( A TV turns on to show Bumlets standing in line at the distribution center waiting to buy his papes for the day…..Suddenly three girls come out of nowhere and grab him. They throw him in the back of a carriage and drive off. The TV turns off. Standing at the podium near the TV a girl with dirty blond hair shuffles a small pile of card in her hands and smiles)
Gears- Hello and welcome to Kidnapped newsie style! I am your host Gears. Now you have just witnessed Muffins Blush and Bug kidnapping Bumlets yesterday right out of the line at the distribution center. (grins evilly) Ladies why don't you bring him out..
(Muffins, blush and bug drag Bumlets out to the middle of the mini pit and strap him into an electric chair )
Gears- Wow he was much more co operative than spot was huh girls?
Muffins- yeah! He didn't even try to bite bug like spot did!
Bug- (rubs the bandage on her wrist) He drew blood!
Blush- at least I didn't have to use the tranquilizer gun this time!
Gears- (smiles) Well why don't we meet today's contestants trying to get Bumlets there his freedom back! From left to right we have Holiday, Braces and Blaze.
(three girls standing behind a big metal table wave franticly at Bumlets.)
Gears- alright girls this is how the game will work In this first round Ill ask you ten questions you must answer the questions correctly…..each question is worth 2 points when you get it right. When you get a question wrong one point will be subtracted from your score. You must have 8 or more points earn a key in this round or Ill let Muffins, Blush and Bug over there have some fun with him.
(Muffins Blush and bug turn the electric chair so that its facing away from the contestants.)
Gears- Alright girls we're going to a commercial and---
Bumlets- Excuse me? Um before ya do that can somebody give me my hat…I must have dropped it…..I really want my hat! If you give it back Ill cooperate fully I promise!
(everyone except Bumlets looks to Blaze who is wearing Bumlets hat and whistling like everything is normal.)
Gears- Blaze! Give the boy his hat back he is not chasing you for it! Not while he's strapped down!
Bumlets- I should have figured it would be her!
Blaze- Oh fine! Have it your way…Ill just steal it again later…
(Blaze reluctantly hands the hat over to Bug and is pouting….Bug walks back to bumlets and puts the hat on his head)
Bumlets- Thank you so much!
Gears- alright like I said stay tuned because after these messages from our sponsers we will return with round one of Kidnapped. So don't change that channel!
(gears stands at the podium shuffling her cards and humming to herself somewhat insanely.)
Gears- Welcome back now lets begin round one. Remember we are going to ask you 10 questions and you have to get em right. If ya do 2 points for you if not 1 point will be deducted from your score…you have to have eight or more points to win this round. If ya don't get eight points. I'm going to let muffins , blush and bug have a little bit of fun with bumlets and believe me it wont be fun….for bumlets anyway.
(Bumlets face drains of all color and the trio of newsie-nappers look on at the terrified boy in great amusement.)
Gears- Alright girls, last night our kidnappers found out that Bumlets has a very nice physique, To what does Bumlets attribute to most of his exercise?
Holiday and Braces in unison- (Looks at Blaze ) Running.
Gears- that is correct two points for your score.
Gears- We found out Bumlets like to hang from ceiling fans while they are on. We had Bumlets hang on our ceiling fan last night how Long do you think he stayed on before he got dizzy and fell off? A) 2 minutes B) 5 minutes or C) 20 minutes.
Holiday- Hmmm I think it was 5 minutes.. (Looks to the other two contestants.)
Braces- (shrugs) I could see him going on for 20...
Blaze- (Bite her bottom lip.) umm……Im going to have o go with 5 minutes…
Holiday - (shrugs) Majority rules I guess. We'll go with 5 minutes.
Gears (Looks at her cards) Oh! Im sorry ladies but it looks like braces there was right he hung in there for twenty minutes before falling off. That's one point deducted from your score.
(score board shows only one point)
Gears- Alrighty last night out team found out that Bumlets is a darn good dancer. Which dance number did he say most people liked him in?
All the girls- (Looks at each other) KONY!
Gears- that is right! Most people like the way Bumlets dances in KONY than in any other dance number.
(Two points are added to the score bringing it up to 3.)
Gears- We asked Bumlets which one of you is more likely to burst out into songs at random. Which one of you did he pin as the local songbird of you three?
Blaze- I just steal that hat I don't burst out into random song doing it…
Braces- Holiday…she's singing all the time! Day night! She sits outside his window for gods sake and sings….It has to be Holiday!
Gears- That is correct. According to Bumlets Holiday is the singer of the group.
(two points are added to their score giving them 5 points)
Gears- Last night we found out Bumlets has this irrational fear of failure so we managed to get ourselves a hold of a tape of him falling during a dance routine and played it over and over again for him. How many times did we show it before he turned it off? A) 2 B) 5 OR C)9
(The girls get into a huddle and talk amongst themselves for a few moments, before dispersing)
Blaze- we are gunna say 5 times.
