(Okay, again thanks for all the great reviews. I'm glad this one is being so well received. Just to warn you, this is the Carsan chapter I mentioned. Don't worry! It's only the one chapter as I am a total anti-Carsan and, as this chapter attests, I'm not very good at writing it! Carby will follow, and that is a promise.)
Part 4
"Oh God!" Carter groaned, switching off the bleeping alarm clock.
Waking up in his own bed he realised that he was yet again stuck in the Sexual Harassment day. He had fallen asleep on the couch so unless Gamma had managed to carry him up the stairs, change him into his pyjamas, and tuck him into bed without him noticing, this was Saturday again.
He dragged himself out of bed and went into the bathroom to wash. He wasn't in the mood for yet another cold shower so he simply splashed cold water on his face to wake himself up and brushed his teeth before getting dressed and heading downstairs.
Carter walked into the kitchen and grunted a reply to his mother's greeting. She was talking to him as he moved around the kitchen making himself breakfast but he just switched off...he'd heard it all before, and his mother's conversation was hardly interesting the first time around!
He was busy thinking about his resolve of the night before: he had tried telling Abby that he loved her but she had just rejected him so that obviously wasn't what he was meant to do otherwise he wouldn't be here, still stuck in Saturday. "If the one thing I was supposed to do was admit my feelings to Abby," he reasoned to himself, "then today would be Sunday, I would still be curled up in bed, and Abby would be beside me! No, that obviously wasn't it. Susan was wrong, maybe...Susan! That's it!"
His mother was just about to head out of the house when the idea hit him; he lifted his head up and tried to call her back.
"Hang on a sec, Mom! do you think I can catch a lift with you and Alger before you head off?"
"Of course you can, darling." She stopped in the doorway and turned to smile at him. "Where do you want me to drop you?"
"Um, could you just drop me over at Susan's? There's something I want to talk to her about before the seminar starts."
"Ah, yes, that silly little seminar. Well, we'd better be getting a move on, don't want you to be late for all those sexual miscreants!"
Saying this she took Carter's arm in hers and they both walked out of the house to where Alger was waiting with the car.
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The car pulled away leaving Carter standing outside Susan's apartment building. He looked up at her window and took a deep breath as he tried to psyche himself up for what he was about to do. Finally he gathered his courage and walked up the steps to the main door, where he pressed the intercom and waited for her to reply. After a few minutes a voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Hi Susan, it's John, can I come up?" he asked, bendind down to speak into the intercom.
"Um...yeah, okay, sure. Come on up." The buzzer sounded and he opened the door, walking up the stairs to her first floor apartment. It felt like months since he had last been there, the morning they had discovered the stupid dominatrix' bag that caused them to go to the sexual harassment seminar in the first place, although thinking about it it had only been a week ago. Although to Susan it was only yesterday. He'd have to remember that!
He knocked on her door and waited for her to answer. Within seconds she had opened the door and was standing in front of him, dressed in a track suit and with her hair a little out of place...he'd obviously interrupted her getting ready! Hopefully she won't be too unhappy about that, he thought as he looked at the slightly pissed-off expression on her face.
"Hey Carter, what are you doing here?" She held open the door and gestured for him to enter, which he did. She closed the door and waited for him to answer. He turned to face her and started to speak.
"I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday. It was totally uncalled for and I should have known that I could trust you. I was jealous and I should have been big enough to admit it yesterday."
"Wow! And yeah, you should have!" she said, staring at him as he made his confession.
"So does this mean that you forgive me?" He looked at her with his puppy-dog gaze, knowing that there were few women who could say 'no' to him when he gave them that look.
"I guess I can this one time," she smiled coyly at him, then pointed an admonishing finger at him, "but just make sure it never happens again mister!" She started to inch closer to him, playing with her hair and twirling it around her finger as she approached.
*Alright,* he thought, *so we're playing that game are we? Okay then, I'll play along!*
"I'll do my best!" He smiled and pulled her towards him, slowly closing the distance between them until their lips met in a slightly messy kiss, but since Susan didn't seem to have a problem with it he just kept going. After a few seconds Carter broke the kiss and pulled her into an embrace.
"So," he said, idly pushing some stray strands of hair behind her ear, "do you want to get some breakfast before we go to the seminar?"
"Hmm, I'd rather stay here a little longer," she moaned, snuggling closer into his chest, "but I suppose we should be getting a move on. Maybe we could buy bagels for everybody; sort of an apple for the teacher type of thing!" She laughed at her attempt at a joke, as did Carter.
"Okay then, grab your coat and lets get going. I didn't have time for breakfast at home and I'm starving!" He took hold of her hand and together they walked out of her apartment to enjoy what would hopefully be a better day than the one before.
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Carter had spent the day draped over Susan, giggling like a couple of love-sick teenagers. It was all an act on his part, but he was determined to make a go of this. After all, he thought, she might be the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. And if she can get me out of this God-forsaken seminar then I'm perfectly willing to declare undying love for her!
Their constant touches and glances did not go un-noticed by the rest of the group, especially Abby. On a number of occasions she looked like she was ready to kill Susan, she even started a fight about Walt Whitman of all things! When they got into a huge bust-up about the virtues of being a nurse instead of a doctor it was again Abby's fault, picking a fight about the most innocent of comments. Carter watched her with satisfaction. Good, she was finally feeling a little of what he had felt for the last two years, watching somebody you like make a complete fool of themselves over the most inappropriate person! He settled down in his seat and watched the two women eye each other up hostily. He could get used to having two women fighting over him!
His satisfaction was short-lived, however. Luka, sensing that Abby was about to make a big scene, came to her rescue and put his arm around her to lead her away from Susan and back to her seat. Watching the way she leaned so easily against the Croatian's shoulder Carter felt a sudden surge of jealousy which only increased when the older man turned to him and suggested he go and see to Susan. Like he needed Luka to tell him how to treat a girlfriend, Mr "hit first-ask questions later"!
He went over to the closet in the corner of the room and started to pick the lock. He hadn't intended to do that today, he was going to be the bigger man, but at the moment all he wanted was to be facing Luka with a sword in his hand. Maybe that would wipe the sanctimonious look of his face!...if only he could get Gallant to shut up about breaking the rules for five seconds. Did that boy never loosen up? He hoped he hadn't been like that when he was in med-school.
"Got it!" Carter announced with satisfaction, finally getting the door open.
"Great, now we're felons," Gallant deadpanned.
"Oh, shut up Gallant!" Carter said rather harshly, causing the med-student to take a few steps back. Carter went inside the closet to pick up the fencing equipment that he knew was waiting inside, pretending to be surprised when he came out holding a couple of epees.
"Look what I found," he said, brandishing the swords. "I used to fence in college."
"I fence," Luka said, leaving Abby and getting up to join Carter. "I learned when I was acting."
"You fence too?" Carter replied a little too innocently. "I never knew that! How about we have a little bit of a knock-around?"
"Sure, why not?" Luka took the epee Carter was holding out to him and the two men began to clear a space where they could fight.
"Are you ready?" Luka asked, brandishing his epee a few times in the air.
"Bring it on gel-boy!" Carter settled into position and waited for Luka to make the first move.
Luka thrust forward but was quickly blocked by Carter. They continued to trade parries for a few minutes, gradually becoming more intense as time went on. Luka managed to break through Carter's defence and nicked him on the arm. Immediately he stopped and dropped his arms to the side, afraid that he had hurt Carter.
"Are you Okay? We should stop if you're hurt."
"No, I'm fine," Carter said as he bent down to pick his epee off the floor.
"Are you sure? It's no problem to..."
"I SAID I'M FINE!!"
"Alright, alright, let's start again. En Garde!"
They started to fight again with a renewed intensity...at least on Carter's part! Yet again he was being made to look a fool by the euro-doctor and it wasn't an experience he especially liked! Luka aimed low so Carter took advantage and hit him on the back. Luka responded by lashing out at Carter's epee, striking him in the face and drawing blood. Carter couldn't stand it anymore: five times now he had fought Luka and each time the man managed to make him lose his cool! He suddenly saw red and charged at Luka, tackling his body and bringing him to the ground. They continued to grapple until the others came to pull them apart. Susan pulled Carter to one side of the room whilst Abby checked out Luka on the other side.
