In this chapter of "Life Behind the Fantasy", we find out what exactly
Beatrix has heard...and, of course, get more exclusive, behind the scenes,
(and most importantly, money-making) interviews!
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Kuja: Hear what? ¬__¬ Those voices in your head having another argument?
Beatrix: Hush!
[Somewhere down the hall, there's a guy's scream, followed by hysterical giggling. A few seconds later, Zidane hurtles down the corridor, wearing nothing but a towel, around his waist. He frantically pushes past Beatrix and Kuja, almost sending them flying (the camera view swerves at this point), runs into his dressing room, and then slams the door. Locks can be heard, uh, locking. Just as Beatrix and Kuja get to their feet, Garnet pushes past them and collides with the now shut door dressing room door. She giggles, and knocks on it lightly.]
Garnet: Zida-aaaaane! Let me iiiii-iiiiin!
Zidane: _ Leave me alone, you perv!
Garnet: Aww, c'mon! I know you love it, really!
Zidane: GO AWAY!
Garnet: ...Pfft. I'll be back!
[Garnet laughs, and skips back down the corridor, into her own dressing room. Beatrix and Kuja snicker and exchange glances.]
Beatrix: More interviewees! Let's start with Zidane!
[They start to walk back down to Zidane's dressing room.]
Kuja: *muttering* What's with all the guys running around with towels!?
Beatrix: *nudges him* Aww, you love it.
Kuja: *wrinkles his nose* Oh. Yes. Seeing Steiner and my cousin running round in towels REALLY turns me on.
Beatrix: Cousin? You mean Zidane? O.o I didn't know you were actually related!
Kuja: Trust me, B. There are many, MANY things you don't know.
[Beatrix pulls a face at Kuja, and knocks on the dressing room door.]
Zidane: GO AWAY! I'VE AL-
Beatrix: Zidane, it's Beatrix! Kuja's here too. Can we get an interview?
Zidane: ...Is she gone?
Kuja: If "she" refers to Garnet, then yes, she's gone.
[The door opens a crack, and a small slit of Zidane's face becomes visible.]
Zidane: ...What did you say you two want?
Beatrix: *gestures at the camera* An interview. For the end credits.
Zidane: ...Alright. Just let me get dressed.
[Before Zidane can close and lock the door again, Kuja pushes it open, almost knocking out Zidane. He waltzes into the room and makes himself comfortable on the couch.]
Kuja: Don't bother, Ziddy. We can't be bothered to wait, and no one's gonna care anyway. Now, can we get an interview or not?
Zidane: I'm gonna get one even if I say 'no'. So I guess I may as well...
[Zidane pokes his head round the door, to make sure a certain person isn't stalking him again. He quickly pops his head back in and locks the door, and then sits at the dressing table, trying to tug the towel to reach a little further down his legs.]
Zidane: ...Okay.
Beatrix: Great! *turns to camera* We're now here in Zidane Tribal's dressing room. For the sake of decency, all filming will be done above shoulder height...I SAID, above shoulder height, Kuja!
Kuja: *moves camera upwards* Keh heh...
Beatrix: Now, Zidane. Can we see a twirl for proof that your tail's real?
Zidane: ...Uh...it isn't...!
Kuja: Beatrix, you mean you actually thought we had TAILS!? *busts up laughing*
Beatrix: Hey, shuddup! Okay, so I was wrong! I just figured with Freya not being in costume and all, maybe you two...ugh, forget it. Can we get back to the interview?
Zidane: *snickering* Sure, sure.
Beatrix: -__-;; Okay, good. So, would you mind explaining what on EARTH was going on a couple of minutes ago? You and the towel, and Garnet, etc?
Zidane: *sweatdrop* You got that on camera, huh? ...Well, the shower in my dressing room's broken...and the director said that I could use the one in HIS room, 'cause he'd be out smoothing the rough edges on the game or something. But when I came out...SHE was there. So I grabbed the nearest towel and RAN for it. And she starts running after me, and...well, you saw the rest.
Beatrix: Ah. I can see that you just made it out alive. So...we've had a tip off that Kuja dyes his hair. Can you confirm or deny this?
Kuja: HEY!
Zidane: ¬__¬ Consider it confirmed.
[At this point, Kuja dumps the camera, but it is left at an angle that we can still follow him around the room (although sideways). He runs into the bathroom before Zidane can climb over to stop him, and Kuja struts out brandishing bottles of hair dye.]
Kuja: HAH! *singsong voice* I knew it! I kne-ew it!
Zidane: -__-;; Pur-lease. It's not as if it's the only thing that runs in the family.
[Both Kuja and Zidane exchange cold looks before laughing. Kuja sits down and straightens the camera again.]
Beatrix: Sorry, did I miss something? What ELSE "runs in the family"?
Zidane: *amused* She doesn't know!?
Kuja: -__-;;Does no one tell you anything? You DO know I'm gay, right?
Beatrix: DUH.
Kuja: ...Go from there...?
Beatrix: I don't under... O.O;;; No way!
[Zidane and Kuja both do an "anime fall".]
Kuja: You think they'd let a STRAIGHT guy do some of the stuff this guy did?
Beatrix: ...Maybe? -___-;; Argh, okay, WHATEVER! Anything else I should know before I make an idiot out of myself? AGAIN?
