AN: i know i've read the books quite some time ago... but since when apparat is some innocent bean? idk, it's an AU, i never liked him, plus i always imagined him like, let's say – Snoke from the Star Wars so don't expect any human beans. except those we already have :D (*just in case checks brain for any upcoming beans* nope, all were introduced)(...)
A week after her very public humiliation, when the winter festivity was long over, Zoya left with the Darkling's squad as the youngest Grisha graduate in years.
Alina guessed life couldn't be all sunshine and joy, but the memory of the recent victory has kept her warm at night all winter long.
With Ivan gone again, the Little Palace felt emptier, despite the crowds of teens that tried to follow Alina and make her their new Zoya. She only tolerated admiration of the younglings, innocent, fresh and... a little bit funny. Plus they were never part of the Squaller's little cult. Others though, them she scared off with a few perfectly plotted bursts of 'accidental' Inferni power when the honest words were not enough. She might be one of the worst in the whole history of Grisha education when it came to the control over her somewhat limited powers, but there weren't many things she couldn't turn into her advantage after years at the Little Palace.
Unfortunately, the present leaders of the Ethearalki Order didn't understand her reasons – Alina was declared potentially dangerous. Ah, yes. Another accomplishment. Ivan will be proud. She had to attend additional lessons and they even sent for Benyamin, of all Inferni available! Glad to be temporarily free from the stern supervision of the Examiner, the redhead let his trickster side take over. He trained Alina up well indeed – in the art of sneakiness, cunning and blank-face lies.
With Ben's help she also realized how to make her fires more focused, although not truly controlled all along. The agent of chaos that he was, Ben didn't mind at all. According to him, she should do with her powers ' what felt right and not what others claimed was right'. Still, there was always something holding Alina back from releasing the pure inferno that she dreamt about, either in sweetest dreams or worst nightmares. She might have wanted more and more and more again , but she also felt anxiety and most of all - the need to remain completely in control. Said control she lacked somewhat, but she still tried her very best, and Ben knew it.
Pleasant time with her mentor-in-trickery passed quickly, and before Alina noticed, her eighteen winter was closing in, and with it - the series of exams and time for graduation. Soon to become an official soldier of the Second Army, Alina couldn't wait to use her abilities on the front, especially now. There were rumors about other villages lost to Fjerdans, innocent Grisha burned at stakes and Ravkan otkazat'sya peasants enslaved. With those recent events David's projects had to turn into something more serious. They barely had any classes together these days, but Alina tried to lift up her friend's mood by any means when she could, all the while secretly glad that the Materialki were staying at the Little Palace two years longer than other Grisha Orders. Despite enjoying her moments spent alone in the library, studying the Shadow Fold and the Black Heretic, Alina knew she would hate ending up truly lonely in case of David leaving sooner than her. (So she absolutely had to graduate on time.)
Speaking of her greatest passion, Alina had to get used to the thought that - while David didn't mind, Genya and Fedyor found it funny - she found a sudden opposition to it in Ivan. Her brother was not happy with her recent interests. Not. At. All. They fought about it every time they met, but after two years she was getting better at lulling him into a false sense of security, maybe thanks to Fedyor's constant 'You'll see Vania, it's only a phase' . Ivan chose a great future brother-in-law for her, she had to admit.
Outside her inner circle, Alina was careful not to betray herself with her – very healthy, thank you very much! – fascination with the Black Heretic. As much as she didn't care what other students thought, she could not take any chances with her teachers. If they knew what she daydreamed about during some of their lectures, they would be alarmed. But the Shadow Fold meant so many possibilities... How come that they haven't used it before? Fear could make even the most cunning people stupid, she thought one day, while the rest of the class had yet another heated debate on the subject of amplifiers. Hopefully Alina will never have to experience it herself.
"But I'm perfectly suited to receive the Inferni embroidery!" she cried out, even to herself sounding like an angry child.
Unimpressed looks of the Council didn't give her much hope.
Alina has just finished smooth, long and almost flowery monologue on why exactly she could graduate with other Ethearalki this year, despite her powers not being quite as refined as the easiest advanced small science of Inferni required. She knew deep down that because of what she was, she was already on weak position: the Inferni were supposed to be the least complicated of the Ethearalki Order, and yet here Alina was – not good enough for them.
In the end, Alina's old insecurities made her lose control of both the temperature of the room and that previously perfectly crafted speech of hers.
'What would the Black Heretic do?' she wondered, panicked, as the elders whispered among themselves.
'He would be powerful enough to never be in anything other than a position of power...' part of her was resigned, but Alina could not give up, not now! Not when an important moment of her life, the final hours of her first education were coming! ' No, not always. Everybody has to start somewhere. ' Actually, in ten years no one will care if Alina's kefta was adorned with red or not, right? They will care about her greatness, something that hopefully will be well-known by then.
'Everything will turn out fine. Just wait.'
"We cannot let improperly trained Grisha leave the safe walls of the Little Palace! There is a war out there, foolish girl, in case you didn't notice. Our kefta's embroidery is a symbol that for many years-" Alina tried very hard not to roll her eyes when Baghra's voice dominated the chamber. She tuned her out for a moment.