Gears- Oh! Ouch! No he could only take it two times……Now that's gotta be some fear.
(one point is deducted from the score leaving them with 4 points now.)
Gears- As we all know Bumlets smokes, so we took away his cigarettes how long could Bumlets handle the nicotine cravings before begging the kidnappers to give him his cigarettes back. Was it A)10 minutes B) an hour C) an hour and a half/
Braces- Oh I know this one for sure its On hour exactly!
Gears- wow….that's correct…..how did you know?
Braces- I tried to get him to kick the habit a couple of times.
(2points is added to their score leaving them at 6 points.)
Gears- Last night we found three things Bumlets cherishes the most in his life. His stick, His hat and his cigarettes. We then informed him that he had to choose one item for us to destroy which Item did he give us?
Blaze- It had better not have been his hat.
Holiday- I doubt it was dear, calm down.
(the girls huddle and then break)
Braces- We are going to say his cigarettes.
Gears- that is correct bumlets let us destroy his last pack of cigarettes and hasn't smokes in over 9 hours.
(two points add to the score brining up to 8 points.)
Gears- Since Bumlets hasn't smoked in 9 hours how many times did he fidget with his hands until we brought him out? Was it A) 37 times B) 137 times or C) 300 times.
Holiday- (thinks and then whispers something at blaze and braces who nod their heads.) B one hundred and thirty seven times.
Gears- that's right. My you girls are certainly on the ball arnt you?
(two points are added bringing them up to 10 points)
Gears- true or false Bumlets one day aspires to be a porn star?
All the girls- False! False! (all of them are also thinking: Although it wouldn't be all that bad if he was…)
Gears- (laughs so hard she falls on the floor, quickly gets up) Um ladies that answer is wrong Bumlets does in fact want to be a porn star.
(One point is deducted leaving them with 9 points.)
Gears- Alright we asked Bumlets to rate his skills as a swordsman…….what did he rank himself as on a scale of one to ten?
Blaze- Well he is pretty full of himself so……..ten.
Gears- wow that's right…
(two points are added to the score making it 11 points)
Gears- Now we move on to the last portion of round one called screw your friends…(sees the overjoyed looks on Holiday, Blaze and Braces faces and shakes her head) Ok let me clarify….we offered bumlets something and told him if he took it he would automatically cost you two points from your score. Lets see now we offered Bumlets a restraining order to for blaze to stay a hundred feet away from him and his cap for a whole two months. Did he take it?
Holiday and Braces- (are about to say yes when they are cut off)
Blaze- He wouldnt do that to me!!!!!!! He likes it I swear!!!!! He didn't take it! (starts hyperventilating)
Gears- (raises her eyebrows) alright well lets see the video huh?
(tv shows Bumlets sitting in the middle of the room)
Bumlets- Im not taking the Restraining order. Mainly because I don't want to lose two points and end up being tortured…..knowing my luck that would be what happens if I did so…yeah Im not taking it.
(TV turns off)
Blaze- (starts dancing around out of joy and merriment)
Gears- Wow girls with the two points you earned from that your score comes to thirteen points more than enough to get you a key. Which would you like One two or three?
Holiday- we want three.
Gears (sticks the key to the table and walks back to her podium) Well that's all for round one….So far Bumlets is safe and the team earned a key, how long can it stay that way? Coming up after the break is round two. So don't go away.
( Gears shuffles her cards once more and smiles evilly)
Gears- welcome back this is the beginning of round two. In round two I will give Bumlets a category then he will name one of you to answer a question from that category. For every question one of you answers wrong Bumlets will have to eat a hissing Cockroach and one point will be deducted from your score . For every question you answer correctly you will get 2 points. You must get 12 points to win a key. You have sixty seconds to answer as many questions as you can correctly. Are you girls ready?
(Blaze, Holiday and Braces nod and Look down into our mini pit where Bumlets is being turned to face the girls.)
Gears- alright start the clock (the large clock on the wall starts) Alright first category. Famous people.
Bumlets- Braces
Gears- He was a famous Roman Emperor that also has a salad named after him.
Braces- Julius Cesar!
(2 points appear on the board)
Gears- (Looks at bumlets) Music
Bumlets- Holiday
Gears-(looks at holiday) He is the weird al of country music? Who is he?
Holiday- Weird who? Oh hell I don't know!
(One point is taken away leaving one point)
(Down in the mini pit Blush holds a canister of giant hissing cockroaches in front of bumlets as he reaches in and quickly pops one in his mouth. Chewing quickly and looking as if he is going to lose his lunch at any moment)
Gears- Hats
Bumlets- (trying not to gag) Blaze
Gears- This hat is generally worn on occasions that call for semi formal dress or by those of wealth.
Blaze- Top hats!
(the score is brought up to three points)
Gears- Disney
Bumlets- Whats disney….um/….Holiday!
