Disclaimer: This may not make any sense if you didn't read the first chapter. It is better than the first chapter (like it could possibly be worse). Oh, and the whole reason the disclaimer is here: I don't own any of the characters, or the movie itself (unfortunately). Please R&R.
SW Ep.II AOTP a.k.a Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Parodies
Chapter 2: Obi-Wan Kenobi MarriesPadmè Amidala
Padmè: I want a divorce!
Anakin: But I want you to go to bed with me!
Padmè: I will if you let me get a divorce.
Anakin: Really?! Yay!! Padmè is going to sleep with me!
*Padmè takes out divorce papers*
Anakin: How long have you been carrying those around?
Padmè: Since the day we got married, I just always forgot to give them to you.
*Anakin takes the papers from Padmè*
Anakin: If I don't sign them, will you still sleep with me?
Padmè: No!
*Anakin signs the papers*
Padmè: Yes! Now I'm not married to the little brat!
Anakin: Ok, come on Padmè. You have to sleep with me now.
Padmè: No I don't.
Anakin: You promised!
Padmè: Where's your proof? You don't have it in writing.
*Obi-Wan comes running out of the apartment*
Obi-Wan: Help! She raped me!
Padmè: Anakin and I are divorced.
Obi-Wan *excited*: Really?!?!
Padmè: Really.
Obi-Wan: Let's go to bed then.
Padmè: Come on.
~The next week~
Priest Person: If there is any reason that these two shouldn't be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
Shmi: I have a reason!
Priest Person: What is it?
Shmi: Obi, you can't marry her!
Obi-Wan: Why not?
Shmi: Because I love you…and I'm carrying your child!!
*Everyone gasps, except for Anakin*
Anakin: Cool! I'm going to have a sister!
Shmi: Brother.
Padmè: But I'm carrying his child too!
*Everyone gasps again, except for Anakin, again*
Anakin: Double cool! I'm going to have a son!
Padmè: It's a girl, and it's not even your child, its your fathers, so it will be your sister.
Obi-Wan: Anakin is not my son! And when were you people planning on telling me that I had two unborn children?!
Padmè: After the wedding.
Shmi: I was waiting until now because I wanted to ruin the wedding.
Anakin *crying*: I want to have a son or a daughter. It's not fair!
Padmè: But you have a son and a daughter that you ignore!
Anakin: I have two children?
Luke *runs in*: Mom, you cant marry him!
*Padmè hits her head*
Padmè: Is everyone purposely trying to ruin my wedding?
*Everyone looks at each other*
Everyone but Padmè and Obi-Wan: Yes.
Padmè: Anakin, this is you son Luke. Luke, this is your Father.
Luke: Daddy!!
Darth Vader *appears*: Luke, I am your Father.
Anakin: No, I am.
Darth Vader: Remember? I am you! Grow a brain!
Anakin: Ha, shows how much you know! You can't grow a brain.
Darth Vader *to himself*: Obviously you never did.
Anakin: What?
Darth Vader: Your brain grows before you're born, and as you get older.
Anakin: Uhh…
Luke: Who is my Father!
Anakin & Darth Vader *at the same time*: I am!
Anakin: Ha! Jinx, you owe me a soda!
*Darth Vader hits his head*
Darth Vader: No one in this room is in kindergarten.
Anakin: Ha! Wrong again! I am! So one person in this room is in kindergarten.
Luke: You're both wrong! I'm in kindergarten too! So there are two people in this room that are in kindergarten!
Darth Vader: Very good Luke, you can do math. Do you think you're ready to move up to first grade?
Luke: Yes!
Darth Vader: Well too bad, because you're not ready!
Priest Person: I did not come here to argue or to listen to people argue! Someone is getting married!! Who's it going to be?
Anakin: I want to marry someone!
Luke: I do too!
Anakin: Let's get married!
Luke: Okay Dad!
Padmè: Obi and I are getting married today!
Priest Person: Okay, let's do this the easy way. Do you take Padmè to be your Wife?
Obi-Wan: Yes.
Priest Person: And do you take Obi to be your Husband?
Padmè: Yes.
Priest Person: Okay, you're married. Kiss! Now! And get out of my church!
*Obi-Wan kissed Padmè, and the priest person rushed everyone out of his church*
Anakin: Padmè, you still have to sleep with me.
Padmè: No I don't. And anyway I'm pregnant.
Anakin: Fine! Luke and I will have a kid of our own when we get married!
Okay, I'm finally done with this. I think it was a little bit better than the first chapter, I don't know, hmm… Anyway, please tell me what you thought about this chapter, and the first one if you didn't review that. The next chapter will be up soon enough. I think it may be Anakin and Luke's wedding, that is soo not right, but, you know, whatever works. If you have any suggestions please tell me. Mesa tanken yousa for reading dis. I love my Gunganese, it's my first language. The English language is my second language. And the Wookie language is my third. But you don't need to know all this. I'm going to go get started on my third chapter. Bye for now!