Hate would be too much, but 'deep dislike' felt perfect to describe what Alina felt for the older woman. The adornments on kefta were symbol indeed – a symbol of stupid old crones making stupid outdated decisions… What was even Baghra wearing herself? ! Alina squinted. Those weren't even Ethearalki colours, those charcoal robes, somewhere between blue and grey.
Alina did keep her old combat kefta with a chaotic sort-of-embroidery - marks from both her own and Zoya's blood (not her fault it turned out impossible to clean because she waited too long!), so it's not like she didn't have any blue and red kefta, right?
She didn't need their embroidery, nor their approval...
Except that to truly graduate the Little Palace education, Alina actually needed the Council's approval. Volcra damn it!
Judging by Baghra's self-satisfied smirk, Alina's face was an open book now. She quickly schooled her features into the serene mask that she perfected with Ben's help, but perhaps it was a bit too late to win with the evil crone for now.
Baghra stood up, not much taller than when she was sitting - to Alina's childish glee – but her words made any joy but the woman's own leave the chamber completely.
"The final decision of the Council in your case, miss Starkov, is that you will train under an experienced tutor" - she glared at Ben, who snorted without any real humor - "for as long as you will need it, regardless of when your year mates are graduating."
The woman's cold smile reached her striking grey eyes and made Alina shiver involuntarily. The hag clearly wasn't done, but what was left to make it wors-
"I will train you myself."
The month after her sessions with Baghra began and with only one week left before the day they were supposed to graduate together, Alina avoided David like volcra avoided sunlight. At least, according to her books. She still hasn't told David the truth, both embarrassed and afraid. Alina worried that he would drop everything just to help her, and end up failing his exams, even the genius that he was. Especially the genius that he was.
She would not drag her friend down with her, she would shine bright on her own again instead.
That's what Alina thought and that's Genya heard from her – because of course the older girl knew almost everything about absolutely everyone – after a few friendly threats, and it was only the 'For the sake of David!' argument that got to her. The Tailor still shot her pointed looks whenever the three of them met, but at least didn't tattle on her. In turn, Alina didn't ask about the strange white kefta that Genya began to wear after her own graduation some time ago. As curious as she was, Alina felt that the talented Corporalnik girl, suddenly demoted to the role of Grand Palace servant, would appreciate her restraint.
David either avoided her himself or knew Alina long enough to be aware that sometimes she had to be left alone. He would find her easily in the library, when he truly needed her.
Once again finding solace between the pages – this time of the treaty on ancient Ethearalki combined efforts to fight off even more ancient creatures – Alina forgot about all her problems for another peaceful moment. Until she felt someone look up her shoulder.
She should have sensed the unwashed body from the door, or even heard that damn chains, wrapped around his waist instead of a belt like normal people wore.
She shut the book rapidly and turned to face the intruder.
"Can I help you, sir?"
There was something about the Apparat eyes that made her feel queasy. She'd rather run into the Darkling again (and he wasn't exactly a favorite of hers, not like those old, forgotten days when she - Alina could admit it now - had that silly crush on him, and when she barely knew what he looked like really) than have her territory (read: the library) invaded by the Apparat.
"The title you're forgetting about is 'Father'."
Like hell she was gonna call him that.
Alina scowled at the Apparat.
The so-called religious leader of the Ravkan Church, King's advisor and the only otkazat'sya who dared to live at the Little Palace, the Apparat looked pitifully with his long, unkempt beard, dull brown eyes and bald head shining through the last few strands of hair combed back. The fact that he wore smelly rags didn't make Alina any more fond of him.
"I haven't seen you in the Cathedral in a long time, my child..." he rasped, looking down at her and Alina quickly stood up, before smiling up at him angelically.
"I'm afraid you will sooner see me in a sacred marriage than attending your mass, sir. Good day to you."
Alina walked deeper into the labyrinth of bookshelves that she knew so well, while still close enough to hear what the Apparat wanted from her library.
"... and you have read everything we have about Sun Summoners ages ago, Father!" complained the Librarian in between coughing fits. "Ah... thank you... I guess I can't put you off from rereading them, can I? Come, they were moved a while ago to a further shelf..."
Alina knew exactly where they were heading, and was able to get there long before the Apparat. So, he's interested in the Sun Summoner? Maybe it made sense, with those boring preaches of his...
Well, he messed with Alina too many times to let him now roam around her safe haven!
She moved, fast and quiet like a ray of Sun (ha!) and quickly picked up the light but a bit of a shaky pile of thin old books, all written in a round, outdated font. Few seemed like completely handmade pamphlets. Alina hid in the second nearest nook, holding her breath when the Apparat and the librarian walked past her. She shook with silent laughter when they struggled to find the books, not even noticing her so close. After the Apparat scolded the librarian (how dared he?!) for 'the most important books in this nest of dangerous ideas' – he could be hilarious, that man – and finally left, hopefully having forgotten about Alina's earlier presence, the girl simply took 'the sacred texts' to the hole behind some loose floorboards. She discovered that perfect hiding place in her very first year at the Little Palace. It held some gross papers that she burned once she learnt to Summon fire at will, but Alina still had some fond memories of daydreaming about illegal books she would be able to put there, had she owned any. Now it will serve almost as glorious purpose...
