Chapter 11
Serene had not been expecting to find Sylvana on the floor when she returned. There was a sense of deep inner sorrow, but at least the rage had subsided drastically. Serene took a step forward and then spoke.
"Sylvie? What's the matter?" Sylvana started and then looked up at the girl, putting on a warm smile, but the tear tracks were still visible on her fair skin.
"Nothing…nothing at all," replied Sylvana in one of those voices that adults used when they were trying to sound happy for the sake of a child. She wiped away the tears as best she could, but her eyes remained slightly red, from weeping no doubt, "Everything's fine." Sylvana pushed herself up and sat on the sofa. Serene was surprised at how tired her Sylvie looked all of a sudden. She hopped up on the sofa next to Sylvana and gave her a look that said all too plainly, 'I won't let you lie to me anymore.'
"What's wrong, Sylvana?" Serene said in what she hoped was a firm voice. Sylvana started, Serene never used her whole name like that. She looked at the small child…six summers, that was all she was, and yet…Sylvana felt she couldn't keep her façade in place any longer and it came crashing down.
"Something…terrible…has happened, sylph," she said…It had been a while since Sylvana had used that particular nickname, "and…someone…someone has died…" Tears began to trickle their way down Sylvana's cheeks again, and she wiped them away impatiently. She was angry at herself for acting weak like this in front of Serene, but how could she act strong when she felt as though all her strength was gone? drained away with her tears, or sucked dry by that…that human? Serene's crystal blue eyes were now as wide as saucers it seemed.
"Who?" she asked, barely above a whisper, "who died?" Sylvana looked at her hopelessly, unable to speak his name. The girl grabbed Sylvana's arm.
"I-it wasn't one of y-your sisters?" she stammered fearfully, "or - or your brother?" Her voice sounded so small all of a sudden. Sylvana shook her head no.
"Who!?" cried Serene, "who was it?!" Now there was a note of hysteria in her small voice. There were a lot of people she cared about and Sylvana knew that she feared losing them, any of them. She'd lost her mother, just as Sylvana had, and Sylvana knew that the little seraph had sworn an oath to the very gods that she'd never lose anyone else ever again. Sylvana's lips moved, but at first, no sound came out.
"Adriel," she finally managed to get out, though barely audible, but then her voice grew stronger, "Adriel…it was Adriel…he died…" Serene seemed to fall back into the cushions, disbelief written on her young face.
"How?" she whispered.
"He was killed…murdered…"
"No! By…by who?"
"Dilandau ordered it…I'm certain of it…" Serene shook her head in disbelief. She too had loved Adriel. As an older brother? As a father figure, maybe? It didn't matter, he'd been someone she'd often confided in.
"No," she whispered, tears now showing in her own eyes, "Why? It's not fair!!!" She then collapsed into Sylvana's arms and wept as well. No longer able to hold back her own tears, Sylvana let hers flow again as well. And so, the two wept together, each comforting the other in a way. On the balcony railing, Anya perched. She too wept for Adriel; tears like liquid diamonds as she sang his soul to the Havens as was customary for her kind when in mourning.
Sylvana felt lost in the world. She had no idea of who or what she was any more. She felt as though everything she was had drained away with her tears. Her strength was gone and she found that she was not even able to push herself out of bed anymore. Anya was understanding and watched over Serene for her. The little one commonly curled up with Sylvana for the majority of the day, but sometimes could be coaxed out of their apartments by Anya; not so with Sylvana. Every now and then she'd contemplate ways of dealing with Dilandau, but could never bring herself to put any of these plans in motion. She was also quite aware of just how pathetic she was being, but for the time, she felt pathetic, she felt like nothing, just an empty shell of what she'd once been.
*******
Dilandau hadn't been sleeping well, not since his confrontation with that woman. He'd been having dreams…every night, dreams which he would wake up from drenched in an icy sweat, yet which he could not remember, except for a voice which continued to repeat the same message over and over like a chant. At first he couldn't make out what was being said, but four words now echoed in his mind…
'Beware the darkness within…' Was that what the voice from his dreams had been saying? Why would it be saying something such as that? Where did it come from and what did it mean? Did it have something to do with that Laicar…again? He wouldn't be surprised. Strange things had been happening ever since he'd brought her to the Vione. What did it all mean?
Chapter 12
Serene gazed over the railing down to the level below her and Anya. She could sense the firebird's steady gaze on her, never once wavering. She found herself once more contemplating Adriel's death. Had Dilandau really and truly ordered his death? After he'd promised to spare him? Anya had said that she wouldn't put it past him, but Serene felt something deep within that told her otherwise. She couldn't explain it, but it still remained, and oh how she longed to know just what it meant. Perhaps she should ask someone when they returned home…and she had little doubt that they would…soon…that they'd leave this gloomy place devoid of sun and warmth and beauty, that they'd return to colour and happiness and life. She took a moment to wonder if this was what the Hells were like; a world vast and empty, with no sunlight or colour or happiness, no laughter, no mirth. She wondered, for she was certain that no place could be worst than this.
Her mind turned to Sylvana. Although today was one of those days where someone was to visit, she had remained in bed. Serene thought that the young woman seemed empty and lost. Her life was gone, her shimmer, her sparkle, it was no longer there. All that remained was the emptiness of her sorrow and the fire of her rage; though the former seemed to be smothering the latter. She knew, though, that Sylvana's visitors would snap her out of it and make her see straight…they always seemed to be able to…
*******
Sylvana lay on her back gazing blindly up at the ceiling. She felt completely devoid of life and energy. She had for over a week, ever since she'd learned about Adriel. For a good amount of time, her anger had kept her going, but now it was quickly fading and now she was tempted to just give it all up and to stop her fighting entirely. She was contemplating this when the door opened. Surprised, Sylvana sat bolt upright on the sofa just as her sisters entered.
"Shadow? Myrage?" she cried, even more surprised, "You're here!"
"Yes, we are," replied Shadow.
"You sound surprised, you knew someone was supposed to come today, didn't you, Sylve?" added Myrage.
"Oh, that's right," said Sylvana with a sigh. "The days have almost begun to blur together it seems…" She pressed a hand to her forehead and then pushed herself to her feet.
"Oh, Sylvana," said Myrage, "you look like hell…"
"Why thank you, Myrage…I love you too," replied Sylvana dryly. Shadow was also gazing at Myrage with an unimpressed look on her face. Sylvana sniffed and turned her back to her sisters.
