The Search
Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi shall always belong to Watase Yuu and her affiliates, and I'll always be a girl who sits and types fanfiction when she really should be doing homework. I don't own the Harry Potter quote that Mia says either.
Zettai Reido, THANK YOU! I really appreciate your reviews, they're great. I'm glad you like the story that much... I honestly think you're overstating my talents a little, but I try to be as good as I can. Of course Akira didn't just leave... well, he had to go home with his class, but he isn't not contacting Tobias for a reason, and it definitely isn't his choice. In fact, he's just as miserable as Tobias is, if not more so.
Tobias sat watching illusions of his memories. It was a habit of his, and one of the only ways he could escape his feelings. He saw again the first time he met Akira, and his costume which he had shown the boy. Tobias saw the time Akira had thought he was telling him to shut up, and the time they shared their memories.
Mia opened the door without even bothering to knock. She had given up, Tobias never answered. Upon seeing Tobias watching his shin (he had made one after he had remembered his power), and sighing softly, she spoke carefully.
"You can't live in memories," she said, shaking her head at her brother and giving him a patronising look. "Haven't you read the first Harry Potter book?" She put on a gruff voice that was meant to sound old and male but really sounded ridiculous. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
"Oh, shut up and go away. That's just a book anyway," Tobias yelled, throwing shin at Mia.
"Hey, I thought you loved this stupid clam," she said, pocketing it. "I think you'd better not use this thing. Maybe I can sell it to a weird stuff shop..."
"If you dare I'll get Ryuuen to punch you into a wall," said Tobias.
"Oh, isn't that sweet. You're getting your boyfriend to bash up your mean little sister," remarked Mia laughing. She wasn't being cruel, but simply making Tobias angry so he would get his mind off things.
"Mia, you're only ten minutes younger than me," Tobias sighed. Mia's teasing had no effect other than depressing him further.
"Nine and a half, actually," corrected Mia, sitting down. "Seriously, Tobias, you can't sit here and waste away. Either do something about it or give up and be as happy as you can with Ryuuen."
"Give up? How can I? Have you ever loved anyone, Mia?" asked Tobias angrily.
"Yup," Mia said in an infuriatingly complacent tone. "Remember?"
"Then -" Tobias started. "Oh... sorry."
"We've been over this and over this. Tobias, he's gone. He isn't coming back. He's not going to contact you. He's not going to mourn for you if you waste away in your room staring at a clam." Mia paused. "Ryuuen will. He cares for you. Seiryuu knows he would have dumped you ages ago if he didn't. He's sweet, nice and pretty much the perfect boyfriend for you," she finished.
"You don't understand, Mia. No one does. I am still in love with Akira. I've been in love with Akira ever since that first time he kissed me. I think... that I am never really going to be happy without Akira," said Tobias. He knew he should cry, but for some reason the tears didn't want to come.
"You are really, truly in love? Tobias, that *is* stupid," Mia stated. "Look, the guy hasn't spoken to you in half a year. Surely you can't still believe he cares for you?"
"I don't... I know he probably hates me. Like Ryuuen said, he's probably having a great laugh back at home. Laughing at the boy who couldn't stop crying when he said goodbye. Laughing at the boy who actually thought Nakago was capable of love. Laughing at the stupid, pathetic boy who sends him letters all the time, knowing deep down he'll never get a reply. But... I still love him," sighed Tobias. He was looking at his photograph again, and tears were threatening to spill.
"You mean that even if Akira hates you and was just playing around with your feelings, you still love him?" Mia asked incredulously. Tobias nodded, and his sister raised her eyebrows. "Tobias, you're as bad as Tomo was."
"What?" Tobias asked, his eyes snapping towards Mia. "I'm not like him, Mia! Just like you're not like Soi."
Mia rolled her eyes. "Look, Tobias, I wasn't saying you are. I said you're as bad as him. Remember, Tomo did what he though Nakago would want. Even though he knew Nakago was using him. He knew, but it didn't stop him. Tobias, he died because of that." Mia fixed Tobias with a piercing stare.
"He did. But... I'm not going to die," Tobias said. He had gone back to looking at the photo.
"You're just going to live like this forever, are you?" Mia asked. She sat down next to her brother. "Doing this... is not going to help. It's only going to hurt you and everyone around you." She passed Tobias a tissue from the box on his chest of drawers, and he wiped his eyes.
"It's already hurting me, Mia. It's hurting Ryuuen as well, and probably you. But... how can I forget?" Tobias asked. He sniffed loudly.
"To be blunt, Tobias, don't. Look, I didn't come here to just talk about this... what I wanted to say... I heard Mum and Dad talking last night..." started Mia.
"About?" inquired Tobias curiously, with an expression of slight interest.
"Uh... you," Mia admitted. "They... you know Mum, Tobias. She's a brilliant psychologist, and I've seen her analysing you more than once... she says... that you should uh... go to Japan."
"What?" Tobias cried. "Go to Japan? And what should I do there?"