"That man is a crazy bastard!" Carter said to Susan. "He could have killed me!"
"It looked like it was mutual," Susan replied unsympathetically.
"Am I going to need stitches?" Carter asked as Susan continued to probe the wound. All the while he was trading glares with Luka and watching Abby tenderly searching Luka's body for injuries.
"You barely even need a band-aid!" Susan laughed, then stopped when she saw where Carter's attention was focussed. "I can ask Abby to come over and check you out, if you prefer."
*Shit* he thought, giving himself a mental kick. He was supposed to be making a go of things with Susan, so why was he making a fool of himself with Abby yet again? He shook his head and turned his attention back to Susan.
"Don't be silly. I'd rather you did it." He smiled and took hold of her hand, pulling her slowly towards him for a kiss. It wasn't the best kiss he'd ever had, but if he closed his eyes and wished hard enough then he could imagine she was somebody else.
She pulled away from him and licked her lips, still tasting him. When she realised the others in the room were looking in their direction she blushed slightly, and Carter couldn't help but think she looked almost pretty when she blushed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad working on things with her!
At Susan's urging he went over to apologise to Luka and they came to a sort of uneven truce that managed to last the rest of the day. And as for Abby...Carter was the first to admit that he stole a few glances her way when he thought she wasn't looking! However, as he was soon to find out there were other people who DID notice the direction of his gaze...
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Another seminar down, another series of farewells outside the building, and again Carter found himself standing alone with Susan. He couldn't help but watch Abby walk away...he didn't want to, but it was like some unknown force drew him to her and he was powerless to stop it. His thoughts were interrupted by Susan, who had noticed where he was looking and was determined to say something.
"She's pretty great."
"Who?" Carter asked, although he knew she meant Abby.
"Abby," Susan explained. "I didn't think I'd really like her but I do..."
"Why wouldn't you like her?" Carter asked, genuinely interested why the two women wouldn't like each other when they had so much in common.
"Do I even need to answer that?" Susan laughed. She then looked down to the ground and stopped laughing before returning her eyes to his. Her tone softened as she continued. "I saw the way you looked at her today. You should tell her...that you're desperately in love with her and can't live a moment without her."
"Oh..." Carter said, not really thinking about what he was saying. He was just fascinated by the way everything seemed to come back to Abby. "We're still friends, right?"
"No, I hate you!" Susan joked. "Night Carter," she said, reaching up to kiss his cheek before turning to walk back to her apartment.
Carter watched her walk away and pulled himself out of his daydream. "What am I doing?" he said to himself. "I'm supposed to be making things work with Susan and I just let her walk away while I moon over Abby! What an idiot!"
"Susan, wait up!" he shouted, coming up alongside
"What's up Carter?"
"Um, I've been thinking. I don't want to be your friend."
"What do you mean?" She looked at him confused, waiting for him to clarify what he meant.
He gave a little laugh at the similarity of this speech to the one he gave Abby a few months ago, and if he remembered rightly (which he did because every word Abby had ever said to him was indelibly stamped on his brain) her reaction had been exactly the same. This time was going to be different, though. This time he was going to make himself say what he meant instead of walking away and letting the woman deal with everything alone.
"I mean that I don't want to break up with you, Susan. I'm not in love with Abby...really I'm not!" he said off her look. "She's just my best friend and I don't want her to make the same mistake with Luka she did before. He's a good guy, and a great doctor, but he's no good for her."
"Okay," she said slowly, taking in what he was saying, "she's your best friend...so where does that leave us?"
"I think what we have could be really great," he said, taking hold of her shoulders and looking down into her eyes. "I think our problem is that we've known each other so long that we're having trouble taking it to the next level. I mean, you see me as John Carter, medical student, instead of John Carter, Chief-Resident. I've grown up but you've still got this old image of me stuck in your head."
