A/N - As I said last time, so hard to kill him off, but this one was
harder, I think I'm too involved in my stories!
This chapter is the last I promise! I'm not actually sure if it works, but I think it does.It took me long enough anyway! I think I've said this is almost every chapter and who am I to break with tradition - Hope you enjoy!
A year after his death
I look out the window, there is rain running down it and I can barely see the building opposite my room. I felt the lump in my throat that had been there everyday since he was taken from me. I rise from my bed and walk to the bathroom. I'm not here for fun, I've a duty to carry out and it has to be done on time. I pour myself into the shower and turn it on as hot as I could stand it.
//The funeral was as I expected. Organised by a bunch of people who barely knew him, saying what a perfect husband and friend he was. The only people who really knew about this (Me and Glen) didn't have a say though, we just sat at the back, united in grief. Even at the wake Sara waltzed around like a queen, baring down on people who didn't want to talk to her. As you can tell in this last year I've come to like her even less. My problem comes with the fact that she is now engaged again. To another (younger) wrestler. I don't know how she could possibly have moved on in such a short time because I certainly haven't. Each day I wake up and want nothing more than to hug him, kiss him, or even just phone him. To hear his voice telling me it was okay, I'd kill for it.
My regret is I never got to tell him what had happened. It worries me that he went to his grave not knowing the full truth, I hate it. At first I blamed Glen for not letting me phone him, but now I know that if I had phoned him before and he yelled at me..lets say I wouldn't be here telling you this.
I almost wasn't as it is. That night when Glen told me I spent hours just sat on the floor numb with shock. When the heart wrenching pain and soul splitting grief begun I had placed a shard of the vodka bottle to my wrist. It was a miracle what happened next, My phone received a message so I dropped the glass to see it. When I looked it was from Mark, he must have sent it before he set off and it got delayed. The message was simple yet intriguing. Seeing when it was sent, makes it almost prophetic.
"The most important thing you'll ever know is love. Never forget how much I love you"
This message is still on my phone to this day. I've also got those words written on the picture of us in by my bed and in my wallet.//
I climb out of the shower, wrap a towel around and walk over to get my clothes from the bag. I lay them down on the bed and study them, taking a moment to dwell on each of the specially picked garments.
Black lace edged bra - He always loved it, and I haven't worn it since he .
My black wrestling trousers -I was often in them when we saw each other.
A black corset top - We brought it together. Mark used to hate shopping so it was a huge victory when I got him to come with me. He picked this and I didn't like it a first, but when I tried it on I fell in love with it. (his excellent taste)
A leather waistcoat - I once stole it from him just before he went out to the ring, and he got quite angry as he thought he'd lost it. he had to get something else to wear, and was almost late. When he got back it was hung on the peg and he knew it was me, lots of tickling and kissing ensued and in the end I kept it.
The coat I was wearing on the day he died - I think this one needs no explanation.
I began to pull them on and my mind wondered, bored by this task.
//I got injured soon after his death. I couldn't concentrate in the ring and Molly tried a Molly-go-round on me that went wrong, ending with me dislocating a shoulder. They thought about two months off, but I ripped a muscle in my arm and they kept me out a further 2. By the time I got back everyone was almost back to normal and though he was still missed, life was going on. For me though it couldn't. I was still clumsy in the ring and this time I broke my ankle again, only a week after I returned. I was close to giving up but then I decided to use Mark as my inspiration, and win another title. In my first PPV match back I won the light heavyweight. After my match I dedicated it to Taker and then went backstage to cry. I'd made him proud I knew it, and that made me proud.//
I still had that belt, sat on my bed blinking at me. I bent down and gave it a light kiss.
I checked the clock, everything was timed perfectly, I knew exactly what time everything must take place and I was on schedule as I pulled on my coat. This time I would meet him, I knew it.
I slicked on a little Nearly Nude lipgloss, and gave myself a half smile. It still hurt, but now the searing pain was a dull ache, that would flare from time to time. //The day after he died I went to the hospital, and managed to see him when Sara wasn't there, with Glen. It was then when the burning, murderous pain that I thought would kill me, begun. It was like somebody was holding a lighted match under my heart, so it burned, then they begun stabbing me with pins. People could say what they wanted about psychosomatic illness, but for the fortnight after his death I was in non stop physical pain. I cried until my eyes stung as if acid had been thrown at them. I spent four days straight in bed, and would have stayed there if it wasn't for Glen.//
I gave myself the once over in the mirror and confidently stepped into the corridor, no worries this time, just confident purpose. The door firmly shut behind I began walked down the corridor, smiling at the people I passed, holding the door for someone. This time I had left plenty of time.