"Don't play dumb, Tobias. You know what you are going to do there," Mia said seriously. "And... I... think it's the best idea I've heard for a long time."
"My own mother is going to send me off to Japan in the faint hope I'll crash into him in the street, is she? Does she have any idea how dangerous that is?" asked Tobias. He was no longer sad, but instead furious.
"Mum? I doubt it. She's off in her own little Liza Henderson world all the time. But I, being the wonderful and intelligent Mia Henderson who had both feet firmly on the ground, do. And I, of course, have a plan," Mia said. She spoiled the show of dramatics by snorting loudly with suppressed laughter.
"Mia, as an actor with an interest in the future of drama, I advise you to never act. Ever," Tobias said, laughing.
Mia giggled. "Well, I don't really want to, so don't worry. Anyway, I was thinking..." she whispered in Tobias' ear.
A few days later, after Tobias had clarified the idea with his parents, he sat by the phone.
"To call Ryuuen, or not to call Ryuuen?" he said to himself. "That is the *true* question."
At that moment, the phone rang. Tobias picked it up, trying to ignore the rising feeling he always got in such situations.
"Hello?" he said.
"Tobias?" a voice inquired from the other end. A very familiar, distinctly Japanese voice.
"What the hell?" Tobias asked incredulously. "Oh, funny joke Mia."
"Tobias, this isn't a joke," Akira's voice said. He was whispering, and it sounded like he was trying not to be heard.
Tobias felt like he was about to faint. "Then... why... oh Seiryuu."
"Look, Tobias, I'm sorry," Akira said frantically. "You have to know this..."
Tobias' complete disbelief was replaced by rage. "WHAT?" he yelled into the phone. "YOU'RE SORRY? I AM TOO! FOR EVER ACTUALLY CARING FOR A BASTARD LIKE YOU! YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO ME FOR SIX MONTHS! HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL?"
At his house, Akira could almost feel Tobias' ire. "I..." he said. He had expected Tobias to be angry, but not that angry.
"What? You don't understand? I didn't expect you to!" Tobias cried. He was a little calmer, but still hardly collected.
"I realise... I've hurt you, my Tobias," Akira said carefully. "But..."
"I don't belong to you!" Tobias said. "I have a boyfriend, Akira! One who's not going to pack up and then contact me six months later over the phone! Now excuse me, but I have to call him. Goodbye." Tobias slammed the phone down, then realised what he had just done.
"Oh crap..." he said, banging his head against the table.
Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi shall always belong to Watase Yuu and her affiliates, and I'll always be a girl who sits and types fanfiction when she really should be doing homework. I don't own the Harry Potter quote that Mia says either.
Zettai Reido, THANK YOU! I really appreciate your reviews, they're great. I'm glad you like the story that much... I honestly think you're overstating my talents a little, but I try to be as good as I can. Of course Akira didn't just leave... well, he had to go home with his class, but he isn't not contacting Tobias for a reason, and it definitely isn't his choice. In fact, he's just as miserable as Tobias is, if not more so.
Tobias sat watching illusions of his memories. It was a habit of his, and one of the only ways he could escape his feelings. He saw again the first time he met Akira, and his costume which he had shown the boy. Tobias saw the time Akira had thought he was telling him to shut up, and the time they shared their memories.
Mia opened the door without even bothering to knock. She had given up, Tobias never answered. Upon seeing Tobias watching his shin (he had made one after he had remembered his power), and sighing softly, she spoke carefully.
"You can't live in memories," she said, shaking her head at her brother and giving him a patronising look. "Haven't you read the first Harry Potter book?" She put on a gruff voice that was meant to sound old and male but really sounded ridiculous. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
"Oh, shut up and go away. That's just a book anyway," Tobias yelled, throwing shin at Mia.
"Hey, I thought you loved this stupid clam," she said, pocketing it. "I think you'd better not use this thing. Maybe I can sell it to a weird stuff shop..."
"If you dare I'll get Ryuuen to punch you into a wall," said Tobias.
"Oh, isn't that sweet. You're getting your boyfriend to bash up your mean little sister," remarked Mia laughing. She wasn't being cruel, but simply making Tobias angry so he would get his mind off things.
"Mia, you're only ten minutes younger than me," Tobias sighed. Mia's teasing had no effect other than depressing him further.
"Nine and a half, actually," corrected Mia, sitting down. "Seriously, Tobias, you can't sit here and waste away. Either do something about it or give up and be as happy as you can with Ryuuen."
"Give up? How can I? Have you ever loved anyone, Mia?" asked Tobias angrily.
"Yup," Mia said in an infuriatingly complacent tone. "Remember?"
"Then -" Tobias started. "Oh... sorry."
"We've been over this and over this. Tobias, he's gone. He isn't coming back. He's not going to contact you. He's not going to mourn for you if you waste away in your room staring at a clam." Mia paused. "Ryuuen will. He cares for you. Seiryuu knows he would have dumped you ages ago if he didn't. He's sweet, nice and pretty much the perfect boyfriend for you," she finished.
