A/N: No I do NOT own them! (though I wish that Orlando Bloom was mine!!!
^_^) Oh! By the way! My e-mail has changed! It is now
star_light_elf_warrior@yahoo.com
Chapter 5
Jerry Springer walked on stage, and the crowd was roaring…no, literally, they were rabid squirrels. (There was a cage around the actual set to keep them (and the occasional regular person in the crowd) from rioting onto the set.
"Hello! And welcome to the Jerry Springer show, and today's topic is "Squeak Squeakity Squeaker Squeaky."
(Translation: I just want to kick your butt.)
"Please welcome…Aragorn…Legolas, Frodo, Sam (the Chihuahua?! What the *beep*?!)and apparently Gandalf couldn't make it today…(because he was placed in an insane asylum earlier today) Who say that they JUST WANT TO KICK SOME BUTT!" Jerry announced, "oh, and by the way, here are Randy, Mrs. Tiggywinkle, Phil the hamster, Will Ferrel, and Cool Spot."
Randy walked out wearing my sister's old blue two-piece bathing suit with his shirt rolled up in it (stuffing it), and sat down. He began whispering into Jerry's ear.
Jerry looked up to the camera and said, "Well…it appears that only Randy can make it today…due to some TECHNICAL difficulties!"
The rabid squirrels laughed evilly.
Then Frodo and the others walked on.
Randy immediately began being stupid and looked at Legolas.
"BRING IT ON ELF BOY!"
Legolas just snuck away into the shadows and ran out of the studio shouting, "I'M GOING TO A DAY SPA!"
Frodo looked at Sam the Chihuahua and gasped. He was trying madly to get to a rabid squirrel. The two were *in looooooooooove*.
Aragorn and Randy had gotten into a fist fight, and my sister (an audience member) couldn't make up her mind to which she thought was *in her words about Aragorn* 'a total hottie'.
Frodo sighed and went to go join Legolas.
Aragorn realized he was alone and kicked Randy one last time and ran off of the stage. He was chased by the 'dancewraiths' (inside joke) on mini scooters.
He looked for Legolas's jeep and since he didn't see it in the parking lot, just decided to do something which he had learned from a video game (Grand Theft Auto III)…so he stole a car. What he didn't know was that it was Tom Bombadil and Goldberry's car. JUDGE Bombadil.
The dancewraiths (though they wished they were still ringwraiths) continued on on their mini scooters, somehow keeping up.
All of a sudden, a huge wave of water broke through the street and washed away all of the wraiths.
Arwen the street janitor stood on the curb smiling. Aragorn pulled over and got out of the car.
The cops came, so he ran…and at the same time he was giving Arwen a piggy-back ride, so this of course slowed him down considerably.
***At the day spa***
Legolas sighed as the masseuse walked in…unfortunately (though he didn't know it) it was…a Mary Sue! So, of course, since he and Frodo were only wearing towels, this caused quite a problem. Another Mary Sue walked up to Frodo.
The Mary Sue behind Legolas looked at the one behind Frodo looked at eachother and nodded. In unison, they grabbed the towels slowly and ripped them off.
Legolas screamed and tried to reach for a new towel, while Frodo struggled away, while being whipped in the butt with his former towel.
Legolas's Mary Sue showed the elf the towel cart and pushed it down the hall. Legolas and Frodo went running after it as quick as they could.
The cart got pushed outside, and Legolas and Frodo ran after it.
Meanwhile, in the streets outside the Spa, there was a certain author jogging on the sidewalk. The cart zoomed past her, and of course, the two people followed.
She screamed and laughed at the same time, emitting a weird gurgly sound.
This caught the hobbit's attention, along with the elf's, so they turned around and stopped running, not realizing that the cart was still going…and going…
***With Aragorn***
"Listen officer, I was being chased by dancewraiths on mini scooters!" Strider pleaded.
Arwen had managed to sweet talk her way out of it, and was now continuing her job as a street janitor.
"Aye! And there are naked elves running in the streets!" the officer answered (the officer was also the singer for Flogging Molly).
"What a coincidence!" Aragorn said, as Legolas, Frodo, and of course Nikki (SummonerChica) ran past, "and it appears there are hobbits too, sir!"
The officer fainted, and a group of midget Mary Sues caught him and carried him away.
Aragorn happened to be wearing a cloak over his regular outfit so he ran and gave the cloak to Legolas.
"What do I doooooooooo?!" Frodo whined.
"I know how!" Legolas said, and picked Frodo up and tossed him into a garbage can, then placed the lid on.
"Let's go see a movie!" Legolas said, and they moved toward the Cinema.
They started watching Tomb Raider, but they thought it was too gay and went back to the hotel room.
When they arrived, Frodo pulled out a laptop and popped in You Don't Know Jack Volume 3.
Legolas looked over at the computer and sat down next to Frodo.
Aragorn went out to pick Arwen the street janitor up for a night out on the town.
A/N: Okay, maybe I won't end this so soon…^_^ I have SO many ideas for Aragorn and Arwen's night on the town, Sam the Chihuahua's many loves, Gandalf in the insane asylum, Sauron and the Dancewraiths, Saruman the inherently evil maid, and (of course) Legolas and Frodo's game of You Don't Know Jack. ^_~ This story began when I had just eaten a ton of SUGAR, and now I actually TRY…and I'm thinking of writing another story…errrrrrrrrr…not a comedy though…oh crap I think I better go to sleep.
-SummonerChica /^-(..)-^\ -PIGGY!!!!!!!!! ^_^ I LOVE THE PIGGY! I THOUGHT OF THE PIGGYYYYY!!!!!!!!
