Chapter Two: How We Grew Together

My life as a student in Balamb Garden was mostly uneventful. I guess, in all honesty, I wasn't a "normal" student there. I didn't have any friends in the Garden (all my friends back in town went to a public school), and I didn't know anybody well, so I guess you could say I was kind of like a hermit. I never went to any parties during my stay, not that I would have been invited anyway, and I never really went "out". It wasn't like I didn't want to be left out, I just… wasn't part of the "in" crowd.

They say that birds of a feather flock together, and Balamb is a menagerie for the feathered kind. First, we have the peacocks. You know who I'm talking about when I say peacocks: the young men and women who must always wear the newest and/or trendiest clothes, or drive the most expensive cars, and have the best jobs, and so on and so forth. There are also the cuckoo birds, which is also self-explanatory. These birds seem to be the oddest of the group, whether they try to be different or not.

There are the birds that dress in black and walk around with Gloom written all over them (ravens), and there are birds who circle overhead just waiting for some poor dope to keel over (buzzards). There are birds in the band (OH, are there birds in the band!) and there are birds that play sports, and birds who flirt, and birds who receive flirts. There are some flightless birds around, who are quite different from everyone else but are still nice, then there are the annoying birds, and the tiny birds, and the gigantic birds. There are fast birds and slow birds, proud birds and humble birds, herbivorous birds and carnivorous birds, fat birds and skinny birds, and spiritual birds and atheistic birds, and……

Well, the list goes on. My point is this: if birds of a feather flock together, then "my" species has got to be extinct. Has to be. I don't see any clique or group that I seem to fit into; no organization or club to be a part of; no gang of buddies, or a buddy of gangs, to hang around with… I'm basically a bird that has no flock, a bird of which is the last of his kind, and in a sense that's great, but most of the time it just plain sucks.

Sorry, I got off on another track. I know I seem quiet a lot of the time, but believe me, if there were people around to listen, I'd talk all day. I would surprise people by how much I have to say. Honestly! But, I guess nobody really has time for me, or even if they did, I guess they only care to stay around for a few seconds, ask how I'm doing, then leave immediately. I have to wonder… if they really wanted to know how I was, then why don't they stay around longer and find out?

Anyway, I'll stop talking now. I can see that I'm just boring everybody. I guess my droning comes from many years of being by myself, with a close but small cadre of friends who knew me a little better than most other people. But now I'm in Garden, and all by myself, and I suppose I'll get used to it in time. "NIDA FRANKS… who was he again? Wasn't he… You know, I can't recall him." Yeah, that's what they'll say.

The good news is, girls like a mysterious guy!

The bad news is, I'm completely harmless. Most "mysterious men" are either the rebellious type, or else they're dark and moody and "hurting on the inside", or else they're jerks. Hey, don't question my observations! I know this stuff! My mouth may not be working all the time, but my eyes and ears are! I see things, and I remember things, and maybe in the end, I just may have the last laugh when it comes time for our class reunion.

Oh God, I'm so pathetic… But at least You understand me! (I tried hanging around the spiritual, or "religious" group, for a little while. They're mostly nice people, and pretty warm, but I was still overlooked and ignored. I guess I'm just too average for my own good. I guess I belong in that category, but… I'm more than just some guy who goes into his room and reads his scriptures! I'm also this, and this, and this, and…)

Never mind. You don't care. Anyway, all this is just a lot of stuff that's been on my mind. Because I don't go out often (I live in my dorm and my classroom, basically), I have lots of time to think about things. I guess I'm smart in that way, but I don't know. If somebody told me that ignorance was bliss, then I might be tempted to believe them. Smart people, or wise people, just don't seem to have much fun. They're always thinking too much; it's the ignorant ones who don't think, and they seem to be all right.

It's so depressing. Oh well. I guess I can have some consolidation in the fact that, because of my education (and my thoughts), I'll have a good-paying job, and those ignorant people will be forced to serve hot dogs in the cafeteria. It's not much of a comfort, but I take what I can get.

Wow. Personal thought takes up more time and space than I could have imagined, but then again, I do have a lot on my mind. Anyway, I guess I should get back to my story before my audience leaves me. Where was I…?

Oh yeah, I had just went through my first day of class in the Garden, and boy! Was it a trip! I was late, I was lost, I got caught by the disciplinary group, I sat through a good ten or so minutes of grilling from Seifer, I was dragged around by this creepy woman, I got weird stares from my classmates, I already have some hard homework… Whew!!!

