CHAPTER TWO: THE NIGHTMARE OF THE ALCOHOLIC ORANGE JUICE
Raoul stared down at his letter. He read it aloud. "Dear Mantrap? It would seem Monsieur Firmin has mistaken me for Monsieur Andre. He looked up from his letter, and then poured himself some orange juice in to a shot glass. "Yum yum. I don't know what my mother and father saw in alcohol." He quickly sucked down the juice. The patron's eyes widened. "OK.no more juice tonight." He put down the glass and looked back at the letter. Raoul sighed. No one ever sent him mail, except for Christine on certain occasions. He flicked through his two remaining letters. "Junior maths club invitation . . . interesting . . ." He laid the letter down to the table beside him, then looked at the final letter. "Fop Brain?" His smile faded when he noticed the red ink on the note. Raoul grabbed his letter opener and attempted to spin it around, only to see it spin out of his hand and slam straight in to a rat. Raoul jumped and cried like a school girl. "Ew! Get it away! Ew ew eeeeew!" He hopped on to his chair and covered his eyes from the dead rat. This went on for several minutes.
"Dearest Andre, you simply must take a look at this dreadful letter from the Opera Ghost." The two managers, Monsieur Andre and Monsieur Firmin sat, at different ends of a coffee table in their small, and though it makes me shudder to say it, cosy (shudders) office. "My Dear Firmin, please read it to me." Andre smiled and began to speak.
THE LETTER
Dear Andre,
Rehearsals seem to be going well. This is glad to see. I am sure that the crowd will love the love story of Figaro. I believe Mozart and I have a lot in common. But to be honest, the author and I cannot be bothered to go in to matters such as those.
THE INTERRUPTION OF THE LETTER
Andre paused. "Monsieur Firmin, who is this 'author' fellow? One of our Phantom's friends?" Firmin just made a strange motion with his hands and uttered "please carry on."
THE CONTINUATION OF THE LETTER
As I have assumed, the lead role of Susanna, maid to Countess Almaviva, will be played by Christine Daaé. As for that.thing, Carlotta, she may play a slightly minor role. I am thinking along the lines of shall we say Peasant Girl 1? Use who you want to play Figaro, that is not a concern to me. One last thing Monsieur's, I await my salary. Your confirmation letter shall be sent by post. By the way, on a personal note to yourself and Monsieur Firmin, I was watching you for a few minutes while the last rehearsal was taking place. And may I say you thoroughly sicken me.
Your Obedient Servant, O.G.
THE END OF THE LETTER AND THE CONTINUATION OF THE STORY
Andre tucked the letter in to a draw on the old chestnut drawer labelled 'Friendly Neighbourhood Opera Ghost.' The drawer was crammed with letters from the Phantom, from the very early days of the Opera House's former owner, Monsieur Lefèvre. "Well Firmin, what do you say to that?" The two managers took two huge breaths, and began to launch in to a musical number:
FIRMIN: Dear Andre what a splend-
(He is elbowed by ANDRE)
Andre: Wrong number you naughty little man
(FIRMIN raises an eyebrow)
FIRMIN: It's really not amusing! ANDRE: I don't think I like your tone!
FIRMIN: And in addition you start shouting!
BOTH: Don't make me get all angry on your arse!
(They attacked each other and begin rolling around on the floor in a vicious catfight)
Suddenly, Raoul burst in through the door to the shock of seeing the two managers, rolling around on the floor together. For a minute he was sure he saw a smile on each of their faces. Then they noticed Raoul's presence. Immediately they both jumped up from the floor. Andre straightened his tie quickly and Firmin brushed himself down thoroughly. "M-m-monsieur Changy!" stuttered Firmin. "What a pleasant surprise!" said Andre, showing extremely over-exaggerated happiness to the fop. There was a silence for a moment or two, during which Raoul combed his hair in the mirror. The sound was then broken by the annoyingly high voice of Raoul. "Please don't stop" he said brightly. "Don't let me spoil your fun!" Firmin looked down at his shoes and Andre turned away, embarrassed. "So.monsieur what exactly is it that you would like?" Raoul smiled. "Its quite silly really, I was hoping you could tell me what this word meant." He pointed down to the letter he had received earlier. "You mean hermit?" Andre asked. "No.that one." Firmin peered over to look at the paper. "You mean ignorant?" Raoul smiled weakly. "No.that one." and together the managers said to a musical tone:
BOTH: Stupid ugly muff head smelly little strange rotten screwed up FOP!
RAOUL: Who sent this beastly letter?
BOTH: Take a guess!
RAOUL: No I really couldn't
BOTH: Take a guess
RAOUL: Madame Firmin? Madame Andre?
BOTH: No you stupid patron fop its signed O.G!
RAOUL: Ooble Gooble?