//Glen was my rock through out, keeping me going. When ever I got upset he would comfort me, and looked after me for the first month. When I got injured he often came to visit me, updating me on the locker room, and telling me about himself. The best thing was that we could talk about Mark. Not Taker who the fans knew, or Mark who Sara knew, our own individual Mark's and how we loved them. We reminisced together, we wept together, finding strength in each other. I almost invited him today but I feel its something I must do alone. One thing I loved about Mark was his ability to listen, and Glen's was almost as good. //
I stepped out onto the street, happily noting the rain. I wondered down the sidewalk and across the road. Suddenly my devil may care attitude goes, and as if possessed I began to hurry more. I dash down a side street, and into the little back alley. Its as if I'd never left because as I open the door to the bar I see two men, one sat on a stool the other wiping glasses. I walk over "What's your poison"
"Bottle of Bud" he passed me a bottle and I took back to the same seat. I drink with a calm poise and watch the clock. Then after twenty minutes another man comes in, wearing the same jacket as last year. I watch for a while before finishing the last of the beer and placing my bottle down. I stand, pulling my jacket back on and walk to the door, pausing just before I open it and taking a deep breath. The hard part comes next.
//When I found out I was going to be out a while again I decided to retire. I felt I could never concentrate on my ring work and it would just cause me to wallow allday. I felt my heart sink every time I even looked at a wrestling ring. So the best option was out and I wrote my letter of resignation. Since Mark's death I'd lost touch with most of my friends except Glen, so it was only him I had to tell. I expected him to be really supportive but instead he got angry. "You can't just leave, if Mark knew it was his fault you left he'd die all over again!"
"But."
"No But, Trish, Mark will never wrestle again, never win another title, so we have to do it for him. When you get back your gonna win that damn womans belt and I'm gonna win the World then we can show people that Mark lives on, through us. If he's our drive then he'll be winning won't he?"
"Yeah, I guess"
So I hadn't retired, instead stepping up my training even more and worked as hard as I could. When I came back I was better than ever and as my opponents will testify I kicked ass. All the training meant I wanted the best I could get and I pissed of the rookie European Champ. When I got my title shot I decided to make the best of it. When I won it I broke down in tears in the ring and had to run backstage. It killed me to have to wait but I'd promised..//
"Great a flower sellar" I looked over at the florists and begun to search for what I was looking for. I was so lucky I found them it's really hard. I paid for my flowers and continued down the street.
//Later on the same night I won mine Glen won the World title again. When he retrieved it I ran out and we stood together in the ring. I begun to cry again, and Glen hugged me, as I received a mic. At first I motioned for him to talk but he just kept nudging me, willing me on.
"Everyone knows that nine months ago we lost a superstar. For twelve years he kicked ass entertained you. It was a loss to everyone when he died and people thought that they had seen the last of him." at this point Glen took the mic from me as I couldn't carry on "The Undertaker was my closest friend, and he was Trish's as well. Since his death we have been driven towards winning these by wanting to make him proud. Now on the same night we have done that. He isn't here to get them but he needs to know" At this point I got the mic back again "These are the symbols of our love and respect for one man, Mark these are for you" At this point they put his video montage on the wall complete with a remix of all his music. That night for the first time I wept in happiness. Happiness that his life had been so special, for the gifts that he left not just me but everyone he'd ever fought, loved and cared for.//
I arrived at my destination, and entered the gates. As I thought there was no sign of Sara. I wondered through to the place I knew so well, I'd walked this path so often it was burned into my mind. And there it was.
As always when I visited him took a sharp breath, this always brought it back to me. But a strange calm descended the area as I knelt down. As always when I visited him I read the inscription on his head stone. I'd had Glen suggested Sara. She'd had it put on but pretended it was her idea, saying it was the last thing he'd said to her, only me and Glen knew the truth
Mark Callaway 1962 - 2002 Loving husband and Friend
"The most important thing you'll ever know is love. Never forget how much I love you"
I checked my watch "3:00pm" I said and placed the roses on his grave. Then at 3:03 I pulled out the..
"Trish no!" I heard a yell and almost fell over, the shining metal slipping out of my hand. Running towards me was Glen, looking worried and he almost tripped twice in his hurry. "Glen what the hell?" I asked bending down to retrieve what I'd dropped. I heard him behind me "Don't he needs you to carry.." Glen obviously saw the golden plaque I'd dropped and stopped mid sentence. I glared at him "Shhh."
I placed the little plaque in front of the roses. Checking my watch I counted down the seconds at "3:07" I kissed the gravestone and drew back.
"3:07" Glen asked when I rose again
"One year EXACTLY since he died"
"You remember?" he asked, the look on my face telling him I did.
"Come on, we've a life to celebrate" I called back over my shoulder as I gave one last glance to the headstone. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a shape behind the stone smiling at me. I turned around to look properly and he gave his sexy smile and then walked away. "What's up Trish?"