Gears- He is Mickey Mouse's pet dog. Whats his name?
Holiday- Pluto
( the score is brought up to 5 points)
Gears- Fine Arts
Bumlets- Braces
Gears- who painted the….(gets cut off by the a beep) Oh dear it seems that that is the end on round two…..Im sorry girls but you only have 5 points and you needed at least twelve for the key…And since you failed this round Bumlets gets tortured.
(Bumlets Pales considerably as he is unstraped from the electric chair By Muffins and Bug))
Gears- When we where interrogating Bumlets we found out that he often has nightmares about Toby the Candy Butcher, Or Toby as most everyone else knows him. It seems that our friend bumlets cant even stand to be in the same room with him without having something close to an anxiety attack. So We contacted Toby last night and he is now waiting in a small room backstage. Bumlets will have to sit in there with him for 20 minutes. Have fun Bumlets. (waves to bumlets)
Bumlets- (struggles as he's being dragged into the small back room) No! No! please anything but! No!
(Muffins and Bug shove Bumlets into the back room and lock the door then take seats in the hallway just outside the door.)
Gears (smiles politely to everyone else as bumlets screams and pounds on the door can be heard in the background) When we return we will begin round three so don't change that channel!
( a very shaken Bumlets is escorted out of the back room.)
Gears- (watches as bumlets is strapped back into his chair, then turns around to the contestants.) Alright welcome to the third round of our lovely little game show! This is what we like to call our self sacrifice round…This mean one of you (points to braces holiday and blaze) will be chosen to do a torturous act in order to receive a key.
(Bumlets is unstrapped from his chair once again and taken to a giant wheel and strapped onto it. Bug straps a helmet on Bumlets that has a radio antenna sticking out of the top of it. All the girls names are on the wheel at different points.)
Gears- Alright girls give him a spin.
(A much to eager Blush runs up and spins the wheel. After a few moments Bumlets the wheel stops.)
Gears- (peers over at bumlets than back at the girls) Congratulations Blaze! You are today's lucky victim!!!! Now you have an option to not do this or you can do this and save bumlets here another torture session and actually get another key. What will it be.
Blaze- (swallows a lump in her thraot and Looks at poor terrified Bumlets and then back to gears) I'll do it.
Gears- Excellent, Muffins why don't you tell our contestant here what she's gotta do.
Muffins - (Come out pushing a giant glass coffin) My pleasure gears. (stops and pats the coffin) You my dear Blaze are going to Lay in this coffin and allow us to cover you in snakes. You must lay in there for at least 5 minutes. (open the lid of the coffin and hands Blaze some goggles)
Blaze- (slowly gets into the coffin putting on the goggles at she does so and lays down) Lets just get this over with!
Muffins- (Retrieves a giant bucket and pours in the snakes. And repeats this 4 times.)
Gears- alright lets start the clock (5 minutes is set on the clock)
(4 minutes remaining)
Blaze- These snakes are looking at me funny!
(3 minutes left)
Blaze- Oh mother of Bumlets! One just went up my pants leg!!!!
(2 minutes remain)
Blaze- (hyperventilates)
Muffins- I wouldn't do that…they may bite you…
(1 minute remaining)
Blaze- Idont like snakes!! I don't like snakes!!! Eep!
(30 seconds to go)
Blaze- (Franticly eyes the boa constrictor that has made itself comparable around her throat) Help me.
(Buzzer goes off and a couple of burly guys come out and begin to take the snakes out. After 6 minutes all the snakes are gone and blaze is still laying in the bottom of the coffin in a state similar to shock.)
Gears- (walks over to the Coffin and kicks the side) yo blaze..wakey wakey……..hello?…..(Looks to Bug who is standing by bumlets) Hey bug throw me his H-A-T would ya?
(Bug throws bumlets hat over to gears who waves in front of Blazes face. Suddenly blaze sits up and lunges for the hat as gears pulled it away and tossed it back to bug who put it back on Bumlets head.)
Gears (Looks at Blaze who is scrambling out of the coffin) well she's alive….alright you took it for 5 minutes so which key do ya want one or two?
Blaze- (Looks at the keys) two.
Gears - alright. (hands key two to Muffins who gets key three from the table and makes her way to the door to Bumlets' cage) Ladies well this is do or die…If one of your keys opens the door to his cage then you guys are off to have the time of your lives! If not well I don't want to think about what you guys are gunna go through. Muffins……
Muffins-(stands at the door and slides Key Number three through the Lock of the door as confetti reigns down and the door swings open. Bumlets who has been unstrapped from his chair runs out and tackles the nearest contestant which was braces hugging her) Darn it and I was hoping we could torture the whole lot of em!
Gears- Well this rounds up this episode of Kidnapped Newsie style today's winners receive a week on an exclusive Island resort in the Bahamas. Thank you and join us next time! On Kidnapped newsie style!