BOTH: (frustrated) No no no no no it was the GHOST!
Raoul stared down at his letter. He read it aloud. "Dear Mantrap? It would seem Monsieur Firmin has mistaken me for Monsieur Andre. He looked up from his letter, and then poured himself some orange juice in to a shot glass. "Yum yum. I don't know what my mother and father saw in alcohol." He quickly sucked down the juice. The patron's eyes widened. "OK.no more juice tonight." He put down the glass and looked back at the letter. Raoul sighed. No one ever sent him mail, except for Christine on certain occasions. He flicked through his two remaining letters. "Junior maths club invitation . . . interesting . . ." He laid the letter down to the table beside him, then looked at the final letter. "Fop Brain?" His smile faded when he noticed the red ink on the note. Raoul grabbed his letter opener and attempted to spin it around, only to see it spin out of his hand and slam straight in to a rat. Raoul jumped and cried like a school girl. "Ew! Get it away! Ew ew eeeeew!" He hopped on to his chair and covered his eyes from the dead rat. This went on for several minutes.
"Dearest Andre, you simply must take a look at this dreadful letter from the Opera Ghost." The two managers, Monsieur Andre and Monsieur Firmin sat, at different ends of a coffee table in their small, and though it makes me shudder to say it, cosy (shudders) office. "My Dear Firmin, please read it to me." Andre smiled and began to speak.
THE LETTER
Dear Andre,
Rehearsals seem to be going well. This is glad to see. I am sure that the crowd will love the love story of Figaro. I believe Mozart and I have a lot in common. But to be honest, the author and I cannot be bothered to go in to matters such as those.
THE INTERRUPTION OF THE LETTER
Andre paused. "Monsieur Firmin, who is this 'author' fellow? One of our Phantom's friends?" Firmin just made a strange motion with his hands and uttered "please carry on."
THE CONTINUATION OF THE LETTER
As I have assumed, the lead role of Susanna, maid to Countess Almaviva, will be played by Christine Daaé. As for that.thing, Carlotta, she may play a slightly minor role. I am thinking along the lines of shall we say Peasant Girl 1? Use who you want to play Figaro, that is not a concern to me. One last thing Monsieur's, I await my salary. Your confirmation letter shall be sent by post. By the way, on a personal note to yourself and Monsieur Firmin, I was watching you for a few minutes while the last rehearsal was taking place. And may I say you thoroughly sicken me.
Your Obedient Servant, O.G.
THE END OF THE LETTER AND THE CONTINUATION OF THE STORY
Andre tucked the letter in to a draw on the old chestnut drawer labelled 'Friendly Neighbourhood Opera Ghost.' The drawer was crammed with letters from the Phantom, from the very early days of the Opera House's former owner, Monsieur Lefèvre. "Well Firmin, what do you say to that?" The two managers took two huge breaths, and began to launch in to a musical number:
FIRMIN: Dear Andre what a splend-
(He is elbowed by ANDRE)
Andre: Wrong number you naughty little man
(FIRMIN raises an eyebrow)
FIRMIN: It's really not amusing! ANDRE: I don't think I like your tone!
FIRMIN: And in addition you start shouting!
BOTH: Don't make me get all angry on your arse!
(They attacked each other and begin rolling around on the floor in a vicious catfight)
Suddenly, Raoul burst in through the door to the shock of seeing the two managers, rolling around on the floor together. For a minute he was sure he saw a smile on each of their faces. Then they noticed Raoul's presence. Immediately they both jumped up from the floor. Andre straightened his tie quickly and Firmin brushed himself down thoroughly. "M-m-monsieur Changy!" stuttered Firmin. "What a pleasant surprise!" said Andre, showing extremely over-exaggerated happiness to the fop. There was a silence for a moment or two, during which Raoul combed his hair in the mirror. The sound was then broken by the annoyingly high voice of Raoul. "Please don't stop" he said brightly. "Don't let me spoil your fun!" Firmin looked down at his shoes and Andre turned away, embarrassed. "So.monsieur what exactly is it that you would like?" Raoul smiled. "Its quite silly really, I was hoping you could tell me what this word meant." He pointed down to the letter he had received earlier. "You mean hermit?" Andre asked. "No.that one." Firmin peered over to look at the paper. "You mean ignorant?" Raoul smiled weakly. "No.that one." and together the managers said to a musical tone:
BOTH: Stupid ugly muff head smelly little strange rotten screwed up FOP!
RAOUL: Who sent this beastly letter?
BOTH: Take a guess!
RAOUL: No I really couldn't
BOTH: Take a guess
RAOUL: Madame Firmin? Madame Andre?
BOTH: No you stupid patron fop its signed O.G!
RAOUL: Ooble Gooble?
BOTH: (frustrated) No no no no no it was the GHOST!