Welcome back to 'Life Behind the Fantasy!' Continuing down the corridor...
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Beatrix: And now, continuing down the corridor-
Kuja: (Anyone else get a déjà vu?)
Beatrix: AHEM! Next down the corridor, we have 'Captain of the Knights of Pluto', Adelbert-
[At this point, the door behind her opens and Steiner walks out wearing a towel. A very small one.]
Beatrix: STEINER!?
Steiner: B-Beatrix! O.O!!
[Beatrix looks quickly away, and Kuja lowers the camera to Steiner's waist. When Beatrix notices, she yanks the camera back up to shoulder height before Kuja can blind any of the audience.]
Steiner: B-Beatrix! My apologies for appearing so indecent! I-I just dropped a coin, and it rolled under the door...so I came out to get it, but I didn't think-
Beatrix: Steiner, just...look, we came for an interview...? Just...pick up the coin or whatever it was you dropped, and then get dressed...then maybe we can chat, yeah?
Steiner: A-As you wish! I shall only be a minute!
[He bends down at an unfortunate angle. Beatrix looks hurriedly away again, trying not to laugh, and trying to stop Kuja from pointing the camera down again. Kuja is trying not to crack up on the spot, and giving Beatrix meaningful looks for her to get off the camera. Eventually Steiner straightens.]
Steiner: I shall make haste, Beatrix! Then I would be most honoured for you to interview me!
[Steiner runs back into the dressing room. The second the door closes, Beatrix and Kuja burst out laughing.]
Kuja: Oh gods...that towel...ahahaha!
Beatrix: And when he...bent down...*snorts and laughs harder*
Kuja: Pheeew...my turn now...
Beatrix: What? But I haven't-
Kuja: He wants YOU to interview him. *waggles eyebrows* We might as well interview someone else while we wait, eh? And then you get to, aha, "do" Steiner.
Beatrix: *sweatdrops* Deal.
[Kuja hands over the camera to Beatrix and smiles into the lens.]
Kuja: While we wait for Berty in there to get dressed, let's try someone else, hmm? So, who's behind door number 5...?
[Kuja runs down to the next door, and throws it open.]
Kuja: ZIDDY! Smile for the...camera?
Beatrix: What's up?
Kuja: Not there. *brightens* We'll just have to come back later. 'Cause if he thinks he's gonna get out of this, he's sadly mistaken. Well, we'll do the NEXT person then!
[As the camera moves towards the next door, kid's voices can be heard laughing, chattering, etc. When we get there, Kuja gently pushes the already ajar door open, and suddenly, everything goes quiet as about 20 small, bright eyes fall on Kuja and the camera. Kuja and Beatrix exchange glances, and Beatrix starts walking into the room.]
Beatrix: Hi there, sweeties! Is nice Mr Coral here? We want to talk to him about a very special talk we want him to help us with! Could you help us find him, huh?
[Silence.]
Kuja: *sigh* Let me.
[Kuja grabs one of the nearest kids by the T-shirt and lifts him a foot off the floor. All the kids scurry back a few inches, and the one currently suspended looks as if he's about to wet himself.]
Kuja: Alright you little brat, you've got 10 seconds to tell me where Amarant or Mr Coral or whatever you call him is, or else I'll tell the hungry bogeyman that lives under your bed that you've been bad and he'll come out and eat you. And you had BETTER not have a lisp.
[The kid points to the bathroom. Kuja grins insincerely and drops the kid, who runs crying out of the room. Kuja sits down on the couch to wait, and all the kids scramble to get to the other side of the room. Beatrix sits down next to him just as the bathroom door opens, and Amarant walks out.]
Amarant: Okay, let's hear more about Little Red Ridi- ...what's the matter, guys? *turns and sees Kuja and Beatrix* Lemme guess. Kuja's the reason why they're all scared? ...And where's Tommy gone?
Kuja: ^__^ Gone to find his mummy. Heh heh heh!
Amarant: *scowls* What the he- *remembers the kids* ...What did you DO?
Kuja: *looks innocent* Only asked where you were. Can we get an interview? It's for the end credits. And then Beatrix can take me away and all your little friends can, uh, breathe out and stop pis-
Amarant: Fine. Make it quick. I'm halfway through Little Red Riding Hood.
Kuja: *snickers* Okay then. *thumbs-up at camera* Amarant, you've been happily married for several years, and you have...how many children of your own?
Amarant: Five. The oldest one is 8 years old.
Kuja: Aha. You obviously have a greater love of children than I do. And you're also here with several children, is that right? And yet in the game, you seemed a cold hearted, selfish and above all, child hating bas-
Amarant: BAD MAN. Yeah. Dunno why they cast me like that. I've been told it's the hairstyle and my height that make me look sorta shady, and that they probably got me the part.
Kuja: *smirk* But I thought that you had hair implants put in at the request of the director? And that you're actually a very shorthaired blonde?
Amarant: Oh, and I suppose YOU don't dye YOUR hair at all, do you?
Kuja: ...Interview's over.
[As Kuja drags Beatrix laughing out of the room, all the kids run over to Amarant and start wailing. Just as Beatrix hands the camera over to Kuja, Steiner's door opens and he walks out, looking rather overdressed.]
Steiner: Beatrix! I am at last ready! I cannot apologise enough for keeping you waiting and putting you at such an inconvenience-
Beatrix: -___-;; Let's just do the interview, 'kay?
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What secrets will come out during Steiner's interview? Does Kuja really dye his hair? Did Tommy make it to the bathroom on time? All of the questions will (possibly) be answered in the next instalment of "Life behind the Fantasy"!