She had been watching him closely as he had spoken, and he could see that she was weighing up and evaluating what he was saying. When he had finished he saw her nodding, agreeing with what he was saying.
"You're right. I mean, I'm still a little afraid that I will be pulled up by Kerry for breaking hospital policy every time I hold your hand at work! But I shouldn't be. I'm an attending, you're a resident." She looked down at the ground and took a breath before continuing. "So maybe we should consider taking this to the next level."
He continued looking down at her until she raised her eyes from the ground to meet his. "Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think I am," she smiled nervously.
"Okay," he smiled back at her, gently placing a kiss on her lips and pulling her into a hug. "So, my place or yours?"
She laughed at his joke. "I think mine would be best, seeing as we're right outside!" Without realising it they had walked all the way to her apartment, talking all the time. "So, do you want to come up for a coffee or something?"
He just took hold of her hand and followed her silently into her apartment, where he took her into his arms and gave her a deep, lingering kiss. He felt her respond, and they slowly started to undress each other and make their way to her bedroom...
Lying there later, holding Susan's sleeping form in his arms, Carter thought back on what they had just done. It may not have been the best sex he had ever had, but he had certainly had worse. It was...he searched for a word...*nice*. That was the best word for it. It had been slow, tender, and they had both enjoyed themselves. (At least he hoped she had, and not that he wasn't modest but he knew he was good that night!) As he drifted off to sleep Carter thought that if this was the thing he was meant to do right, that he was meant to be with Susan, then there were worse things he could do than wake up to Susan Lewis every morning. With this thought in his head Carter placed a gentle kiss on the top of her sleeping head, and settled himself down to sleep, hoping that he wouldn't wake up in the morning to the sound of his alarm...
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*Beep Beep* *Beep Beep* *Beep Beep*
He woke up and looked around at the familiar surroundings of his room (the bed, the curtains, the bloody alarm clock) and he fell back against the pillows.
"Oh Crap!"
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(Another chapter down. I hope this one wasn't too rushed. As I said I don't like writing Carsan so I did gloss over Susan's scenes just a little bit! The next one will hopefully be a return to form, assuming I have a form to return to! Please let me know anywhere I can make improvements, any suggestions of what you think Carter should do next, I live for your feedback!)
Part 4
"Oh God!" Carter groaned, switching off the bleeping alarm clock.
Waking up in his own bed he realised that he was yet again stuck in the Sexual Harassment day. He had fallen asleep on the couch so unless Gamma had managed to carry him up the stairs, change him into his pyjamas, and tuck him into bed without him noticing, this was Saturday again.
He dragged himself out of bed and went into the bathroom to wash. He wasn't in the mood for yet another cold shower so he simply splashed cold water on his face to wake himself up and brushed his teeth before getting dressed and heading downstairs.
Carter walked into the kitchen and grunted a reply to his mother's greeting. She was talking to him as he moved around the kitchen making himself breakfast but he just switched off...he'd heard it all before, and his mother's conversation was hardly interesting the first time around!
He was busy thinking about his resolve of the night before: he had tried telling Abby that he loved her but she had just rejected him so that obviously wasn't what he was meant to do otherwise he wouldn't be here, still stuck in Saturday. "If the one thing I was supposed to do was admit my feelings to Abby," he reasoned to himself, "then today would be Sunday, I would still be curled up in bed, and Abby would be beside me! No, that obviously wasn't it. Susan was wrong, maybe...Susan! That's it!"
His mother was just about to head out of the house when the idea hit him; he lifted his head up and tried to call her back.
"Hang on a sec, Mom! do you think I can catch a lift with you and Alger before you head off?"
"Of course you can, darling." She stopped in the doorway and turned to smile at him. "Where do you want me to drop you?"
"Um, could you just drop me over at Susan's? There's something I want to talk to her about before the seminar starts."
"Ah, yes, that silly little seminar. Well, we'd better be getting a move on, don't want you to be late for all those sexual miscreants!"
Saying this she took Carter's arm in hers and they both walked out of the house to where Alger was waiting with the car.