"Sylvana, we brought you a message. Ice-Moon asked us to bring it to you when we came…"
"A message?" Sylvana turned back around to face her sisters.
"Yes…here," Myrage handed Sylvana a small folded up piece of parchment. Sylvana took it and unfolded it…
"What does it say?" asked Shadow when she saw her sister's silvery brows knit. Sylvana handed the paper to her sister
"Beware the darkness within?" Shadow said in a quizzical voice.
"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Myrage.
"Bast is sending me a message. About a week ago…Dilandau confronted me about my stubborn refusal to help his slayers and…"She paused and lowered her head.
"And?" pressed Shadow. Sylvana looked up at her sisters again, her eyes showing a hardness neither of them had ever seen there before.
"And, I nearly killed him," she stated coldly…matter-of-factly, as though talking about a stroll through the woods.
*******
Sylvana had come within inches of killing Dilandau. The captain hadn't said so…of course he hadn't…that would have been a great blow to his pride. However, after his last confrontation with the young woman, he hadn't even mentioned her, let alone gone to drag her out of her apartments, even though she still refused to follow any kind of orders. All the dragon slayers had suspected that something had happened, and Serene had confirmed it when she had confided in Viole what exactly had happened. Viole was beginning to get an ever-growing feeling that they had all vastly underestimated the young woman. Even though, he wasn't given to believing in such superstitions as magic…or religion even…(why would only certain people be blessed with magical gifts? What kind of god would allow so much suffering in the world?) he was beginning to suspect that maybe there really was more to her than they had first believed. He was beginning to wonder if they had only seen a small, delicate young woman where there was really a strong young huntress…or possibly warrioress with courage to equal or maybe even surpass any or theirs. Maybe, just maybe, she was even the enchantress she claimed herself to be. Maybe it was time he and the others started believing in more than that which they could only see and touch.
*******
Sylvana looked at the pale faces of her sisters.
"How could you be so matter-of-fact about something like that?" asked Myrage in a soft voice, "it makes my blood run cold." Sylvana turned away from her sisters and wandered over to the balcony and leaned against the railing as she gazed down at the distant land far below.
"That message was sent by Bast to remind me of her words when I had my dagger held at Dilandau's throat. If she hadn't been there…"
"You would have killed him." stated Shadow, "You would have given into that darkness that you fear…"
"Yes, well…the point is I didn't," replied Sylvana turning back to her sisters and leaning her back against the railing and regarding them calmly, the hardness still in her eyes.
"But if Bast hadn't -"
"Stop!" interrupted Sylvana sharply, "It no longer matters. I didn't surrender to that evil part of my spirit. Bast was there watching over me as she always has, guiding me as she has since the death of my mother. She was there to stop me from making a terrible mistake…and she succeeded." Both sisters exchanged glances and then sighed and seemed to deflate. There was truth in what Sylvana said. She didn't give into her dark tendencies; she stopped herself. It no longer mattered.
"It's getting late," commented Shadow several hours later, "I think we'd better be going…"
"Yes," agreed Sylvana. The two stood, but Sylvana remained in her place with her back resting against the balcony railing. She had sat with her sisters a while, but after two or three hours had returned to her place there.
"We'll see you soon," stated Myrage in a reassuring voice.
"Take care, Sylvana," said Shadow and then in a slightly lower voice, "and beware the darkness within…" Sylvana had to smile at that. Shadow was not being nagging, she was teasing and being serious at the same time in a way only she could.
"Clear skies, fair winds," replied Sylvana in the traditional farewell of Clan Falcon. In truth, most of the flighted clans had similar greetings, but each was unique in one way or another. In that way the sisters parted again. Sylvana felt a little lighter of heart than she had been in a while. The sorrow and anger were still there, but as long as she was not thrown into another confrontation with the captain of the dragon slayers then she was certain that all would be well as could be expected.
Chapter 13
When Dilandau and his men returned from their latest campaign, Sylvana felt her heart lurch like it never had any time previously…
"Oh Gods" she whispered, feeling her stomach churn in response to the emotions of the young men. Obviously, something had gone terribly wrong. She wasn't sure exactly what it was, but the emotions that were flying around were of an intensity she'd never picked up from these young men until now. They had a way of suppressing their emotions quite well. She resisted the urge to pace, instead grabbing a book from her shelf and settling herself on the sofa. Whatever it was, she'd know soon enough.
She had no idea how much time had passed before her door flew open.
"What's wrong?" she asked in a flat tone without looking up from her book.
"We need your healing skills," said Viole's voice.
"You all know I don't do that any longer," she stated coolly and then glancing up saw the barely conscious young man leaning nearly all his weight on two other slayers. There was a deep, weeping gash in his side. She quickly stood.
"Lay him on the sofa," she directed in an authoritative, though not exactly commanding voice. The young men hesitated, not used to taking orders from anyone besides Dilandau, let alone a woman. "Hurry up!" she commanded in a sharp voice. Finally they seemed to wake up and dragged the injured youth to her sofa to lay him there.
"Give me space," she directed and the young men, four of them not including the one who was wounded, moved back toward the door. She approached the youth and stood over him a moment taking in his condition. She heard the others behind her shift, undoubtedly wondering just what she was waiting for. She ignored them, however, this was more important. After a good minute or so, she reached out a hand, palm down, and closing her eyes, swept her hand just above his body, reading his aura, searching for any wounds or other damage other than the main obvious one. After five minutes and not finding anything else, she laid her hand over the wound, focusing the greater amount of her energy into healing it. She willed the blood to cease flowing and the flesh to knit back together, but it was taking longer that she'd first expected. The wound was deeper that she'd first anticipated, which meant that she was pouring in more energy than she'd originally expected and she could feel it…
*******
Dilandau entered Sylvana's apartments just as she straightened up. She looked at him coolly, irritation written all over her face.
"He'll be fine after at least half a week of rest," she informed the four dragon slayers before turning her attention to their captain, "Dilandau, what do you want now?" she demanded, sounding exasperated, but not angry.
"I want you to heal the others who were injured…"
"No," said Sylvana firmly without a hint of anger or sharpness.
"What?" demanded Dilandau clearly shocked as well as angry.
"They can wait…they'll have to wait…" she stated.
"You will do it now," growled Dilandau.
"No…I won't," replied Sylvana, still with an air of calm.
