Author's Notes: See chapter one for disclaimer and explanation (but, I hope you haven't read this far and still need an explanation at this point).
Love, Life, and Death
By Annie-chan
Chapter Three: ProposalAh, spring. Hôjun lay in the sun in a grass field not too far from the village. He had been seventeen for two weeks now. Hikô had turned seventeen back in winter, and Kôran had turned sixteen about a month ago. They were adults now, and were treated as such, not like the happy-go-lucky children they had been. They still enjoyed a good time, but more of they're time was spent doing "adult things." Hôjun had been in his father's shop much more often, conducting business or carving out little wooden toys or hair ornaments. His father and older brother did most of the furniture, while he focused on the littler things. Hikô, the oldest boy in his family, had been using up most of his time in his father's blacksmith shop, for he would eventually take over the business himself. Finally, Kôran was mostly at home, learning how best to raise a family and be a good wife when she got married.
Married…Hôjun had been wanting for a long time to ask her to marry him, but the right time and place never seemed to come up. They had been lovers, more or less, for almost two years. More or less, because, even though they both knew that they each loved the other very much, they were both so shy about expressing their feelings outwardly that nobody but they knew that they were in love with each other.
Hôjun sighed and shaded his eyes from the sun as it came into his field of vision. He wanted the others to know, and he was sure Kôran did, too. They either just never got around to telling, or were attacked by shyness whenever they did. It was a problem, and he wanted it solved soon. Besides, if it wasn't, other young men in the village may start advancing on her; she was certainly beautiful enough to attract many suitors. She was just around Hôjun and Hikô more often than not, so other young men usually kept their distance. It was the same as if she had two protective older brothers; they just didn't want to take the chance of suddenly having two angry guys chasing them away from her. But, Hôjun knew that wouldn't keep them away forever.
His stomach growled. Time to get back, he thought. I'm hungry, and Tôsan and Niisan are expecting me to help with some chairs today. He got up and headed home, still wondering how and when to ask Kôran to marry him. And when that happened (If it ever does, he thought wryly), how and when would they break the news to everybody?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was the middle of summer, and the heat was nearing unbearable. It seemed warmer than usual this year, and Hôjun's absurd fringe of bangs was stuck to his forehead with sweat. He and his father and brother were just coming back from the forest, dragging fresh-cut wood back home. He did not look forward to chopping it into smaller, more manageable pieces when they got back home. They would of course take a short break when they got there, but that wouldn't help much.
Shikata ganai, he thought. We can't run out of wood to work with just because we don't want to get a little sweaty. He glanced balefully down at himself. He had left his tunic at home, and the shirt he wore was now dark with sweat. A little sweaty my ass, he thought with just a tad bit of annoyance. I'll need a bath after this. Otherwise, I'll stink like an overexerted horse.
There were a few hot springs and warm springs a little inside the forest to the west of Shôryû, on the opposite side of the town as the river. Hôjun always liked going there better than hauling water from the river and heating it over a fire to get it warm. No sense in doing all that when you can just take a fifteen-minute walk instead. Surprisingly enough, though, few of the townsfolk ever went there. Hôjun was happy about that. He'd rather take a bath alone and contemplate nature than to risk someone else seeking a clean skin blundering in and disturbing the quiet. Besides, Hôjun didn't even know if he'd be able to bring himself to go there at the same time a woman or girl was there, even if they were in different springs and several rocks separated them. He blushed a bit thinking about it, which was hardly noticeable, as his skin was already flushed from the heat.
They got the wood home, and Hôjun considered changing his clothes. He, after thirty seconds of thinking, decided not to. After all, he'd just get the second outfit as sweaty as this one chopping the wood, and his mother never liked extra laundry if it could be avoided. I guess I can stand a little discomfort, he thought. Then, he corrected himself: A little more discomfort.
It took nearly an hour to get all the wood chopped and put into place in back of the shop, and Hôjun was near exhausted by the time they finished. Yes, they took two breaks during the work, due to the heat, but he was still rather happy that it was finally over. It was getting near time that his mother would start cooking for the evening meal, and Hôjun needed to get that bath done beforehand so he would smell better than he was at the moment. His father and Taiyô were going to take baths as well, but they would do it with water taken from the Shôryû River, as most people in the village did. Hôjun, though, was going to head over to the hot springs.
I wonder why hardly anybody ever goes there, he thought absentmindedly. He had once asked if there was a specific reason why, but the only answer he got from everybody he asked seemed to be that they just didn't go there. He had also asked if it was dangerous or something, but, again, everybody he asked gave the same answer: no, they just didn't bother to walk into the woods just for a bath when they could get water from the river running right next to the town.