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The car pulled away leaving Carter standing outside Susan's apartment building. He looked up at her window and took a deep breath as he tried to psyche himself up for what he was about to do. Finally he gathered his courage and walked up the steps to the main door, where he pressed the intercom and waited for her to reply. After a few minutes a voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Hi Susan, it's John, can I come up?" he asked, bendind down to speak into the intercom.
"Um...yeah, okay, sure. Come on up." The buzzer sounded and he opened the door, walking up the stairs to her first floor apartment. It felt like months since he had last been there, the morning they had discovered the stupid dominatrix' bag that caused them to go to the sexual harassment seminar in the first place, although thinking about it it had only been a week ago. Although to Susan it was only yesterday. He'd have to remember that!
He knocked on her door and waited for her to answer. Within seconds she had opened the door and was standing in front of him, dressed in a track suit and with her hair a little out of place...he'd obviously interrupted her getting ready! Hopefully she won't be too unhappy about that, he thought as he looked at the slightly pissed-off expression on her face.
"Hey Carter, what are you doing here?" She held open the door and gestured for him to enter, which he did. She closed the door and waited for him to answer. He turned to face her and started to speak.
"I just wanted to apologise for my behaviour yesterday. It was totally uncalled for and I should have known that I could trust you. I was jealous and I should have been big enough to admit it yesterday."
"Wow! And yeah, you should have!" she said, staring at him as he made his confession.
"So does this mean that you forgive me?" He looked at her with his puppy-dog gaze, knowing that there were few women who could say 'no' to him when he gave them that look.
"I guess I can this one time," she smiled coyly at him, then pointed an admonishing finger at him, "but just make sure it never happens again mister!" She started to inch closer to him, playing with her hair and twirling it around her finger as she approached.
*Alright,* he thought, *so we're playing that game are we? Okay then, I'll play along!*
"I'll do my best!" He smiled and pulled her towards him, slowly closing the distance between them until their lips met in a slightly messy kiss, but since Susan didn't seem to have a problem with it he just kept going. After a few seconds Carter broke the kiss and pulled her into an embrace.
"So," he said, idly pushing some stray strands of hair behind her ear, "do you want to get some breakfast before we go to the seminar?"
"Hmm, I'd rather stay here a little longer," she moaned, snuggling closer into his chest, "but I suppose we should be getting a move on. Maybe we could buy bagels for everybody; sort of an apple for the teacher type of thing!" She laughed at her attempt at a joke, as did Carter.
"Okay then, grab your coat and lets get going. I didn't have time for breakfast at home and I'm starving!" He took hold of her hand and together they walked out of her apartment to enjoy what would hopefully be a better day than the one before.
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Carter had spent the day draped over Susan, giggling like a couple of love-sick teenagers. It was all an act on his part, but he was determined to make a go of this. After all, he thought, she might be the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with. And if she can get me out of this God-forsaken seminar then I'm perfectly willing to declare undying love for her!
Their constant touches and glances did not go un-noticed by the rest of the group, especially Abby. On a number of occasions she looked like she was ready to kill Susan, she even started a fight about Walt Whitman of all things! When they got into a huge bust-up about the virtues of being a nurse instead of a doctor it was again Abby's fault, picking a fight about the most innocent of comments. Carter watched her with satisfaction. Good, she was finally feeling a little of what he had felt for the last two years, watching somebody you like make a complete fool of themselves over the most inappropriate person! He settled down in his seat and watched the two women eye each other up hostily. He could get used to having two women fighting over him!
His satisfaction was short-lived, however. Luka, sensing that Abby was about to make a big scene, came to her rescue and put his arm around her to lead her away from Susan and back to her seat. Watching the way she leaned so easily against the Croatian's shoulder Carter felt a sudden surge of jealousy which only increased when the older man turned to him and suggested he go and see to Susan. Like he needed Luka to tell him how to treat a girlfriend, Mr "hit first-ask questions later"!
He went over to the closet in the corner of the room and started to pick the lock. He hadn't intended to do that today, he was going to be the bigger man, but at the moment all he wanted was to be facing Luka with a sword in his hand. Maybe that would wipe the sanctimonious look of his face!...if only he could get Gallant to shut up about breaking the rules for five seconds. Did that boy never loosen up? He hoped he hadn't been like that when he was in med-school.