"You don't understand, Mia. No one does. I am still in love with Akira. I've been in love with Akira ever since that first time he kissed me. I think... that I am never really going to be happy without Akira," said Tobias. He knew he should cry, but for some reason the tears didn't want to come.
"You are really, truly in love? Tobias, that *is* stupid," Mia stated. "Look, the guy hasn't spoken to you in half a year. Surely you can't still believe he cares for you?"
"I don't... I know he probably hates me. Like Ryuuen said, he's probably having a great laugh back at home. Laughing at the boy who couldn't stop crying when he said goodbye. Laughing at the boy who actually thought Nakago was capable of love. Laughing at the stupid, pathetic boy who sends him letters all the time, knowing deep down he'll never get a reply. But... I still love him," sighed Tobias. He was looking at his photograph again, and tears were threatening to spill.
"You mean that even if Akira hates you and was just playing around with your feelings, you still love him?" Mia asked incredulously. Tobias nodded, and his sister raised her eyebrows. "Tobias, you're as bad as Tomo was."
"What?" Tobias asked, his eyes snapping towards Mia. "I'm not like him, Mia! Just like you're not like Soi."
Mia rolled her eyes. "Look, Tobias, I wasn't saying you are. I said you're as bad as him. Remember, Tomo did what he though Nakago would want. Even though he knew Nakago was using him. He knew, but it didn't stop him. Tobias, he died because of that." Mia fixed Tobias with a piercing stare.
"He did. But... I'm not going to die," Tobias said. He had gone back to looking at the photo.
"You're just going to live like this forever, are you?" Mia asked. She sat down next to her brother. "Doing this... is not going to help. It's only going to hurt you and everyone around you." She passed Tobias a tissue from the box on his chest of drawers, and he wiped his eyes.
"It's already hurting me, Mia. It's hurting Ryuuen as well, and probably you. But... how can I forget?" Tobias asked. He sniffed loudly.
"To be blunt, Tobias, don't. Look, I didn't come here to just talk about this... what I wanted to say... I heard Mum and Dad talking last night..." started Mia.
"About?" inquired Tobias curiously, with an expression of slight interest.
"Uh... you," Mia admitted. "They... you know Mum, Tobias. She's a brilliant psychologist, and I've seen her analysing you more than once... she says... that you should uh... go to Japan."
"What?" Tobias cried. "Go to Japan? And what should I do there?"
"Don't play dumb, Tobias. You know what you are going to do there," Mia said seriously. "And... I... think it's the best idea I've heard for a long time."
"My own mother is going to send me off to Japan in the faint hope I'll crash into him in the street, is she? Does she have any idea how dangerous that is?" asked Tobias. He was no longer sad, but instead furious.
"Mum? I doubt it. She's off in her own little Liza Henderson world all the time. But I, being the wonderful and intelligent Mia Henderson who had both feet firmly on the ground, do. And I, of course, have a plan," Mia said. She spoiled the show of dramatics by snorting loudly with suppressed laughter.
"Mia, as an actor with an interest in the future of drama, I advise you to never act. Ever," Tobias said, laughing.
Mia giggled. "Well, I don't really want to, so don't worry. Anyway, I was thinking..." she whispered in Tobias' ear.
A few days later, after Tobias had clarified the idea with his parents, he sat by the phone.
"To call Ryuuen, or not to call Ryuuen?" he said to himself. "That is the *true* question."
At that moment, the phone rang. Tobias picked it up, trying to ignore the rising feeling he always got in such situations.
"Hello?" he said.
"Tobias?" a voice inquired from the other end. A very familiar, distinctly Japanese voice.
"What the hell?" Tobias asked incredulously. "Oh, funny joke Mia."
"Tobias, this isn't a joke," Akira's voice said. He was whispering, and it sounded like he was trying not to be heard.
Tobias felt like he was about to faint. "Then... why... oh Seiryuu."
"Look, Tobias, I'm sorry," Akira said frantically. "You have to know this..."
Tobias' complete disbelief was replaced by rage. "WHAT?" he yelled into the phone. "YOU'RE SORRY? I AM TOO! FOR EVER ACTUALLY CARING FOR A BASTARD LIKE YOU! YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO ME FOR SIX MONTHS! HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL?"
At his house, Akira could almost feel Tobias' ire. "I..." he said. He had expected Tobias to be angry, but not that angry.
"What? You don't understand? I didn't expect you to!" Tobias cried. He was a little calmer, but still hardly collected.
"I realise... I've hurt you, my Tobias," Akira said carefully. "But..."
"I don't belong to you!" Tobias said. "I have a boyfriend, Akira! One who's not going to pack up and then contact me six months later over the phone! Now excuse me, but I have to call him. Goodbye." Tobias slammed the phone down, then realised what he had just done.
"Oh crap..." he said, banging his head against the table.