Oh well, he thought. Their loss. He helped put the tools they had used away, made sure he wasn't needed for anything else, and started off for the springs. The day was just beginning to cool off, but it was still rather warm. The summer birds were starting to quiet their songs, so silence was slowly creeping through the trees. As he made his way down the trail toward the springs, he spied a vixen darting through the underbrush, followed be three kits. She stopped and looked at him for a moment before disappearing into the bushes, her babies disappearing right after her. He never knew why, but animals never seemed frightened around him as they did around other humans. If he had been any other person, she probably would have fled as soon as she had seen him, instead of stopping to watch him as she did. Hôjun continued on.
He reached the spring grounds. There was one large one surrounded by several smaller ones, and a few had boulders in the middle, making for good places to lean up against. The largest one had a very large boulder in it, with three distinct sides to it. Hôjun walked over to this one, undressed,* and slipped in on one of the sides away from the trail. The water was deep enough there to come up to his mid-chest, and he decided just to let himself soak for a while, and let the warm water relax his tired muscles. The water was very soothing, and he soon felt himself begin to nod off. He was jerked back to full consciousness a few minutes later at the sound of someone getting in the water on one of the other sides of the large boulder.
*Tantalizing image, ne? ^_^
Kuso, he thought. There's someone else here. In the same spring, too! They must not have known I was here. He was about to speak out to let the newcomer know he was there, but stopped himself, blushing. What if it's a woman?! Oh, great Suzaku, please don't let it be!
His flustered thoughts were interrupted by a feminine voice sighing to no one in particular, "It's so quiet here." It was indeed a woman, but…
Kôran! His cheeks flamed bright red. He and the woman he loved, both without a stitch on their bodies, were separated only by the boulder in the middle of the spring. And, that boulder suddenly seemed so very small. A very naughty thought invaded his mind, but he managed to fling it out, slapping himself mentally. It was so very hard not to act on that thought, though…
Stop it! he ordered himself. You're not married! You're not even engaged! It wouldn't be right to do…that. His adolescent body begged rather strongly to differ. Hormones…it's only hormones, he thought, trying to keep control. His mind suddenly focused on one specific part of his thoughts. Engaged…oh, if only we were…Suzaku knows I want her to be mine! But, I told myself when I was younger I wouldn't do…that…until my wedding night! But now, I don't know if I can wait that long! It was a wonder his cheeks didn't burn right off. He was blushing so hard, and his body had warmed up substantially. It was a wonder the water around him, already hot, didn't start boiling right then and there.
He had been so trapped in his frantic thoughts, that he almost missed the sound of her getting out. She had apparently bathed quickly, for he heard her leave a few minutes later. Tremendous relief flooded his entire being. His tensed body relaxed, and he felt himself cool down again. He just sat there for a few more minutes, letting himself calm down. That was certainly unexpected, he thought with a wry grin. Looking at the sun, he noted that he should start back soon. He finished in the spring, dried himself with the towel he had brought, dressed,* and started back, his mind still cemented firmly on the girl who held his soul.
*Aww…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Summer was nearing its end for the year, and Hôjun still had yet to ask Kôran the question he so longed to ask her. He was starting to hate himself for holding off for so long. No too long ago, another young man named Unubore had been showing interest in Kôran—his Kôran! Hôjun was outraged, but knew not how to get his cocky peer away from her without either making a scene or getting Unubore to spread some rumor about him, Kôran, or both. Unubore had been one of the town bullies as a young boy, and though he had matured quite a bit, Hôjun doubted that he had lost all his bullyboy tendencies.
Kôran, thank Suzaku, had shown no interest toward Unubore. That wouldn't stop Hôjun's unwitting enemy, though. Nothing short of an embarrassing turndown or the fact that she was engaged to someone else would, probably. The former bully was known for grabbing hold of whatever he wanted and never letting go until he was forced in one way or another.
No matter what, Hôjun was feeling more pressed than ever to ask Kôran to marry him. Whether Unubore was after her or not, he wanted more than anything to ask her that simple question. Oh, Kôran, I love you with all my soul…
He had made his decision. Tomorrow. I'll ask her tomorrow. He got up and walked back toward the house. Butterflies of every shape, size, and type were having a late summer dance in his stomach.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The morning dawned bright and warm, probably one of the last mornings like this until next spring. Hôjun awoke, as usual, courtesy of Taiyô nearly knocking him out of bed in his sleep. He grumbled and shoved his brother over, giving himself more room. He had nearly fallen back asleep again when his eyes flew open at a sudden remembrance. Today was the day. The day he would ask Kôran to be his. He was immediately nervous. Getting up and dressing, he hoped that some breakfast would calm his nerves.
It did…sort of. He went about his morning chores mechanically, his mind on only one thing. He was exceedingly glad he did not see Kôran, for he didn't know what he'd do if he did. He ran into Hikô once, and the older boy seemed puzzled by the out-of-place nervousness in Hôjun. What did he have to be nervous about? It was a beautiful day, and nothing big was happening in the village until the Autumn Festival in two months.
Chores finished, Hôjun went about looking for Kôran. He probably wouldn't ask her right off, but he wanted to be with her at the moment. He wanted to be with her at every moment, but that was a little impossible, unfortunate as it may be. She was nowhere to be found in the village, but someone told him that they saw her heading into the forest to the northwest with a flower basket. He grinned. She wants to get some more of those late summer flowers before the wilt. She's always picking flowers between March and October.
He set off for the forest. If I know her, she'll probably be in that little clearing with all the pink flowers. She always liked those best.
He was right. There she was, kneeling in a patch of grass among the flowers, her face turned up to the sun that streamed through the leaves of the trees, her eyes closed against the bright light. Her basket was full of flowers, and she'd most likely be heading home soon. He walked up to her quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence of the forest, broken only by the soft whisper of the breeze and the chirping of a lone, but happy, bird not far away.
"Kôran?" he nearly whispered. "Are you awake?" Indeed, she looked like she had fallen asleep sitting up. She jumped minutely at his voice, turned her face toward him, and opened her eyes.
"Hôjun," she said with a smile. "I didn't know you were here. Sit down with me." She moved over a bit and he did. He took hold of her hand and kissed it reverently. She blushed and turned away, not meeting his loving gaze.
"Kôran," he said, "please don't be shy around me." Strange hearing himself say that, for he wasn't much better than her. "I love you. I'll always love you, no matter what happens to us." He took hold of her chin and gently turned her face toward him. To his surprise and dismay, he found tears threatening to spill over. "Kôran? What's wrong, Koibito?"
Her voice seemed close to breaking. "Oh, Hôjun, do you really mean that?"
He answered her with a kiss, soft and tentative, but still firm and definite. When he pulled back, he touched his forehead to hers. "Of course I mean that," he whispered. "I mean it with all my heart." As much as he loved her, he had never confessed like he had just then. It had all gone unsaid before.
Tears flowed with unchecked abandon down her smooth cheeks. She flung her arms around him and pulled him close, pressing her face against his sky blue hair. "Hôjun, I love you!" she sobbed joyfully. "You're my dearest treasure in this whole world! I…I…"
She trailed off, crying into his shoulder as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. Tears had made their way down his own face, and he suddenly felt no apprehension about what he meant to ask her. He gently pushed her back until he was looking straight into her beautiful violet eyes. His voice came out clear and full of the deepest love, shaking just the slightest bit.
"Kôran, marry me. I want you to be my wife. I think I have wanted it my entire life."
She had gone very still. Her eyes shone with adoration and her tears had stopped. "Hôjun, of course I'll marry you. I've been waiting for you to ask me since before I can remember." Her voice was soft, and he could read the emotions in it as if a scroll from one of the town's scholars lay open in front of him. He took her face in his hands and sealed their promise with a kiss, much deeper and loving than the last.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Just outside the clearing, the shadows concealing him from view, an aqua-haired young man stood with his back against a tree staring into the forest away from the two lovers in the flower patch. Tears marked his face as well, but out of grief and pain, not love and joy. Oh, great Suzaku, how long had they loved?! A long time it seemed. Gods, he had no idea! He thought them just friends, and now they were engaged to be married!
I should be happy for them, he thought, trying in vain to stop the flow of tears. They obviously love each other very much, and I have never said anything to her to let her know my feelings. The tears flowed harder. He had been walking back to town from getting some herbs in the wood for his mother and older sister when he heard their voices. He had meant to join them, but had stopped short when he heard exactly what they were talking about. Now his whole world seemed to be crashing down around him.
Kôran, Kôran! he thought desperately. You…you love him…Hôjun…oh, Suzaku, I never knew! Why…WHY, Suzaku?! Why must you be so cruel to me?! You are the God of Love…why must you take love away from me?! Why?! Why?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!
Bitter tears streaming down his cheeks, Hikô ran as fast as he could away from the clearing, crushing the small handful of herbs in his hand. Gods…oh, gods, Kôran! I love you! I love you! I have always loved you!
To be continued…Author's Notes: Yay! I'm done with this chapter! School's been on my back lately, and I'm getting ready for my SAT in June. I wasn't in school today, due to having a broken tooth extracted, allowing me to get on the ball and finish this chapter. There's an up side to everything, I guess. Please send any comments to mangareader@hotmail.com, onegai shimasu! I'd really like to hear from anybody who likes this story. If you're just going to flame me, don't bother…you'll just get a nasty e-mail right back.