"How dare you oppose me…in front of my men! Do as I command!' He was furious.
"I won't!" she snapped back, her voice rising...and then in a softer, weaker voice…"I - I can't" The last of her strength finally gave out with that weak statement and her knees buckled. Viole was quick and grabbed her before she could hit the floor. He swept her up off her feet just as she slipped into unconscious. He shivered as he held her.
"She's ice cold," he commented in nearly a whisper.
"What do you think you are doing?" Dilandau demanded of Viole.
"Whatever she did to heal him obviously weakened her; she's unconscious. There isn't anyway she can heal anyone else today…" Then as an afterthought, "sir."
"What!?" growled Dilandau.
"He's right, Lord Dilandau," piped up another of his men.
"What did you say?!"
"Look at her! She saved Chesta's life while risking her own. You can't possibly expect her
to-"
"Enough!" yelled Dilandau, "I won't tolerate insubordination in my dragon slayers! You will do as I command and when I'm done with her, so will she, regardless of how much energy she uses while healing. Now, you two, take Chesta to the infirmary to recover. As for you…" He turned his attention back to Viole, "You will be severely disciplined later. Put her down and then get out!"
"Yes, sir," came the chorus of replies. Viole's voice, however, was not among them. He laid the young Laicar woman on her bed and then left with the others. When they were gone, Dilandau wandered over to Sylvana's bed, still unconvinced that she had truly collapsed. However, even under his long scrutiny, she didn't stir. Finally, with a growl from under his breath, he himself left her apartments.
Chapter 14
For at least three days, Sylvana slept, not waking even once. Anya kept her wise, gentle eyes on Serene during this time, knowing that with the power came a price, and Sylvana was paying it. Healing another took a great toll on her body, draining her life energy until she was just barely alive. Normally this drain would naturally cease if she came too near the brink of death, but if the need was great enough, and her will was strong enough, she could prevent this cut off. However, the price for doing this was the ultimate one…death. For three days, Sylvana never stirred once, almost seeming dead. Her skin was icy cold and she was as pale as a ghost. She didn't once move as she lay there and more than once Serene had come close to flying into hysterics, believing her young guardian to have finally given up on life, but Anya had every time, calmly and patiently reassured the child that Sylvana still had life in her, and indeed was far too stubborn to let herself die in such a way. Still, this did not prevent little Serene from weeping at night until sleep wrapped her in its soothing embrace.
A week passed for Sylvana without any coming to her apartments. However, one morning, Dilandau barged into her room, mere minutes after she had dressed. She was still weary from healing Chesta. In truth, she longed to remain a-bed longer, but thought it better to get up in order to regain her strength. She had just settled herself in her chair when the door flew open and in walked Dilandau, of course.
"Well, you are finally up and about, I see…good, I still have men who are in need of healing…" Sylvana looked at him calmly, a wan look still in her expression. She stood slowly, making her appear almost regal, although it was in fact due to her lingering weakness.
"Listen to me and listen well, I am not one of your servants and neither am I one of your soldiers for you to order about. I am still too weak to heal and only I can know when I'll be ready to, so leave me alone, Dilandau. You cannot bully me into doing your bidding as you can your slayers, so go…just go…" Fury flashed across the captain's face. How dare she oppose him like this again, especially when she was obviously weakened and was no match for him. He remained silent as he glowered at her. He was so tired of this. No girl was going to defy him. No girl was going to insight disloyalty in his men. Even though it had been over half a year he again made that resolve that he would break her. He had thought he had after she had experienced that mild emotional break down, but here she was just as adamant as ever despite her obvious weakness. This time, however, she was not showing any sign of anger. She was calm and relaxed and she spoke in a calm matter-of-fact tone, rather than a sharp tone like she'd used before.
"Look," she continued, "I can't help it if I can do nothing. If I heal any serious or life threatening wounds then I will die; I can't help that. Healing takes energy directly from my life force. Where did you think it came from? If I were in a vale then I could tap into the nexus it's built around, but there aren't any here. There isn't anything I can do…" Was she explaining…herself to him? That was a change. He still growled and remained unyielding. What the hell was he supposed to do then? She dropped back down into the chair with a sigh and closed her eyes.
"Are any of your men dying at the moment, Dilandau?" she asked.
"No, but -"
"Then you don't need me. I'm only obliged as a healer if someone is dying as in the case of…Chesta was it? As a healer, when someone is dying then I am compelled to heal. It is something that is without prejudice, even if they are my enemy, but you said yourself that your men will recover on their own and so you do not need me now, and I will not help them…cannot help them in this state of weakness." She opened her eyes again. She looked so tired. "Please, just leave, Dilandau, and don't bother me again…" Now she was sounding as though she considered herself of a higher rank than he. He tensed with indignance.
"Are you presuming to order me around?" he demanded.
'Why not?' she thought to herself, 'you do it to me often enough…' "No," she replied in a wan voice, "I just want some time alone. I need to rest. I'm tired…" Her pale silvery eyes bored into his. He stood there a good long while until she appeared to be ignoring him. This was humiliating and that only served to make his blood boil all the more. Finally, unable to take it any longer, he marched over to her chair and, bracing himself on the chair's arms, leaned forward until his face was mere inches from her own. She gazed back at him calmly and arched a graceful silver eyebrow.
"I'm not about to let some woman oppose my word," barked the captain, "you will do as I say or I will find a way to make you…"
"Are you threatening me?" Sylvana asked in a steady voice.
"What do you think?"
"I think not," she replied, her gaze holding steady, "If you harm me I swear to you that someone will make you regret it, and I assure you that is not a threat but a promise…" Dilandau let a sound escape his throat that resembled a cross between a growl and a laugh.
"If you mean your guide, she doesn't scare me…" Sylvana shrugged
"That is not my concern and thus not my problem…" she replied still not flinching away from his cruel gaze, but meeting it with steady pale green eyes, which close up almost resembled shards of green glass…or perhaps green ice. He felt the urge to slap that confident look off her delicate and beautiful face as he would one of his men, but resisted it. She was still a force to be reckoned with, especially when angry and hitting her had definitely not helped matters the last time…
"Dilandau, give up," she said in a tone of one who was giving advise, "I'll never submit to you…so just…forget about it. Go back to your loyal men and stop trying to force me to do your bidding or you'll just continue to humiliate yourself in front of your men. Just give up. Leave it alone." Dilandau straightened up quickly at these words and he felt himself flush with white hot anger. How dare she! He was about to strike her when movement near the back of the room near the door to the sleeping area distracted him. Standing there watching them was Sylvana's little girl. Serene also looked calm as she stood there, one hand on the doorframe. How much had she over heard?"
