Just Like Her

Chapter 4

The dreams Heero had that night were not as sweet as he would have hoped. The nightmares had returned, the first time since he had left home. Heero woke up in cold sweats two or three times due to the horrible images that tormented his dreams. The last bout of nightmares had woken him up at around five in the morning, way too early for comfort. "Damn it!" he cursed silently as he shuffled into the kitchen, unable to sleep another wink.

Heero brewed a pot of coffee and sat at the kitchen table and supped the bitter brew in an attempt to wake himself up so he could think a little more clearly. His head ached and his eye-lids were still heavy with sleep as bags underlined the rims of his eyes. He kneaded his temples with his forefingers and combed his hands through the mussed brown hair on his head. 'Why does this have to happen now? I was fine and now they've returned, what the hell is going on?' Heero wondered, he was still trying to find a cause to the sudden turn of events. 'It just had to be her, but why? No single person could have this kind of effect on me, or could they? This is so absurd! Why can't I just forget?!' Heero slammed his fists on the table in a fit of emotional defeat. He took a deep breath to calm himself down a bit and then got up from the table, with coffee mug in hand, and trudged over to the window to watch the sunrise.

When Heero opened the window, a cool morning breeze caressed his face, chilling his cheeks ever so slightly. Heero stood there and gazed out at the bright orange sun as it crept up from behind the mountains, its light seeping through onto the valley floor. The sight of it was breathtaking but yet bittersweet, a touch of beauty thrown into a heap of ill fortune. 'First he took Jillian away from me and now this, what a cruel joke God is playing on me.' At that moment, things just didn't make sense to Heero, such as the reason for all of the chaos that has occurred in his short existence. A life doomed to be one of sadness and misfortune. Is that his destiny? It appeared so to him. Over his lifetime, he had gathered substantial evidence to prove his theory. He just couldn't understand the why of the matter, why him.

An onslaught of emotions and thoughts overwhelmed Heero's mind to the point where he felt as if his head was spinning. Heero shut the window and took a seat on the couch, this was too much for him to handle. He buried his face in his hands and cried, he was lost and confused and with no one to turn to. Sobs wracked his weary body for a good ten minutes before he succumbed to slumber that he had been deprived of for so long. His body laid curled up on the couch, the side of his face sunk into the cushion as his damp cheeks moistened the fabric of the couch. His eyes displayed a momentary peace, his sleep would be the only break in the roller-coaster of emotional turmoil up ahead.

"Bang!" the noise echoed from the walls. "Bang bang bang bang," the sound continued repetitively.

A muffled grumbling came from the couch as a bleary-eyed Heero turned over on to his stomach and placed a pillow over his head. The noise persisted relentlessly as was the headache that throbbed in Heero's head. "Grrr, not again," he hissed into the sofa. "Doesn't she realize that some people are still sleeping?" Heero buried his head deeper into the cushion.

The banging raged on even through the pillow Heero had used for the sound barrier and that is when he finally realized that his attempts were futile. Heero chucked the pillow onto the floor and slowly picked himself up off of the couch. 'It's her fault that I couldn't get any sleep in the first place and when I finally do get some, she's the one to disturb it! Why me?' Heero ranted as he shuffled along the floor over to the front door. When he got to her door, he stared at it for a moment. The last time he was at her door, Pandora's box had been opened and a flood of emotions engulfed Heero. He figured at that point, what else could happen?

Heero rapped loudly on Relena's door and shortly after, the pounding stopped. The muffled sound of footsteps could be heard coming to the door. "Coming," a sweet voice rang out from inside.

The footsteps then stopped at the door as Heero stood there waiting for her to open it. Relena peered through her peep hole and a small smile graced her features. "Well hello there Heero, is there something I can do for you?" she chimed as she opened the door.

"Do you know what time it is? I'm trying to sleep you know and your incessant hammering is not helping me any," Heero informed his neighbor and to his dismay, she just smiled.

"It's twelve in the afternoon, I didn't think you would still be sleeping. Say, have you been crying? Your eyes are a little red and puffy. Are you ok?" her voice overcome with concern.

'Damn, I didn't realize it was so late,' Heero swore to himself. "Uh, sorry bout' that and I'm fine to answer your question," Heero blurted out, he forgot that he had been crying.

"No worries then," she responded. "Would you like to come in for some lunch? I was just about to make myself something."

The answer in Heero's mind was no, but that wasn't the word that came out of his mouth. "Uh, sure."

Heero mentally slapped himself in the head, this was only going to create more problems for him in the future. He followed the blonde haired girl inside her apartment, keeping his mouth shut since that is what got him in this awkward situation in the first place. "I apologize for all of the racket, the landlord said I could put things on the walls. I want this place to feel a bit more like home," she said as she walked in the kitchen. "Have a seat at the table. Would you like something to drink?" she asked reaching into the cabinet for a glass.

Heero nodded. Relena poured two glasses of lemonade and placed one in front of her guest. "I've still got quite a ways to go yet," she told him as she scanned her apartment before going back into the kitchen. "But I will have this place looking like home in no time," she continued as she opened the refrigerator door. Heero heard the shuffling of glass jars and plastic jugs and then her head popped back out with her hands full of sandwich ingredients. 'Why is she being so nice to me? She doesn't even know me,' Heero ogled her oddly.

Relena observed her guest as she fixed them lunch, glancing at him from the corner of her eye as he sipped his lemonade. 'He sure isn't much of a talker. I wonder what was the reason for his crying? Hmm, I guess I should try a different approach to this. Small talk isn't going to work on him,' Relena thought to herself as she finished making the sandwiches. "I saw you at the University yesterday. Are you planning to attend there this semester?" she inquired innocently before putting the plate of food in front of him. Relena needed something to break the ice.