The creepy woman… her name was Fujin. I didn't know her too well, but I couldn't help but feel a little bad for what I put her through the other day. Ha… it's been about… oh, two days since I last saw her, and I'm starting to feel guilty. It wasn't really my fault, after all--I was lost! I didn't know where I was going! The simplest map in the world wouldn't have helped me in that big Garden! It was just a case of mistaken identity. She thought I was a truant, and until I showed her friend my initiation papers, I was labeled as thus.

So the pride she must've felt from dragging me all the way down there had been shattered to pieces, and if there was anything left, it was long gone by the time she dragged me back up to my classroom. She had a right to be angry, as I had a right to be angry too, but I guess her anger outweighed my own. After all, what pride did I have, except in my accomplishments? But she… ah, she had pride by the barrel, and I had broken that barrel on a rock, without even meaning to.

The humiliation of catching an innocent person is a surefire way to kill one's pride, and to be given the task of escorting this person back to where they're supposed to be (like a mother guides a son she's irritated with) must've been a horrible blow for her. I had wanted to apologize, but I felt like I had done enough damage for the day (even though it really wasn't my fault).

So I waited a few days, just to make sure she had time to cool off.

Gentlemen, take notes. If a lady's mad in any way, give her time to cool off. That goes for you too, girls. If your man's angry, let him stew a little while before you talk. It's the smartest thing to do. Remember, better to confront a peaceful lion than an angry one.

So, two days passed for me, and I memorized where my class was so I wouldn't get lost again (not that I wanted to, after what happened to me). I was given homework, and I studied and finished it like a good student, and I got good but not perfect marks. I'm no genius, and I didn't expect to get valedictorian, but I never complained about my good grades, either. Anyway, I decided that I liked the class, and the school in general, though there were things wrong with both, just like any other school.

If I wanted to become SeeD, I had to select some kind of "major" to focus on. I'll never boast of being the world's greatest fighter, so I just decided to go for the brainy department. In other words, I chose the SeeD strategist department, and thusly got placed in one of the tougher (but ultimately, more rewarding) fields. My classmates were few but brilliant, and a few of them even went on to become instructors.

Now in this story I'm telling, my education really doesn't play a major role, but I thought I'd get a few things out in the open just in case. I was a student too, after all, and I had classes and homework and problems just like everyone--except I didn't belong in a group. I was just Nida Franks, student #178763, majoring in strategic maneuvers. Patience, patience… the real story is soon to come.

One rainy day, I was on my lunch break from classes. I had an hour to get down to the cafeteria and find something to eat before the next class started, and with my luck, I'd probably be left with all the junk food. Classes are on the 2nd floor and the cafeteria is on the first, so if you add in the number of hungry students to that mix and do the math, you'll see why I was so pessimistic about my choices.

Anyway, while I was going to the cafeteria, who of all people should I run into but my "captor", the pale woman known as Fujin?! The hallways were not too congested, so I could see her easily, and I assume she could see me, so as we spotted each other, some obvious discomfort rose up (and it wasn't the roaring in my stomach). After all, I had broken her pride.

Her face never was that bright or cheerful, but when she spotted me, it instantly became dark. The dark-gray clouds outside suddenly seemed white as wool as her face contorted, and I could tell that she was in a bad mood. Any person who was not especially close to her would have been mauled if they so much as spoke to her, and I felt like I was signing my own death papers when I gave off my best smile and stopped her.

"…Uh… hi," I managed. Okay, so I'll never win any awards for public speaking, but come on… I'm practically a hermit here. I'm not a big talker. "…Uh… well…"

"WHAT?" she barked, her powerful voice sending many younger students flying backwards a little. Lucky kids. They didn't have to confront her. I did. Pausing for just a few seconds so I could get the words out right, I stammered and tried summing up my feelings. This was harder than it sounds, believe me.

"…About the other day…" I began. She kept her dark look, lucky me. "Well… I, uh, just want to, uh, apologize for anything I did. I… didn't mean to, uh… make you feel uncomfortable or anything, but… Well, I guess I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." She snorted, her lip curling like a tigress before the kill (Oh, the similarity!!), and crossed her arms. When she breathed, it was very loud and thoughtful, like every inhalation was a new concept. Her silence was the most disturbing.

"…So… I'm sorry," I repeated, extending my arm out. I would have had better luck painting a bull's-eye on my back and hoping to dodge a missile than to gain her acceptance. She didn't move at all, except to blink her single red eye and to breathe.