"Dilandau," she said in that sweet little voice, "why won't you leave Sylvie alone?" Dilandau stiffened at these words, "Why do you want to make Sylvie sad?" she then added. Sad? The child stepped from the doorframe into the room, those innocent sapphire eyes trained on the captain. Dilandau didn't like Serene, he'd only seen her once or twice since his very first meeting with Sylvana, but even so there was something about the child that made him feel odd and he did not like it.
"Serene," said Sylvana, "go back into the other room and talk to Anya, this doesn't concern you…"
"No," replied the child in a surprisingly calm tone, no whiny or defiant tone in it at all, "I want to stay here with you…" Sylvana looked away from Dilandau to the tiny girl.
"Please, Serene…" The little girl didn't react at all, but she had a very resolute look on her youthful face, one that almost couldn't be argued with…
"I think you should go," Sylvana said to Dilandau, rising to her feet, though she was no where near as tall as he. He crossed his arms looking as though he was prepared to be as stubborn as she, but the steady sapphirine gaze of that little girl seemed to make him feel cold inside, almost as though he was recalling some emotion from his lost and forgotten childhood. Serene was now leaning against Sylvana and clinging to her skirt a little, looking up at the captain. The feeling she gave him was eerie and emotions, not exactly strong, but a definite echo from his lost past began to rise up…fear accompanied by nausea…those were the strongest feelings, but also a memory of happiness and contentment. The cold empty feeling grew. It had to be that child!
"This isn't finished," Dilandau snarled finally, and stalked out, not wanting to make it obvious that he was only leaving to escape those nagging memories of old emotions lost, and the cold emptiness that he could feel deep inside, almost like an ache of an old, long healed wound.
*******
Sylvana stood a few moments longer after Dilandau left and then sank into her chair and, resting her elbow on the chair arm, dropped her forehead into her hand. It was really beginning to wear on her, every last little thing. The magical shields protecting her mind from the everyday buzz of emotions constantly flying about the flying fortress were beginning to weaken and were threatening to crumble. She found that she was getting the worst kind of headaches once or twice a week and it seemed that she could never get enough sleep. Serene approached Sylvana and laid her hands on her guardian's free arm.
"You're not all right, are you, Sylvie?" she asked in a small voice.
"I've been better," the elder girl replied.
"Why can't we leave, Sylvie? Why can't we go home and see Shadow, Myrage, Sylvan…and all the others?" Sylvana lifted her head and looked at the little girl standing before her, "Let's go home, Sylvie, let's." the little one pleaded.
"I'm afraid we can't, little fox; we don't have the means. Yes, I can fly, but you, my lamb, cannot…" her voice trailed off.
"Oh…" replied Serene, looking crushed, "is it my fault that you don't escape, then? Are you sad because of me?" Sylvana was dumb struck a moment, but was quick to gather herself.
"Come here, you silly little thing," she said and Serene climbed up onto her lap, "You could never make me sad, dear-heart, do you understand, never. You are the one thing that gives this gloomy place some light, that little bit of sparkle…" She let out a musical chuckle, "I would be lost without you here with me, foxling, and don't you forget it." Serene let out a giggle and settled into her Sylvie's arms. She hadn't thought that simply having each other would make things seem better…
Chapter 15
Some of the dragon slayers were slowly beginning to find themselves growing disillusioned. No one had expected that bringing a single woman aboard the Vione could disrupt the order so profoundly as it had. Dilandau couldn't control a girl…a tiny, delicate girl who was nearly half his size, probably half his strength, and who appeared as though he could easily break in two. However, despite all the months she had stayed on the fortress, never once had she properly submitted to the captain, and neither had he succeeded in breaking her. No one had ever opposed the captain as she did; stubbornly refusing to accept the natural order of things and her proper place as an underling and a woman. She had a stubborn streak in her that surpassed that of any mule and a will stronger than anything known to Gaea. They had begun to doubt after she had first confronted Lord Dilandau about her dead lover and since then things had just continued to unravel. There were still many who would follow Lord Dilandau blindly into hell if they were so commanded, but there were some who were questioning the order of things. They did not believe their lord incompetent, oh no, but they had begun to question just what it was this woman was capable of as well as the way she…and even they were treated. One or two had overheard the lord's conversation with Sylvana's brother. Clearly he too would follow her into oblivion if the need arose, and gladly, but he did not fear her, or respect her simply because she demanded it. He respected her because he saw that she deserved it. She had earned it, not enforced it. He followed her because he loved her…possibly worshiped her. Surely he would do anything for her if she asked it of him, no matter the consequences. This concept was lost on more than one, so used to the kind of loyalty and respect that Lord Dilandau demanded that they couldn't imagine any other way. They had been with him a long time, some of them since for almost as long as they could remember, had watched as he climbed the ranks to where he was now, and always he had demanded a certain amount of respect…even as a small boy. How could it be possible that one could earn loyalty and respect through kindness and compassion, rather than brutality? All those things had been implied by Sylvana's twin and the other slayers present had discussed it with the others, wondering if it could be true.
And, what of her powers? What could she really do? Though they would never dare to admit it, the mere thought of the power she might possess made one or two quake inside. They all knew now how she could heal. She was not just another physician…no, she was something more. She was one who possessed the keys to life and death themselves…and what would happen to them if she decided to use those keys? What heals can also kill, or so was the common belief among many. These thoughts were all flying about the barracks. Some would whisper about it all night. Was Lord Dilandau growing weak and soft? Was he under some kind of dark spell? Perhaps a curse? If she could oppose him so easily, why couldn't they? Would it be better to follow her? Or, would she prove to be just as brutal as Lord Dilandau? Was she formulating some sort of plan? Was she plotting to use her black magic to kill them all?
Who said anything about black magic? If she was plotting to kill them, why hadn't she done it already? She never appeared to be cruel like their captain, even if she did have a temper…she didn't attack, she counterattacked. It was possible she was a kinder leader, but most likely softer by far…they'd lose their discipline…and on it went. Some had no idea where they stood on the matter; others were quite adamant. Yes, things were swiftly changing…
Serene had not been expecting to find Sylvana on the floor when she returned. There was a sense of deep inner sorrow, but at least the rage had subsided drastically. Serene took a step forward and then spoke.