Good luck finding your Sun Summoner porn, you old creep , Alina thought viciously, covering the hole with the final wooden board.
But no matter how fun all of that was, she now had to go back to Baghra's hut...
That wooden hut should have been burnt to the ground already! Any mutual dislike turned to hate a long time ago, two Grisha just kept on clashing. It didn't help that Alina was stubborn and Baghra's teaching methods were ancient at best and illegal at worst.
Their time together today was almost up... Almost.
After another mind-numbing insult - hopefully the last one today! - combined with two quick strikes, Alina actually felt like something was tingling inside her head. Her back turned to Baghra, she saw something bright at the end of her fingertips, something that definitely was not fire, no matter how comfortingly warm it was. She took a deep breath – whatever was going on, she would not show it to Baghra's cruel eyes – and in a blink of an eye it was gone. And after that awful month she knew exactly what to say to distract the hag.
"Now, at least I'm not a self-assured idiot like your precious little Zoya is-"
"Foolish girl! If you only had as much talent as Zoya has in one finger... Remember that: mocking people more talented than you is a sign of insecurity and serves nothing other than a few laughs, and then you're back to your pathetic, mediocre life!" the evil hag smashed her fingers with that volcra damned stick once more, for good measure, while Alina stood frozen, gaping at her. Were Baghra and the Darkling both members of some kind of Official Zoya Protection Squad and they had some ritual battle-cry established, or what?
Or maybe... Alina looked closer at the old woman's face and compared it to another, an image burned underneath her eyelids whether she wanted it or not, no matter how much time has passed since she saw him last.
Baghra scowled when she noticed Alina's usually angry glare turned more calculating , but whatever she was going to say was cut off by the girl's innocent question.
"Are you family with the Darkling?" The old Summoner opened her mouth again, but it was time for Alina to mock. "Yes, I see it clear in your eyes, such a very nice shade, lady Baghra. But why does nobody talk about it? Are you his grandmother, or maybe a sister? Daughter even? Who knows how those Grisha genetics work anyway..." Alina smiled serenely, the way those Sanktas did from the icons. The impossible ideas were forming in her mind.
"Mother! I'm his mother!" spatted Baghra, thick strands of shadow (Alina almost felt awed at the sight) curling around one wrinkled hand, the other clutching to the stick. Her cheeks slightly reddened and lips finally shut, she seemed like a different, both weaker and yet much dangerous person now.
"I guess it would be awful if someone learnt about this... You would be either seen as the General's weakness... or you would lose the respect of your students... Or both..." Alina let out an exaggerated sigh and batted her lashes at the furious woman, and didn't bother hiding her vicious smile.
It was a good day after all!
.
.
.
"I'll let the Order know you have earned your Inferni embroidery," Baghra said after a while, in a resigned voice. "You can leave now, girl." The hag shot her another of her glares and Alina's smile widened. Before she left, she couldn't help whispering theatrically, "Oh, and I would change the Tailor if I were you, moya mentorko. " She may have also set a small flame to the curtain, nothing dangerous, but with those final burns delivered, Alina was ready to graduate.
AN: of course, when Alina sweetly calls Baghra like that she means a (female) mentor ;) i kinda tried to find sth more Russian? but i decided to mostly roll with Polish, again :D
fun fact (or not?): only after a while since ch2 introduced Ben's name i realised you may think he's named after Ben Barnes or Ben Solo or both ;) and i guess it's another of my lucky coincidences, but i actually imagined, well, Alina's kind of a mentor as that freckled redheaded Inferni trickster... An obvious Loki! (the one from myths, not MCU, as much as i love Tom Hiddleston ^^) and my favorite Loki is the one from Joanne Harris "Runemarks", where he is also called Lucky and then I changed it to Ben – because Lucky didn't suit Ravka much (Ben means 'blessed' after Benedict but then i rolled with Benyamin because i like how it looks. oh well) and this is Ben's purpose in the story. to remind me of Runemarks!Loki, somehow.
~is there any foreshadowing hidden in Alina's line to the Apparat? hmmm ;)
if you hated recycling That Line, well... the brain came up with it when i reread chapter 4 right after posting it, the heart had nothing to do with it!
i am definitely not saying anything like 'but Darkles was forced to say it!1!', not at all! but i think it's nice casual mention of #Baghra's A+ Parenting. and i agree That Line was mean. and i realize my Darkles doesn't make sense sometimes, but i hope all of you will enjoy reading at least some things in this fic anyway. (and i promise that as much as it will seem like he's always doing fine in Alina's eyes... there is a reason why i haven't done any Darkles' POV. i would 99% mess it up, but he will be screaming on the inside at some point. i don't think it means Alina deserves an Unreliable Narrator tag tho, as much as i love that kind of stories (stop. babbling. eh..))
i know Alina kinda keeps on suffering (you can blame my love for Robin Hobb's tortured characters i guess?) in this arc - but she got some victories too, alright? next chapter should be short and nice and mostly stress-free... i think
don't hesitate to tell me what u think :)