It Ain't Over Till It's Over
by pari106
pari106@hotmail.com ; http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html ; Disclaimer: DA
is not mine; Rating: PG; Timeframe: set during the beginning scene of "Freak Nation".
Logan's POV at that time.
Touch.
God, I hate that word…
I feel like I've obsessed over the concept so much that the word itself has lost all
meaning. But this is touch… Isn't it?
Maybe it isn't the same… My hands all wrapped up in rubber and tape. In a way, I
guess it's kind of ridiculous. But it's the closest to the real thing that Max and I have
been in a long time. Too long.
And as I ease down the zipper on her suit, I feel my mouth go dry and I tell myself that
*I'm* ridiculous. Because the truth is, I know it isn't the same. I know a couple of pairs
of rubber gloves haven't changed anything. The virus is still here between us. The last
couple of months are still here between us. The break-up is still here. And even if all of
that were gone, Max's fear of being with me isn't. The fact that she's moved on…moved
right onto Alec…isn't.
What it all comes down to is nothing has changed because, even if we can touch, it's only
because these gloves are between us, too. And that's just not good enough.
I tell myself all this. Well… To be honest, part of me tells myself this.
Tells me I'm stupid for wanting to let my touch linger on Max's skin as I inspect the
runes that have appeared there… Tells me I'm a fool to watch her shiver and to want –
so badly – to believe it's from something other than the cold. Or from something else I'd
rather not think about – like concern for what her boyfriend Alec might think of me
touching her, even if we're not really touching at all.
The other part tells me I'm a fool for not having thought of this sooner. When it wasn't
too late.
But, fool or not, I can't seem to focus on my job and get it done. And I can't seem to let
Max go when it's time and my hand is there linked with hers.
I can't seem to stop staring, searching for something other than fear or coldness or Alec
behind Max's big, brown eyes. Searching for confirmation that maybe it isn't so
ridiculous that I don't want to give up. Even with everything that stands between me and
Max… Even with everything we have to keep between us. I don't want to give up on us;
I don't want to give up on her. I don't want to let Alec have her without a fight.
Because, unbelievably enough, I can see it right there in Max's eyes… The truth that,
perhaps, this is a fight I could win. If she would only let me. And whatever else Max
might say, I can't believe we're really over until her eyes say the same.
by pari106
pari106@hotmail.com ; http://www.geocities.com/pari106/damain.html ; Disclaimer: DA
is not mine; Rating: PG; Timeframe: set during the beginning scene of "Freak Nation".
Logan's POV at that time.
Touch.
God, I hate that word…
I feel like I've obsessed over the concept so much that the word itself has lost all
meaning. But this is touch… Isn't it?
Maybe it isn't the same… My hands all wrapped up in rubber and tape. In a way, I
guess it's kind of ridiculous. But it's the closest to the real thing that Max and I have
been in a long time. Too long.
And as I ease down the zipper on her suit, I feel my mouth go dry and I tell myself that
*I'm* ridiculous. Because the truth is, I know it isn't the same. I know a couple of pairs
of rubber gloves haven't changed anything. The virus is still here between us. The last
couple of months are still here between us. The break-up is still here. And even if all of
that were gone, Max's fear of being with me isn't. The fact that she's moved on…moved
right onto Alec…isn't.
What it all comes down to is nothing has changed because, even if we can touch, it's only
because these gloves are between us, too. And that's just not good enough.
I tell myself all this. Well… To be honest, part of me tells myself this.
Tells me I'm stupid for wanting to let my touch linger on Max's skin as I inspect the
runes that have appeared there… Tells me I'm a fool to watch her shiver and to want –
so badly – to believe it's from something other than the cold. Or from something else I'd
rather not think about – like concern for what her boyfriend Alec might think of me
touching her, even if we're not really touching at all.
The other part tells me I'm a fool for not having thought of this sooner. When it wasn't
too late.
But, fool or not, I can't seem to focus on my job and get it done. And I can't seem to let
Max go when it's time and my hand is there linked with hers.
I can't seem to stop staring, searching for something other than fear or coldness or Alec
behind Max's big, brown eyes. Searching for confirmation that maybe it isn't so
ridiculous that I don't want to give up. Even with everything that stands between me and
Max… Even with everything we have to keep between us. I don't want to give up on us;
I don't want to give up on her. I don't want to let Alec have her without a fight.
Because, unbelievably enough, I can see it right there in Max's eyes… The truth that,
perhaps, this is a fight I could win. If she would only let me. And whatever else Max
might say, I can't believe we're really over until her eyes say the same.