"Ask and you shall receive."

Suddenly, Kaworu stopped. He was snickering - his eyes were hollow, and some other consciousness rested behind them. This was not the Kaworu I -

PAIN.

I had felt pain before, but it was nothing in comparison. Kaworu was raking fingernails through my flesh, shattering my reverie.

"Lillim, lillim. Don't you know how much Angels hate you? Did you forget, child, who I was?"

Inhumanly strong hands tore open my chest. I gurgled out a scream - what was happening? Why? Why? Why?

Familiar liquid trailed from my eyes - and increased when he laughed at the sight and easily gouged another hole in my battered body.

How can I suffer pain here? How? Was this not death - with no body, how can I feel?

My beliefs didn't matter here. You don't need to believe in a body or pain for it to be real.

I gasped for the breath I needed to sob - wasn't I even allowed to cry?

I hated rejection, and this was, to my mind, the worst form of it - Kaworu tearing me apart. I didn't deserve the heaven I had been experiencing, but no one deserved the hell I felt now. I would not wish it on the blackest soul, for they could not possibly deserve it.

Perhaps.

Perhaps I did. I had killed him, hadn't I?

"You deserve it." Kaworu hissed, grinning savagely, guessing my thoughts, "You deserve it."

I deserved it.

I deserved. Yes. I was scum. Scum. Here was an angel that I had dared to love, and even he told me so. Angels do not lie.

I tried - tried to bear the pain. But God, (who must hate me too - what had I done to deserve his love, either? Scum.. I was scum..).it HURT!!!

Within my rapidly deteriorating chest, my heart keened in a pain greater than even the physical one.

He hate you. He hates you. He hates -

I deserved it. I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

"I'm sorry!" I spoke this last one aloud, and was rewarded with a cold laugh..

"No you aren't. You aren't sorry enough, Lillim!" A pale, beautiful hand.. A soft hand. slapped my cheek hard enough that it brought skin off with it.

I was never going to be sorry enough.

But I was so, so sorry..

I'm scum.

Scum..

So sorry.

Sorry.

And as this was not the physical word, really, (wherever I was), my body did not black out from the shock or the pain or the loss of blood.

Lying there, among my blood and feathers, I took each deserved strike.

It was not going to end. You can not die twice.

And Kaworu dug fingers into one eye as the other one cried.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry..