Chapter 26
Folken sat quietly in his chambers reflecting on the strangeness of Dilandau's illness. He'd just been informed that the young captain was once more conscious, but was still unfit for duty, and would be for a while if his specially selected healer had indeed spoke true. Folken frowned at the thought of that strange young woman. Why had Dilandau been so adamant that she join them on the fortress? Folken had a feeling that it partially had to do with Dilandau's discomfort and deep dislike of the Zaibach sorcerers. Folken himself had not approved, but had accepted her presence just the same even thought he agreed with the other regular soldiers and guards aboard the Vione that the flying fortress was not place for women…and even less a place for children. That small girl had no place aboard the Vione, but the woman had been adamant about the child and Dilandau had been even more adamant about her. Folken had to wonder if there was something more going on between Dilandau and this woman, Folken had thought she'd appeared quite distressed over the captain's sudden illness, and yet there had seemed to be something about her manner when it came to the young man -- was it apprehension he'd seen? Normally the stratago was good at guessing feelings in others, but this woman, it seemed, was quite good at disguising her feelings, something rarely seen in most women. In the women he'd come across in his life, it had seemed that they preferred to express their emotions with a fair amount of openness, or were just not too good at disguising them. If they fancied a man, they often went out of their way to make it clear, flirting and preening and flaunting their fripperies, but this one -- she made him apprehensive while intriguing him at the same time. He'd never seen her clan before either. Surely she wasn't human -- or at least not fully human, not with those ears and eyes certainly. Part cat perhaps? He knew that it sometimes happened, though vary rarely, that a human and a cat-person would marry and even have children. It was possible -- though perhaps improbable. She had neither the mannerisms of cat nor human. She, though he'd seen her only a few times and spoken to her less, seemed quite wary and mistrustful of humans, so that suggested that she had not been raised by them. But her style of dress, her speech and accent, and other subtle things protested that cats had not raised her either, so that pretty much refuted that theory. He furrowed his brow unconsciously as he considered other possibilities. Dilandau had never told him where he'd come across her, but the time he'd brought her aboard pointed to the festival. Was she one of those strange people who came to Asturia twice a year to throw their renowned festivals? He himself had never been to the festivals, nor had he met the people who seemed to appear from nowhere and leave the same way. He'd wanted to when he'd been a child and he'd heard stories about them from others. Some described them as part cat, others as part dragon. He'd heard many descriptions from his friends too; those who had known people who had gone. One of his friends told him that he'd overheard his sister say that they had the eyes of a dragon and the ears of a cat and voices like wind and water. He had said that they were slender like reeds and graceful like willows and that they were so brilliantly beautiful that no one could look directly upon their faces lest they go blind. Another of his friends had heard them described as being draconic with the eyes of a dragon and glistening scales on their necks, shoulders and arms. They moved with deliberate grace, had long sharp nails on their hands, not unlike claws, and had dangerous smiles. Some said they had voices like mermaids, other said they were similar to the myths' descriptions of siren voices. Some said they looked almost like regular people; others described them as being somewhat animalistic. Despite the many different accounts though, all were agreed on two things, first, they were all graceful and slender for the most part. Some of the elderly of their people were perhaps plump, but none were ever fat. Second, they, every last one of them, were strikingly beautiful to look at, far more beautiful than the normal human. Recalling this from his childhood, Folken could see that some of these descriptions did indeed match the strange healer somewhat. Though she was hardly blinding to look upon, indeed her beauty was striking, yes, she would indeed stand out in a crowd; neither did she have dragon scales or claws. She did, however, have a sweet musical voice that did seem clear like water and it's sweetness was almost as the myths described the voices of the seductive sirens, though no temptress she. Yet, he didn't trust her. There was something in her eyes that had spooked him a little when he first gazed into them, almost as if he were looking into two fountains that showed the past -- and the past could be something that even the strong hearted may fear looking into. He recalled having a flashback to his childhood when he'd first looked into those pale eyes and it had unnerved him to say the least. What he'd seen was something he'd long long ago forgotten. A step too near to death that he'd blocked it out to cease his terrifying nightmares. He shivered -- no, he did not like her at all.
*******
Dilandau opened his eyes still feeling weary and then napped them open, suddenly alert. Next to him, leaning back against the wall, knees pulled to her chest and chin resting on her knees was Sylvana's little girl. She was looking right at him as though she'd anticipated the exact moment he'd wake. Silently she turned away a moment and then took a mug that was sitting on the table next to his bed, in her small hands and held it out to him, still not breathing a syllable. Dilandau's brows furrowed and then he slowly sat up, wincing as white hot pain lanced through his head like lightening, momentarily dazzling his eyes. He leaned back against the pillows and then frowned, as he looked the child up and down before finally taking the clay mug from her tiny hands. She smiled quite charmingly at him as he grimaced at the foul taste and then let a sweet musical giggle escape her throat.
"I should have warned you," she said in he tiny child's voice, "that is the worst stuff ever concocted by the healers…" She made a face playfully and then rested her cheek on her knees as she studied him with her dancing blue eyes, her gentle, innocent smile still remaining. It was almost infectious and as Dilandau cast a glance at her he wondered why she had no fear of him…something he couldn't quite grasp. Sylvana, though he even had a hard time wrapping his mind around her fearlessness toward him, he could almost understand. She'd never been taught to fear men, never been taught her proper place. Most women were expected to happily serve men, but not her…why was it not like that with her? But this child…surely she'd seen things, or at least heard things about him that were enough to make a child quake inside with fear of him. Though she was young still…and so very innocent, hadn't she heard about hid feats in battle, the men he'd slain…anything? He knew that children were easily controlled; children's stories, old wives tales, they all existed to manipulate children into behaving and to do what was expected in later years…and yet, what was it about this child?! He frowned and took another sip and winded again at its offensive taste.
"Is it true that you're a demon?" she asked suddenly in a soft voice. Dilandau nearly spat out his mouthful of potion. He swallowed and then turned to look at her, astonishment nearing the point of incredulity showing in his garnet eyes. He was about to hurl something cruel and biting at her, but stopped for some reason.
"Who told you that?" he demanded instead. The child didn't quail or even blanch, instead she sat up straighter and met his eyes squarely.
"No one," she said, "but there is a story in a book about a demon that leads an army to destroy the world. He was tall and menacing, but dreadfully beautiful except for his glowing red eyes…" Dilandau frowned as Serene gazed into the distance, her brows knitting so that they almost appeared to be about to touch. "Anya said that you might destroy the world…and…and you're so…so mean to everyone…your men don't like you…and Sylvie hates you…She doesn't hate many people so she must have a good reason…" she met his eyes again, "Why do you want to destroy the world?"
"I don't want to destroy the world you little fool!"
"No? Then…then why do you fight people…and…and…" she lowered her voice, "I heard that you ordered your men to destroy and entire country…" Dilandau pulled back…who told the little brat that? He felt his cheeks grow hot.
"So what if I did?" he demanded.
"Well…it's a monstrously terrible thing to do…so many innocent people…many must have died and many more no longer have homes and…and i-it's just…mean! Think of yourself as one the those people…put yourself in their place…how do you think you'd feel?" Dilandau scoffed.
"Now you listen to me, little girl…you know nothing about any of this…war, battle, honour -"
"Is there honour in destroying whole countries when they are unsuspecting? Is there honour in attacking your enemy from behind?" Where had that come from? For a moment the little girl had ceased to be a little girl and for a moment he thought he spoke to a wise and aged woman, but the illusion passed equally as fast and the little girl was once more just that. Her sapphire orbs were now very serious and looking into them he felt as though he were swept up in a sea of blue. "I just want to know why?" She said, her voice tiny again.
"Why do I do it?" He looked at her with unhidden surprise, "Why do I do it? Why does anyone do what they do? I live for it. The rush, the power, the knowledge that I'm going to win and they are going to lose…" Serene shook her head, her soft waves rippling softly.
"What about the people you hurt? What about the people who die? Do you even take a moment to consider them, their families? Don't you have a family?" Again he was shocked into momentary silence. He had to think back, his brows creasing as he did, but once he reached his sixth year he recalled nothing else, as if he hadn't existed before then.
"No," he said finally.
"None?"
"If I did, I don't remember…"
"Oh…my Mam…she's dead," Serene said, her voice barely above a whisper, "and my Da…he…I don't see him…he's different from most of the rest of the people…I don't know where he is or what he does...My sisters are with him too, so…so Sylvie and her sisters and brother are my only family I guess…" Why was she telling him this? "I don't remember my Da either…and I miss my Mam…" He felt strange. He'd never felt like this before. He thought it might be sympathy -- he thought he might even have a strange affinity toward the little thing. He said nothing however…after all, when had he ever been soft? Serene continued to study him with those bottomless azure eyes. The next words that came from her mouth were no less surprising than anything else she'd said before.
"Dilandau…why…why do you want to upset Sylvie? Why do you want to make her weep?" Dilandau whipped his head around to look at Serene so fast that it was a wonder he didn't hurt his neck.
"W-what?" he demanded
"You've taken her away from those who care about her, you killed the only man she ever loved…y-you treat her horribly…She weeps almost every night before she sleeps. You must want to make her or you wouldn't be so horrible to her and do such dreadful things…so I want to know why…why do you want to make her weep?"
'I make her weep?' Dilandau hadn't known that Sylvana wept that often. She usually showed such a hard strong façade when facing him that he'd never paused to think that she might weep as other women do. He wouldn't have believed it if it had been anyone other than this sweet, innocent, naive little girl telling him.
"I don't want to," he replied, "but if I do then that's just too damn bad. In my world women do what they're told and they don't argue about it, neither do they take up a sword against the one they serve as she serves me."
"She doesn't live in your world," replied Serene calmly sitting up rigidly straight, "She's Laicar and Laicar women are their own people. They follow no man's orders unless they wish to, or are fighting in the army. She will never give into your rules…not ever…you will be fighting her forever unless one of you breaks…and I'd wager it'll not be her…" That said, Serene slid off the bed and made her way toward the door. Dilandau had a feeling, even though she had not thrown a tantrum or even raised her voice, that the girl was upset if not angry and need sometime to think.
Chapter 27
Sylvana had never been more exhausted in her life. Nursing the young captain took more out of her than she would have expected. Of course, she had to remind herself that she was no longer in the vale or even on the ground and that she no longer had a nexus to draw from in order to conserve her strength. Dilandau was getting better, however slowly and since he no longer needed anything elaborate, only rest and her herbal teas, she could finally rest some. Serene was good about taking over for her when she had nothing left in her and needed to go take a much-needed rest. Sylvana was indeed surprised by the child's startlingly strong gifts to heal and comfort -- and her compassion and kindness indeed seemed boundless. Not even the cold-hearted Dilandau could anger her too greatly and Sylvana could sense that the little creature had no taint of hate on her heart or in her soul -- not even the tiniest traces. Serene's goodness, her kindness, her purity, her innocence were overwhelming when Sylvana met it full force. It was even stronger than her own rage. She wished at times that she could be like her sylph, but it always felt like the feelings of kindness and compassion were beyond her capacity -- just outside of her grasp and it saddened her that she no longer knew the child-like innocence she'd known at Serene's age. She wondered about Dilandau -- she was sensing more and more confusion swirling about his mind every day. She knew that Serene was speaking with him often, and she wondered if the seraph had anything to do with it. Things were growing stranger by the day. Something was happening among the slayers as well, but what? She couldn't tell. She could feel disorder lurking close at hand, waiting for one small incident to set things in motion -- to make the tenuous control that dominated the Vione unravel like an unfinished tapestry. She felt it every day, growing ever-stronger…disorder growing ever closer to swallowing them all and chaos just waiting to be unleashed on all of Gaea to suck them into the eternal abyss.
*******
Dilandau woke with a violent jolt and sat up. Another dream -- another one he recalled only fragments of; a field, a young boy, a kind, gentle woman…little more. He remembered very little of these dreams, but always he woke in the same way…trembling like a child, broken out in an icy sweat, his heart pounding as if it wished to leap from his chest, and tears streaming hot and silent down his cheeks. Always afterward he felt like weeping bitterly, but couldn't understand why. What had he lost that he couldn't recall -- what was it? He dropped he face into his hands. He had a feeling that what he was experiencing was more than just dreams…visions maybe…of the future? Of the past? Memories of his victims? He didn't know and doubted he ever would. He told no one of this…not Folken, not his slayers, not the girl, not even Sylvana, his healer…no one. He didn't…he couldn't…he didn't know why, he just…couldn't. He felt as though he was finally losing what was left of his control…slipping forever into insanity…into eternal madness. The thought frightened him. He closed his eyes and let a single tear slide down his cheek. Everything was becoming lost in a perpetual downward spiral that no one could control, even if they knew about it. He felt cold inside, empty…as if the fire that had always fuelled him had finally burned down to embers. His slayers were breaking into two factions, those loyal to him and those with loyalties growing in strength for the beautiful and gentle-handed Sylvana. Nothing made sense anymore…nothing. He laid back down and simply stared into the darkness at the ceiling, willing the answer to come to him. It never came and he didn't sleep again until the horizon was brightening with soft rosy light.
*******
Viole stood on one of the over walks, watching the activity below. He'd never really done it before, but he found it oddly soothing. He almost envied them their steadfast certainty of what was happening and what was to come, even if they were ignorant of the infinite possibilities. So sure were they that the emperor saw all and knew all that they never paused to think that things might happen differently from what they expected or that their beloved leader could be mistaken. After all, Dornkirk, like them, was only human. Viole had been like them at one time until that woman and her child came by the order of Dilandau and turned everything upside-down and inside-out and in disarray so that he no longer knew sky from land or up from down. His certainty was lost when he'd spoken to them. Sylvana had announced, before all the dragon slayers, that she'd seen the destruction of Gaea…destruction caused because of toying with things that human hands should never touch, and meddling with forces that should be left to the gods to command. Viole had never been religious, but seeing Sylvana's display of magic, her manipulation of the unseen world, had made him believe, if not in the gods themselves, then in unseen forces at work that not even the great wonder of science could explain away. He watched the people below, blissful in their ignorance -- no thoughts of the disorder that the two young Laicar had unleashed into the fortress to act out its will. They could not know that the ranks of the dragon slayers were divided nearly in half -- those who had broken their loyalty to their captain in favour of the firm yet kind and gentle hand of a woman, the other willing to blindly follow their lord to the deepest pits of Hell. Viole held in a scoff, not understanding how such intelligent people could be so blind as to willingly follow a man who cared nothing for his troops…or so it seemed. He pulled back from the railing and proceeded on his way. He and his friends had an escape to devise…and they still had yet to agree on what would happen after.
*******
"No more! I won't drink another drop of that shit!" yelled Dilandau, knocking the clay mug from Sylvana's hand. The young woman's eyes went wide with first surprise and then unbridled anger.
"Bastard!" she shouted, "ungrateful whoreson! Do you have any idea what I've had to sacrifice to bring you this far?"
"Sacrifice? What have you sacrificed while I've laid here in this bed as you feed me teas and potions…" he made a sour face, "I won't wait any longer -- cast a spell, read and incantation…I don't care what you do, just make me well and do it now!" Sylvana turned away as if heading for the door and then turned back and rested her hands on the footboard of Dilandau's bed.
"It's not that simple…" she said, trying to give off at least some semblance of calm.
"Make it that simple," Dilandau snarled through nearly clenched teeth. Sylvana clutched the footboard so tightly that her knuckles turned white and her nails dug groove into the hard wood.
"I've been putting my everything into making you better…including my healing energy…I can't just snap my fingers and make your injury go away…it doesn't work that way…"
"You will find a way to make me battle ready again or…I'll make your child regret it…" Sylvana turned dead white.
"You wouldn't dare."
"Wouldn't I? Do it, girl, or it's your sweet brat who will be punished…" Sylvana felt her knees go slightly weak as she looked at the horribly pleased expression on the young lord's face. He had her and he knew it. Finally, she pried her fingers painfully from the board and backed toward the door a few steps before turning and bolting out of the room and down the corridor…nausea rising in the pit of her stomach
*******
Serene listened to the two inside the room as she pressed her back to the wall. As she listened she felt her cheeks grow hot and then her entire body went cold. He'd kill her…he really would! Unconsciously she lifted her hands to her throat as if she were choking. Moments later the door opened and Sylvana rushed out and away down the hall, not even noting the child with her back pressed against the wall as though she longed to become a part of it. Serene's mind raced faster than it ever had before…trying to figure something out…what she was to do to fix this. She knew that for her, Sylvana would give everything, heart, mind, life and soul, to protect her. She wouldn't let Sylvie die…no this would not be the place where she breathed her last breath. Young or not, Serene was as capable at devising a plan as one three times her age. She knew what she was to do and with resolve she turned and ran down the corridor in Sylvana's wake.
Chapter 28
Sylvana didn't stop running until she reached her room. She braced her hands against the wall as she bent until her forehead nearly touched it while she gasped for breath. Her mind raced frantically for a solution to meet the lord's demands. She couldn't let him harm Serene…but the bond she'd allowed to grow between him and her in order to heal him would not allow her to kill him. With a sudden flash of insight, a possible solution came to her. She straightened, tossing her head to shake stray locks from her eyes and then strode over to one of the shelves where her books were piled…some neatly, some randomly. Slowly she read the spines until she found the one she wanted…"Life and Light" the grimoire of one of the greatest healers of her people. She pulled it free and began to leaf through it almost idly with trembling hands, nearly passing the page she was searching for.
"Offer one's own energy for another," she murmured aloud…"One must freely, willingly give their own energy to heal another…" She frowned softly to herself digesting what it meant, 'Essentially, I have to die…' The thought of giving up her life for Dilandau made a bitter taste rise up in her mouth. The very idea of trading her life for the life of that man…that monster…no, she had to remind herself, no not for him -- for Serene. If she didn't do this, he'd kill her Serene. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath, gathering her resolve around her like a cloak. She had no choice. She snapped the book shut again and then began to gather up what she'd need.
*******
Viole entered the apartments to find Sylvana sifting through phials of ground herbs and flasks of strange liquors.
"I…we heard about what happened with the captain," he said.
"Really," she commented absently as she read the label on one of her flasks, "word travels fast."
"It's a small fortress…" He paused not entirely certain how to continue. "Sylvana," he started, then stopped, waiting for an acknowledging glance his way. After several long minutes she turned to look at him.
"What is it?"
"Come here…"
"What?"
"I want to show you something." Out in the corridor stood about six or seven of the other dragon slayers.
"What's this?" asked Sylvana, her tone wary.
"We pledge fealty to you, my lady," said one of the other slayers, his flaming red hair falling into his violet eyes somewhat. For a minute Sylvana thought she'd misheard.
"Come again?"
"We don't want to follow, Lord Dilandau anymore," said Chesta, "he's done a lot for us…he gave us our guymelefs…our high ranking positions in the empire…he is…was our patron --"
"But," cut in Viole suddenly, "he doesn't care about us…all he cares about is winning battles. You're as strong as him…and if you were given a title, we're all certain that it would be equal to his if it did not surpass it. We would rather die for one who had mastered the ability to be firm and yet gentle handed…"
"You're fools," replied Sylvana, her voice barely above a whisper…" you cannot pledge loyalty to one who is already dead…"
"What?"
"I have chosen to sacrifice myself to save Serene…and there is no more to say about this matter…excuse me." Sylvana turned to go back into her rooms, but Viole caught her arm.
"Wait," he said, his voice had a pleading edge to it. Sylvana's cheeks coloured slightly, showing her rising anger. She spoke quite calmly however.
"Kindly unhand me…"
"No…listen, we can help you escape…we can get you back to your people…"
"And after that? What then? What do you plan to do?"
"We haven't agreed on that yet," said the red head, "but we can't do this anymore…"
"He'll find out you know…" she said, her tone cool -- almost cold.
"It will take a while for him to do that…Please…" Sylvana tossed her head and threw up her hands in exasperation.
"Do what you will…but…for gods' sake, be careful doing it."
*******
Serene stole into her apartments just as Sylvana finished gathering up what she needed. Viole had agreed to be ready the next day, late morning to early afternoon and no later or Sylvana told him that she'd perform the spell and be done with it. Serene had over heard them talking and knew she had to work fast. As Sylvana disappeared into her chamber to get something or other Serene rifled through Sylvana's herbs and potions until she'd gathered what she needed. Hiding them in her kirtle, Serene slipped into her own room to make the dust she needed, after grabbing the book that explained what to do. It wasn't difficult; three ingredients and her breath that she would add last. She added the proper proportions to the small crystal vial and then placed the stopper in the top. She shook it gently until its colour was a vivid blue and then she knew it was ready. She slowly stood and left her room and entered the main room. Her heart was pounding, both with excitement of performing magic on her own and using it to help someone, and with fear of getting caught and getting a sever tongue lashing from Sylvana for dabbling in things she shouldn't yet be toying with. She found Sylvana resting on the couch. The woman's eyes were closed and she didn't yet seem aware of Serene's presence -- that was good. Gingerly, Serene unstopped the vial and spilled a small amount of the blue dust into her hand. She then blew gently across her palm and immediately the powder took to the air, swirling and dancing on a non-existent wind. It was then that Sylvana opened her eyes.
"Hey now…what's all this?" she demanded, but already she was growing weary.
"Sleep and dream, Sylvie," Serene whispered as her guardian's eyes drooped shut again. Serene stood a few moments until Sylvana's breath was slow and steady. She then began to throw together a weak tea so that she might have an excuse to visit Dilandau's quarters. When ready, she left the room and ran down the corridor as fast as her tiny legs would move. She wasn't at all surprised to find the youthful captain quite awake. She put on her cheery, childish and innocent demeanour as she put a kettle onto boil and poured the tealeaves into a cup.
"I told Sylvana I wouldn't drink any more of that -"
"Oh I know; she didn't send me. She fell asleep on the sofa, quite exhausted after preparing your cure. She said she was going to need all her strength tomorrow to work her magic and I thought you should have a good sleep too." She poured the water into the cup, letting the tea steep only for a minute. She added more than enough sweet honey and then gave it to Dilandau. "I guessed that if Sylvie needs her strength then you'll need yours too." Dilandau grunted and spent several moments staring into his cup. Serene waited patiently, rocking back and forth on her feet -- back onto her heals, forward onto her toes, backward…forward…backward…forward. Finally, most likely growing tired of entertaining her presence, Dilandau gulped down the tea.
"There…now go away you little brat." Serene smiled sweetly.
"Of course, Dilandau, dream well…" she then walked toward the door…pausing only a second to dust the air in his room with the light blue powder of dreams before exiting. Pleased that her scheme was falling into place so nicely, Serene danced down the corridor, back to her own apartments where she too would allow herself a sleep of sorts…
Chapter 29
Now, how did he get here? Dilandau turned in a circle taking in his surroundings. This place, it reminded him much of the Laicar vale where he'd spent those few weeks recovering from his crash -- but this place seemed…different for some reason. He first realized that it was not the Exiles' Vale after a few moments, but a place very like it…and still -- something seemed…off. Then there was the matter of how he got there in the first place…and how he was to get back from whence he came. He turned in another circle, bewildered by all the many paths there were to take, all laid out in the same white stones as the paths in the other vale had been. As he turned his second circle he thought he spotted a flash of movement and maybe a figured just vanishing into the half wild shrubbery. He narrowed his eyes against the glare of the sun, watching to see if he saw any more movement, half wondering if his barely rational mind was simply playing tricks on him, but just as he was about to turn away again, he saw a glimmer or flash as if the sun were glancing off of something metallic -- or some other reflective surface. Immediately he took off down that path, determined to get some answers one way or another.
