Chapter Four

Invisibility and Ignorance

When I went inside of the room, Kouji was standing up, his hands in tight fists, so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

"Kouji…" I began walking towards him, but he also left the room.

I fell back on the bed, my hair falling down on the sides, completely hiding my face if anybody tried looking at me from the sides. Tears began to roll down my tanned cheeks, and I felt like my heart was ripping in shreds.

"Oh, God," I sobbed, digging my face into my hands. "I've turned two best friends against each other, because of me!"

I cried like that for hours, thinking that I shouldn't have gotten involved with either one of them in the first place, starting with that kiss Kouji mentioned earlier, that I still remember. And then, if I hadn't gone into Tasuki's room that one night and tell him how much I've loved him, again…

Thoughts like this practically tore me apart, until I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to run away from this place, but I had nowhere to go. I didn't know where Taiitsukun's mountains were, I didn't know how to get to Konan from here, so the only thing I decided I had to do was ignore Kouji and Tasuki.

My eyelids grew heavy, so I lied down on the bed. I always grew tired after I've been crying, so I closed my eyes, and began to fall asleep.

When I woke up, it was already dark. I looked out the window, and it looked maybe about seven o' clock.

I peered into a mirror Tasuki kept by his bed, and saw that my face was splotchy and red.

'What was I crying about?' I thought, feeling miserable. But then, I remembered. 'Oh, yeah… Kouji, and Tasuki.'

My stomach growled, and then I remembered the dinner that chef said he'd make me. So, I fixed up my hair, and headed towards the kitchen. The place was filled with the bandits, and luckily, Tasuki and Kouji weren't anywhere in sight.

But then again, that could've been a bad thing.

"Oh, so you're back again, young lady," I heard the chef say when I sat down at the counter.

"Oh, of course!" I smiled him, though still feeling miserable as I am. "You said you'll cook me a good dinner, and I didn't want to let you down by not showing up, so I did." Talking to the old man was making me feel better. He was very nice, and someone worth talking to. He was like a father, or grandfather, or something.

"Well, that's awfully nice of you. Your dinner will be ready soon," he disappeared somewhere in the back.

While I waited, I spun around in my chair and looked at everybody. They were happy. Drunk, but happy. I sighed.

'They have no idea what's going on,' I thought. 'But they shouldn't really care. They're bandits.'

"Miss, here's your dinner," I heard the chef say. I turned around, and looked down. The food looked absolutely delicious! It was barbecued beef with some sort of sweet and hot sauces on top with rice and vegetables.

"Looks so good!" I began to chow down, and the taste was incredible. It was my favorite food from then on. "Why are you being so nice to me, sir?" I asked after I finished eating it.

"Well, you look lonely because you're the only young lady around," he replied, glad that I enjoyed what he made for me.

"What should I call you, instead of 'sir'?" I watched as he took away my plate.

"My name's Jaiki."

"Mima."

He smiled at me. "Pretty name."

"Thank you." I noticed that he and I exchange a lot of smiles out of politeness. Then I noticed how gross I felt and I asked him where I could bathe.

"Oh, there's a bathing pool down to your right when you leave this room, then you go left, and straight head there's a door. Towels are kept in there, and the baths are in there, too."

"Arigatou." With my stomach full of food, I followed his directions. And, just as he said, there was that door. I stepped inside, and sure enough, the towel were on a table to my right, and straight ahead was a big pool of water, and then onto the sides were closed off pools with walls surrounding them.

I took a towel and headed towards one of the closed off areas. Making sure that nobody was watching me, I stripped down and slid into the water. The water wasn't cold, nor was it really hot, but it was warm enough, though I kept having chills.

I sighed. "Kouji and Tasuki are so confusing… they hate each other now because of me, and now I could tell I have to choose between them." My feelings were very strong for Tasuki, so I thought that I should choose him. But that means Tasuki has qualities that I love that Kouji would never have.

After being in the pool for a while, I wrapped myself in the towel and dried myself off. I thought about it for a while, remembering that if I never gotten involved with either of them, things would be much better. 'Then, maybe I should just act invisible and ignorant around them,' I thought, considering the idea that I thought was great. 'Yeah! Maybe that'll work.'

I got back in my clothes and returned to Tasuki's room. He was already sleeping like a baby, so I decided not to wkae him up.

'To ignore my feelings for Tasuki?' I kept thinking as I sat in the chair next to the bed. 'If I want peace, then I'll have to.' I sighed, but not even a minute later, I drifted off into a deep sleep.

~*Dream*~

I sat under a shady tree, sitting cross-legged as I asked Ikusa for some advice. She was chewing on a blade of grass, leaning against the tree, keeping her cool.

Ikusa was the person I always went to for advice. We weren't exactly sister-like, 'nor really great friends, just somebody I could talk about anything with. She was almost like a passerby in my group, but in so many ways, we were close. We hung out, of course, but never really made much contact during school at all. Ikusa was always 'too cool' for everybody, and everybody knew it. You'd have to go to a certain amount of extreme for her to compliment you. Some of the girls try to reach up to her expectations, but gave up. When I first came to the school, Ikusa was drawn to me, so she says. She also said that there was something more rebellious than she in me.

But Ikusa didn't boast, or gloat. She just kept to herself, once in awhile she opens up to us. She especially opened up to me. It's really hard to explain her, because she was so unpredictable.

"Tasuki and Kouji both love me, but I only love Tasuki. But to make things more complicated; I loved Kouji before I loved Tasuki! And Kouji had his eyes on me before Tasuki ever did," I explained. "They're going for each other's throats for me, and they're best friends! I do love Tasuki, but Kouji loves me. I don't want to ruin their friendship."

"So, what's the problem?" Ikusa smirked. "You've got two totally hot men, who's totally over our age, fighting over you. That's heaven."

I let out a sigh.

"Look," Ikusa said, seriously, "just disappear."

"Disappear?" I repeated, looking at her.

She didn't return my look, but just kept looking in the sky into oblivious, chewing on that blade of grass. "I said, 'disappear.' Like you disappeared from here." She finally looked at me with her left eye; the other one must have been closed. "If you love them both, be gone. Disappear." She closed her eyes.

~*Dream*~

I woke up, my body aching all over. 'Never sleep in a chair like that ever again,' I thought, bitterly.

My eyes darted around the room, when I spotted Tasuki standing, just staring out the window with a concern look. He didn't seem to notice that I woke up at all.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. He didn't even flinch.

"Ohayo," I said, angry that he didn't notice me at first.

"Ohayo," Tasuki said back.

'Damn it!' I cursed in my head. 'I need to do what Ikusa told me in the dream.'

"I overheard you and Kouji fighting!" I shouted. 'Damn, again!'

"I thought you did," Tasuki said, calmly. He didn't even bother to turn his head to take a look at me.

"I'm too much trouble. Maybe I don't belong here," I fiddled around with my tank top.

If Ikusa were here, she'd be beating me up later for not listening to her.

"You belong here," Tasuki insisted. "That's why Suzaku sent you here, isn't it? You're needed here, aren't you?" I could feel him looking at me, finally.

I looked up, and my feelings were true. He was looking at me. "I need some air," I got up from my seat and left the room. 'Damn it, damn it, damn it!' I thought, frustrated and angry.

My cursing in my head was interrupted when I realized I bumped into somebody.

"Oh, excuse me," I said, politely as I could. But when I looked up, I saw that it was Kouji who I bumped into. This time, I tried taking Ikusa's advice and ignored him, as I continued on to leave the Stronghold and into the forest to think.

"Mima," Kouji called, causing me to stop. "Remember our first kiss?"

I tried being rude and thoughtless. "So, what about that kiss? It's not like it…"

"I love you, Mima," Kouji interrupted.

When he said that, I walked faster and finally reached outside. I leaned against the wall, and pounded my fist against it.

"Kuso!" I screamed.