p Harry Potter Movie Spoofs

p Book Four

p ~Scene One~

p Harry is trying to talk to Cedric alone about the dragons.

p Harry: Diffindo!

p Cedric: gets a boner What the ~@#$!?

p Harry: Oops, wrong spell…

p ~Scene Two~

p Harry is in the prefect's bathroom , talking to Moaning Myrtle about putting the egg underwater.

p Harry: You keep your eyes shut! gets out of the tub and walks across to the eggs

p Myrtle: peeks Holy @#$%!

p Harry: hears her and turns to her, naked Oh yea, baby. Once you have black, you never go back.

p ~Scene Three~

p Harry is in Dumbledore's memory, at Barty Crouch Jr.'s trial.

p Crouch Sr.: We have heard the evidence against you. The four of you stand accused of capturing an Auror-Frank Longbottom-and subjecting him to the Cruciatus Curse, believing him to have knowledge of the present whereabouts of your exiled master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named…"

p Crouch Jr.: Father, I didn't! I didn't, I swear it, Father, don't send me back to the dementors…"

p Crouch Sr.: You are further accused of using the Cruciatus Curse on Frank Longbottom's wife, when he would not give you information…"

p Crouch Jr.: Wait! I can tell you what really happened, if you won't send me back to the dementors!"

p Crough Sr.: What?

p Crouch Jr.: I never put the Cruciatus Curse on them, I swear. It was… he hesitates

p Crouch Sr.: Out with it!

p Crouch Jr.: I made them watch Richard Simmons with me and now they've gone insane!

p ~Scene Four~

p Hermione has just kissed Harry on the cheek (at the very end). She walks over to Ron.

p Hermione: Ron, I—

p Ron: Hermione, it's just that—

p Hermione: I'm not going to Bulgaria—

p Ron: I'm sorry about the Yule Ball—

p Hermione: Oh, hell. Let's just do this. grabs him around the neck and starts snogging with him

p Ron: Wow.

p Harry: And all I got was a lousy peck on the cheek? What a rip-off!

p ~Scene Five~

p The students are all outside, waiting for the delegations from Durmstrang.

p Ron: Can you hear something?

p Lee Jordan: The lake! Look at the lake!

p Harry: It's a mast!

p Ron: It's a bird!

p Hermione: It's a plane!

p Lee Jordan: No, it's Superman! everyone watches in awe as the Giant Squid, wearing the Superman costume, flies across the sky

p Lavender: Wow, those people from Durmstrang sure do look funny!

p ~Scene Six~

p Karkaroff is greeting Dumbledore after his ship and the Durmstrang delegation arrives.

p Karkaroff: Yo, Homey-D! What's been screwing you lately?

p Dumbledore: Oh, you know, the usual. A couple of cats, the occasional Transfiguration teacher…

p ~Scene Seven~

p They are at the Quidditch World Cup.

p Bagman: And now, without further ado, allow me to introduce…the Bulgarian National Team Mascots!

p A naked man runs out into the field, doing cartwheels

p Hermione: Ohmygawd, it's the streaker from the Wimbledon! He's hot!

p The man is escorted out by security

p Bagman: After that, umm, unexpected entertainment, to the real Bulgarian National Team Mascots!

p Another naked man runs out into the field, doing cartwheels

p Harry: What the---?

p Bagman: Ah, here he is now! Ladies and Gentlemen, Roman Krum, the Bulgarian Streaker!

p Krum: Dad???

p Ron: And that guy is different from the other guy…how?

p --Fin of chapter

p A/N: Sorry it was so short. More later!