The bushes seemed to hide spirits; rustles and whispers and even the odd giggle, or so it seemed, came from every direction. He thought he could feel eyes, ever present, ever on him as he headed down the path. Branches seemed to reach for him with gnarled fingers and the shadows seemed to crowd around him as if he attracted them to him. He thought he could feel fear rising in his throat, everything seemed to be spinning, all sense of control and symmetry spiralling into chaos. Everything suddenly seemed wrong…the trees, the ground, the sky…the world around him…even his life, who he was…it all seemed…wrong. His whole life suddenly felt like it didn't fit…as if it were an out fit that was too tight. That was when he stopped. He paused and simply stood where he was. Everything then seemed to stop spinning and turned back into what it was supposed to be. The trees were trees once more, there was no whispering or rustling in the bushes. Everything became calm, and still…and tranquil. He turned back to see how far he'd come and was astonished to find that he stood only a few feet from the eaves of the trees that shaded the path so nicely. What was going on here?
"Have an epiphany did you?" The voice was musical, gentle, humorous and familiar. He turned to find a lovely young woman sitting quite comfortably on a polished stone bench he had not realized was there before. She sat there -- tranquil -- a serene smile on her lips as she gazed up at him with sapphire eyes. Her golden tresses were partially piled up atop her head and held in place with a beautiful and delicate ivory comb inset with amber and citrine. The rest of her pale golden locks cascaded down over her shoulders, a lighter shade of gold against her warm golden dress.
"I know you," Dilandau stated.
"You do at that," was the reply. She didn't even bat an eyelash as she gazed at him with those intensely blue, feline eyes of hers, "better than you might think too." She then added, rising slowly, her grace making her appear to almost drift over the ground as she made her way down the path. "Come with me; I'll shoe you why you are here." Half numb and feeling unable to argue with this entrancing woman, he did as she bade him.
It wasn't long before they came to a clearing -- a grove of some sort. The light filtered down through the trees so that it was dappled with soft shadows…and yet the grove glowed with an almost ethereal light from an unknown source. He spotted a third figure and immediately recognised the think, iridescent, silvery locks. Sylvana turned around to face them both just as they entered.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded immediately.
"I could ask the same of you." She replied, "and of me for that matter…"
"What is this place?"
"Well, it looks like the sacred Grove of Truths back in the Vale of Auraborea…but truly…we're in the Realm of Dreams…"
"Quite right, Sylvie," replied the young golden woman heading away from them and toward the centre where stood two slender saplings, insignificant compared to the huge and hoary trees that sheltered the grove with their tangled and intertwining boughs. The two sapling trees curved gracefully, their branches embracing each other so that together they formed an arch. In return the arch held in it what appeared to be a sheet of fine glass that reflected the sun and almost seemed to be a sort of -- mirror.
"Serene," said Sylvana taking a few steps toward the younger woman, the long skirt of her white dress flowing around her so that the sun caught it and seemed to turn it almost translucent, so fine and gauzy the material was. The other turned and Dilandau finally truly saw her. Indeed, it was Serene…or who she'd be when she reached Sylvana's age. No wonder he was so sure he knew her. "Why are we here, Serene? What did you do?" Serene smiled -- she was dazzlingly beautiful and she simply radiated goodness…and kindness.
"It's time for you to know the truth…to remember," she said to Dilandau, "You, Sylvie, are here as a witness. You too need to know what is truth…and what has been fabricated…created by evil and non-magic that some try to pawn off as what it is not." Serene indicated the mirror, "but you must see and know for yourself, only then will you truly understand and be able to find your way back to your rightful fate…your true path in life, Dilandau. Go, look…tell me what you see, what hidden truth the mirror reveals to you." Dilandau hesitated, a simple thought flashing through his mind…this was foolishness. A mirror was a mirror, it reflected back light, the image of that which stood before it and no more, but he was almost compelled to do as Serene bade him…as if he were ensorcelled by her. He slowly approached the mirror, but then froze, wondering if he was hallucinating. The glass appeared to be shimmering, rippling as water does when disturbed. However, only a few heartbeats past before he was approaching the mirror once more. Once before it he stood and gazed into its depths. At first all he saw was what he'd been expecting, the reflected image of himself…
"Look deeper," whispered Serene's voice, sounding as though she were right next to him speaking in his ear, though he knew she stood halfway between him and the path out of the grove.
"What do you mean…look deeper?" he asked, turning away to look at the golden woman. Serene gestured to the mirror again.
"Look with your spirit, not your eyes. Use the mirror to delve into yourself…" Dilandau's brows furrowed. Normally he would have never even been humouring her. He would have scoffed and told her just what she could do and where exactly she could go, but not here…not now. His frustration simmering just below the surface, he turned back to the mirror. This time, though he was sure he'd done nothing different, the mirror rippled again as if it were made of cloth rather than glass and it was as if it were rustling in a gentle breeze. As the movement subsided and the imaged returned, he could see that it had changed, but, it wasn't him he saw…it wasn't even male. Rather, before him stood a young woman, about his age he guesses…blue eyed and blond haired she wore Asturian style clothing and she looked back at him, her eyes, though brimming with compassion, seemed sad. She reached out to him with one hand and that was when he tore himself away.
"What is this?" he demanded fiercely, "Who is she; who is that girl?" Sylvana's pale eyes were also quite wide. Usually visions were difficult to interpret, but that…that was surreal. Serene smiled at the two of them.
"If you do not remember her Dilandau, then you must continue deeper into the depths of the Dream Realm…and farther down the Path of Truth," she told him. She then held out to him a pink flower and a feather -- a feather that seemed to be made of fire. The flower and feather both were tied together by a blue ribbon…"These are your keys, Dilandau, do not lose them. Sylvana will go with you. I however, am afraid that I must remain here to watch your progress and to be certain you do not get lost. When you find what you seek…this…" she indicated the world around them with a broad sweep of her arm, "this will fade and you will wake. Good luck to you both."
*******
Sylvana still didn't quite understand. She stood before the mirror and then turned to Dilandau.
"Well then," she said coolly, "we'd better get on with it. The sooner we get this over with the sooner I'll be free of you." She reached her hand forward as if to touch the glass. The supposedly solid surface rippled -- at first only slightly, but then more and more until it resembled water on a windy day. Sylvana's hand, rather than resting upon the surface like it should have were the mirror not the mystical medium it was, passed cleanly through it. She pulled her hand back and then cast another glance at Dilandau. "Right," she said, "let's go then." That said she walked to the magical gate and vanished.
*******
Dilandau stood there for what seemed like forever. Sylvana was gone -- gone! The mirror had swallowed her. He could feel his nerves screaming at him that this was a mistake, but he told himself that what all this was, was a dream and that dreams couldn't harm him. He repeated it again and again, a mantra to sooth his nerves until he once more found his courage and felt that he could face whatever waited for him on the other side of the mirror-gate.
Chapter 30
Authors Note: The idea for these next chapters was borrowed from a story by the wonderful author Hitome-sama, whose fic 'Rain Washes Everything Away' I thoroughly enjoyed. Only the general idea was borrowed, nothing had been plagiarized in anyway, and I apologise to the author if she considers this any kind of offence.
He'd been prepared for many things, but not this, not Pallas -- not the Vernal Festival. Dilandau didn't recognise anyone as he glanced around -- well, no one but the young woman with the silver locks and the feline eyes that stood next to him.
"Why are we here?" he demanded of her. Her glance was quick and sharp.
"Well, how should I know? Serene is the one who contrive this, not me."
"Do you recognise this?"
"I do…I do indeed…This is the Vernal Festival…but not just any one…this is the one from eleven years ago…I was five summers."
*******
'The Vernal Festival of my fifth summer…' What did this have to do with the captain? She recognised the sweet familiar flute music her mother used to play. She ever so slowly wove her way through the crowd, aware that they didn't see her…or if they did, didn't seem too concerned. She finally stopped, not too far from the makeshift stage. She simply stood a few minutes listening to the sweet, airy music. Something strange happened then. It was as if something were compelling her to look away and into the crowd. There amidst the milling people she spotted two children. One was of her own people, her silver tresses pulled back and held in place with a greed cord. She felt her heart lurch. Why, that tiny sweet creature was herself…and who was that with her? All golden curls and china blue eyes, a second little girl danced and played along side her silvery counter part. Sylvana frowned a moment and then smiled.
'I almost forgot this,' she thought to herself, 'I almost forgot my young friend -- but what has all this got to do with Dilandau?'
"I'm having trouble understanding the point of this." She nearly jumped at the male voice next to her, "What has all this got to do with me?" Dilandau asked her.
"That's the very question I was just asking myself," she replied, "what does all this have to do with you? This seems to concern me more." She gestured to the two little girls who were by now being split apart by their parents. The silvery child handed to her golden counterpart a flaming feather. "I wonder what happened to her…" Sylvana murmured to herself, "I never did see her again after that." She shook her head, "and what's more, I wonder how this relates to you." As if taking her cue from her, the world around them wavered, rippled and then changed. It became a vast green field, patched with pink where clusters of small pink flowers grew together in bunches. Now, Sylvana knew quite clearly that this was one place she hadn't seen before, so it would be up to Dilandau to solve the question.
*******
Where were they now? This was still Asturia, he didn't know how he knew it, but he did. He scanned the area until his eyes alighted on two…no, three figures in the distance. As if drawn to them, he approached them silently. As he drew closer he could tell that the figures were that of a young girl and boy frolicking together among the flowers. A little off to the side was a lovely woman -- maybe in her late twenties or early thirties and probably the mother of the two children. As he watched the children play, Dilandau felt he recognised them…especially the boy…in some strange way. The recognition came to him in a rush so sudden he almost felt dizzy. That boy was Alan Schezar! He couldn't believe it. He then had to assume that the little girl was his sister. Strange how he'd never even imagined that the handsome and gallant knight might have any siblings. Looking at the girl of about five or six he though that, like Serene, she probably would be dazzlingly beautiful. She'd also probably be betrothed if not wedded by now as well, since, judging by the age difference between the young siblings, he could guess that she'd be about his age by now. There was something else about this scene however. It seemed almost -- familiar to him, though he couldn't begin to imagine why…and the little girl…she too was frighteningly familiar to him. He felt cold all of a sudden; there was something very wrong about all this, it was almost a sense of foreboding. Almost as if he knew that this deep tranquility would be shattered…by what? He couldn't know. He watched silently as the girl offered a large bouquet of pink flowers to her brother and then, with a mischievous giggle, ran off into the meadow as the boy watched after her. Dilandau looked up at the sky to see dark menacing clouds looming as if they were an ill omen. The swift and crafty winds blew the storm clouds in with surprising speed, following behind their foreboding charges to announce the beginning of a most wicked storm. Also seeing this the young boy began to call out to his sister, but his voice was snatched away by the evil, treacherous winds before it had barely left his lips. Dilandau thought he could hear the screams of a frightened child just barely over the howling wind, and with that awareness came another scene change.
The little girl screamed and wailed as the men grabbed her and dragged her away. Dilandau could see the young Alan just barely off on the other side of the meadow. Dilandau recognised the crest of Zaibach the men bore and felt suddenly ice cold.
"Outrage of outrages!" snarled a voice right next to Dilandau's ear, "so you're not only tyrants, you're also in the business of kidnapping helpless children as well." Dilandau turned to look at Sylvana. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her pale eyes glittered so fiercely that it seemed as though they should belong to a wild animal and not a person, let alone a beautiful young woman like herself.
"I never knew anything about this," protested Dilandau, "I had no idea that these sorts of things even took place. We've recruited many people, but -- children are children."
"What happened to her? What did they do with her, Dilandau?"
"I already told you…I don't know!" he yelled back at her.
"Well then…what do you think they might have done with her?" Dilandau looked back at the girl, her sapphire eyes wide with pure fright. He felt strange, as if something inside of him were fraying. He could feel nausea rising up from the pit of his stomach.
"I wish I knew, but I don't," he replied in a suddenly very sombre and subdued voice.
*******
Sylvana was surprised by Dilandau's tone. With his final words, things changed again. Now they were inside.
"Where are we now?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper and she took in the ominous and forbidding surroundings.
"This is Zaibach…that much I know," was Dilandau's reply. A child's helpless and frightened weeping caught the attention of the two then. They turned and there they saw the little girl, weeping with fear.
"Somebody help me," she pleaded around her choked sobs, "Mama, Alan, anyone, I don't want to be alone -- please don't leave me here all alone."