"Sylvie? What's the matter?" Sylvana started and then looked up at the girl, putting on a warm smile, but the tear tracks were still visible on her fair skin.
"Nothing…nothing at all," replied Sylvana in one of those voices that adults used when they were trying to sound happy for the sake of a child. She wiped away the tears as best she could, but her eyes remained slightly red, from weeping no doubt, "Everything's fine." Sylvana pushed herself up and sat on the sofa. Serene was surprised at how tired her Sylvie looked all of a sudden. She hopped up on the sofa next to Sylvana and gave her a look that said all too plainly, 'I won't let you lie to me anymore.'
"What's wrong, Sylvana?" Serene said in what she hoped was a firm voice. Sylvana started, Serene never used her whole name like that. She looked at the small child…six summers, that was all she was, and yet…Sylvana felt she couldn't keep her façade in place any longer and it came crashing down.
"Something…terrible…has happened, sylph," she said…It had been a while since Sylvana had used that particular nickname, "and…someone…someone has died…" Tears began to trickle their way down Sylvana's cheeks again, and she wiped them away impatiently. She was angry at herself for acting weak like this in front of Serene, but how could she act strong when she felt as though all her strength was gone? drained away with her tears, or sucked dry by that…that human? Serene's crystal blue eyes were now as wide as saucers it seemed.
"Who?" she asked, barely above a whisper, "who died?" Sylvana looked at her hopelessly, unable to speak his name. The girl grabbed Sylvana's arm.
"I-it wasn't one of y-your sisters?" she stammered fearfully, "or - or your brother?" Her voice sounded so small all of a sudden. Sylvana shook her head no.
"Who!?" cried Serene, "who was it?!" Now there was a note of hysteria in her small voice. There were a lot of people she cared about and Sylvana knew that she feared losing them, any of them. She'd lost her mother, just as Sylvana had, and Sylvana knew that the little seraph had sworn an oath to the very gods that she'd never lose anyone else ever again. Sylvana's lips moved, but at first, no sound came out.
"Adriel," she finally managed to get out, though barely audible, but then her voice grew stronger, "Adriel…it was Adriel…he died…" Serene seemed to fall back into the cushions, disbelief written on her young face.
"How?" she whispered.
"He was killed…murdered…"
"No! By…by who?"
"Dilandau ordered it…I'm certain of it…" Serene shook her head in disbelief. She too had loved Adriel. As an older brother? As a father figure, maybe? It didn't matter, he'd been someone she'd often confided in.
"No," she whispered, tears now showing in her own eyes, "Why? It's not fair!!!" She then collapsed into Sylvana's arms and wept as well. No longer able to hold back her own tears, Sylvana let hers flow again as well. And so, the two wept together, each comforting the other in a way. On the balcony railing, Anya perched. She too wept for Adriel; tears like liquid diamonds as she sang his soul to the Havens as was customary for her kind when in mourning.
Sylvana felt lost in the world. She had no idea of who or what she was any more. She felt as though everything she was had drained away with her tears. Her strength was gone and she found that she was not even able to push herself out of bed anymore. Anya was understanding and watched over Serene for her. The little one commonly curled up with Sylvana for the majority of the day, but sometimes could be coaxed out of their apartments by Anya; not so with Sylvana. Every now and then she'd contemplate ways of dealing with Dilandau, but could never bring herself to put any of these plans in motion. She was also quite aware of just how pathetic she was being, but for the time, she felt pathetic, she felt like nothing, just an empty shell of what she'd once been.
*******
Dilandau hadn't been sleeping well, not since his confrontation with that woman. He'd been having dreams…every night, dreams which he would wake up from drenched in an icy sweat, yet which he could not remember, except for a voice which continued to repeat the same message over and over like a chant. At first he couldn't make out what was being said, but four words now echoed in his mind…
'Beware the darkness within…' Was that what the voice from his dreams had been saying? Why would it be saying something such as that? Where did it come from and what did it mean? Did it have something to do with that Laicar…again? He wouldn't be surprised. Strange things had been happening ever since he'd brought her to the Vione. What did it all mean?
Chapter 12
Serene gazed over the railing down to the level below her and Anya. She could sense the firebird's steady gaze on her, never once wavering. She found herself once more contemplating Adriel's death. Had Dilandau really and truly ordered his death? After he'd promised to spare him? Anya had said that she wouldn't put it past him, but Serene felt something deep within that told her otherwise. She couldn't explain it, but it still remained, and oh how she longed to know just what it meant. Perhaps she should ask someone when they returned home…and she had little doubt that they would…soon…that they'd leave this gloomy place devoid of sun and warmth and beauty, that they'd return to colour and happiness and life. She took a moment to wonder if this was what the Hells were like; a world vast and empty, with no sunlight or colour or happiness, no laughter, no mirth. She wondered, for she was certain that no place could be worst than this.
Her mind turned to Sylvana. Although today was one of those days where someone was to visit, she had remained in bed. Serene thought that the young woman seemed empty and lost. Her life was gone, her shimmer, her sparkle, it was no longer there. All that remained was the emptiness of her sorrow and the fire of her rage; though the former seemed to be smothering the latter. She knew, though, that Sylvana's visitors would snap her out of it and make her see straight…they always seemed to be able to…
*******
Sylvana lay on her back gazing blindly up at the ceiling. She felt completely devoid of life and energy. She had for over a week, ever since she'd learned about Adriel. For a good amount of time, her anger had kept her going, but now it was quickly fading and now she was tempted to just give it all up and to stop her fighting entirely. She was contemplating this when the door opened. Surprised, Sylvana sat bolt upright on the sofa just as her sisters entered.
"Shadow? Myrage?" she cried, even more surprised, "You're here!"
"Yes, we are," replied Shadow.
"You sound surprised, you knew someone was supposed to come today, didn't you, Sylve?" added Myrage.
"Oh, that's right," said Sylvana with a sigh. "The days have almost begun to blur together it seems…" She pressed a hand to her forehead and then pushed herself to her feet.
"Oh, Sylvana," said Myrage, "you look like hell…"
"Why thank you, Myrage…I love you too," replied Sylvana dryly. Shadow was also gazing at Myrage with an unimpressed look on her face. Sylvana sniffed and turned her back to her sisters.
