Chapter Five: How We Separated
As clichéd as it sounds, the SeeD ball was a night to remember. I think it was a pretty wise idea to let people who didn't make SeeD into the ballroom--otherwise, there only would have been three other people there! ……Besides me, that is! Yup, I made SeeD, just like I always wanted, and to my surprise, there were only three others who had passed with me: Squall Leonhart, Zell Dincht, and Selphie Tilmitt (I think). Sadly, Seifer didn't make it, but once I understood why, I could figure things out for myself.
The ball itself was wonderful, but my date was anything but happy. My presence always made her a little more cheerful than usual, but I don't think even I could have persuaded her to smile. The poor dear tried, for my sake, but it was clear that she was of in another world--obviously in a quiet, hidden rage over Seifer's failure. More than anyone else in the Garden (except Raijin), she knew Seifer better than anyone, so I guess she did feel pretty down at the moment.
I did my best to cheer her up.
"Remember, Fujin," I told her, "there were dozens of other people who took that test, and not just from Balamb. I heard that there were Trabians in there as well, so don't feel too bad. You know how strict those tests were." Silence. Fujin leaned her head against my shoulder (despite the fact that we were almost the same height), and scowled quietly.
"IRRITATED," she muttered. I sighed, and tried my best to dance with my girlfriend. Fujin was just barely moving her feet, and although there was a sprightly waltz playing, we really didn't dance much ourselves. I think I may have even bumped into someone out of carelessness. But my lack of speed was all right--my girl was… well, she was irritated, of course, and I honestly couldn't blame her. Seifer might not have been the most loveable guy around, but I had to feel a little sorry for him.
"Is there any way I can cheer you up?" I asked.
"HOLD ME," she said, closing her eye and breathing softly on my neck. I loved that sensation. Most people would be startled to discover one of the feared members of the disciplinary committee be so gentle and soft, but I knew Fujin well, and I knew that behind that rough façade, there was a normal, average, everyday young lady in there, who was just like anyone else. Ha--we had so much in common!
Gladly accepting her request, I held my upset girlfriend softly, and slowly felt her troubles ease away as I rocked on the dance floor. I eventually took her over to a chair, sensing that both of us had danced enough, and kindly offered to get her a drink. She asked for something alcoholic, and I came back with two glasses of champagne.
"Cheers, I guess," I muttered, and I clinked my own glass with hers. Fujin sucked up all the drink like it was no more potent than water; I choked on it.
We left the ballroom earlier than normal. I claimed that Headmaster Cid would probably put me somewhere on assignment the next day and would thus need the sleep, and Fujin felt tired in general. I made the most out of our brittle situation and held her hand as we walked back to our individual dorms.
Our lives would definitely change after this day: I would be a SeeD (SeeD strategist, actually), and she would be inconsolable by all save myself, her brother, and her best friend. The cliché "this is the first day of the rest of your life" came to mind as we walked back to our dorms, and though my sweet, beautiful girlfriend was still in a bad mood, I gave her a loving kiss goodnight and told her that all would be well in the morning.
For the next few weeks, I was one of Headmaster Cid's integral helpers. Along with the competent Xu Xiang (who I had a very minor crush on when I first arrived at Balamb), the two of us would perform all the dirty, behind-the-scenes work, such as filling out papers, running maintenance checks, debriefing other SeeDs, making calls about certain missions, negotiating, etc.
It wasn't the glamorous life I had intended, but hey! I wasn't going to be picky! I was a SeeD and that was that! So who cares if I never really got noticed!? Without Xu and I, this Garden might not function as well as it was right now! …Okay, that may be stretching things, but you have to admit that we were important.
Well anyway, it became clear that the relationship I had with Fujin was different now. I was almost always at work, or else too tired to do anything, and the poor dear was ever-busy in keeping the peace around Balamb. We would usually meet around the weekend, she with her disciplinary papers with her and me with my reports and statistics, and we'd smile and laugh at each other and have a good time.
But for the most part, we didn't run into each other a lot. That was okay--I trusted Fujin completely, and she trusted me, and the ordeal we had both went through proved that we were willing to be patient. After all, we were still quite young, and we would have the rest of our lives to be together. So, it wasn't like this time spent apart was tearing me up inside. Yeah, I missed being with her, and whenever we called each other we mostly expressed silence (because I just can't stand using the phone; it's so impersonal), but I loved her still.
Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder! (Please don't groan.)
On one regular day, the life that I had once known and loved faded away in an explosive confusion. My studies showed me that NORG, the financial backbone of Balamb Garden and an evolved Shumi that I didn't care too much for, had gotten impatient with Headmaster Cid's debts, and decided to one day take over the whole place. Almost all of the Shumi faculty we had sided with NORG, and even some of the students and the SeeDs did too. My allegiance was with Cid, though, so I became the "enemy".
My first task was to inform Fujin and Raijin about what was going on. I knew little myself, so I pretended to be a NORG supporter until things cleared up. The entire Garden was one big mess--people were running everywhere, and I'm sure most of them were just acting like that to confuse everyone else. I myself made it past the faculty and found Fujin and Raijin glaring at a group of delinquents.