"…Can you forgive me?" I asked, even though I really didn't need it. I was ready to accept all the blame, and I would have done it, if she gave me the chance. She didn't. She just kept still, glaring at me like Polyphemus must've glared at Ulysses. I swallowed, sighed, and grew a little braver.

"Listen," I said, "I don't want to cause any more trouble. I want to end this thing, right here and now. I'm willing to take the blame if you want me to, but I have to know if you forgive me or not. I'm trying to apologize here, and… you're not doing anything!" She snorted, and tilted her head in silent observation. I continued to look at her, to see if there was any sign of her forgiveness, or at least her understanding, but all she gave me was silence. I may be a quiet guy myself, but I'm not rude.

"Well, fine," I sighed, after giving it all the effort I had. "I tried to apologize, and this is what I get…" I continued to mumble to myself, and left her standing there as I continued to go towards the cafeteria. I didn't even bother to look back. What in the world was her problem?! I tried to do the honorable thing and patch things up, and all I got was the cold shoulder! Even if she had scorched me with her own bitter words, it would have been something!

Calm down, Nida. Just take some time to cool off. If she's going to be like that, then it's not worth the effort.

Well, I managed to snag a Reuben and some chips, and my obligatory glass of water, so I guess I was a little luckier than I thought. The cafeteria was a lot less crowded than I thought, so I found an empty table easily (the table would most likely remain empty throughout the lunch hour). I sat, prayed, and dug into my Reuben for a few good minutes, when suddenly I was joined by the very last person I expected: Fujin.

Like an executioner pacing before a victim of the guillotine, she slowly advanced towards my table with a small bag of popcorn in her hand. She came in from my behind, so I had no chance to prepare myself at all; it was all spontaneous, lucky me. So just like that, she snuck up on me and sat right across from me, sitting herself down and placing the bag on the table. I swallowed as her empty, horrid stare bore into my eyes, and wished I was anywhere but there.

And then, strangely enough, she began to munch on her popcorn. Slowly, one by one, she stuffed kernels into her mouth and continued to glare into my face. I felt about as sick as a kid in a roller-coaster as she kept her stare and her silence. I wanted to say something, anything, but all I could do was watch as she ate. Even her eating habits were painfully slow and deliberate, and pretty unnerving. Then, suddenly, she stuck out her hand.

"FUJIN," she said. I swallowed, and cursed the polite guy inside of me as I introduced myself.

"Nida," I said, and our hands touched for the first time in brittle understanding. Fujin slowly lost her icy stare as our hands shook, and her head tilted slightly. A slight glint of understanding was in her ruby eye, and she almost looked harmless.

"CONFUSING," she muttered softly. "WHY APOLOGIZE?"

"Hm?" My face became confused as I tried to understand what she was saying, and she grunted in slight irritation.

"EARLIER," she motioned with her hand, "YOU APOLOGIZE. WHY?"

"OH!" Okay, now I understood. "…Uh… well, you know… I kinda… felt bad for what I put you through." Her eye blinked once, and she gazed a little deeper.

"PUT ME THROUGH? MEANING?"

"Huh?"

"WHAT… DO YOU… MEAN?" she managed. Nowadays I know better than to ask Fujin to emphasize her words, but back then I was just a clueless young boy. Her fashion of speaking wasn't exactly her fault, but I didn't know that. I should have apologized even more after that, but…

"…I mean… what happened the other day," I said. "I know it really wasn't my fault, but… I guess I kinda broke your pride the other day. I mean, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Seifer making you take me all the way back to my class--"

"CONFUSING!" emphasized Fujin, giving the air a poke with her hand. "WHY APOLOGIZE? FEEL SORRY?"

"…I broke your pride," I repeated, letting my head rest on my hand. "I felt really bad for what I put you through. Yeah, I guess I did feel sorry." Fujin slowly nodded her head, and leaned back in her chair to think. I couldn't read her expression, but from what little I knew about women, she was probably thinking about what I had told her. After a minute or two of silence between us, Fujin gained a small smile--almost too small enough to notice. She leaned forward again, and the smile increased by a fraction.

"STRANGE," she said.

"That I apologize?" I asked. Fujin nodded her head. "Why?"

"NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE."

"You mean nobody's ever apologized to you before?" She paused, thought, rolled her eye around. I found it slightly flattering that she spent so much time thinking, and not using her mouth like a normal girl would.

"…AFFIRMATIVE," she said slowly, "BUT… NOT LIKE THAT."

"What do you mean?"