*******
Dilandau felt his blood run ice cold. He knew this…he didn't know how -- but he knew he did. Shaking, he took a tentative step toward the terrified, weeping little girl. He could feel her fear rising up in him, her sheer and utter terror.
"Dilandau?" Sylvana's voice was puzzled.
"I know this," Dilandau choked out as he sank to his knees, never removing his eyes from the girl, "I know this."
"How?" asked Sylvana, taking a step toward him, but then stopping herself, "how could you know this?" Dilandau looked up at her and her heart nearly froze in her chest at the pain in the young captain's eyes.
"I don't…that is I can't…I -" his voice vanished as his lips moved soundlessly. Sylvana strode to him, knelt down before him and gripped his shoulders.
"Tell me," she hissed, giving him a bit of a shake, "What is this? What's going on?" she had never seen that kind of terror in anyone's eyes before, but she could see that the fear reflected in Dilandau's garnet eyes, was mirrored in the eyes of the child. "Dilandau?" she cried, gripping the captain's face with her hands so that he was forced to look her in the eye, "tell me what is happening!" His breath was ragged with fear, and he jumped slightly as he heard the sound of steel grating on steel, as the dungeon doors were unlocked. Through the door entered a young dog-man. Upon seeing him, the little girl flung herself into his arms.
"Jajuka!" she cried and then burst into fresh tears. After a very few short minutes, several guards appeared. They ripped the little girl away from the protesting dog-man, who begged them to leave her alone. The little girl wailed and cried out to Jajuka as a group of guards beat him until he bled.
"No!" cried Dilandau, "Stop!" Sylvana felt her own fear rise.
"Dilandau!" she cried, all semblance of calm shattered, the fear and panic utterly clear in her choked voice, "Dilandau, please, tell me what's happening. I don't understand how this relates to you." She could feel fear and pain radiating from him. It was so intense that it nearly knocked her flat.
"Don't let them hurt her!" he pleaded with Sylvana, "make them stop!"
"I can't!" cried Sylvana, "these are only images of what has already been…" Then something suddenly clicked, "They're only memories." She looked at Dilandau, "Yours, they're your memories, aren't they?" Her words shattered everything. The connection had been made, they both understood, the fraying cord snapped and like a flood tide after a dam had been broken, everything, all of Dilandau's memories of those five lost years washed over him. As everything came back, the terror, the torment of the experiments the Zaibach sorcerers had subjected him to, Dilandau finally felt himself fall apart and he dissolved into tears…helpless, hopeless tears of complete and utter despair. Sylvana pulled the weeping form of the captain into her arms and let him weep into her chest as she watched the final scene. She felt horror and pure disgust wash over her as she watched the 'sorcerers' perform their dark 'magic' on the little girl. How dare they pawn off something like that as magic. She knew that it was not what they were performing. The child screamed and wailed in fear and pain as they worked their tests on her. Sylvana finally had to looked away, already aware of what the final result would be. She felt cold and sick. She had always known the kind of cruelty humans were capable of…but this -- this crossed every line there was.
"Outrage of outrages," she snarled to herself.
Chapter 31
Dilandau was sunk so deep in his misery, his long unclaimed memories plaguing him, tormenting him so that he wanted to howl like a madman, that it took him a fair while to realize where he was. He and Sylvana were back in the sun and shadows of the ancient grove. She still had him in her arms, and he could feel her run her long slender fingers through his hair as she tried in some way to comfort him. With a sniff and a grunt he pulled away from her and stood on shaky legs. She was silent as he did this. She didn't mock him, nor did she ask him such condescending questions such as if he were all right. She simply knelt there, her hands resting on her thighs. He turned his back to her, not wanting her to see what he'd been reduced to, and still he could feel her eyes on him, burning into his back. He took a few moments to identify his feelings. Most he recognised straight off. Rage, hatred, pain, but there was one that took him a little longer. He turned it over in his mind more than once before recognising it. Shame…it was shame. He now looked back on all the things he'd done and nearly felt ill with guilt. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry -- laugh at himself for allowing himself to become so suddenly weak because of a few memories that might as well have been from a former life, or cry because he could see what others saw, that he had allowed himself to become a horrible and twisted monster that thirsted for blood but could never be quenched and hungered for power but could never be satisfied.
"Dilandau?" He jumped; he'd forgotten Sylvana there at his back. She'd uttered no sound for the longest time. He held up a hand in a gesture that meant she should be silent.
"Whatever you have to say, don't," he said before turning around to face her, "I don't need to hear your taunts, or worse your platitudes." Sylvana looked up at him in silence a few moments before standing.
"I was neither planning to taunt you nor patronize you, Dilandau," she said, her voice calm, but hard. He could see anger flashing like two dancing flames in her ice-pale eyes, and it dawned on him that it had been a long while since he'd seen her eyes smoulder like that, almost seeming to glow. He realized that for a fair length of time those orbs that always seemed to reflect her fiery spirit had been dead and lifeless. He really had nearly crushed her spirit. "I was going to ask you what you plan to do now. Now that you know your past, are you going to go on as you have been and forget who you were…who you still can be? Or are you going to embrace your true path and try to reclaim that which is rightfully yours -- your life." Dilandau opened his mouth to speak, but his voice failed him. He didn't know. For the first time in his life he didn't know what he should do. He clenched his hands in an unsuccessful attempt to hide their shaking. He tried to cover up his fear and confusion, but couldn't, and he knew that Sylvana saw his weakness as clear as clear. He felt hot tears trickling down his cheeks and brushed them away quickly with an impatient hand, furious with himself for letting himself fall apart like this, but then he saw Sylvana's face soften. She canted her head slightly as she regarded him silently. With all her shields dropped he could see her own fear, her own raw pain that she'd kept hidden for…only the gods knew how long. She'd kept it all hidden away and in its place put on a mask of strength, and anger and hate, not just for the sake of her child, not just to put off Dilandau, but for herself so that she didn't have to acknowledge the pain, the grief, the sorrow that was devouring her from the inside out. Upon that comprehension he found that his weak foundations, on which he was trying to build up his own protective walls again, were crumbling, and at that moment it all came crashing down around him, and he sank to the ground, dissolving once more into tears.
*******
For a few minutes, Sylvana didn't know what to do. Here was her hated enemy suddenly showing something else other that his cruel, cold façade. Suddenly she could see just how lost and confused he was. Suddenly she understood that he was like everyone, in need of comfort and understanding. He was indeed human, not some storybook monster that felt nothing and revelled in its evil. She knelt down next to him and laid a hand lightly on his shoulder.
"Dilandau," she said softly. When he looked at her, uncertainty in those normally cold garnet eyes, she could see that he was as frightened and confused as she was; with what he had always perceived at his life in shambles, as it came crashing down atop his head, as hers had when she'd first lost her mother, and then Adriel, "I'm sorry…" she said.
*******
Her voice was just barely audible, sounding as tiny and lost as he felt at that moment. She brushed some of his tears away with a gentle hand, but said nothing else. He sniffed once and then willed himself to stop weeping.
"Why are you doing this?" he demanded fiercely, "comforting me, why?" She shook her head and met his eyes.
"I don't know," she admitted, "I suppose I feel -- responsible in one way or another. I suppose I feel I should have seen it, I knew something wasn't right…your aura screamed it, but I hated you so much that I stopped caring. Serene knew though, she saw the truth and decided we both needed to know too. I'm sorry because I should have kept trying…I gave up. Twice the fool, once for stopping when I knew I shouldn't and twice for giving into my anger and hate."
"It doesn't matter…" he muttered.
"Of course it does…it matters more than anything possibly can. They stole your life. They stole who you are and replaced it with something foul. No creature, not of the living, nor of the dead, nor of the Dark Realms, not the Astral, nor the Hells, nor the Havens, have the right to do that to any being. It is the greatest sin of any. They should be flayed alive for such a crime. You were a child…an innocent, helpless child. What they did to you is inexcusable…do you hear me? Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? None of what you've done it your fault…it's theirs." He shook his head and pushed himself to his feet.
"So what if it is?" he demanded, "I can't take any of it back. I can't go back to Fanelia and magically restore it. I can't bring back all the innocent people I killed. Maybe I was an innocent child all those years ago, but I was only one child. I've killed hundreds of times that by now. No one is going to care about what happened in my past. I'm still a monster…and their blood is still on my hands…" Sylvana stood slowly and gazed at him.
"Maybe so…and no the past can't be changed…but the future can, and that, Dilandau, is what is important…"
"You hypocrite -"
"That's right…I am a hypocrite…I do dwell on the past…I do brood. My mother was killed and my people banished me from my home because of an accident…or so the Elders claim. Truth be told, they were afraid of me…of the changes I represented. I accidentally killed a dear friend. In a fit of rage I lost control of my empathic gift, and just like that I gave the elders the excuse they were searching for to be rid of me. Then, some arrogant bastard, who thinks he's a gift from the gods to the world, takes me away from my family…then he has the person I loved more than my breath and my blood, who was my reason for living and my reason for dying…who was my entire life and my entire world, murdered when he's unsuspecting, all the while commanding me to drain myself to my very last drop of strength so that he and his men can keep fighting their god-be-damned battle. Then, when he nearly dies, which I wholly admit was my fault, demands that I heal him straight away when I've been giving my all to help him heal…without I might add, a single drop of gratitude in return. Of course the only way for me to fully restore him would be for me to trade my life in return for his…so I think, given the circumstances of my misbegotten life that I DAMN WELL BLOODY DESERVE TO BROOD!!!!!" Dilandau was struck dumb by what she'd told him. In a way she'd just revealed her entire life to him…why she'd been exiled, why she wallowed in such misery even before he'd taken her as his healer. Tears were now streaming down her own cheeks, and she brushed at them fiercely as she tried to stifle her sobs.
"I -" he started.
"Listen to me, Dilandau. You are not a bad person…not truly…"
"How can you say that after the things I've done? How can you look me in the eyes and tell me that when you know full well all the crimes I've committed, all the innocent people I've killed. I threatened you're little girl for god's sake…I threatened to torture you if you didn't do as I commanded. How -"
"Because it's true, and you know I'm right. Who they made you is not who you truly are…and you have the power to change that. Fate is not fixed, Dilandau. It isn't something that defines who and what you are…neither does it govern your entire life. Fate, Dilandau, is a path…a rode and nothing more. They dragged you off that path and into the woods where you were forced to fend for yourself and create your own path, but I can lead you back to the right one. Just as Fate is a rode, Destiny is the tapestry woven by the decisions you make in life…not predestination…let me help you…"
"You can't help me…Look at me…they made me a monster…it's what I am and nothing you or I or anyone else says or does will change that…"
"You're wrong…you know you're wrong. Listen, you are stronger than they are. Show them how much stronger you are. You have a will of iron…You don't have to play the pawn in this badly played game of chess if you don't want to. Break away from them…they can only control you if you let them…I promise, I can help you…and I will if you ask me to…"
"But, why? Why would you help me?"
"Because…I care, Dilandau…" Again he was struck dumb. She cared? About him? "I know you can fight this, Dilandau and I know you can win…I understand and I want to help…" He shook his head, more tears springing to his eyes, a bitter smile touching his lips. He felt so helpless.
"No one can help me," he whispered.
"Only if you won't let them," Sylvana murmured, coming up beside him, "and only if you don't believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, then believe in me, because I can believe in you enough for the two of us…" She graced him with a rare smile that lit up her face and made her ice-pale eyes dance, "I know that you'll do what you feel in your heart of hearts is right…" she said softly, "I'm going to go now…" She reached up and brushed her soft, supple lips against his cheek, "good-night, captain…" She then turned away and headed down the path. He watched her, her translucent white dress billowing about her making her appear to be almost floating as if she were a phantom, until she seemed to vanished like a mist. Could he really do what she said? Could he really take back his life? She believed he could…she believed he was good…she believed him worth saving…and she believed he could believe…and he was beginning to. Her sincere belief in him somehow gave him enough strength to also believe. He glanced about him, finally spotting the golden woman who had brought him and Sylvana to this place. She had a warm smile on her face and when he looked at her she nodded to him as if in approval. He took a moment more to gather back his strength and courage and then followed after Sylvana down the path, hoping that they'd both remember when they woke.
Folken sat quietly in his chambers reflecting on the strangeness of Dilandau's illness. He'd just been informed that the young captain was once more conscious, but was still unfit for duty, and would be for a while if his specially selected healer had indeed spoke true. Folken frowned at the thought of that strange young woman. Why had Dilandau been so adamant that she join them on the fortress? Folken had a feeling that it partially had to do with Dilandau's discomfort and deep dislike of the Zaibach sorcerers. Folken himself had not approved, but had accepted her presence just the same even thought he agreed with the other regular soldiers and guards aboard the Vione that the flying fortress was not place for women…and even less a place for children. That small girl had no place aboard the Vione, but the woman had been adamant about the child and Dilandau had been even more adamant about her. Folken had to wonder if there was something more going on between Dilandau and this woman, Folken had thought she'd appeared quite distressed over the captain's sudden illness, and yet there had seemed to be something about her manner when it came to the young man -- was it apprehension he'd seen? Normally the stratago was good at guessing feelings in others, but this woman, it seemed, was quite good at disguising her feelings, something rarely seen in most women. In the women he'd come across in his life, it had seemed that they preferred to express their emotions with a fair amount of openness, or were just not too good at disguising them. If they fancied a man, they often went out of their way to make it clear, flirting and preening and flaunting their fripperies, but this one -- she made him apprehensive while intriguing him at the same time. He'd never seen her clan before either. Surely she wasn't human -- or at least not fully human, not with those ears and eyes certainly. Part cat perhaps? He knew that it sometimes happened, though vary rarely, that a human and a cat-person would marry and even have children. It was possible -- though perhaps improbable. She had neither the mannerisms of cat nor human. She, though he'd seen her only a few times and spoken to her less, seemed quite wary and mistrustful of humans, so that suggested that she had not been raised by them. But her style of dress, her speech and accent, and other subtle things protested that cats had not raised her either, so that pretty much refuted that theory. He furrowed his brow unconsciously as he considered other possibilities. Dilandau had never told him where he'd come across her, but the time he'd brought her aboard pointed to the festival. Was she one of those strange people who came to Asturia twice a year to throw their renowned festivals? He himself had never been to the festivals, nor had he met the people who seemed to appear from nowhere and leave the same way. He'd wanted to when he'd been a child and he'd heard stories about them from others. Some described them as part cat, others as part dragon. He'd heard many descriptions from his friends too; those who had known people who had gone. One of his friends told him that he'd overheard his sister say that they had the eyes of a dragon and the ears of a cat and voices like wind and water. He had said that they were slender like reeds and graceful like willows and that they were so brilliantly beautiful that no one could look directly upon their faces lest they go blind. Another of his friends had heard them described as being draconic with the eyes of a dragon and glistening scales on their necks, shoulders and arms. They moved with deliberate grace, had long sharp nails on their hands, not unlike claws, and had dangerous smiles. Some said they had voices like mermaids, other said they were similar to the myths' descriptions of siren voices. Some said they looked almost like regular people; others described them as being somewhat animalistic. Despite the many different accounts though, all were agreed on two things, first, they were all graceful and slender for the most part. Some of the elderly of their people were perhaps plump, but none were ever fat. Second, they, every last one of them, were strikingly beautiful to look at, far more beautiful than the normal human. Recalling this from his childhood, Folken could see that some of these descriptions did indeed match the strange healer somewhat. Though she was hardly blinding to look upon, indeed her beauty was striking, yes, she would indeed stand out in a crowd; neither did she have dragon scales or claws. She did, however, have a sweet musical voice that did seem clear like water and it's sweetness was almost as the myths described the voices of the seductive sirens, though no temptress she. Yet, he didn't trust her. There was something in her eyes that had spooked him a little when he first gazed into them, almost as if he were looking into two fountains that showed the past -- and the past could be something that even the strong hearted may fear looking into. He recalled having a flashback to his childhood when he'd first looked into those pale eyes and it had unnerved him to say the least. What he'd seen was something he'd long long ago forgotten. A step too near to death that he'd blocked it out to cease his terrifying nightmares. He shivered -- no, he did not like her at all.
*******
Dilandau opened his eyes still feeling weary and then napped them open, suddenly alert. Next to him, leaning back against the wall, knees pulled to her chest and chin resting on her knees was Sylvana's little girl. She was looking right at him as though she'd anticipated the exact moment he'd wake. Silently she turned away a moment and then took a mug that was sitting on the table next to his bed, in her small hands and held it out to him, still not breathing a syllable. Dilandau's brows furrowed and then he slowly sat up, wincing as white hot pain lanced through his head like lightening, momentarily dazzling his eyes. He leaned back against the pillows and then frowned, as he looked the child up and down before finally taking the clay mug from her tiny hands. She smiled quite charmingly at him as he grimaced at the foul taste and then let a sweet musical giggle escape her throat.
"I should have warned you," she said in he tiny child's voice, "that is the worst stuff ever concocted by the healers…" She made a face playfully and then rested her cheek on her knees as she studied him with her dancing blue eyes, her gentle, innocent smile still remaining. It was almost infectious and as Dilandau cast a glance at her he wondered why she had no fear of him…something he couldn't quite grasp. Sylvana, though he even had a hard time wrapping his mind around her fearlessness toward him, he could almost understand. She'd never been taught to fear men, never been taught her proper place. Most women were expected to happily serve men, but not her…why was it not like that with her? But this child…surely she'd seen things, or at least heard things about him that were enough to make a child quake inside with fear of him. Though she was young still…and so very innocent, hadn't she heard about hid feats in battle, the men he'd slain…anything? He knew that children were easily controlled; children's stories, old wives tales, they all existed to manipulate children into behaving and to do what was expected in later years…and yet, what was it about this child?! He frowned and took another sip and winded again at its offensive taste.
"Is it true that you're a demon?" she asked suddenly in a soft voice. Dilandau nearly spat out his mouthful of potion. He swallowed and then turned to look at her, astonishment nearing the point of incredulity showing in his garnet eyes. He was about to hurl something cruel and biting at her, but stopped for some reason.
"Who told you that?" he demanded instead. The child didn't quail or even blanch, instead she sat up straighter and met his eyes squarely.
"No one," she said, "but there is a story in a book about a demon that leads an army to destroy the world. He was tall and menacing, but dreadfully beautiful except for his glowing red eyes…" Dilandau frowned as Serene gazed into the distance, her brows knitting so that they almost appeared to be about to touch. "Anya said that you might destroy the world…and…and you're so…so mean to everyone…your men don't like you…and Sylvie hates you…She doesn't hate many people so she must have a good reason…" she met his eyes again, "Why do you want to destroy the world?"
"I don't want to destroy the world you little fool!"
"No? Then…then why do you fight people…and…and…" she lowered her voice, "I heard that you ordered your men to destroy and entire country…" Dilandau pulled back…who told the little brat that? He felt his cheeks grow hot.
"So what if I did?" he demanded.
"Well…it's a monstrously terrible thing to do…so many innocent people…many must have died and many more no longer have homes and…and i-it's just…mean! Think of yourself as one the those people…put yourself in their place…how do you think you'd feel?" Dilandau scoffed.
"Now you listen to me, little girl…you know nothing about any of this…war, battle, honour -"
"Is there honour in destroying whole countries when they are unsuspecting? Is there honour in attacking your enemy from behind?" Where had that come from? For a moment the little girl had ceased to be a little girl and for a moment he thought he spoke to a wise and aged woman, but the illusion passed equally as fast and the little girl was once more just that. Her sapphire orbs were now very serious and looking into them he felt as though he were swept up in a sea of blue. "I just want to know why?" She said, her voice tiny again.
"Why do I do it?" He looked at her with unhidden surprise, "Why do I do it? Why does anyone do what they do? I live for it. The rush, the power, the knowledge that I'm going to win and they are going to lose…" Serene shook her head, her soft waves rippling softly.
"What about the people you hurt? What about the people who die? Do you even take a moment to consider them, their families? Don't you have a family?" Again he was shocked into momentary silence. He had to think back, his brows creasing as he did, but once he reached his sixth year he recalled nothing else, as if he hadn't existed before then.
"No," he said finally.
"None?"
"If I did, I don't remember…"
"Oh…my Mam…she's dead," Serene said, her voice barely above a whisper, "and my Da…he…I don't see him…he's different from most of the rest of the people…I don't know where he is or what he does...My sisters are with him too, so…so Sylvie and her sisters and brother are my only family I guess…" Why was she telling him this? "I don't remember my Da either…and I miss my Mam…" He felt strange. He'd never felt like this before. He thought it might be sympathy -- he thought he might even have a strange affinity toward the little thing. He said nothing however…after all, when had he ever been soft? Serene continued to study him with those bottomless azure eyes. The next words that came from her mouth were no less surprising than anything else she'd said before.
"Dilandau…why…why do you want to upset Sylvie? Why do you want to make her weep?" Dilandau whipped his head around to look at Serene so fast that it was a wonder he didn't hurt his neck.
"W-what?" he demanded
"You've taken her away from those who care about her, you killed the only man she ever loved…y-you treat her horribly…She weeps almost every night before she sleeps. You must want to make her or you wouldn't be so horrible to her and do such dreadful things…so I want to know why…why do you want to make her weep?"
'I make her weep?' Dilandau hadn't known that Sylvana wept that often. She usually showed such a hard strong façade when facing him that he'd never paused to think that she might weep as other women do. He wouldn't have believed it if it had been anyone other than this sweet, innocent, naive little girl telling him.
"I don't want to," he replied, "but if I do then that's just too damn bad. In my world women do what they're told and they don't argue about it, neither do they take up a sword against the one they serve as she serves me."
"She doesn't live in your world," replied Serene calmly sitting up rigidly straight, "She's Laicar and Laicar women are their own people. They follow no man's orders unless they wish to, or are fighting in the army. She will never give into your rules…not ever…you will be fighting her forever unless one of you breaks…and I'd wager it'll not be her…" That said, Serene slid off the bed and made her way toward the door. Dilandau had a feeling, even though she had not thrown a tantrum or even raised her voice, that the girl was upset if not angry and need sometime to think.
Chapter 27
Sylvana had never been more exhausted in her life. Nursing the young captain took more out of her than she would have expected. Of course, she had to remind herself that she was no longer in the vale or even on the ground and that she no longer had a nexus to draw from in order to conserve her strength. Dilandau was getting better, however slowly and since he no longer needed anything elaborate, only rest and her herbal teas, she could finally rest some. Serene was good about taking over for her when she had nothing left in her and needed to go take a much-needed rest. Sylvana was indeed surprised by the child's startlingly strong gifts to heal and comfort -- and her compassion and kindness indeed seemed boundless. Not even the cold-hearted Dilandau could anger her too greatly and Sylvana could sense that the little creature had no taint of hate on her heart or in her soul -- not even the tiniest traces. Serene's goodness, her kindness, her purity, her innocence were overwhelming when Sylvana met it full force. It was even stronger than her own rage. She wished at times that she could be like her sylph, but it always felt like the feelings of kindness and compassion were beyond her capacity -- just outside of her grasp and it saddened her that she no longer knew the child-like innocence she'd known at Serene's age. She wondered about Dilandau -- she was sensing more and more confusion swirling about his mind every day. She knew that Serene was speaking with him often, and she wondered if the seraph had anything to do with it. Things were growing stranger by the day. Something was happening among the slayers as well, but what? She couldn't tell. She could feel disorder lurking close at hand, waiting for one small incident to set things in motion -- to make the tenuous control that dominated the Vione unravel like an unfinished tapestry. She felt it every day, growing ever-stronger…disorder growing ever closer to swallowing them all and chaos just waiting to be unleashed on all of Gaea to suck them into the eternal abyss.
*******
Dilandau woke with a violent jolt and sat up. Another dream -- another one he recalled only fragments of; a field, a young boy, a kind, gentle woman…little more. He remembered very little of these dreams, but always he woke in the same way…trembling like a child, broken out in an icy sweat, his heart pounding as if it wished to leap from his chest, and tears streaming hot and silent down his cheeks. Always afterward he felt like weeping bitterly, but couldn't understand why. What had he lost that he couldn't recall -- what was it? He dropped he face into his hands. He had a feeling that what he was experiencing was more than just dreams…visions maybe…of the future? Of the past? Memories of his victims? He didn't know and doubted he ever would. He told no one of this…not Folken, not his slayers, not the girl, not even Sylvana, his healer…no one. He didn't…he couldn't…he didn't know why, he just…couldn't. He felt as though he was finally losing what was left of his control…slipping forever into insanity…into eternal madness. The thought frightened him. He closed his eyes and let a single tear slide down his cheek. Everything was becoming lost in a perpetual downward spiral that no one could control, even if they knew about it. He felt cold inside, empty…as if the fire that had always fuelled him had finally burned down to embers. His slayers were breaking into two factions, those loyal to him and those with loyalties growing in strength for the beautiful and gentle-handed Sylvana. Nothing made sense anymore…nothing. He laid back down and simply stared into the darkness at the ceiling, willing the answer to come to him. It never came and he didn't sleep again until the horizon was brightening with soft rosy light.
*******
Viole stood on one of the over walks, watching the activity below. He'd never really done it before, but he found it oddly soothing. He almost envied them their steadfast certainty of what was happening and what was to come, even if they were ignorant of the infinite possibilities. So sure were they that the emperor saw all and knew all that they never paused to think that things might happen differently from what they expected or that their beloved leader could be mistaken. After all, Dornkirk, like them, was only human. Viole had been like them at one time until that woman and her child came by the order of Dilandau and turned everything upside-down and inside-out and in disarray so that he no longer knew sky from land or up from down. His certainty was lost when he'd spoken to them. Sylvana had announced, before all the dragon slayers, that she'd seen the destruction of Gaea…destruction caused because of toying with things that human hands should never touch, and meddling with forces that should be left to the gods to command. Viole had never been religious, but seeing Sylvana's display of magic, her manipulation of the unseen world, had made him believe, if not in the gods themselves, then in unseen forces at work that not even the great wonder of science could explain away. He watched the people below, blissful in their ignorance -- no thoughts of the disorder that the two young Laicar had unleashed into the fortress to act out its will. They could not know that the ranks of the dragon slayers were divided nearly in half -- those who had broken their loyalty to their captain in favour of the firm yet kind and gentle hand of a woman, the other willing to blindly follow their lord to the deepest pits of Hell. Viole held in a scoff, not understanding how such intelligent people could be so blind as to willingly follow a man who cared nothing for his troops…or so it seemed. He pulled back from the railing and proceeded on his way. He and his friends had an escape to devise…and they still had yet to agree on what would happen after.
*******
"No more! I won't drink another drop of that shit!" yelled Dilandau, knocking the clay mug from Sylvana's hand. The young woman's eyes went wide with first surprise and then unbridled anger.
"Bastard!" she shouted, "ungrateful whoreson! Do you have any idea what I've had to sacrifice to bring you this far?"
"Sacrifice? What have you sacrificed while I've laid here in this bed as you feed me teas and potions…" he made a sour face, "I won't wait any longer -- cast a spell, read and incantation…I don't care what you do, just make me well and do it now!" Sylvana turned away as if heading for the door and then turned back and rested her hands on the footboard of Dilandau's bed.
"It's not that simple…" she said, trying to give off at least some semblance of calm.
"Make it that simple," Dilandau snarled through nearly clenched teeth. Sylvana clutched the footboard so tightly that her knuckles turned white and her nails dug groove into the hard wood.
"I've been putting my everything into making you better…including my healing energy…I can't just snap my fingers and make your injury go away…it doesn't work that way…"
"You will find a way to make me battle ready again or…I'll make your child regret it…" Sylvana turned dead white.
"You wouldn't dare."
"Wouldn't I? Do it, girl, or it's your sweet brat who will be punished…" Sylvana felt her knees go slightly weak as she looked at the horribly pleased expression on the young lord's face. He had her and he knew it. Finally, she pried her fingers painfully from the board and backed toward the door a few steps before turning and bolting out of the room and down the corridor…nausea rising in the pit of her stomach
*******
Serene listened to the two inside the room as she pressed her back to the wall. As she listened she felt her cheeks grow hot and then her entire body went cold. He'd kill her…he really would! Unconsciously she lifted her hands to her throat as if she were choking. Moments later the door opened and Sylvana rushed out and away down the hall, not even noting the child with her back pressed against the wall as though she longed to become a part of it. Serene's mind raced faster than it ever had before…trying to figure something out…what she was to do to fix this. She knew that for her, Sylvana would give everything, heart, mind, life and soul, to protect her. She wouldn't let Sylvie die…no this would not be the place where she breathed her last breath. Young or not, Serene was as capable at devising a plan as one three times her age. She knew what she was to do and with resolve she turned and ran down the corridor in Sylvana's wake.
Chapter 28
Sylvana didn't stop running until she reached her room. She braced her hands against the wall as she bent until her forehead nearly touched it while she gasped for breath. Her mind raced frantically for a solution to meet the lord's demands. She couldn't let him harm Serene…but the bond she'd allowed to grow between him and her in order to heal him would not allow her to kill him. With a sudden flash of insight, a possible solution came to her. She straightened, tossing her head to shake stray locks from her eyes and then strode over to one of the shelves where her books were piled…some neatly, some randomly. Slowly she read the spines until she found the one she wanted…"Life and Light" the grimoire of one of the greatest healers of her people. She pulled it free and began to leaf through it almost idly with trembling hands, nearly passing the page she was searching for.
"Offer one's own energy for another," she murmured aloud…"One must freely, willingly give their own energy to heal another…" She frowned softly to herself digesting what it meant, 'Essentially, I have to die…' The thought of giving up her life for Dilandau made a bitter taste rise up in her mouth. The very idea of trading her life for the life of that man…that monster…no, she had to remind herself, no not for him -- for Serene. If she didn't do this, he'd kill her Serene. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath, gathering her resolve around her like a cloak. She had no choice. She snapped the book shut again and then began to gather up what she'd need.
*******
Viole entered the apartments to find Sylvana sifting through phials of ground herbs and flasks of strange liquors.
"I…we heard about what happened with the captain," he said.
"Really," she commented absently as she read the label on one of her flasks, "word travels fast."
"It's a small fortress…" He paused not entirely certain how to continue. "Sylvana," he started, then stopped, waiting for an acknowledging glance his way. After several long minutes she turned to look at him.
"What is it?"
"Come here…"
"What?"
"I want to show you something." Out in the corridor stood about six or seven of the other dragon slayers.
"What's this?" asked Sylvana, her tone wary.
"We pledge fealty to you, my lady," said one of the other slayers, his flaming red hair falling into his violet eyes somewhat. For a minute Sylvana thought she'd misheard.
"Come again?"
"We don't want to follow, Lord Dilandau anymore," said Chesta, "he's done a lot for us…he gave us our guymelefs…our high ranking positions in the empire…he is…was our patron --"
"But," cut in Viole suddenly, "he doesn't care about us…all he cares about is winning battles. You're as strong as him…and if you were given a title, we're all certain that it would be equal to his if it did not surpass it. We would rather die for one who had mastered the ability to be firm and yet gentle handed…"
"You're fools," replied Sylvana, her voice barely above a whisper…" you cannot pledge loyalty to one who is already dead…"
"What?"
"I have chosen to sacrifice myself to save Serene…and there is no more to say about this matter…excuse me." Sylvana turned to go back into her rooms, but Viole caught her arm.
"Wait," he said, his voice had a pleading edge to it. Sylvana's cheeks coloured slightly, showing her rising anger. She spoke quite calmly however.
"Kindly unhand me…"
"No…listen, we can help you escape…we can get you back to your people…"
"And after that? What then? What do you plan to do?"
"We haven't agreed on that yet," said the red head, "but we can't do this anymore…"
"He'll find out you know…" she said, her tone cool -- almost cold.
"It will take a while for him to do that…Please…" Sylvana tossed her head and threw up her hands in exasperation.
"Do what you will…but…for gods' sake, be careful doing it."
*******
Serene stole into her apartments just as Sylvana finished gathering up what she needed. Viole had agreed to be ready the next day, late morning to early afternoon and no later or Sylvana told him that she'd perform the spell and be done with it. Serene had over heard them talking and knew she had to work fast. As Sylvana disappeared into her chamber to get something or other Serene rifled through Sylvana's herbs and potions until she'd gathered what she needed. Hiding them in her kirtle, Serene slipped into her own room to make the dust she needed, after grabbing the book that explained what to do. It wasn't difficult; three ingredients and her breath that she would add last. She added the proper proportions to the small crystal vial and then placed the stopper in the top. She shook it gently until its colour was a vivid blue and then she knew it was ready. She slowly stood and left her room and entered the main room. Her heart was pounding, both with excitement of performing magic on her own and using it to help someone, and with fear of getting caught and getting a sever tongue lashing from Sylvana for dabbling in things she shouldn't yet be toying with. She found Sylvana resting on the couch. The woman's eyes were closed and she didn't yet seem aware of Serene's presence -- that was good. Gingerly, Serene unstopped the vial and spilled a small amount of the blue dust into her hand. She then blew gently across her palm and immediately the powder took to the air, swirling and dancing on a non-existent wind. It was then that Sylvana opened her eyes.
"Hey now…what's all this?" she demanded, but already she was growing weary.
"Sleep and dream, Sylvie," Serene whispered as her guardian's eyes drooped shut again. Serene stood a few moments until Sylvana's breath was slow and steady. She then began to throw together a weak tea so that she might have an excuse to visit Dilandau's quarters. When ready, she left the room and ran down the corridor as fast as her tiny legs would move. She wasn't at all surprised to find the youthful captain quite awake. She put on her cheery, childish and innocent demeanour as she put a kettle onto boil and poured the tealeaves into a cup.
"I told Sylvana I wouldn't drink any more of that -"
"Oh I know; she didn't send me. She fell asleep on the sofa, quite exhausted after preparing your cure. She said she was going to need all her strength tomorrow to work her magic and I thought you should have a good sleep too." She poured the water into the cup, letting the tea steep only for a minute. She added more than enough sweet honey and then gave it to Dilandau. "I guessed that if Sylvie needs her strength then you'll need yours too." Dilandau grunted and spent several moments staring into his cup. Serene waited patiently, rocking back and forth on her feet -- back onto her heals, forward onto her toes, backward…forward…backward…forward. Finally, most likely growing tired of entertaining her presence, Dilandau gulped down the tea.
"There…now go away you little brat." Serene smiled sweetly.
"Of course, Dilandau, dream well…" she then walked toward the door…pausing only a second to dust the air in his room with the light blue powder of dreams before exiting. Pleased that her scheme was falling into place so nicely, Serene danced down the corridor, back to her own apartments where she too would allow herself a sleep of sorts…
Chapter 29
Now, how did he get here? Dilandau turned in a circle taking in his surroundings. This place, it reminded him much of the Laicar vale where he'd spent those few weeks recovering from his crash -- but this place seemed…different for some reason. He first realized that it was not the Exiles' Vale after a few moments, but a place very like it…and still -- something seemed…off. Then there was the matter of how he got there in the first place…and how he was to get back from whence he came. He turned in another circle, bewildered by all the many paths there were to take, all laid out in the same white stones as the paths in the other vale had been. As he turned his second circle he thought he spotted a flash of movement and maybe a figured just vanishing into the half wild shrubbery. He narrowed his eyes against the glare of the sun, watching to see if he saw any more movement, half wondering if his barely rational mind was simply playing tricks on him, but just as he was about to turn away again, he saw a glimmer or flash as if the sun were glancing off of something metallic -- or some other reflective surface. Immediately he took off down that path, determined to get some answers one way or another.
