1 Harry Potter Movie Spoofs
Take 2
(Book 3)
phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Vernon Dursley speaking.
Ron: yelling HELLO? HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I-WANT-TO-TALK-TO-HARRY- POTTER!
Uncle Vernon: WHO IS THIS? WHO ARE YOU?
Ron: RON-WEASLEY! I'M A FRIEND OF HARRY'S FROM SCHOOL!
Uncle Vernon: THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER HERE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN! DON'T YOU COME NEAR MY FAMILY!
five minutes later, phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Vernon Dursley speaking.
Ron: rapping Yo, is Shaniqua there?
Uncle Vernon: rapping No, man Shaniqua don't live here no mo.
Ron: rapping Yo, how about Harry?
Uncle Vernon: GET AWAY FROM ME!
five minutes later, phone rings
Ron: Is Mr. Varnone Darsley there? I'm with Microsoft; this is just a courtesy call. We have in an excellent new PC for just $1,399! Buy now and receive a free Lexmark 3200 color printer, Panasonic 20-inch screen television, or-
Uncle Vernon: Mr. Dursley isn't home right now. Don't call back.
Ron: Or a '99 Compaq 223 laptop! Free installation, shipping, and handling! Our computers are stocked with 5 gigs of memory, an advanced sound system and automatic Windows Media Player! Our new and improved Microsoft Word can be equipped with
Uncle Vernon: hangs up phone
Ron: Is Harry there?
five minutes later, phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Vernon Dursley speaking.
Ron: CONGRATULATIONS! Mr. Vernon Dursley, you have been chosen to receive an all expenses paid vacation to the rolling sand dunes of the Sahara! Enjoy the prickly sensation of the native cacti! Breathe the dusty air! Feel the wrath of the indigenous poisonous scorpions! And best of all, you get to stay THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Uncle Vernon: Really to the Sahara? Wow, I've always wanted to go to the Sahara!
Ron: Is Harry there?
Uncle Vernon: WHAT THE HELL?
five minutes later, phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Listen up you filthy rotten juvenile delinquent! I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep! I swear on everything holy that if you bother my family again I'll do so many things to you that your own mother won't recognize you!
???????-??????-????-????-
Translation: ET phone home.ET phone home..
Take 2
(Book 3)
phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Vernon Dursley speaking.
Ron: yelling HELLO? HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I-WANT-TO-TALK-TO-HARRY- POTTER!
Uncle Vernon: WHO IS THIS? WHO ARE YOU?
Ron: RON-WEASLEY! I'M A FRIEND OF HARRY'S FROM SCHOOL!
Uncle Vernon: THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER HERE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN! DON'T YOU COME NEAR MY FAMILY!
five minutes later, phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Vernon Dursley speaking.
Ron: rapping Yo, is Shaniqua there?
Uncle Vernon: rapping No, man Shaniqua don't live here no mo.
Ron: rapping Yo, how about Harry?
Uncle Vernon: GET AWAY FROM ME!
five minutes later, phone rings
Ron: Is Mr. Varnone Darsley there? I'm with Microsoft; this is just a courtesy call. We have in an excellent new PC for just $1,399! Buy now and receive a free Lexmark 3200 color printer, Panasonic 20-inch screen television, or-
Uncle Vernon: Mr. Dursley isn't home right now. Don't call back.
Ron: Or a '99 Compaq 223 laptop! Free installation, shipping, and handling! Our computers are stocked with 5 gigs of memory, an advanced sound system and automatic Windows Media Player! Our new and improved Microsoft Word can be equipped with
Uncle Vernon: hangs up phone
Ron: Is Harry there?
five minutes later, phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Vernon Dursley speaking.
Ron: CONGRATULATIONS! Mr. Vernon Dursley, you have been chosen to receive an all expenses paid vacation to the rolling sand dunes of the Sahara! Enjoy the prickly sensation of the native cacti! Breathe the dusty air! Feel the wrath of the indigenous poisonous scorpions! And best of all, you get to stay THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Uncle Vernon: Really to the Sahara? Wow, I've always wanted to go to the Sahara!
Ron: Is Harry there?
Uncle Vernon: WHAT THE HELL?
five minutes later, phone rings
Uncle Vernon: Listen up you filthy rotten juvenile delinquent! I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep! I swear on everything holy that if you bother my family again I'll do so many things to you that your own mother won't recognize you!
???????-??????-????-????-
Translation: ET phone home.ET phone home..