Chapter 5: As I Stare Into the Void

Anna stared at the open doorway. The door still swung back and forth in the breeze. Ash had been in too much of a hurry to shut it when she had stormed out only moments earlier.

The man in the other room stopped shaking enough to speak. "Anna?" he said, his voice quivering. He lowered his ski mask. "What?" He gestured at the door. "Who?"

Anna studied the man's face. She recognized him. What was his name? "Tom," she said, remembering. "Where's Maria?"

Tom looked down, the fear in his eyes turning to shame. "She died." He shook his head. "All this—Joining Permafrost—I was trying to protect her."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't. Before—"He choked up. "Before all this, I wanted to set a good example for her." Tom smiled weakly. "I guess I failed in every possible way."

"Maybe you did." Anna looked thoughtfully at him. "Where are you going?"

"Away. Probably should've done it a long time ago, but Maria never could have made the trip."

Anna offered Tom a hand to get up. "It's not much, but I have some extra food in the sledge. It's meant for emergencies. Like now." She paused, looking down briefly. "It's going to be tight, but hopefully it'll be enough to get you to Billings."

"Anna, I shot you. I don't deserve—"

"You made a mistake, Tom. It doesn't have to be your last one."

Anna got the supplies together for Tom, and set about looking for where Ash had run off to. When she reached the outside of the house, Ash was nowhere in sight. She scanned the vast, empty horizon, trying to see anything through the flurries of snow that were starting to fall. Nothing. Anna knew she had powers, but sparks, that woman was fast.

Anna looked down at the snow. At least Ash had made no effort to conceal her footprints. That said, she thought looking at the light, but intensifying snowfall. I need to be quick. For multiple reasons.

Anna grabbed the skis and followed the tracks, thanking her lucky stars that Ash had been in too much of a hurry to fetch her own pair. At least I have half a chance of catching up to her, Anna thought. Which may have been too optimistic. That woman had to have some kind of superspeed.

Hoping everything to the contrary, Anna skied out into the storm.

–

It took less time than Anna expected to find Ash. In her panic, Ash hadn't thought to make any effort at hiding her trail, which followed a straight line of deep bootprints through the flat, snowy plains.

Ash was huddled to the ground, and Anna could almost hear the faint sound of weeping as she approached. Hearing Anna's approach, Ash spun around and stood up.

Anna became suddenly aware of how tall Ash was. On their journey, Ash had either been sitting down or in a slouching position. Now, in her glory, Ash towered over her, six feet of pure muscle, her face haloed by a mane of poorly-combed black hair. Her eyes glowed with a gold light that seemed even colder than the wind around them.

"You are a fool," she said. Her tone was quiet and harsh, like shards of ice, in sharp contrast to the loud, joking voice she had used earlier. "Don't you realize that when someone runs away, they might not want people chasing after them?"

Anna took a deep breath, trying to force down the hairs that were creeping up on her skin. "This isn't a safe place to be," she said. "You nearly died once out here."

"Do you think I need some puny princess to tell me that?" Ash snarled.

"Clearly," Anna muttered before she could help herself. "Look, whatever you might have done in the past, there's still a way forward that doesn't involve-"

"Doesn't it occur to you that I might, just might, have been doing this to save your sorry ass?" She gave a low chuckle that held no humor. "It's hilarious. You and your aunt go through all this trouble of making me save you, and yet you throw it all away."

"Making you?" Anna said.

"Of course. Wouldn't expect a slontze like you to even notice. You made me like you. You made me risk my promise by being in the way of that gun. It's a shame. But I suppose even I can't save you from dying if it's-"She paused for dramatic effect. "Self-inflicted."

Anna backed away slowly. "W-what promise?"

"Of course. You wouldn't know. Your dear aunt came up to me in the middle of the night and," Ash gave a mirthless chuckle. "I'd say she tried to kill me but we both knew that was never going to happen. So she made me promise not to kill anyone instead. Like she could have any say in that." She shook her head. "Such hubris."

"But none of what I said had anything to do with protecting you from the consequences of your own actions. It's a pity you were-"

"Do it," Anna said, surprising even herself.

Ash looked taken aback. "I thought I was the suicidal one."

"You are fully capable of killing me. Before—before I can run away," she said. "You have—"Anna paused again, remembering how quickly Ash had fled from the dilapidated house. "You have made that abundantly clear. I would prefer my last moments not to be hearing you enjoying the sound of your own voice." A thought occurred to Anna. "If you're not stalling, that is."

"Presumptuousness. You inherited that from your aunt. Why on Earth do you think I'm not taking the exact amount of time I want to?"

Anna took a deep breath. She had said more than she ever thought she would say, but she had to press onward. It was far too late to die cowering. "I could be wrong. Calamity knows I've been wrong before. But either something in you still doesn't want to kill me, or-"

Ash clutched her chest. "Appealing to my humanity, are you? Didn't you know what I was from the second you rescued me?"

Anna pretended to ignore that and continued. "Or I'm honestly surprised you managed to kill anyone at all before you met me. Aunt Clara could have run away in the time you spent monologuing." Okay, that may have been too far. She was dead for sure, even if Ash had been stalling before.

"Insolence," Ash said. "I suppose I should kill you for that."

"Then why don't you?"

Ash stopped. "I don't know." She looked puzzled. "That's odd. I've never hesitated like this before."

Anna started to let out her breath. "I haven't known you long. But the person I've known you to be, the person you were before you saved me? That's the type of person who would hesitate."

There were tears in Ash's eyes now. "What if that person was a lie?"

"Then you are a far more dedicated actress than I took you for, to risk everything you are for a lie."

"And how would you have any idea what I'm sacrificing?"

Anna took a deep breath and gathered your thoughts. "I'm not saying I know. But the monster you claim to have always been would not have run away."

The faintest glimmer of an actual smile shone on Ash's face. "Maybe you do have a point." She sighed. "Though I'm not a hundred percent sure the lie I told was to you."

Anna looked up at Ash. She was different now. The terrifying force of nature of a few minutes ago was gone now. The eyes that had shone with golden fire were extinguished, ringed with the reddened skin of someone trying not to cry. She looked almost tired.

"I don't know who you were before," Anna said. "But there's a difference between lying to yourself and just changing. Sparks, I know I'm different from who I was even a few months ago. But we can learn from that person, even if we can't be them again." She met Ash's eyes. "And if we choose to, we can try to be someone even better."

"I don't know if Epics get that choice."

"For both our sakes, I hope you're wrong."

Anna thought she saw Ash tense up for the tiniest moment. "I don't think hope'll be enough to get me there."

"It's a good enough place to start," Anna said. A thought occurred to her. "You don't have to be that person you want to be, not on the first go. Just figure out what the first step in that direction will be."

"So, leave a place better than I found it, that's what you're saying?" Ash chuckled. "Worth a shot, I guess. State of the world right now, it's not exactly hard to do." She looked down, then looked into Anna's eyes. "Mind if I come back with you? I've got a lot to think about and I don't—I can't think about it alone."

Anna smiled. "I'd love that." She paused. "Hmm. I don't think Aunt Clara would be very happy to see you back. No offense."

"Yeah, we really didn't get off to a good start there."

Anna shook her head. "No kidding," she said. "You remember Dan, right? He was the guy who I was talking to on the radio when I found you."

Ash cocked her head. "You do realize I was unconscious then, right? Though you did mention him later, I guess. He's the other one who's in on your dumbass plan, right?"

Anna barely resisted the urge to glare at Ash. "Anyway, I'm sure he'll know what to do." She offered her hand to Ash. "Shall we?"

Ash took her hand, and they left.

–

Dan Whittaker couldn't think of a single thing that could ruin his day. He whistled to himself as he watered the aloes on his windowsill. He hadn't needed them for a while, but he liked the look of them. His house probably had some of the only green things left in this town. Dan shook his head. Anna was brilliant with all things mechanical, but last time she'd tried growing houseplants...

Dan smiled ruefully, putting his watering can down. Those pothos ivies never stood a chance.

He was knocked out of his thoughts by three loud, insistent knocks at the door. Anna? Though wasn't she supposed to be out on a run today? He hurried to the door. What if something had gone wrong?

He opened the door. In the doorway stood Anna and a tall, muscular, dark-haired woman he didn't recognize. "Did something happen?" He asked. "Who is that?"

"Remember the woman we found in the woods a few days ago? This is her."

The woman waved her hand. "Hi," she said.

"Her name is Ash, and I—we need your help with something."

Dan rubbed his temples. "Don't get me wrong, I'd be happy to help, but—Isn't your aunt the doctor?"

Anna sighed nervously. "That's the thing. It isn't exactly a medical problem."

Ash spoke up. "To be more specific, I'm an Epic, her aunt is rather justifiably nervous around me because of that fact, this slontze—"She jabbed her thumb at Anna. "Seems to think leaving me on my own right now is a bad idea, and thus we are currently endeavoring to find me somewhere to stay."Anna tensed up. "Sorry, was I being too blunt again?"

"A little bit," Anna squeaked.

"Sorry. Working on that."

Dan took a step back. "Wait, you're—And she's—And—" he said, his voice going up in pitch with each word.