"Sylvana, we brought you a message. Ice-Moon asked us to bring it to you when we came…"
"A message?" Sylvana turned back around to face her sisters.
"Yes…here," Myrage handed Sylvana a small folded up piece of parchment. Sylvana took it and unfolded it…
"What does it say?" asked Shadow when she saw her sister's silvery brows knit. Sylvana handed the paper to her sister
"Beware the darkness within?" Shadow said in a quizzical voice.
"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Myrage.
"Bast is sending me a message. About a week ago…Dilandau confronted me about my stubborn refusal to help his slayers and…"She paused and lowered her head.
"And?" pressed Shadow. Sylvana looked up at her sisters again, her eyes showing a hardness neither of them had ever seen there before.
"And, I nearly killed him," she stated coldly…matter-of-factly, as though talking about a stroll through the woods.
*******
Sylvana had come within inches of killing Dilandau. The captain hadn't said so…of course he hadn't…that would have been a great blow to his pride. However, after his last confrontation with the young woman, he hadn't even mentioned her, let alone gone to drag her out of her apartments, even though she still refused to follow any kind of orders. All the dragon slayers had suspected that something had happened, and Serene had confirmed it when she had confided in Viole what exactly had happened. Viole was beginning to get an ever-growing feeling that they had all vastly underestimated the young woman. Even though, he wasn't given to believing in such superstitions as magic…or religion even…(why would only certain people be blessed with magical gifts? What kind of god would allow so much suffering in the world?) he was beginning to suspect that maybe there really was more to her than they had first believed. He was beginning to wonder if they had only seen a small, delicate young woman where there was really a strong young huntress…or possibly warrioress with courage to equal or maybe even surpass any or theirs. Maybe, just maybe, she was even the enchantress she claimed herself to be. Maybe it was time he and the others started believing in more than that which they could only see and touch.
*******
Sylvana looked at the pale faces of her sisters.
"How could you be so matter-of-fact about something like that?" asked Myrage in a soft voice, "it makes my blood run cold." Sylvana turned away from her sisters and wandered over to the balcony and leaned against the railing as she gazed down at the distant land far below.
"That message was sent by Bast to remind me of her words when I had my dagger held at Dilandau's throat. If she hadn't been there…"
"You would have killed him." stated Shadow, "You would have given into that darkness that you fear…"
"Yes, well…the point is I didn't," replied Sylvana turning back to her sisters and leaning her back against the railing and regarding them calmly, the hardness still in her eyes.
"But if Bast hadn't -"
"Stop!" interrupted Sylvana sharply, "It no longer matters. I didn't surrender to that evil part of my spirit. Bast was there watching over me as she always has, guiding me as she has since the death of my mother. She was there to stop me from making a terrible mistake…and she succeeded." Both sisters exchanged glances and then sighed and seemed to deflate. There was truth in what Sylvana said. She didn't give into her dark tendencies; she stopped herself. It no longer mattered.
"It's getting late," commented Shadow several hours later, "I think we'd better be going…"
"Yes," agreed Sylvana. The two stood, but Sylvana remained in her place with her back resting against the balcony railing. She had sat with her sisters a while, but after two or three hours had returned to her place there.
"We'll see you soon," stated Myrage in a reassuring voice.
"Take care, Sylvana," said Shadow and then in a slightly lower voice, "and beware the darkness within…" Sylvana had to smile at that. Shadow was not being nagging, she was teasing and being serious at the same time in a way only she could.
"Clear skies, fair winds," replied Sylvana in the traditional farewell of Clan Falcon. In truth, most of the flighted clans had similar greetings, but each was unique in one way or another. In that way the sisters parted again. Sylvana felt a little lighter of heart than she had been in a while. The sorrow and anger were still there, but as long as she was not thrown into another confrontation with the captain of the dragon slayers then she was certain that all would be well as could be expected.
Chapter 13
When Dilandau and his men returned from their latest campaign, Sylvana felt her heart lurch like it never had any time previously…
"Oh Gods" she whispered, feeling her stomach churn in response to the emotions of the young men. Obviously, something had gone terribly wrong. She wasn't sure exactly what it was, but the emotions that were flying around were of an intensity she'd never picked up from these young men until now. They had a way of suppressing their emotions quite well. She resisted the urge to pace, instead grabbing a book from her shelf and settling herself on the sofa. Whatever it was, she'd know soon enough.
She had no idea how much time had passed before her door flew open.
"What's wrong?" she asked in a flat tone without looking up from her book.
"We need your healing skills," said Viole's voice.
"You all know I don't do that any longer," she stated coolly and then glancing up saw the barely conscious young man leaning nearly all his weight on two other slayers. There was a deep, weeping gash in his side. She quickly stood.
"Lay him on the sofa," she directed in an authoritative, though not exactly commanding voice. The young men hesitated, not used to taking orders from anyone besides Dilandau, let alone a woman. "Hurry up!" she commanded in a sharp voice. Finally they seemed to wake up and dragged the injured youth to her sofa to lay him there.
"Give me space," she directed and the young men, four of them not including the one who was wounded, moved back toward the door. She approached the youth and stood over him a moment taking in his condition. She heard the others behind her shift, undoubtedly wondering just what she was waiting for. She ignored them, however, this was more important. After a good minute or so, she reached out a hand, palm down, and closing her eyes, swept her hand just above his body, reading his aura, searching for any wounds or other damage other than the main obvious one. After five minutes and not finding anything else, she laid her hand over the wound, focusing the greater amount of her energy into healing it. She willed the blood to cease flowing and the flesh to knit back together, but it was taking longer that she'd first expected. The wound was deeper that she'd first anticipated, which meant that she was pouring in more energy than she'd originally expected and she could feel it…
*******
Dilandau entered Sylvana's apartments just as she straightened up. She looked at him coolly, irritation written all over her face.
"He'll be fine after at least half a week of rest," she informed the four dragon slayers before turning her attention to their captain, "Dilandau, what do you want now?" she demanded, sounding exasperated, but not angry.
"I want you to heal the others who were injured…"
"No," said Sylvana firmly without a hint of anger or sharpness.
"What?" demanded Dilandau clearly shocked as well as angry.
"They can wait…they'll have to wait…" she stated.
"You will do it now," growled Dilandau.
"No…I won't," replied Sylvana, still with an air of calm.
"How dare you oppose me…in front of my men! Do as I command!' He was furious.
"I won't!" she snapped back, her voice rising...and then in a softer, weaker voice…"I - I can't" The last of her strength finally gave out with that weak statement and her knees buckled. Viole was quick and grabbed her before she could hit the floor. He swept her up off her feet just as she slipped into unconscious. He shivered as he held her.
"She's ice cold," he commented in nearly a whisper.
"What do you think you are doing?" Dilandau demanded of Viole.
"Whatever she did to heal him obviously weakened her; she's unconscious. There isn't anyway she can heal anyone else today…" Then as an afterthought, "sir."
"What!?" growled Dilandau.
"He's right, Lord Dilandau," piped up another of his men.
"What did you say?!"
"Look at her! She saved Chesta's life while risking her own. You can't possibly expect her
to-"
"Enough!" yelled Dilandau, "I won't tolerate insubordination in my dragon slayers! You will do as I command and when I'm done with her, so will she, regardless of how much energy she uses while healing. Now, you two, take Chesta to the infirmary to recover. As for you…" He turned his attention back to Viole, "You will be severely disciplined later. Put her down and then get out!"
"Yes, sir," came the chorus of replies. Viole's voice, however, was not among them. He laid the young Laicar woman on her bed and then left with the others. When they were gone, Dilandau wandered over to Sylvana's bed, still unconvinced that she had truly collapsed. However, even under his long scrutiny, she didn't stir. Finally, with a growl from under his breath, he himself left her apartments.
Chapter 14
For at least three days, Sylvana slept, not waking even once. Anya kept her wise, gentle eyes on Serene during this time, knowing that with the power came a price, and Sylvana was paying it. Healing another took a great toll on her body, draining her life energy until she was just barely alive. Normally this drain would naturally cease if she came too near the brink of death, but if the need was great enough, and her will was strong enough, she could prevent this cut off. However, the price for doing this was the ultimate one…death. For three days, Sylvana never stirred once, almost seeming dead. Her skin was icy cold and she was as pale as a ghost. She didn't once move as she lay there and more than once Serene had come close to flying into hysterics, believing her young guardian to have finally given up on life, but Anya had every time, calmly and patiently reassured the child that Sylvana still had life in her, and indeed was far too stubborn to let herself die in such a way. Still, this did not prevent little Serene from weeping at night until sleep wrapped her in its soothing embrace.
A week passed for Sylvana without any coming to her apartments. However, one morning, Dilandau barged into her room, mere minutes after she had dressed. She was still weary from healing Chesta. In truth, she longed to remain a-bed longer, but thought it better to get up in order to regain her strength. She had just settled herself in her chair when the door flew open and in walked Dilandau, of course.
"Well, you are finally up and about, I see…good, I still have men who are in need of healing…" Sylvana looked at him calmly, a wan look still in her expression. She stood slowly, making her appear almost regal, although it was in fact due to her lingering weakness.
"Listen to me and listen well, I am not one of your servants and neither am I one of your soldiers for you to order about. I am still too weak to heal and only I can know when I'll be ready to, so leave me alone, Dilandau. You cannot bully me into doing your bidding as you can your slayers, so go…just go…" Fury flashed across the captain's face. How dare she oppose him like this again, especially when she was obviously weakened and was no match for him. He remained silent as he glowered at her. He was so tired of this. No girl was going to defy him. No girl was going to insight disloyalty in his men. Even though it had been over half a year he again made that resolve that he would break her. He had thought he had after she had experienced that mild emotional break down, but here she was just as adamant as ever despite her obvious weakness. This time, however, she was not showing any sign of anger. She was calm and relaxed and she spoke in a calm matter-of-fact tone, rather than a sharp tone like she'd used before.
"Look," she continued, "I can't help it if I can do nothing. If I heal any serious or life threatening wounds then I will die; I can't help that. Healing takes energy directly from my life force. Where did you think it came from? If I were in a vale then I could tap into the nexus it's built around, but there aren't any here. There isn't anything I can do…" Was she explaining…herself to him? That was a change. He still growled and remained unyielding. What the hell was he supposed to do then? She dropped back down into the chair with a sigh and closed her eyes.
"Are any of your men dying at the moment, Dilandau?" she asked.
"No, but -"
"Then you don't need me. I'm only obliged as a healer if someone is dying as in the case of…Chesta was it? As a healer, when someone is dying then I am compelled to heal. It is something that is without prejudice, even if they are my enemy, but you said yourself that your men will recover on their own and so you do not need me now, and I will not help them…cannot help them in this state of weakness." She opened her eyes again. She looked so tired. "Please, just leave, Dilandau, and don't bother me again…" Now she was sounding as though she considered herself of a higher rank than he. He tensed with indignance.
"Are you presuming to order me around?" he demanded.
'Why not?' she thought to herself, 'you do it to me often enough…' "No," she replied in a wan voice, "I just want some time alone. I need to rest. I'm tired…" Her pale silvery eyes bored into his. He stood there a good long while until she appeared to be ignoring him. This was humiliating and that only served to make his blood boil all the more. Finally, unable to take it any longer, he marched over to her chair and, bracing himself on the chair's arms, leaned forward until his face was mere inches from her own. She gazed back at him calmly and arched a graceful silver eyebrow.
"I'm not about to let some woman oppose my word," barked the captain, "you will do as I say or I will find a way to make you…"
"Are you threatening me?" Sylvana asked in a steady voice.
"What do you think?"
"I think not," she replied, her gaze holding steady, "If you harm me I swear to you that someone will make you regret it, and I assure you that is not a threat but a promise…" Dilandau let a sound escape his throat that resembled a cross between a growl and a laugh.
"If you mean your guide, she doesn't scare me…" Sylvana shrugged
"That is not my concern and thus not my problem…" she replied still not flinching away from his cruel gaze, but meeting it with steady pale green eyes, which close up almost resembled shards of green glass…or perhaps green ice. He felt the urge to slap that confident look off her delicate and beautiful face as he would one of his men, but resisted it. She was still a force to be reckoned with, especially when angry and hitting her had definitely not helped matters the last time…
"Dilandau, give up," she said in a tone of one who was giving advise, "I'll never submit to you…so just…forget about it. Go back to your loyal men and stop trying to force me to do your bidding or you'll just continue to humiliate yourself in front of your men. Just give up. Leave it alone." Dilandau straightened up quickly at these words and he felt himself flush with white hot anger. How dare she! He was about to strike her when movement near the back of the room near the door to the sleeping area distracted him. Standing there watching them was Sylvana's little girl. Serene also looked calm as she stood there, one hand on the doorframe. How much had she over heard?"