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Beatrix: And now, continuing down the corridor-
Kuja: (Anyone else get a déjà vu?)
Beatrix: AHEM! Next down the corridor, we have 'Captain of the Knights of Pluto', Adelbert-
[At this point, the door behind her opens and Steiner walks out wearing a towel. A very small one.]
Beatrix: STEINER!?
Steiner: B-Beatrix! O.O!!
[Beatrix looks quickly away, and Kuja lowers the camera to Steiner's waist. When Beatrix notices, she yanks the camera back up to shoulder height before Kuja can blind any of the audience.]
Steiner: B-Beatrix! My apologies for appearing so indecent! I-I just dropped a coin, and it rolled under the door...so I came out to get it, but I didn't think-
Beatrix: Steiner, just...look, we came for an interview...? Just...pick up the coin or whatever it was you dropped, and then get dressed...then maybe we can chat, yeah?
Steiner: A-As you wish! I shall only be a minute!
[He bends down at an unfortunate angle. Beatrix looks hurriedly away again, trying not to laugh, and trying to stop Kuja from pointing the camera down again. Kuja is trying not to crack up on the spot, and giving Beatrix meaningful looks for her to get off the camera. Eventually Steiner straightens.]
Steiner: I shall make haste, Beatrix! Then I would be most honoured for you to interview me!
[Steiner runs back into the dressing room. The second the door closes, Beatrix and Kuja burst out laughing.]
Kuja: Oh gods...that towel...ahahaha!
Beatrix: And when he...bent down...*snorts and laughs harder*
Kuja: Pheeew...my turn now...
Beatrix: What? But I haven't-
Kuja: He wants YOU to interview him. *waggles eyebrows* We might as well interview someone else while we wait, eh? And then you get to, aha, "do" Steiner.
Beatrix: *sweatdrops* Deal.
[Kuja hands over the camera to Beatrix and smiles into the lens.]
Kuja: While we wait for Berty in there to get dressed, let's try someone else, hmm? So, who's behind door number 5...?
[Kuja runs down to the next door, and throws it open.]
Kuja: ZIDDY! Smile for the...camera?
Beatrix: What's up?
Kuja: Not there. *brightens* We'll just have to come back later. 'Cause if he thinks he's gonna get out of this, he's sadly mistaken. Well, we'll do the NEXT person then!
[As the camera moves towards the next door, kid's voices can be heard laughing, chattering, etc. When we get there, Kuja gently pushes the already ajar door open, and suddenly, everything goes quiet as about 20 small, bright eyes fall on Kuja and the camera. Kuja and Beatrix exchange glances, and Beatrix starts walking into the room.]
Beatrix: Hi there, sweeties! Is nice Mr Coral here? We want to talk to him about a very special talk we want him to help us with! Could you help us find him, huh?
[Silence.]
Kuja: *sigh* Let me.
[Kuja grabs one of the nearest kids by the T-shirt and lifts him a foot off the floor. All the kids scurry back a few inches, and the one currently suspended looks as if he's about to wet himself.]
Kuja: Alright you little brat, you've got 10 seconds to tell me where Amarant or Mr Coral or whatever you call him is, or else I'll tell the hungry bogeyman that lives under your bed that you've been bad and he'll come out and eat you. And you had BETTER not have a lisp.
[The kid points to the bathroom. Kuja grins insincerely and drops the kid, who runs crying out of the room. Kuja sits down on the couch to wait, and all the kids scramble to get to the other side of the room. Beatrix sits down next to him just as the bathroom door opens, and Amarant walks out.]
Amarant: Okay, let's hear more about Little Red Ridi- ...what's the matter, guys? *turns and sees Kuja and Beatrix* Lemme guess. Kuja's the reason why they're all scared? ...And where's Tommy gone?
Kuja: ^__^ Gone to find his mummy. Heh heh heh!
Amarant: *scowls* What the he- *remembers the kids* ...What did you DO?
Kuja: *looks innocent* Only asked where you were. Can we get an interview? It's for the end credits. And then Beatrix can take me away and all your little friends can, uh, breathe out and stop pis-
Amarant: Fine. Make it quick. I'm halfway through Little Red Riding Hood.
Kuja: *snickers* Okay then. *thumbs-up at camera* Amarant, you've been happily married for several years, and you have...how many children of your own?
Amarant: Five. The oldest one is 8 years old.
Kuja: Aha. You obviously have a greater love of children than I do. And you're also here with several children, is that right? And yet in the game, you seemed a cold hearted, selfish and above all, child hating bas-
Amarant: BAD MAN. Yeah. Dunno why they cast me like that. I've been told it's the hairstyle and my height that make me look sorta shady, and that they probably got me the part.
Kuja: *smirk* But I thought that you had hair implants put in at the request of the director? And that you're actually a very shorthaired blonde?
Amarant: Oh, and I suppose YOU don't dye YOUR hair at all, do you?
Kuja: ...Interview's over.
[As Kuja drags Beatrix laughing out of the room, all the kids run over to Amarant and start wailing. Just as Beatrix hands the camera over to Kuja, Steiner's door opens and he walks out, looking rather overdressed.]
Steiner: Beatrix! I am at last ready! I cannot apologise enough for keeping you waiting and putting you at such an inconvenience-
Beatrix: -___-;; Let's just do the interview, 'kay?
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What secrets will come out during Steiner's interview? Does Kuja really dye his hair? Did Tommy make it to the bathroom on time? All of the questions will (possibly) be answered in the next instalment of "Life behind the Fantasy"!