"Hey, there's a lotta chaos goin' on around here, so don't be gettin' any ideas, ya know?" said Raijin. The group of students hastily obeyed. I spotted them, and tried not to be too conspicuous as I ran over to them and called their names. Both of them looked happy to see me, although I'll admit that my girl looked a lot happier.
"NIDA! SAFE?" she asked. I had nearly keeled over from running so much.
"For the moment," I managed. "But this whole place has gone crazy! Do you guys know what's going on?"
"I wish we did, ya know?" shrugged Raijin. "We've been helping out wherever we could, but I'm so confused, I don't know where to turn to next."
"DANGEROUS!" emphasized Fujin, and I couldn't disagree if I wanted to.
"Definitely. Look, I'm gonna go defend the Infirmary, and you guys see if you can't help anywhere else!"
"EXAMPLE?"
"See if you can't cause more chaos. I know you both like Cid, so if you make a big mess, that'll stall them a little." Fujin and Raijin both looked at each other, nodded their heads, and let out a sinister grin.
"Hehehe… makin' messes is our business!" declared Raijin proudly. "Ha! We're professionals, ya know?"
"BE SAFE," advised Fujin, gazing into my brown eyes. I smiled and gave her a quick hug, and a friendly peck on the cheek; she forced her lips onto mine, and I gladly accepted the action (though this was not the time for passionate romance). I smiled in amazement after our little session, and she gave me an impish grin.
"LOVE YOU," she said gently. "GO SAVE WORLD, KNIGHT."
"Yeah, you too, Dulcinea!" I kissed her again for good luck, and gave Raijin a handshake, and waved farewell as we parted ways for the time being. I then made my way to the Infirmary, where I was stopped and interrogated by a few older SeeDs. I couldn't blame their suspicion--after all, I had been claiming to be a NORG follower not ten minutes ago--so I identified myself and volunteered to help them protect the medical ward.
I fought pretty well considering that I had not been born a fighter, and I defended the Infirmary and the sick people inside with valor (haha). I was asked by Dr. Kadowaki to stay behind and help clean any messes up, but my concern was slowly being aimed towards Fujin. I hoped that she was okay, and that the Garden would quickly return to normal, and that everything would go back to the way it was. What happened here, anyway? Oh well, I guess I'll find out eventually. It wasn't my concern now.
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Raijin and I slipped out of the Garden before anybody could notice that we were gone. Our first destination was Fisherman's Horizon, yes, but we had other places to be. Seifer was out there, somewhere, living up to his romantic dream without a friend in the world at his side. Though he may be a little brash at times, neither my brother nor myself are people who just up and leave their friends at the slightest notion. I had more faith in Seifer than that. So, because we loved him enough to stand by his side always, this is what we did.
But I couldn't help turning my head and giving the Garden one last, forlorn look. I was leaving behind no friends there, nor were there any people who cared about me there. I would probably not be missed at all, except in the disciplinary committee, and they'd probably have a party when they discovered I was gone. But… I gazed at my pseudo-home for a reason.
I was leaving somebody I loved and trusted very much, and I did not know if I would ever return to him.
"Hey, Fu! Ya there?" Without a word, I returned my focus to the fishing town before me, shrugged, and continued walking. Raijin scratched his head and assumed that all was okay, and lumbered off after me as we left for the mainland. My heart was in deep pain because I was leaving Nida behind, and I feared the letter I left him would never quite express the sentiment that I could (not that I was much of a talker anyway). But… it had to be done. I didn't like long goodbyes, and although I knew my man would understand my leave of absence, I still hated the idea of leaving so suddenly.
But… my friend was facing the world alone, and I could not let that happen.
"Dear Nida,
"I was never good at expressing myself, even around you, and that is probably one of the main reasons why I so often came out as shy and uncertain. You alone, dear knight, know of my gentle secret, and I trust you to keep it for all of time. With that said, bear with me, and I'll try to let you know of what's happening to the best of my insufficient abilities.
"Put simply, my dear friend Seifer is out there in the world, all alone, fighting 'the good fight' I suppose. He is living his romantic dream, but I fear for his safety and his sanity. I know that not even he is strong enough to go through all this by himself, so Raijin and I agreed to accompany him in his journey. I do not know how long we will be gone, or even if we will ever return, but I just want you to know that I am not leaving because of you. I love you very much, my Nida, and I treasure every moment we spent together, even our very first.
"But Seifer is a friend of mine, and if I abandon my friends, then I could never live with myself. Please understand, Nida. I love you, but I love Seifer too, and I shall be at his side even in the valley of the shadow of death. I am not breaking up with you--perhaps this absence might even strengthen our relationship? I will still miss you terribly, and I fear I shall never smile again until I see your face, and I hear you speak to me, and I feel your hand in my own.
"I can't go on. I don't have the will to. I'll have to end this letter soon, so please, dear Nida, please take care of yourself, and take care of those you love. If I never see you again, keep me in your thoughts every day and try to move on. You are a good man, and you will find love easily if you keep looking. But I swear a blood-oath that I will do everything in my power to return to you, so until that time, I am and forever will be,
Faithfully yours and yours alone,
Fujin H. Kazeno"
PS--Try not to crash the Garden when you're piloting it. I love you.
--Fujin's letter that she left Nida before leaving the Garden--