The bushes seemed to hide spirits; rustles and whispers and even the odd giggle, or so it seemed, came from every direction. He thought he could feel eyes, ever present, ever on him as he headed down the path. Branches seemed to reach for him with gnarled fingers and the shadows seemed to crowd around him as if he attracted them to him. He thought he could feel fear rising in his throat, everything seemed to be spinning, all sense of control and symmetry spiralling into chaos. Everything suddenly seemed wrong…the trees, the ground, the sky…the world around him…even his life, who he was…it all seemed…wrong. His whole life suddenly felt like it didn't fit…as if it were an out fit that was too tight. That was when he stopped. He paused and simply stood where he was. Everything then seemed to stop spinning and turned back into what it was supposed to be. The trees were trees once more, there was no whispering or rustling in the bushes. Everything became calm, and still…and tranquil. He turned back to see how far he'd come and was astonished to find that he stood only a few feet from the eaves of the trees that shaded the path so nicely. What was going on here?
"Have an epiphany did you?" The voice was musical, gentle, humorous and familiar. He turned to find a lovely young woman sitting quite comfortably on a polished stone bench he had not realized was there before. She sat there -- tranquil -- a serene smile on her lips as she gazed up at him with sapphire eyes. Her golden tresses were partially piled up atop her head and held in place with a beautiful and delicate ivory comb inset with amber and citrine. The rest of her pale golden locks cascaded down over her shoulders, a lighter shade of gold against her warm golden dress.
"I know you," Dilandau stated.
"You do at that," was the reply. She didn't even bat an eyelash as she gazed at him with those intensely blue, feline eyes of hers, "better than you might think too." She then added, rising slowly, her grace making her appear to almost drift over the ground as she made her way down the path. "Come with me; I'll shoe you why you are here." Half numb and feeling unable to argue with this entrancing woman, he did as she bade him.
It wasn't long before they came to a clearing -- a grove of some sort. The light filtered down through the trees so that it was dappled with soft shadows…and yet the grove glowed with an almost ethereal light from an unknown source. He spotted a third figure and immediately recognised the think, iridescent, silvery locks. Sylvana turned around to face them both just as they entered.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded immediately.
"I could ask the same of you." She replied, "and of me for that matter…"
"What is this place?"
"Well, it looks like the sacred Grove of Truths back in the Vale of Auraborea…but truly…we're in the Realm of Dreams…"
"Quite right, Sylvie," replied the young golden woman heading away from them and toward the centre where stood two slender saplings, insignificant compared to the huge and hoary trees that sheltered the grove with their tangled and intertwining boughs. The two sapling trees curved gracefully, their branches embracing each other so that together they formed an arch. In return the arch held in it what appeared to be a sheet of fine glass that reflected the sun and almost seemed to be a sort of -- mirror.
"Serene," said Sylvana taking a few steps toward the younger woman, the long skirt of her white dress flowing around her so that the sun caught it and seemed to turn it almost translucent, so fine and gauzy the material was. The other turned and Dilandau finally truly saw her. Indeed, it was Serene…or who she'd be when she reached Sylvana's age. No wonder he was so sure he knew her. "Why are we here, Serene? What did you do?" Serene smiled -- she was dazzlingly beautiful and she simply radiated goodness…and kindness.
"It's time for you to know the truth…to remember," she said to Dilandau, "You, Sylvie, are here as a witness. You too need to know what is truth…and what has been fabricated…created by evil and non-magic that some try to pawn off as what it is not." Serene indicated the mirror, "but you must see and know for yourself, only then will you truly understand and be able to find your way back to your rightful fate…your true path in life, Dilandau. Go, look…tell me what you see, what hidden truth the mirror reveals to you." Dilandau hesitated, a simple thought flashing through his mind…this was foolishness. A mirror was a mirror, it reflected back light, the image of that which stood before it and no more, but he was almost compelled to do as Serene bade him…as if he were ensorcelled by her. He slowly approached the mirror, but then froze, wondering if he was hallucinating. The glass appeared to be shimmering, rippling as water does when disturbed. However, only a few heartbeats past before he was approaching the mirror once more. Once before it he stood and gazed into its depths. At first all he saw was what he'd been expecting, the reflected image of himself…
"Look deeper," whispered Serene's voice, sounding as though she were right next to him speaking in his ear, though he knew she stood halfway between him and the path out of the grove.
"What do you mean…look deeper?" he asked, turning away to look at the golden woman. Serene gestured to the mirror again.
"Look with your spirit, not your eyes. Use the mirror to delve into yourself…" Dilandau's brows furrowed. Normally he would have never even been humouring her. He would have scoffed and told her just what she could do and where exactly she could go, but not here…not now. His frustration simmering just below the surface, he turned back to the mirror. This time, though he was sure he'd done nothing different, the mirror rippled again as if it were made of cloth rather than glass and it was as if it were rustling in a gentle breeze. As the movement subsided and the imaged returned, he could see that it had changed, but, it wasn't him he saw…it wasn't even male. Rather, before him stood a young woman, about his age he guesses…blue eyed and blond haired she wore Asturian style clothing and she looked back at him, her eyes, though brimming with compassion, seemed sad. She reached out to him with one hand and that was when he tore himself away.
"What is this?" he demanded fiercely, "Who is she; who is that girl?" Sylvana's pale eyes were also quite wide. Usually visions were difficult to interpret, but that…that was surreal. Serene smiled at the two of them.
"If you do not remember her Dilandau, then you must continue deeper into the depths of the Dream Realm…and farther down the Path of Truth," she told him. She then held out to him a pink flower and a feather -- a feather that seemed to be made of fire. The flower and feather both were tied together by a blue ribbon…"These are your keys, Dilandau, do not lose them. Sylvana will go with you. I however, am afraid that I must remain here to watch your progress and to be certain you do not get lost. When you find what you seek…this…" she indicated the world around them with a broad sweep of her arm, "this will fade and you will wake. Good luck to you both."
*******
Sylvana still didn't quite understand. She stood before the mirror and then turned to Dilandau.
"Well then," she said coolly, "we'd better get on with it. The sooner we get this over with the sooner I'll be free of you." She reached her hand forward as if to touch the glass. The supposedly solid surface rippled -- at first only slightly, but then more and more until it resembled water on a windy day. Sylvana's hand, rather than resting upon the surface like it should have were the mirror not the mystical medium it was, passed cleanly through it. She pulled her hand back and then cast another glance at Dilandau. "Right," she said, "let's go then." That said she walked to the magical gate and vanished.
*******
Dilandau stood there for what seemed like forever. Sylvana was gone -- gone! The mirror had swallowed her. He could feel his nerves screaming at him that this was a mistake, but he told himself that what all this was, was a dream and that dreams couldn't harm him. He repeated it again and again, a mantra to sooth his nerves until he once more found his courage and felt that he could face whatever waited for him on the other side of the mirror-gate.
Chapter 30
Authors Note: The idea for these next chapters was borrowed from a story by the wonderful author Hitome-sama, whose fic 'Rain Washes Everything Away' I thoroughly enjoyed. Only the general idea was borrowed, nothing had been plagiarized in anyway, and I apologise to the author if she considers this any kind of offence.
He'd been prepared for many things, but not this, not Pallas -- not the Vernal Festival. Dilandau didn't recognise anyone as he glanced around -- well, no one but the young woman with the silver locks and the feline eyes that stood next to him.
"Why are we here?" he demanded of her. Her glance was quick and sharp.
"Well, how should I know? Serene is the one who contrive this, not me."
"Do you recognise this?"
"I do…I do indeed…This is the Vernal Festival…but not just any one…this is the one from eleven years ago…I was five summers."
*******
'The Vernal Festival of my fifth summer…' What did this have to do with the captain? She recognised the sweet familiar flute music her mother used to play. She ever so slowly wove her way through the crowd, aware that they didn't see her…or if they did, didn't seem too concerned. She finally stopped, not too far from the makeshift stage. She simply stood a few minutes listening to the sweet, airy music. Something strange happened then. It was as if something were compelling her to look away and into the crowd. There amidst the milling people she spotted two children. One was of her own people, her silver tresses pulled back and held in place with a greed cord. She felt her heart lurch. Why, that tiny sweet creature was herself…and who was that with her? All golden curls and china blue eyes, a second little girl danced and played along side her silvery counter part. Sylvana frowned a moment and then smiled.
'I almost forgot this,' she thought to herself, 'I almost forgot my young friend -- but what has all this got to do with Dilandau?'
"I'm having trouble understanding the point of this." She nearly jumped at the male voice next to her, "What has all this got to do with me?" Dilandau asked her.
"That's the very question I was just asking myself," she replied, "what does all this have to do with you? This seems to concern me more." She gestured to the two little girls who were by now being split apart by their parents. The silvery child handed to her golden counterpart a flaming feather. "I wonder what happened to her…" Sylvana murmured to herself, "I never did see her again after that." She shook her head, "and what's more, I wonder how this relates to you." As if taking her cue from her, the world around them wavered, rippled and then changed. It became a vast green field, patched with pink where clusters of small pink flowers grew together in bunches. Now, Sylvana knew quite clearly that this was one place she hadn't seen before, so it would be up to Dilandau to solve the question.
*******
Where were they now? This was still Asturia, he didn't know how he knew it, but he did. He scanned the area until his eyes alighted on two…no, three figures in the distance. As if drawn to them, he approached them silently. As he drew closer he could tell that the figures were that of a young girl and boy frolicking together among the flowers. A little off to the side was a lovely woman -- maybe in her late twenties or early thirties and probably the mother of the two children. As he watched the children play, Dilandau felt he recognised them…especially the boy…in some strange way. The recognition came to him in a rush so sudden he almost felt dizzy. That boy was Alan Schezar! He couldn't believe it. He then had to assume that the little girl was his sister. Strange how he'd never even imagined that the handsome and gallant knight might have any siblings. Looking at the girl of about five or six he though that, like Serene, she probably would be dazzlingly beautiful. She'd also probably be betrothed if not wedded by now as well, since, judging by the age difference between the young siblings, he could guess that she'd be about his age by now. There was something else about this scene however. It seemed almost -- familiar to him, though he couldn't begin to imagine why…and the little girl…she too was frighteningly familiar to him. He felt cold all of a sudden; there was something very wrong about all this, it was almost a sense of foreboding. Almost as if he knew that this deep tranquility would be shattered…by what? He couldn't know. He watched silently as the girl offered a large bouquet of pink flowers to her brother and then, with a mischievous giggle, ran off into the meadow as the boy watched after her. Dilandau looked up at the sky to see dark menacing clouds looming as if they were an ill omen. The swift and crafty winds blew the storm clouds in with surprising speed, following behind their foreboding charges to announce the beginning of a most wicked storm. Also seeing this the young boy began to call out to his sister, but his voice was snatched away by the evil, treacherous winds before it had barely left his lips. Dilandau thought he could hear the screams of a frightened child just barely over the howling wind, and with that awareness came another scene change.
The little girl screamed and wailed as the men grabbed her and dragged her away. Dilandau could see the young Alan just barely off on the other side of the meadow. Dilandau recognised the crest of Zaibach the men bore and felt suddenly ice cold.
"Outrage of outrages!" snarled a voice right next to Dilandau's ear, "so you're not only tyrants, you're also in the business of kidnapping helpless children as well." Dilandau turned to look at Sylvana. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her pale eyes glittered so fiercely that it seemed as though they should belong to a wild animal and not a person, let alone a beautiful young woman like herself.
"I never knew anything about this," protested Dilandau, "I had no idea that these sorts of things even took place. We've recruited many people, but -- children are children."
"What happened to her? What did they do with her, Dilandau?"
"I already told you…I don't know!" he yelled back at her.
"Well then…what do you think they might have done with her?" Dilandau looked back at the girl, her sapphire eyes wide with pure fright. He felt strange, as if something inside of him were fraying. He could feel nausea rising up from the pit of his stomach.
"I wish I knew, but I don't," he replied in a suddenly very sombre and subdued voice.
*******
Sylvana was surprised by Dilandau's tone. With his final words, things changed again. Now they were inside.
"Where are we now?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper and she took in the ominous and forbidding surroundings.
"This is Zaibach…that much I know," was Dilandau's reply. A child's helpless and frightened weeping caught the attention of the two then. They turned and there they saw the little girl, weeping with fear.
"Somebody help me," she pleaded around her choked sobs, "Mama, Alan, anyone, I don't want to be alone -- please don't leave me here all alone."