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Is there anything else Zidane wants to own up to? (Or that Kuja'll own up to on Zidane's behalf...?) Find out in the next chapter!
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Kuja: Hear what? ¬__¬ Those voices in your head having another argument?
Beatrix: Hush!
[Somewhere down the hall, there's a guy's scream, followed by hysterical giggling. A few seconds later, Zidane hurtles down the corridor, wearing nothing but a towel, around his waist. He frantically pushes past Beatrix and Kuja, almost sending them flying (the camera view swerves at this point), runs into his dressing room, and then slams the door. Locks can be heard, uh, locking. Just as Beatrix and Kuja get to their feet, Garnet pushes past them and collides with the now shut door dressing room door. She giggles, and knocks on it lightly.]
Garnet: Zida-aaaaane! Let me iiiii-iiiiin!
Zidane: _ Leave me alone, you perv!
Garnet: Aww, c'mon! I know you love it, really!
Zidane: GO AWAY!
Garnet: ...Pfft. I'll be back!
[Garnet laughs, and skips back down the corridor, into her own dressing room. Beatrix and Kuja snicker and exchange glances.]
Beatrix: More interviewees! Let's start with Zidane!
[They start to walk back down to Zidane's dressing room.]
Kuja: *muttering* What's with all the guys running around with towels!?
Beatrix: *nudges him* Aww, you love it.
Kuja: *wrinkles his nose* Oh. Yes. Seeing Steiner and my cousin running round in towels REALLY turns me on.
Beatrix: Cousin? You mean Zidane? O.o I didn't know you were actually related!
Kuja: Trust me, B. There are many, MANY things you don't know.
[Beatrix pulls a face at Kuja, and knocks on the dressing room door.]
Zidane: GO AWAY! I'VE AL-
Beatrix: Zidane, it's Beatrix! Kuja's here too. Can we get an interview?
Zidane: ...Is she gone?
Kuja: If "she" refers to Garnet, then yes, she's gone.
[The door opens a crack, and a small slit of Zidane's face becomes visible.]
Zidane: ...What did you say you two want?
Beatrix: *gestures at the camera* An interview. For the end credits.
Zidane: ...Alright. Just let me get dressed.
[Before Zidane can close and lock the door again, Kuja pushes it open, almost knocking out Zidane. He waltzes into the room and makes himself comfortable on the couch.]
Kuja: Don't bother, Ziddy. We can't be bothered to wait, and no one's gonna care anyway. Now, can we get an interview or not?
Zidane: I'm gonna get one even if I say 'no'. So I guess I may as well...
[Zidane pokes his head round the door, to make sure a certain person isn't stalking him again. He quickly pops his head back in and locks the door, and then sits at the dressing table, trying to tug the towel to reach a little further down his legs.]
Zidane: ...Okay.
Beatrix: Great! *turns to camera* We're now here in Zidane Tribal's dressing room. For the sake of decency, all filming will be done above shoulder height...I SAID, above shoulder height, Kuja!
Kuja: *moves camera upwards* Keh heh...
Beatrix: Now, Zidane. Can we see a twirl for proof that your tail's real?
Zidane: ...Uh...it isn't...!
Kuja: Beatrix, you mean you actually thought we had TAILS!? *busts up laughing*
Beatrix: Hey, shuddup! Okay, so I was wrong! I just figured with Freya not being in costume and all, maybe you two...ugh, forget it. Can we get back to the interview?
Zidane: *snickering* Sure, sure.
Beatrix: -__-;; Okay, good. So, would you mind explaining what on EARTH was going on a couple of minutes ago? You and the towel, and Garnet, etc?
Zidane: *sweatdrop* You got that on camera, huh? ...Well, the shower in my dressing room's broken...and the director said that I could use the one in HIS room, 'cause he'd be out smoothing the rough edges on the game or something. But when I came out...SHE was there. So I grabbed the nearest towel and RAN for it. And she starts running after me, and...well, you saw the rest.
Beatrix: Ah. I can see that you just made it out alive. So...we've had a tip off that Kuja dyes his hair. Can you confirm or deny this?
Kuja: HEY!
Zidane: ¬__¬ Consider it confirmed.
[At this point, Kuja dumps the camera, but it is left at an angle that we can still follow him around the room (although sideways). He runs into the bathroom before Zidane can climb over to stop him, and Kuja struts out brandishing bottles of hair dye.]
Kuja: HAH! *singsong voice* I knew it! I kne-ew it!
Zidane: -__-;; Pur-lease. It's not as if it's the only thing that runs in the family.
[Both Kuja and Zidane exchange cold looks before laughing. Kuja sits down and straightens the camera again.]
Beatrix: Sorry, did I miss something? What ELSE "runs in the family"?
Zidane: *amused* She doesn't know!?
Kuja: -__-;;Does no one tell you anything? You DO know I'm gay, right?
Beatrix: DUH.
Kuja: ...Go from there...?
Beatrix: I don't under... O.O;;; No way!
[Zidane and Kuja both do an "anime fall".]
Kuja: You think they'd let a STRAIGHT guy do some of the stuff this guy did?
Beatrix: ...Maybe? -___-;; Argh, okay, WHATEVER! Anything else I should know before I make an idiot out of myself? AGAIN?
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Is there anything else Zidane wants to own up to? (Or that Kuja'll own up to on Zidane's behalf...?) Find out in the next chapter!