"Got it!" Carter announced with satisfaction, finally getting the door open.
"Great, now we're felons," Gallant deadpanned.
"Oh, shut up Gallant!" Carter said rather harshly, causing the med-student to take a few steps back. Carter went inside the closet to pick up the fencing equipment that he knew was waiting inside, pretending to be surprised when he came out holding a couple of epees.
"Look what I found," he said, brandishing the swords. "I used to fence in college."
"I fence," Luka said, leaving Abby and getting up to join Carter. "I learned when I was acting."
"You fence too?" Carter replied a little too innocently. "I never knew that! How about we have a little bit of a knock-around?"
"Sure, why not?" Luka took the epee Carter was holding out to him and the two men began to clear a space where they could fight.
"Are you ready?" Luka asked, brandishing his epee a few times in the air.
"Bring it on gel-boy!" Carter settled into position and waited for Luka to make the first move.
Luka thrust forward but was quickly blocked by Carter. They continued to trade parries for a few minutes, gradually becoming more intense as time went on. Luka managed to break through Carter's defence and nicked him on the arm. Immediately he stopped and dropped his arms to the side, afraid that he had hurt Carter.
"Are you Okay? We should stop if you're hurt."
"No, I'm fine," Carter said as he bent down to pick his epee off the floor.
"Are you sure? It's no problem to..."
"I SAID I'M FINE!!"
"Alright, alright, let's start again. En Garde!"
They started to fight again with a renewed intensity...at least on Carter's part! Yet again he was being made to look a fool by the euro-doctor and it wasn't an experience he especially liked! Luka aimed low so Carter took advantage and hit him on the back. Luka responded by lashing out at Carter's epee, striking him in the face and drawing blood. Carter couldn't stand it anymore: five times now he had fought Luka and each time the man managed to make him lose his cool! He suddenly saw red and charged at Luka, tackling his body and bringing him to the ground. They continued to grapple until the others came to pull them apart. Susan pulled Carter to one side of the room whilst Abby checked out Luka on the other side.
"That man is a crazy bastard!" Carter said to Susan. "He could have killed me!"
"It looked like it was mutual," Susan replied unsympathetically.
"Am I going to need stitches?" Carter asked as Susan continued to probe the wound. All the while he was trading glares with Luka and watching Abby tenderly searching Luka's body for injuries.
"You barely even need a band-aid!" Susan laughed, then stopped when she saw where Carter's attention was focussed. "I can ask Abby to come over and check you out, if you prefer."
*Shit* he thought, giving himself a mental kick. He was supposed to be making a go of things with Susan, so why was he making a fool of himself with Abby yet again? He shook his head and turned his attention back to Susan.
"Don't be silly. I'd rather you did it." He smiled and took hold of her hand, pulling her slowly towards him for a kiss. It wasn't the best kiss he'd ever had, but if he closed his eyes and wished hard enough then he could imagine she was somebody else.
She pulled away from him and licked her lips, still tasting him. When she realised the others in the room were looking in their direction she blushed slightly, and Carter couldn't help but think she looked almost pretty when she blushed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad working on things with her!
At Susan's urging he went over to apologise to Luka and they came to a sort of uneven truce that managed to last the rest of the day. And as for Abby...Carter was the first to admit that he stole a few glances her way when he thought she wasn't looking! However, as he was soon to find out there were other people who DID notice the direction of his gaze...
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Another seminar down, another series of farewells outside the building, and again Carter found himself standing alone with Susan. He couldn't help but watch Abby walk away...he didn't want to, but it was like some unknown force drew him to her and he was powerless to stop it. His thoughts were interrupted by Susan, who had noticed where he was looking and was determined to say something.
"She's pretty great."
"Who?" Carter asked, although he knew she meant Abby.
"Abby," Susan explained. "I didn't think I'd really like her but I do..."
"Why wouldn't you like her?" Carter asked, genuinely interested why the two women wouldn't like each other when they had so much in common.