"NOT YOUR FAULT," said Fujin in a soft voice. "MINE. MISTAKE. ASHAMED. NOT HINDRANCE." As much as I tried to keep up with what she was saying, I couldn't understand a word she said. I tried piecing it together, but I had little success. The end translation was that the fault was hers, and she was more ashamed of herself than angry at me, and that I was not a hindrance.

She was apologizing to me.

"…Are you offering an apology?" I asked. She slowly nodded her head, boring into me with that red-hot eye of hers.

"FORGIVE?" she asked, and pointed to herself. "FOOL."

"No, I should be apologizing. I completely wrecked your pride!" She smiled at me, she really smiled, and I found that look both haunting… and beautiful.

"NO, I APOLOGIZE!" she insisted.

"No, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed. We both paused briefly, and broke out in smiles.

"APOLOGY ACCEPTED," she said.

"And I forgive you," I said. We both smiled, shook hands, and I do believe our new relationship started at that point.

After that, the two of us spent most of our lunch talking, and we both found out the nice way that we had a lot in common. I knew, almost from the beginning, that Fujin was not a big talker, and even in the middle of a conversation, she really didn't have much to say. But what she did say was so simple and thoughtful and honest that I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before. Sure, she wasn't big on words, but when she did speak, she got her point across.

Of course, now that I actually had an audience, I let loose and blabbed about anything I could think of. All the while I spoke, about my past and why I was at Garden, she gazed back at me with her elbows on the table and her chin resting in her palms. I think she found it fascinating that somebody so average and "normal" had so much on his mind, and never once did she lose her smile.

"…I'm boring you, aren't I?" I asked in the middle of our talk. Fujin smiled, and shook her head no.

"LIKE LISTENING," she said. "NOT TALKER."

"Me neither, or at least, not usually." I gave her a weak smile, and she returned it, and I was liking her more and more. Something drew me to her, something I had never seen in any other girl before. Sure, she was different physically, and verbally, but there was something else behind all that, something within that attracted me to her. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves now. I still have a lot of story to tell before I get into that.

"…You know," I said out of the blue, "I've always wanted to be known as somebody special. I don't think I'll ever pull it off, because who in their right mind would notice me, but… I still have dreams and goals just like everybody else."

"EXAMPLE?" asked Fujin. I was overjoyed that she actually cared enough to inquire. She wanted me to go on! Not too many people paid that much attention to me; maybe that's what drew me to her. She cared.

"…Well," I began, "it's always been a dream of mine to be some kind of knight, like in days of old."

"KNIGHT?"

"Yeah… a knight. You know, saving the damsel in distress, fighting dragons, riding on horses, wearing shiny armor… that sort of thing. I figured that becoming a SeeD was my best chance at that, but even then, I ended up taking a strategic field." Fujin had been smiling up until the point where I mentioned my study major, then she tilted her head to the side in silent confusion.

"I'm not cut out to be a fighter," I said. I unrolled my sleeve a little, showing her my thin arms. "See? There's hardly any muscle there." Fujin blankly nodded her head, then suddenly leaned forward to touch my arm. Oh, that touch was so… different… I don't know how else to explain it. I had been touched by a girl before, several actually (mostly by accident), but this feeling was different somehow… Like, when a child who has been eating vegetables and liver all his life suddenly gets his first taste of fruit and milk. It was a cool touch, not chilling, and rough, but not coarse. I'm no good at explaining things…

"NOT IMPORTANT," she said, gazing at me with her single eye. She rolled up my sleeve, and crossed her arms as if to study me. "STRENGTH FADES. TEMPORARY. UNRELIABLE." She then pointed to her heart. "BUT THIS… ETERNAL. VITAL. UNDERSTAND?" Of course I did. I understood her so much that I smiled. My God… this frightening woman, pale and quiet as the moon, was a romantic on the inside, just like I was. I wondered, if she secretly pursued her own dreams of fame and glory, and honor, and knights…

I'd find out sooner or later.

"Yeah," I said, "I understand. Sorry. I'd just like to--"

"UNDERSTAND," she said softly, giving me an emotionless but soft look. Wow. She understood me. She knew exactly what I meant. Not too many people can boast that. Smiling, I tried to act cool and thank her, but my performance failed and I ended up looking silly. But, what I did do was honest, and sincere, albeit rather shaky and improvised.

Suddenly, Fujin and I were joined by two very familiar and very infamous faces, and both my eyes rolled a hundred-eighty degrees as Seifer and Raijin sat down next to us. They both smiled semi-wicked smiles as they joined Fujin, but grew somewhat surprised as they saw me.

