The movie finished, we headed off to my bedroom.

"Hey," Claudia said, picking up a lipstick from off my dressing table. "For old time's sake, let's do makeovers or something."

I grinned. "Not a bad idea."

"Okay, I do you first," she said.

I opened my mouth in mock horror. "Don't think you're going to cut _my_ hair!"

Claudia laughed and opened a fashion magazine. She showed me a page with BRIGHT blue eyeshadow smeared all over the model's lid. "I'm going to try this. What drawer is your eyeshadow in?"

I raised my eyebrows but hey, nothing wrong with a little change. "Um, top drawer."

She opened it up and started rifling through it. Suddenly, she stopped.

"Find the eyeshadow?" I asked.

"Um, no," she said. "But I found something else."

I was genuinely puzzled. "What?"

She turned around, holding a wrapped condom. She threw it on my bed. "That," she said plainly.

"Oh, um, yeah..." I started.

She shook her head. "And you've been giving Kristy a hard time."

I was starting to get a little mad. Well, more than a little. "My sex life, Claudia, is none of your business."

"Whatever," she spat. "I don't care if you have sex. But I do care when you're treating Kristy like shit for doing something she's not supposed to do when you're off doing things _you're_ not supposed to do."

"There's a world of difference..." I stopped myself. "Well, actually there isn't."

"Exactly."

"I don't know Claud... Ethan, well, he wasn't a virgin when he met me..."

Claudia looked a little surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. Remember that time when we went to New York together, and there was that crazy chick who was stalking Ethan?"

"The one he dated before you?"

"Yeah, well, he's had sex with her. I mean, before he met me and stuff."

She sat down on the bed. "Wow."

"Yeah. But I only started having sex with him like, last month."

She furrowed her eyebrows thoughtfully. "How do you feel about it? I mean, what's changed since then?"

"Well, it hurt at first, and now it feels good but..." I closed my eyes. "Sometimes I feel like, obligated, to have sex. It's fun and all, but I feel like if I don't do it, I'm letting him down or something." To my surprise, I started to cry. "And well, every time we have sex, there's a part of me that feels so scared until I get my period." I sat down next to her on the bed and she put her arm around me.

"Does your mom know?" she asked.

"No."

"You should really tell her, Stace. You should like, get on the pill or something. I mean, it'll be hard to tell her and everything, but you really do need to go to the gyno."

"I can't imagine what she'd say. I'm only fourteen. I mean, Ethan's sixteen. There's a lot more sixteen-year-olds having sex than fourteen-year-olds. She'd probably be disappointed in me."

"Well," Claudia said thoughtfully. "I don't think she'd be surprised. I'm not trying to say that you're a slut or anything, but you have had an awful lot of boyfriends. The thought must have crossed her mind."

I lied down and sighed. "If I couldn't even tell you, Claud, how am I supposed to tell my mom?"

Claudia lied down next to me. "Stacey, were you really ready to have sex?"

I started crying again. "I don't know," I said through my tears. I wiped them with the back of my hand. "Damnit, why am I crying?"

"I don't know, Stace, I just don't know." She shook her head. "Anyway, are you _really_ mad at Kristy?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, she really feels kind of shitty about the whole thing."

I sighed. "I guess not. I guess I need to work through my own problems or whatever before I can even think of Kristy."

"Sorry, Stacey. I didn't mean to be insensitive."

"It's okay. Claud?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks so much for supporting me." I gave her a hug. "And I know I should tell my mother. I mean, we're close enough, but I don't think I'm ready to tell her. I just want it all to go away, you know?" I said, sitting up on my elbows.

"Have you told Ethan this?"

"No." I began to feel sort of bad. Here Claudia was, just going through a breakup, and I was making her counsel me on my own relationship problems.

"Anyway, Claudia; how are _you_ doing?"

"Huh?" She looked genuinely puzzled.

"I mean, the whole Alan thing," I clarified.

"Oh, that," she said. "Well, I _knew_ it was coming. It still hurts but..." She turned to face me. "You know what I'm talking about?"

I nodded. "I felt that way when I broke up with Jeremy."

"Jeremy." Claudia smiled wryly. "Now there was a disaster."

I grinned. "Yeah. I can't believe we let a boy come between us."

Claud and I began to rehash our boy histories. I started to feel like myself again.