*******
Dilandau felt his blood run ice cold. He knew this…he didn't know how -- but he knew he did. Shaking, he took a tentative step toward the terrified, weeping little girl. He could feel her fear rising up in him, her sheer and utter terror.
"Dilandau?" Sylvana's voice was puzzled.
"I know this," Dilandau choked out as he sank to his knees, never removing his eyes from the girl, "I know this."
"How?" asked Sylvana, taking a step toward him, but then stopping herself, "how could you know this?" Dilandau looked up at her and her heart nearly froze in her chest at the pain in the young captain's eyes.
"I don't…that is I can't…I -" his voice vanished as his lips moved soundlessly. Sylvana strode to him, knelt down before him and gripped his shoulders.
"Tell me," she hissed, giving him a bit of a shake, "What is this? What's going on?" she had never seen that kind of terror in anyone's eyes before, but she could see that the fear reflected in Dilandau's garnet eyes, was mirrored in the eyes of the child. "Dilandau?" she cried, gripping the captain's face with her hands so that he was forced to look her in the eye, "tell me what is happening!" His breath was ragged with fear, and he jumped slightly as he heard the sound of steel grating on steel, as the dungeon doors were unlocked. Through the door entered a young dog-man. Upon seeing him, the little girl flung herself into his arms.
"Jajuka!" she cried and then burst into fresh tears. After a very few short minutes, several guards appeared. They ripped the little girl away from the protesting dog-man, who begged them to leave her alone. The little girl wailed and cried out to Jajuka as a group of guards beat him until he bled.
"No!" cried Dilandau, "Stop!" Sylvana felt her own fear rise.
"Dilandau!" she cried, all semblance of calm shattered, the fear and panic utterly clear in her choked voice, "Dilandau, please, tell me what's happening. I don't understand how this relates to you." She could feel fear and pain radiating from him. It was so intense that it nearly knocked her flat.
"Don't let them hurt her!" he pleaded with Sylvana, "make them stop!"
"I can't!" cried Sylvana, "these are only images of what has already been…" Then something suddenly clicked, "They're only memories." She looked at Dilandau, "Yours, they're your memories, aren't they?" Her words shattered everything. The connection had been made, they both understood, the fraying cord snapped and like a flood tide after a dam had been broken, everything, all of Dilandau's memories of those five lost years washed over him. As everything came back, the terror, the torment of the experiments the Zaibach sorcerers had subjected him to, Dilandau finally felt himself fall apart and he dissolved into tears…helpless, hopeless tears of complete and utter despair. Sylvana pulled the weeping form of the captain into her arms and let him weep into her chest as she watched the final scene. She felt horror and pure disgust wash over her as she watched the 'sorcerers' perform their dark 'magic' on the little girl. How dare they pawn off something like that as magic. She knew that it was not what they were performing. The child screamed and wailed in fear and pain as they worked their tests on her. Sylvana finally had to looked away, already aware of what the final result would be. She felt cold and sick. She had always known the kind of cruelty humans were capable of…but this -- this crossed every line there was.
"Outrage of outrages," she snarled to herself.
Chapter 31
Dilandau was sunk so deep in his misery, his long unclaimed memories plaguing him, tormenting him so that he wanted to howl like a madman, that it took him a fair while to realize where he was. He and Sylvana were back in the sun and shadows of the ancient grove. She still had him in her arms, and he could feel her run her long slender fingers through his hair as she tried in some way to comfort him. With a sniff and a grunt he pulled away from her and stood on shaky legs. She was silent as he did this. She didn't mock him, nor did she ask him such condescending questions such as if he were all right. She simply knelt there, her hands resting on her thighs. He turned his back to her, not wanting her to see what he'd been reduced to, and still he could feel her eyes on him, burning into his back. He took a few moments to identify his feelings. Most he recognised straight off. Rage, hatred, pain, but there was one that took him a little longer. He turned it over in his mind more than once before recognising it. Shame…it was shame. He now looked back on all the things he'd done and nearly felt ill with guilt. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry -- laugh at himself for allowing himself to become so suddenly weak because of a few memories that might as well have been from a former life, or cry because he could see what others saw, that he had allowed himself to become a horrible and twisted monster that thirsted for blood but could never be quenched and hungered for power but could never be satisfied.
"Dilandau?" He jumped; he'd forgotten Sylvana there at his back. She'd uttered no sound for the longest time. He held up a hand in a gesture that meant she should be silent.
"Whatever you have to say, don't," he said before turning around to face her, "I don't need to hear your taunts, or worse your platitudes." Sylvana looked up at him in silence a few moments before standing.
"I was neither planning to taunt you nor patronize you, Dilandau," she said, her voice calm, but hard. He could see anger flashing like two dancing flames in her ice-pale eyes, and it dawned on him that it had been a long while since he'd seen her eyes smoulder like that, almost seeming to glow. He realized that for a fair length of time those orbs that always seemed to reflect her fiery spirit had been dead and lifeless. He really had nearly crushed her spirit. "I was going to ask you what you plan to do now. Now that you know your past, are you going to go on as you have been and forget who you were…who you still can be? Or are you going to embrace your true path and try to reclaim that which is rightfully yours -- your life." Dilandau opened his mouth to speak, but his voice failed him. He didn't know. For the first time in his life he didn't know what he should do. He clenched his hands in an unsuccessful attempt to hide their shaking. He tried to cover up his fear and confusion, but couldn't, and he knew that Sylvana saw his weakness as clear as clear. He felt hot tears trickling down his cheeks and brushed them away quickly with an impatient hand, furious with himself for letting himself fall apart like this, but then he saw Sylvana's face soften. She canted her head slightly as she regarded him silently. With all her shields dropped he could see her own fear, her own raw pain that she'd kept hidden for…only the gods knew how long. She'd kept it all hidden away and in its place put on a mask of strength, and anger and hate, not just for the sake of her child, not just to put off Dilandau, but for herself so that she didn't have to acknowledge the pain, the grief, the sorrow that was devouring her from the inside out. Upon that comprehension he found that his weak foundations, on which he was trying to build up his own protective walls again, were crumbling, and at that moment it all came crashing down around him, and he sank to the ground, dissolving once more into tears.
*******
For a few minutes, Sylvana didn't know what to do. Here was her hated enemy suddenly showing something else other that his cruel, cold façade. Suddenly she could see just how lost and confused he was. Suddenly she understood that he was like everyone, in need of comfort and understanding. He was indeed human, not some storybook monster that felt nothing and revelled in its evil. She knelt down next to him and laid a hand lightly on his shoulder.
"Dilandau," she said softly. When he looked at her, uncertainty in those normally cold garnet eyes, she could see that he was as frightened and confused as she was; with what he had always perceived at his life in shambles, as it came crashing down atop his head, as hers had when she'd first lost her mother, and then Adriel, "I'm sorry…" she said.
*******
Her voice was just barely audible, sounding as tiny and lost as he felt at that moment. She brushed some of his tears away with a gentle hand, but said nothing else. He sniffed once and then willed himself to stop weeping.
"Why are you doing this?" he demanded fiercely, "comforting me, why?" She shook her head and met his eyes.
"I don't know," she admitted, "I suppose I feel -- responsible in one way or another. I suppose I feel I should have seen it, I knew something wasn't right…your aura screamed it, but I hated you so much that I stopped caring. Serene knew though, she saw the truth and decided we both needed to know too. I'm sorry because I should have kept trying…I gave up. Twice the fool, once for stopping when I knew I shouldn't and twice for giving into my anger and hate."
"It doesn't matter…" he muttered.
"Of course it does…it matters more than anything possibly can. They stole your life. They stole who you are and replaced it with something foul. No creature, not of the living, nor of the dead, nor of the Dark Realms, not the Astral, nor the Hells, nor the Havens, have the right to do that to any being. It is the greatest sin of any. They should be flayed alive for such a crime. You were a child…an innocent, helpless child. What they did to you is inexcusable…do you hear me? Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? None of what you've done it your fault…it's theirs." He shook his head and pushed himself to his feet.
"So what if it is?" he demanded, "I can't take any of it back. I can't go back to Fanelia and magically restore it. I can't bring back all the innocent people I killed. Maybe I was an innocent child all those years ago, but I was only one child. I've killed hundreds of times that by now. No one is going to care about what happened in my past. I'm still a monster…and their blood is still on my hands…" Sylvana stood slowly and gazed at him.
"Maybe so…and no the past can't be changed…but the future can, and that, Dilandau, is what is important…"
"You hypocrite -"
"That's right…I am a hypocrite…I do dwell on the past…I do brood. My mother was killed and my people banished me from my home because of an accident…or so the Elders claim. Truth be told, they were afraid of me…of the changes I represented. I accidentally killed a dear friend. In a fit of rage I lost control of my empathic gift, and just like that I gave the elders the excuse they were searching for to be rid of me. Then, some arrogant bastard, who thinks he's a gift from the gods to the world, takes me away from my family…then he has the person I loved more than my breath and my blood, who was my reason for living and my reason for dying…who was my entire life and my entire world, murdered when he's unsuspecting, all the while commanding me to drain myself to my very last drop of strength so that he and his men can keep fighting their god-be-damned battle. Then, when he nearly dies, which I wholly admit was my fault, demands that I heal him straight away when I've been giving my all to help him heal…without I might add, a single drop of gratitude in return. Of course the only way for me to fully restore him would be for me to trade my life in return for his…so I think, given the circumstances of my misbegotten life that I DAMN WELL BLOODY DESERVE TO BROOD!!!!!" Dilandau was struck dumb by what she'd told him. In a way she'd just revealed her entire life to him…why she'd been exiled, why she wallowed in such misery even before he'd taken her as his healer. Tears were now streaming down her own cheeks, and she brushed at them fiercely as she tried to stifle her sobs.
"I -" he started.
"Listen to me, Dilandau. You are not a bad person…not truly…"
"How can you say that after the things I've done? How can you look me in the eyes and tell me that when you know full well all the crimes I've committed, all the innocent people I've killed. I threatened you're little girl for god's sake…I threatened to torture you if you didn't do as I commanded. How -"
"Because it's true, and you know I'm right. Who they made you is not who you truly are…and you have the power to change that. Fate is not fixed, Dilandau. It isn't something that defines who and what you are…neither does it govern your entire life. Fate, Dilandau, is a path…a rode and nothing more. They dragged you off that path and into the woods where you were forced to fend for yourself and create your own path, but I can lead you back to the right one. Just as Fate is a rode, Destiny is the tapestry woven by the decisions you make in life…not predestination…let me help you…"
"You can't help me…Look at me…they made me a monster…it's what I am and nothing you or I or anyone else says or does will change that…"
"You're wrong…you know you're wrong. Listen, you are stronger than they are. Show them how much stronger you are. You have a will of iron…You don't have to play the pawn in this badly played game of chess if you don't want to. Break away from them…they can only control you if you let them…I promise, I can help you…and I will if you ask me to…"
"But, why? Why would you help me?"
"Because…I care, Dilandau…" Again he was struck dumb. She cared? About him? "I know you can fight this, Dilandau and I know you can win…I understand and I want to help…" He shook his head, more tears springing to his eyes, a bitter smile touching his lips. He felt so helpless.
"No one can help me," he whispered.
"Only if you won't let them," Sylvana murmured, coming up beside him, "and only if you don't believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, then believe in me, because I can believe in you enough for the two of us…" She graced him with a rare smile that lit up her face and made her ice-pale eyes dance, "I know that you'll do what you feel in your heart of hearts is right…" she said softly, "I'm going to go now…" She reached up and brushed her soft, supple lips against his cheek, "good-night, captain…" She then turned away and headed down the path. He watched her, her translucent white dress billowing about her making her appear to be almost floating as if she were a phantom, until she seemed to vanished like a mist. Could he really do what she said? Could he really take back his life? She believed he could…she believed he was good…she believed him worth saving…and she believed he could believe…and he was beginning to. Her sincere belief in him somehow gave him enough strength to also believe. He glanced about him, finally spotting the golden woman who had brought him and Sylvana to this place. She had a warm smile on her face and when he looked at her she nodded to him as if in approval. He took a moment more to gather back his strength and courage and then followed after Sylvana down the path, hoping that they'd both remember when they woke.