"Yeah," his answer was short and to the point.

"Maybe we will have a class together somewhere down the road," she told him as she took the seat across from him.

Now, for the question that had been lingering in Relena's mind since last night. "Heero, who do I remind you of?" her tone of voice soft and caring. "You thought I was someone else didn't you?"

Heero looked up from his plate with a look of shock on his face. 'Damn, I didn't think she would remember that. Guess it couldn't hurt to tell her about it, she seems harmless enough. Maybe it will help me out in the long run. "My sister," he informed the girl sitting across from him.

"Really?" Relena was finally getting somewhere with him, he did have a pleasant sounding voice after all. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" she added.

"It's something I hold in the highest regards, so I guess you could say it's a good thing," Heero said, finally uttering more than two words.

"Well that's good to hear. How old is your sister?" Relena inquired further.

"She's dead," Heero told her bluntly.

The conversation took an unexpected turn for Relena. A frown appeared on her face and she responded in a sullen tone of voice, "I'm sorry to hear that Heero."

"Don't be. It was thirteen years ago," Heero answered before taking a drink. He really tried to avoid the subject of Jillian at all costs, but for some reason, he didn't try to avoid it with her. The way she spoke was so comforting to him, with her soft and pleasant tone of voice. The way she looked at him, the way her eyes held such a great abundance of concern within them and, for a complete stranger.

"It's hard to lose someone, I know, I lost both of my parents when I was a child. I couldn't comprehend it at the time, but I felt as if God was playing a cruel joke on me by taking them away from me. It was later that I realized that I wasn't the only out there whom this has happened to," Relena replied calmly as she took a drink of her lemonade.

Heero was left without words. Throughout his life, he has held the same feelings as she once did, that this was all some kind of cruel trick played on him by God. 'How could I have been so selfish?' Heero told himself. 'I've been living in a world of self-pity and I couldn't even see that I wasn't the only one to suffer similar fates.'

"Heero? Is something the matter?" Relena spoke up to the silent Heero.

Heero brought himself back into reality. "Sorry. I'm fine, just lost in thought."

"I'm the one who should be sorry. Here I am, prodding a complete stranger on details of his personal life when in actuality, he's too nice to tell me to shut up," Relena commented.

Heero smiled for what seemed like the first time in ages. Relena noticed the gesture and gave Heero an inquisitive stare. "What's so amusing?" she questioned her guest.

"You sure do act strange. If I didn't want you bugging me, I would have excused myself already," Heero answered with a slight smirk tugging at his lips.

Relena giggled. "I'm sorry, I get this way generally when I'm around someone I don't know. The end result tends to be that I scare them off and I don't see them again. Guess that could be the reason why I don't have many friends. The friends I do have, know what I am like and have grown an immunity to me," Relena joked. "Honestly, I didn't think you would make it this long."

"I've scene worse cases."

They both laughed at that comment. Heero was amazed at himself for this sudden change in behavior. How could one such person do this to him in just a matter of hours? It is as if he has been revived from his reclusive state. There was definitely something about her that intrigued him and kept drawing him in closer. Maybe it was the fact that he had realized the truth about things, or just the simple fact that he had someone to talk to.

"Heero, can I ask you something personal?" Relena asked, changing the subject.

"Hasn't stopped you before," Heero responded sarcastically.

"I'm a little hesitant in asking this for the simple reason that I might dissolve this friendship the second I ask, but here it goes," Relena stated calmly. "Why were you crying earlier?"

Heero was silent for a moment, wondering if he should tell her this. The only ones who really knew the true reason behind the crying was his parents. Heero cried for nights on end when he was a child as replays of the accident resided in his mind. After several years had past, he told his parents that everything was all right, that the nightmares had stopped. He was afraid of burdening his parents for so many years after their hearts had healed. He didn't want to tell Relena for fear that she might think of him as a silly fool who cried too much for his one good. 'But wait, she's been through the same ordeal as I have, maybe she will understand. Couldn't hurt to try I guess.'

"I couldn't sleep last night due to a great number of horrific nightmares. I kept waking up trembling and in cold sweats. I moved away from home in hopes of ridding myself of these horrible dreams, thinking that the reason for them was because I still lived at home. When I moved here, the dreams had stopped and I had some of the best sleep in years. Last night, for some strange reason, they came back. I woke up early after another nightmare and I managed to cry myself back to sleep on the couch," Heero explained.

"I know where you are coming from Heero. I was very young when my parents died so it had very little affect on me at the time. As I got older, I started having nightmares of their death and I would wake up crying most of the time. I disguised my discomfort and angst by acting quirky and perky to my friends and family. It was then that I met my dear friend Hilde, I was able to confide in her about my problems. Talking about things seemed to ease some of the emotional duress I had held inside for so long. I have been nightmare-free for years and Hilde is still one of the few people who can put up with me," Relena told Heero, giving him a reassuring smile, she knew where he was coming from.

Heero smiled inside, he had finally found someone who understood him. Relena had somehow managed to crack his shell and was slowly chipping away at it and it felt good. What he had thought would be an awful encounter turned out to be just what he needed. "Shoot!" Relena yelped, quickly putting her sandwich on her plate.

Heero looked up at her. "I'm going to be late for work! Oh geeze, Mr. Fitzgerald is going to be steamed if I walk in just a second late! Sorry to leave you like this Heero but I got to run!" Relena said before making a mad dash to the door. "Oh and Heero? Could you lock the door on your way out?" Relena asked him sweetly as she popped her head through the door. "See ya later!" were her last words as the door slammed and the sound of footsteps echoed down the corridor.

Heero just smirked. This was definitely going to be an interesting relationship.