"Dilandau," she said in that sweet little voice, "why won't you leave Sylvie alone?" Dilandau stiffened at these words, "Why do you want to make Sylvie sad?" she then added. Sad? The child stepped from the doorframe into the room, those innocent sapphire eyes trained on the captain. Dilandau didn't like Serene, he'd only seen her once or twice since his very first meeting with Sylvana, but even so there was something about the child that made him feel odd and he did not like it.
"Serene," said Sylvana, "go back into the other room and talk to Anya, this doesn't concern you…"
"No," replied the child in a surprisingly calm tone, no whiny or defiant tone in it at all, "I want to stay here with you…" Sylvana looked away from Dilandau to the tiny girl.
"Please, Serene…" The little girl didn't react at all, but she had a very resolute look on her youthful face, one that almost couldn't be argued with…
"I think you should go," Sylvana said to Dilandau, rising to her feet, though she was no where near as tall as he. He crossed his arms looking as though he was prepared to be as stubborn as she, but the steady sapphirine gaze of that little girl seemed to make him feel cold inside, almost as though he was recalling some emotion from his lost and forgotten childhood. Serene was now leaning against Sylvana and clinging to her skirt a little, looking up at the captain. The feeling she gave him was eerie and emotions, not exactly strong, but a definite echo from his lost past began to rise up…fear accompanied by nausea…those were the strongest feelings, but also a memory of happiness and contentment. The cold empty feeling grew. It had to be that child!
"This isn't finished," Dilandau snarled finally, and stalked out, not wanting to make it obvious that he was only leaving to escape those nagging memories of old emotions lost, and the cold emptiness that he could feel deep inside, almost like an ache of an old, long healed wound.
*******
Sylvana stood a few moments longer after Dilandau left and then sank into her chair and, resting her elbow on the chair arm, dropped her forehead into her hand. It was really beginning to wear on her, every last little thing. The magical shields protecting her mind from the everyday buzz of emotions constantly flying about the flying fortress were beginning to weaken and were threatening to crumble. She found that she was getting the worst kind of headaches once or twice a week and it seemed that she could never get enough sleep. Serene approached Sylvana and laid her hands on her guardian's free arm.
"You're not all right, are you, Sylvie?" she asked in a small voice.
"I've been better," the elder girl replied.
"Why can't we leave, Sylvie? Why can't we go home and see Shadow, Myrage, Sylvan…and all the others?" Sylvana lifted her head and looked at the little girl standing before her, "Let's go home, Sylvie, let's." the little one pleaded.
"I'm afraid we can't, little fox; we don't have the means. Yes, I can fly, but you, my lamb, cannot…" her voice trailed off.
"Oh…" replied Serene, looking crushed, "is it my fault that you don't escape, then? Are you sad because of me?" Sylvana was dumb struck a moment, but was quick to gather herself.
"Come here, you silly little thing," she said and Serene climbed up onto her lap, "You could never make me sad, dear-heart, do you understand, never. You are the one thing that gives this gloomy place some light, that little bit of sparkle…" She let out a musical chuckle, "I would be lost without you here with me, foxling, and don't you forget it." Serene let out a giggle and settled into her Sylvie's arms. She hadn't thought that simply having each other would make things seem better…
Chapter 15
Some of the dragon slayers were slowly beginning to find themselves growing disillusioned. No one had expected that bringing a single woman aboard the Vione could disrupt the order so profoundly as it had. Dilandau couldn't control a girl…a tiny, delicate girl who was nearly half his size, probably half his strength, and who appeared as though he could easily break in two. However, despite all the months she had stayed on the fortress, never once had she properly submitted to the captain, and neither had he succeeded in breaking her. No one had ever opposed the captain as she did; stubbornly refusing to accept the natural order of things and her proper place as an underling and a woman. She had a stubborn streak in her that surpassed that of any mule and a will stronger than anything known to Gaea. They had begun to doubt after she had first confronted Lord Dilandau about her dead lover and since then things had just continued to unravel. There were still many who would follow Lord Dilandau blindly into hell if they were so commanded, but there were some who were questioning the order of things. They did not believe their lord incompetent, oh no, but they had begun to question just what it was this woman was capable of as well as the way she…and even they were treated. One or two had overheard the lord's conversation with Sylvana's brother. Clearly he too would follow her into oblivion if the need arose, and gladly, but he did not fear her, or respect her simply because she demanded it. He respected her because he saw that she deserved it. She had earned it, not enforced it. He followed her because he loved her…possibly worshiped her. Surely he would do anything for her if she asked it of him, no matter the consequences. This concept was lost on more than one, so used to the kind of loyalty and respect that Lord Dilandau demanded that they couldn't imagine any other way. They had been with him a long time, some of them since for almost as long as they could remember, had watched as he climbed the ranks to where he was now, and always he had demanded a certain amount of respect…even as a small boy. How could it be possible that one could earn loyalty and respect through kindness and compassion, rather than brutality? All those things had been implied by Sylvana's twin and the other slayers present had discussed it with the others, wondering if it could be true.
And, what of her powers? What could she really do? Though they would never dare to admit it, the mere thought of the power she might possess made one or two quake inside. They all knew now how she could heal. She was not just another physician…no, she was something more. She was one who possessed the keys to life and death themselves…and what would happen to them if she decided to use those keys? What heals can also kill, or so was the common belief among many. These thoughts were all flying about the barracks. Some would whisper about it all night. Was Lord Dilandau growing weak and soft? Was he under some kind of dark spell? Perhaps a curse? If she could oppose him so easily, why couldn't they? Would it be better to follow her? Or, would she prove to be just as brutal as Lord Dilandau? Was she formulating some sort of plan? Was she plotting to use her black magic to kill them all?
Who said anything about black magic? If she was plotting to kill them, why hadn't she done it already? She never appeared to be cruel like their captain, even if she did have a temper…she didn't attack, she counterattacked. It was possible she was a kinder leader, but most likely softer by far…they'd lose their discipline…and on it went. Some had no idea where they stood on the matter; others were quite adamant. Yes, things were swiftly changing…