"Do I even need to answer that?" Susan laughed. She then looked down to the ground and stopped laughing before returning her eyes to his. Her tone softened as she continued. "I saw the way you looked at her today. You should tell her...that you're desperately in love with her and can't live a moment without her."
"Oh..." Carter said, not really thinking about what he was saying. He was just fascinated by the way everything seemed to come back to Abby. "We're still friends, right?"
"No, I hate you!" Susan joked. "Night Carter," she said, reaching up to kiss his cheek before turning to walk back to her apartment.
Carter watched her walk away and pulled himself out of his daydream. "What am I doing?" he said to himself. "I'm supposed to be making things work with Susan and I just let her walk away while I moon over Abby! What an idiot!"
"Susan, wait up!" he shouted, coming up alongside
"What's up Carter?"
"Um, I've been thinking. I don't want to be your friend."
"What do you mean?" She looked at him confused, waiting for him to clarify what he meant.
He gave a little laugh at the similarity of this speech to the one he gave Abby a few months ago, and if he remembered rightly (which he did because every word Abby had ever said to him was indelibly stamped on his brain) her reaction had been exactly the same. This time was going to be different, though. This time he was going to make himself say what he meant instead of walking away and letting the woman deal with everything alone.
"I mean that I don't want to break up with you, Susan. I'm not in love with Abby...really I'm not!" he said off her look. "She's just my best friend and I don't want her to make the same mistake with Luka she did before. He's a good guy, and a great doctor, but he's no good for her."
"Okay," she said slowly, taking in what he was saying, "she's your best friend...so where does that leave us?"
"I think what we have could be really great," he said, taking hold of her shoulders and looking down into her eyes. "I think our problem is that we've known each other so long that we're having trouble taking it to the next level. I mean, you see me as John Carter, medical student, instead of John Carter, Chief-Resident. I've grown up but you've still got this old image of me stuck in your head."
She had been watching him closely as he had spoken, and he could see that she was weighing up and evaluating what he was saying. When he had finished he saw her nodding, agreeing with what he was saying.
"You're right. I mean, I'm still a little afraid that I will be pulled up by Kerry for breaking hospital policy every time I hold your hand at work! But I shouldn't be. I'm an attending, you're a resident." She looked down at the ground and took a breath before continuing. "So maybe we should consider taking this to the next level."
He continued looking down at her until she raised her eyes from the ground to meet his. "Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think I am," she smiled nervously.
"Okay," he smiled back at her, gently placing a kiss on her lips and pulling her into a hug. "So, my place or yours?"
She laughed at his joke. "I think mine would be best, seeing as we're right outside!" Without realising it they had walked all the way to her apartment, talking all the time. "So, do you want to come up for a coffee or something?"
He just took hold of her hand and followed her silently into her apartment, where he took her into his arms and gave her a deep, lingering kiss. He felt her respond, and they slowly started to undress each other and make their way to her bedroom...
Lying there later, holding Susan's sleeping form in his arms, Carter thought back on what they had just done. It may not have been the best sex he had ever had, but he had certainly had worse. It was...he searched for a word...*nice*. That was the best word for it. It had been slow, tender, and they had both enjoyed themselves. (At least he hoped she had, and not that he wasn't modest but he knew he was good that night!) As he drifted off to sleep Carter thought that if this was the thing he was meant to do right, that he was meant to be with Susan, then there were worse things he could do than wake up to Susan Lewis every morning. With this thought in his head Carter placed a gentle kiss on the top of her sleeping head, and settled himself down to sleep, hoping that he wouldn't wake up in the morning to the sound of his alarm...
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*Beep Beep* *Beep Beep* *Beep Beep*
He woke up and looked around at the familiar surroundings of his room (the bed, the curtains, the bloody alarm clock) and he fell back against the pillows.
"Oh Crap!"
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(Another chapter down. I hope this one wasn't too rushed. As I said I don't like writing Carsan so I did gloss over Susan's scenes just a little bit! The next one will hopefully be a return to form, assuming I have a form to return to! Please let me know anywhere I can make improvements, any suggestions of what you think Carter should do next, I live for your feedback!)