"Hey," pointed Seifer, "I know you! Yeah! You're the kid who Fu caught by accident!" I didn't like the rough way he greeted me, nor the way he slapped my back. I didn't know whether he was friendly on the inside, or just plain weird, or what.

"My name is Nida," I said flatly, and he shrugged.

"All right, fine. Well, Fu, looks like you found a friend!" Fujin's eye was the only thing that moved on her body, and it only twitched for a second as it darted towards my direction.

"AFFIRMATIVE," she said. Seifer smiled, then drank some soda. I was sure that these two guys weren't just here to socialize, so in the most polite terms I could, I asked Fujin who they were. With a sigh, she pointed to both and gave me her usual brief explanation.

"SEIFER ALMASY," she pointed to the blonde, and he smiled proudly.

"Just call me 'Boss', kid," he saluted. I rolled my eyes in a vain effort to humor him.

"Your boyfriend?" I asked Fujin, and she suddenly drew back in disgust. Even I could decipher that, and Seifer… well…

"Hey!" he shouted. "I'm insulted! Fujin, how could you think so low of me?" Pouting still, he turned towards me and placed an unwelcome arm around my shoulder. "We were once an item, kid, but not anymore. That was ages ago, right Raij?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah…" muttered the dark-skinned man of the group. He was looking away in another direction, and unless somebody called his name, he probably wouldn't be a part of the conversation. Seifer snorted.

"…Right," he mumbled. "Anyway, kid, Fu here's currently available if you're thinking of hooking up with her."

"SILENCE!" barked Fujin suddenly. Her kind face was long gone, and had been replaced by an angry one. I'm glad I wasn't the one who agitated her.

"Whaaaaaat??"

"EMBARRASSING," muttered Fujin darkly. Seifer's mouth became twisted with emotion, but he merely lifted his drink in a weak toast and shrugged everything off. Trying to pacify the situation, I decided to change the subject and asked who the other person was.

"RAIJIN," muttered Fujin, who looked like she was not in the best of moods. "BROTHER." Ahh, now I think I understood things!

"Yeah, we don't look like we're related, but we are, ya know?" smiled Raijin, giving Fujin's neck a hug. She growled and threw his arms off in annoyance, but he only smiled. Yeah, I think I understood how things went now…

"…So, are you guys like a posse or something?" I asked, trying to divert Fujin's anger elsewhere. Seifer mumbled something, and stroked his chin in thought.

"A posse, eh?" he said. "Hmmm… yeah, I guess you could say that. Yeah… we're sorta like a posse, the three of us. You know, kid, it may not look like it, but these two are really the only friends I have."

"Really?" I asked, now feeling concerned. Did I actually hear him right? Did he say that this mismatched group of his were the only friends he knew? Amazing! Just like me! Well, not really, but… ah, you know what I mean! Anyway, I guess the four of us were loners, except people feared Seifer and his crew, and not me…

"Yeah," he grumbled. "Nobody else seems to like us. Boo-hoo!!" Seifer was anything but sad, though. He was laughing, out loud, at a joke I guess only he understood. Fujin and Raijin smiled only to humor him, and so did I. I wanted to say how I, too, was a kind of unwanted person, and that I had few friends as well, and so on and so forth, but wouldn't you know it?! The lunch bell rang, right then and there!

The cafeteria was filled with groans as the students shuffled off to empty their waste, or to finish off their meals, and they would only have a few more minutes to make it to class. Seifer and his crew decided that they had better leave too, since not even they were exempt from the rules, and with several curt farewells, the two men left the table to go stalk truants. I found it amusing, in a dark way, that I could very well join their list of victims if I didn't hurry. I no longer had an excuse, after all.

"Looks like we'd better go too," I said to Fujin, who had kindly stayed behind. She silently nodded her head, her face once again expressionless, and stood to throw away her empty bag. Before leaving, she turned around and gave me a faint smile.

"GOOD TALK," she said. "ENJOYED. DO AGAIN?" I shrugged.

"Well… ahhh… I guess we can meet again tomorrow. Sure, I'd like that." Her smile increased very much, almost to the point of grinning, and she waved farewell before turning around.

"OH," she said before vanishing completely, "SHOULD HURRY. WILL BE LATE. DON'T WANT DETENTION." I smiled at her dry humor, and outwardly told her that I'd rather not reenact the events of my first day.

Secretly, though, I did want to be caught again. All that embarrassment might've been worth it to see her again. …Oh jeez, I'm turning into some kind of love-sick freak. Well… maybe not. Forget about it. At least we were on good terms now.