"Oh nothing.I thought I saw something" and with that I ran after Glen.
This chapter is the last I promise! I'm not actually sure if it works, but I think it does.It took me long enough anyway! I think I've said this is almost every chapter and who am I to break with tradition - Hope you enjoy!
A year after his death
I look out the window, there is rain running down it and I can barely see the building opposite my room. I felt the lump in my throat that had been there everyday since he was taken from me. I rise from my bed and walk to the bathroom. I'm not here for fun, I've a duty to carry out and it has to be done on time. I pour myself into the shower and turn it on as hot as I could stand it.
//The funeral was as I expected. Organised by a bunch of people who barely knew him, saying what a perfect husband and friend he was. The only people who really knew about this (Me and Glen) didn't have a say though, we just sat at the back, united in grief. Even at the wake Sara waltzed around like a queen, baring down on people who didn't want to talk to her. As you can tell in this last year I've come to like her even less. My problem comes with the fact that she is now engaged again. To another (younger) wrestler. I don't know how she could possibly have moved on in such a short time because I certainly haven't. Each day I wake up and want nothing more than to hug him, kiss him, or even just phone him. To hear his voice telling me it was okay, I'd kill for it.
My regret is I never got to tell him what had happened. It worries me that he went to his grave not knowing the full truth, I hate it. At first I blamed Glen for not letting me phone him, but now I know that if I had phoned him before and he yelled at me..lets say I wouldn't be here telling you this.
I almost wasn't as it is. That night when Glen told me I spent hours just sat on the floor numb with shock. When the heart wrenching pain and soul splitting grief begun I had placed a shard of the vodka bottle to my wrist. It was a miracle what happened next, My phone received a message so I dropped the glass to see it. When I looked it was from Mark, he must have sent it before he set off and it got delayed. The message was simple yet intriguing. Seeing when it was sent, makes it almost prophetic.
"The most important thing you'll ever know is love. Never forget how much I love you"
This message is still on my phone to this day. I've also got those words written on the picture of us in by my bed and in my wallet.//
I climb out of the shower, wrap a towel around and walk over to get my clothes from the bag. I lay them down on the bed and study them, taking a moment to dwell on each of the specially picked garments.
Black lace edged bra - He always loved it, and I haven't worn it since he .
My black wrestling trousers -I was often in them when we saw each other.
A black corset top - We brought it together. Mark used to hate shopping so it was a huge victory when I got him to come with me. He picked this and I didn't like it a first, but when I tried it on I fell in love with it. (his excellent taste)
A leather waistcoat - I once stole it from him just before he went out to the ring, and he got quite angry as he thought he'd lost it. he had to get something else to wear, and was almost late. When he got back it was hung on the peg and he knew it was me, lots of tickling and kissing ensued and in the end I kept it.
The coat I was wearing on the day he died - I think this one needs no explanation.
I began to pull them on and my mind wondered, bored by this task.
//I got injured soon after his death. I couldn't concentrate in the ring and Molly tried a Molly-go-round on me that went wrong, ending with me dislocating a shoulder. They thought about two months off, but I ripped a muscle in my arm and they kept me out a further 2. By the time I got back everyone was almost back to normal and though he was still missed, life was going on. For me though it couldn't. I was still clumsy in the ring and this time I broke my ankle again, only a week after I returned. I was close to giving up but then I decided to use Mark as my inspiration, and win another title. In my first PPV match back I won the light heavyweight. After my match I dedicated it to Taker and then went backstage to cry. I'd made him proud I knew it, and that made me proud.//
I still had that belt, sat on my bed blinking at me. I bent down and gave it a light kiss.
I checked the clock, everything was timed perfectly, I knew exactly what time everything must take place and I was on schedule as I pulled on my coat. This time I would meet him, I knew it.
I slicked on a little Nearly Nude lipgloss, and gave myself a half smile. It still hurt, but now the searing pain was a dull ache, that would flare from time to time. //The day after he died I went to the hospital, and managed to see him when Sara wasn't there, with Glen. It was then when the burning, murderous pain that I thought would kill me, begun. It was like somebody was holding a lighted match under my heart, so it burned, then they begun stabbing me with pins. People could say what they wanted about psychosomatic illness, but for the fortnight after his death I was in non stop physical pain. I cried until my eyes stung as if acid had been thrown at them. I spent four days straight in bed, and would have stayed there if it wasn't for Glen.//
I gave myself the once over in the mirror and confidently stepped into the corridor, no worries this time, just confident purpose. The door firmly shut behind I began walked down the corridor, smiling at the people I passed, holding the door for someone. This time I had left plenty of time.
