRLS WHO CAME HERE TO THIS GAME JUST TO TAKE COMMERATIVE PHOTOS OF OLIVER IN A REFEREE UNIFORM! WELL, I'M SURE THEY GOT MORE THAN THEY BARGAINED FOR!"
Announcer Amatsu continued.
"SUBSTITUTING FOR REFEREE OLIVER WOOD IS -HEY COME ON CROWD! YOU KNOW HER! YOU LOVE HER! SHE'S BEEN TEACHING YOU HOW TO FLY BROOMS SINCE HER HAIR WAS BLACK! LETS GIVE IT UP FOR MADAAAME HOOCHE! MADAME HOOCHE IS ALSO THE AUNT OF OUR GRYFFINDOR LEADING LADY, ARTEMIS BEOULVE!" At this point, Artemis blanched and called time out, motioning her hands to form a "T"
"AND IT LOOKS LIKE ARTEMIS HAS CALLED A FIVE MINUTE TIME OUT! FOLKS, NOW'S THE TIME TO GET MORE PEANUTS! Mmm, crunchy."
Amatsu snuck her hand into the depths of her robe and pulled out a bag of piping hot peanuts. Now the good thing about being an announcer was that you got all the free peanutty power you wanted and a bottle of ice cold water. Woo, hah!
Cho Chang turned to glare at Artemis, who arched a fine brow and returned the hostile look. Oh that girl is going down, thought Artemis. Even if it means a private battle, finished Cho. Why was Cho so infuriated by Oliver's dismissal. It's not like she liked him. Her thoughts on this change of referee? Artemis had purposely knocked out Oliver Wood so that her aunt would come in. After the break was over, Artemis resumed her position. She wanted to end the game fast before Madame Hooche showed a preference to Gryffindor and started calling out fouls or illegal moves.
Speaking of which...
"IT LOOKS LIKE THE SNITCH HAS REAPPEARED! YES! FOLKS, IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED! IT'S WAY UP HIGH AND NO NO! IT'S ZOOMING DOWN FAST! NEAR THE LEFT SIDE OF THE FIELD! HEY, SEEKERS IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, THE SNITCH IS ON THE LEFT SIDE! GO, GO, GO! This has been the longest Gryffindor game folks, and quite frankly, I don't think I could manage yelling anymore."
The two seekers glanced at each other. Then at the snitch. Then back at each other, as if waiting for the other to make the move first. Lanz did.
"LANZ JUST GO ALREADY!" yelled his team mate, Azure Stiley, right before a bludger rammed straight smack into his back almost hurdling him forward and off the broom. Lanz nodded and vroomed off to the snitch. Harry followed right behind.
"What is that idiot doing?!" thought Artemis. "He should've just gone, not waited for the other guy to make the first move! Damn, no wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend by now!" Despite her angry thoughts, Artemis wished that Harry would get the snitch. Go on, Pottah!
"THE TWO SEEKERS ARE SIDE BY SIDE NOW! MY THOUGHTS ARE WHOEVER HAS THE LONGEST ARM IS GOING TO WIN!"
"Forget it, Pottah. That snitch is as good as mine."
Harry grinned. "Right." Lanz scoffed and stood up on his broom, balanced perfectly. His robe was becoming slightly disheveled as the wind fanned it behind him so that the part tied around his neck was practically choking him. This he took no notice of. Harry wasn't sure what Lanz was going to do or whether or not he should attempt to perform that same feat when they were both 10,000 feet high. The other quidditch players had stopped. Motionless, they watched. Some with their jaws down. Some with their hands shielding their eyes from the penetrating sunlight. Some planning to duke it out after the game...some like Artemis and Cho.
"LADIES AND GENTS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT LANZ IS TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT LOOKS DANGEROUS!"
"All right, there's no bloody way I'm going to let Lanz get that snitch no matter how daredevil he's going to be," thought Harry as he glimpsed at Lanz then the snitch. "I'll feel bloody bad for this later, but who gives a damn when the cup is in our hands?" Harry angled his broom to the side-straight into Lanz.
"OH MY GRACIOUS AND TAKE MY BREATH AWAY! HARRY HAS JUST RAMMED AGAINST LANZ. MIRACUIOUSLY, LANZ HAS MANAGED TO STAY ON THE BROOM! THEY'RE OUT TO KILL EACH OTHER! IS THIS LEGAL? YES! YES, IT IS LEGAL! ACCORDING TO THE UNIVERSALLY UNDERSTOOD RULES OF QUIDDITCH, A PLAYER IS AT THEIR OWN RISK WHEN THEY DECIDE TO TAKE ANY OTHER POSITION THAN SITTING ON THEIR BROOM! BUT FOLKS! I DIDN'T THINK SCHOOL GAMES COULD GET THIS HOSTILE! BLOW ME DOWN AND GIVE ME A LOLLIPOP!"
Lanz shook off the hit and took a deep breath. "I've got to do it." Side glancing, he saw Harry ready to take another swing at him, and he wasn't sure this time he'd be lucky enough to stay on his broom. "Here goes."
Lanz jumped up and did a forward flip in the air. Desperately reaching one hand out, he grabbed the snitch, but-
"THIS WON'T SAVE HIM IF HE HITS THE FLOOR! I DON'T KNOW IF LANZ IS SUICIDAL BUT IF HE IS THEN HE CAN DIE KNOWING THAT HE WON THE GAME FOR RAVENCLAW! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! RAVENCLAW WINS! BUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO LANZ?!"
Lanz swallowed and looked down. He was horizontal in the air now, one hand grasping the snitch and his feet. What about his feet?
"HOLY CRIPES! LANZ HAS GRABBED THE END OF HIS BROOM WITH HIS FEET AND AS HE'S PLUNGING DOWN TO WHAT LOOKS LIKE FIVE MONTHS IN THE HOSPITAL, HE'S ALSO SWINGING THE BROOM UNDER HIM SO THAT…SO THAT HE'S LAYING ON IT! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! LANZ HAS JUST PERFORMED AN OUTSTANDING FEAT FOR US! GO AND CELEBRATE WITH MORE PEANUTS CUZ THIS SEEKER IS WORTH THE CRUNCHING!"
Lanz finally breathed out after what seemed like holding his breath for eternity. Sitting upright, snitch in hand, he was pummeled into a huge bear group hug from his teammates.
Draco blinked. Ron blinked. Neville blinked. Harry blinked. Oliver would blink two weeks later after he regained consciousness and was told the story.
"Bloody cripes, Harry. The Ravenclaws win because they're suicidal!" Ron said, a mixed hint of awe and disbelief in his tone. The boys snuck a look at Artemis. She didn't look too pleased. They snuck a look at Cho. She didn't look too pleased either though they did win the match.
"Uh oh. I think Cho and Artemis are going to have a quidditch showdown..." murmured Neville.
"...I wager on Cho." Answered Seamus.
"No way, it's definitely Artemis." Came Dean.
"Hahaa, we're so evil."
"Riight."