"Yep, yep, and you didn't exactly finish that sentence," Ash said.

"Welcome?" Dan said hesitantly. "Anna," he hissed. "We need to talk. Privately."

"Yep," Ash said. "It was probably something I said." Anna put a hand up to her forehead.

"Dan, it's like ten out, at least let her come inside."

"Fine," Dan said. "We still need to talk about things before we do anything reckless." He looked up at Ash. "No offense." She didn't seem threatening right now, but Epics were dangerous. And Anna of all people should have known that.

Dan waved Ash in, and gestured towards the kitchen. "Make yourself at home, I guess?" He pointed to a room to the side he used as a workshop. "Anna and I are going to be over there. It'll be short, I promise."

As Dan shut the door behind them, he hissed at Anna. "What the sparks were you thinking? We have enough problems without another Epic in the mix."

"I'm sorry," Anna said. "You were the first person I could think of, and-"

"I don't care how friendly she's acting, Epics are dangerous people." Anna visibly deflated. "I'm sorry. That was unfair."

Anna waved her hand. "It's fine. I know what you meant." She sighed. "And you're right. She is one overuse of her powers away from causing us a lot of problems. Sparks, that nearly happened when we were out."

"I'm sensing a 'but'."

"Remember when I found her? She did that to herself, Dan."

"Oh," he said.

"I know this is probably a mistake, but I'm not going to leave her alone. Not until I know she's doing better."

"And you don't think this was some kind of trick."

"It was a million to one chance that I came by, and even then, she was nearly dead. I don't think she meant for anyone to find her."

"I didn't," said a voice from behind the door. Dan spun around and opened the door. "Sorry about eavesdropping," Ash said. "I get a bit curious when people are trying to decide my fate."

Dan tried to say "how long", but only a strangled squeak came out of his mouth.

"May have been a while. Again, sorry." She looked at Dan, who jumped back instinctively. "If it helps, there are at least half a dozen other towns within a week's walking distance that are, ummm..." Ash trailed off.

"That are what?"

Ash took in a large breath. "A bit, less," She waved her hand in the air, looking for the right word.

"How does that help, exactly?" Anna said, a bit annoyed. Dan cringed. Did Anna want to get herself killed?

"What I'm trying to say is that I have no interest in conquering this place. And honestly, kicking people when they're down's never really been my thing. Even when I was more, you know."

The worst part of that, to Dan, was that Ash seemed to genuinely be trying to be reassuring.

Anna pointed her thumb at Ash. "She saved my life."

Now that was concerning in an entirely different way. "Anna, what the sparks happened out there?"

Anna sighed. "It was Tom. He wanted to get out from working for Permafrost, and was, understandably, a bit trigger-happy."

"He shot her."

Anna glared at Ash. "I was getting to that."

"You got shot?" Dan half-shouted.

"She didn't, I did. I'm fast," Ash said.

Dan looked Ash up and down. "Clearly you got better. Anna, why did you think it was a good idea to bring an Epic here right after they used their powers?"

"It's been a few hours. I think she's over the worst of it."

"Right," Dan said, burying his face in his hands briefly before looking up at Ash. "I guess I should probably say thank you."

"I can't exactly get hurt. It's not as if I was in any danger."

"You were risking a lot more than that. Thank you."

Ash squirmed a bit, as if she didn't know how to respond to that. "It was impulsive. And kind of stupid."

"It saved my best friend's life." Dan turned to Anna. "Do you have a plan for setting up somewhere for her to stay? She can be here for a bit, but there's not a lot of space here."

"Not to mention you want to minimize the time spent with a ticking time bomb under your roof. I get it," Ash said.

"And that."

"I can work something out. There's a place near here that's pretty intact structurally, I'll just need to get some heating set up."

"Which you'll do carefully," Dan said.

"Of course," Anna said. "There's a wood stove there. Most of the work on my part will be making sure the chimney's clear enough."

Dan sighed in relief. "Don't worry about me, Dan. I'm fine."

"Now that's settled, there's another reason I came back here. Besides Anna being overprotective, that is."

"Dan, I told her about our plan. With Permafrost."

Dan froze. "Relax," Ash said. "I want to help."

Dan rubbed his temples. "Right. This might as well happen. How exactly are you going to help?"

"I'm not actually sure about that one."

"That sounds like something I'd like to discuss tomorrow. After I get the strongest drink I can find."

"Can I share it?" Ash asked. Dan took a step back. Was a drunk Epic really a good idea? "That was mostly a joke. Alcohol doesn't really work well on me anyway."

Dan sighed. This was going to be a long couple of days.