//Glen was my rock through out, keeping me going. When ever I got upset he would comfort me, and looked after me for the first month. When I got injured he often came to visit me, updating me on the locker room, and telling me about himself. The best thing was that we could talk about Mark. Not Taker who the fans knew, or Mark who Sara knew, our own individual Mark's and how we loved them. We reminisced together, we wept together, finding strength in each other. I almost invited him today but I feel its something I must do alone. One thing I loved about Mark was his ability to listen, and Glen's was almost as good. //
I stepped out onto the street, happily noting the rain. I wondered down the sidewalk and across the road. Suddenly my devil may care attitude goes, and as if possessed I began to hurry more. I dash down a side street, and into the little back alley. Its as if I'd never left because as I open the door to the bar I see two men, one sat on a stool the other wiping glasses. I walk over "What's your poison"
"Bottle of Bud" he passed me a bottle and I took back to the same seat. I drink with a calm poise and watch the clock. Then after twenty minutes another man comes in, wearing the same jacket as last year. I watch for a while before finishing the last of the beer and placing my bottle down. I stand, pulling my jacket back on and walk to the door, pausing just before I open it and taking a deep breath. The hard part comes next.
//When I found out I was going to be out a while again I decided to retire. I felt I could never concentrate on my ring work and it would just cause me to wallow allday. I felt my heart sink every time I even looked at a wrestling ring. So the best option was out and I wrote my letter of resignation. Since Mark's death I'd lost touch with most of my friends except Glen, so it was only him I had to tell. I expected him to be really supportive but instead he got angry. "You can't just leave, if Mark knew it was his fault you left he'd die all over again!"
"But."
"No But, Trish, Mark will never wrestle again, never win another title, so we have to do it for him. When you get back your gonna win that damn womans belt and I'm gonna win the World then we can show people that Mark lives on, through us. If he's our drive then he'll be winning won't he?"
"Yeah, I guess"
So I hadn't retired, instead stepping up my training even more and worked as hard as I could. When I came back I was better than ever and as my opponents will testify I kicked ass. All the training meant I wanted the best I could get and I pissed of the rookie European Champ. When I got my title shot I decided to make the best of it. When I won it I broke down in tears in the ring and had to run backstage. It killed me to have to wait but I'd promised..//
"Great a flower sellar" I looked over at the florists and begun to search for what I was looking for. I was so lucky I found them it's really hard. I paid for my flowers and continued down the street.
//Later on the same night I won mine Glen won the World title again. When he retrieved it I ran out and we stood together in the ring. I begun to cry again, and Glen hugged me, as I received a mic. At first I motioned for him to talk but he just kept nudging me, willing me on.
"Everyone knows that nine months ago we lost a superstar. For twelve years he kicked ass entertained you. It was a loss to everyone when he died and people thought that they had seen the last of him." at this point Glen took the mic from me as I couldn't carry on "The Undertaker was my closest friend, and he was Trish's as well. Since his death we have been driven towards winning these by wanting to make him proud. Now on the same night we have done that. He isn't here to get them but he needs to know" At this point I got the mic back again "These are the symbols of our love and respect for one man, Mark these are for you" At this point they put his video montage on the wall complete with a remix of all his music. That night for the first time I wept in happiness. Happiness that his life had been so special, for the gifts that he left not just me but everyone he'd ever fought, loved and cared for.//
I arrived at my destination, and entered the gates. As I thought there was no sign of Sara. I wondered through to the place I knew so well, I'd walked this path so often it was burned into my mind. And there it was.
As always when I visited him took a sharp breath, this always brought it back to me. But a strange calm descended the area as I knelt down. As always when I visited him I read the inscription on his head stone. I'd had Glen suggested Sara. She'd had it put on but pretended it was her idea, saying it was the last thing he'd said to her, only me and Glen knew the truth
Mark Callaway 1962 - 2002 Loving husband and Friend
"The most important thing you'll ever know is love. Never forget how much I love you"
I checked my watch "3:00pm" I said and placed the roses on his grave. Then at 3:03 I pulled out the..
"Trish no!" I heard a yell and almost fell over, the shining metal slipping out of my hand. Running towards me was Glen, looking worried and he almost tripped twice in his hurry. "Glen what the hell?" I asked bending down to retrieve what I'd dropped. I heard him behind me "Don't he needs you to carry.." Glen obviously saw the golden plaque I'd dropped and stopped mid sentence. I glared at him "Shhh."
I placed the little plaque in front of the roses. Checking my watch I counted down the seconds at "3:07" I kissed the gravestone and drew back.
"3:07" Glen asked when I rose again
"One year EXACTLY since he died"
"You remember?" he asked, the look on my face telling him I did.
"Come on, we've a life to celebrate" I called back over my shoulder as I gave one last glance to the headstone. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a shape behind the stone smiling at me. I turned around to look properly and he gave his sexy smile and then walked away. "What's up Trish?"
"Oh nothing.I thought I saw something" and with that I ran after Glen.