*Babble incoherently, something about 'my precioussssssssssssss piggggggggggyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy….'*
Chapter 5
Jerry Springer walked on stage, and the crowd was roaring…no, literally, they were rabid squirrels. (There was a cage around the actual set to keep them (and the occasional regular person in the crowd) from rioting onto the set.
"Hello! And welcome to the Jerry Springer show, and today's topic is "Squeak Squeakity Squeaker Squeaky."
(Translation: I just want to kick your butt.)
"Please welcome…Aragorn…Legolas, Frodo, Sam (the Chihuahua?! What the *beep*?!)and apparently Gandalf couldn't make it today…(because he was placed in an insane asylum earlier today) Who say that they JUST WANT TO KICK SOME BUTT!" Jerry announced, "oh, and by the way, here are Randy, Mrs. Tiggywinkle, Phil the hamster, Will Ferrel, and Cool Spot."
Randy walked out wearing my sister's old blue two-piece bathing suit with his shirt rolled up in it (stuffing it), and sat down. He began whispering into Jerry's ear.
Jerry looked up to the camera and said, "Well…it appears that only Randy can make it today…due to some TECHNICAL difficulties!"
The rabid squirrels laughed evilly.
Then Frodo and the others walked on.
Randy immediately began being stupid and looked at Legolas.
"BRING IT ON ELF BOY!"
Legolas just snuck away into the shadows and ran out of the studio shouting, "I'M GOING TO A DAY SPA!"
Frodo looked at Sam the Chihuahua and gasped. He was trying madly to get to a rabid squirrel. The two were *in looooooooooove*.
Aragorn and Randy had gotten into a fist fight, and my sister (an audience member) couldn't make up her mind to which she thought was *in her words about Aragorn* 'a total hottie'.
Frodo sighed and went to go join Legolas.
Aragorn realized he was alone and kicked Randy one last time and ran off of the stage. He was chased by the 'dancewraiths' (inside joke) on mini scooters.
He looked for Legolas's jeep and since he didn't see it in the parking lot, just decided to do something which he had learned from a video game (Grand Theft Auto III)…so he stole a car. What he didn't know was that it was Tom Bombadil and Goldberry's car. JUDGE Bombadil.
The dancewraiths (though they wished they were still ringwraiths) continued on on their mini scooters, somehow keeping up.
All of a sudden, a huge wave of water broke through the street and washed away all of the wraiths.
Arwen the street janitor stood on the curb smiling. Aragorn pulled over and got out of the car.
The cops came, so he ran…and at the same time he was giving Arwen a piggy-back ride, so this of course slowed him down considerably.
***At the day spa***
Legolas sighed as the masseuse walked in…unfortunately (though he didn't know it) it was…a Mary Sue! So, of course, since he and Frodo were only wearing towels, this caused quite a problem. Another Mary Sue walked up to Frodo.
The Mary Sue behind Legolas looked at the one behind Frodo looked at eachother and nodded. In unison, they grabbed the towels slowly and ripped them off.
Legolas screamed and tried to reach for a new towel, while Frodo struggled away, while being whipped in the butt with his former towel.
Legolas's Mary Sue showed the elf the towel cart and pushed it down the hall. Legolas and Frodo went running after it as quick as they could.
The cart got pushed outside, and Legolas and Frodo ran after it.
Meanwhile, in the streets outside the Spa, there was a certain author jogging on the sidewalk. The cart zoomed past her, and of course, the two people followed.
She screamed and laughed at the same time, emitting a weird gurgly sound.
This caught the hobbit's attention, along with the elf's, so they turned around and stopped running, not realizing that the cart was still going…and going…
***With Aragorn***
"Listen officer, I was being chased by dancewraiths on mini scooters!" Strider pleaded.
Arwen had managed to sweet talk her way out of it, and was now continuing her job as a street janitor.
"Aye! And there are naked elves running in the streets!" the officer answered (the officer was also the singer for Flogging Molly).
"What a coincidence!" Aragorn said, as Legolas, Frodo, and of course Nikki (SummonerChica) ran past, "and it appears there are hobbits too, sir!"
The officer fainted, and a group of midget Mary Sues caught him and carried him away.
Aragorn happened to be wearing a cloak over his regular outfit so he ran and gave the cloak to Legolas.
"What do I doooooooooo?!" Frodo whined.
"I know how!" Legolas said, and picked Frodo up and tossed him into a garbage can, then placed the lid on.
"Let's go see a movie!" Legolas said, and they moved toward the Cinema.
They started watching Tomb Raider, but they thought it was too gay and went back to the hotel room.
When they arrived, Frodo pulled out a laptop and popped in You Don't Know Jack Volume 3.
Legolas looked over at the computer and sat down next to Frodo.
Aragorn went out to pick Arwen the street janitor up for a night out on the town.
A/N: Okay, maybe I won't end this so soon…^_^ I have SO many ideas for Aragorn and Arwen's night on the town, Sam the Chihuahua's many loves, Gandalf in the insane asylum, Sauron and the Dancewraiths, Saruman the inherently evil maid, and (of course) Legolas and Frodo's game of You Don't Know Jack. ^_~ This story began when I had just eaten a ton of SUGAR, and now I actually TRY…and I'm thinking of writing another story…errrrrrrrrr…not a comedy though…oh crap I think I better go to sleep.
-SummonerChica /^-(..)-^\ -PIGGY!!!!!!!!! ^_^ I LOVE THE PIGGY! I THOUGHT OF THE PIGGYYYYY!!!!!!!!
*Babble incoherently, something about 'my precioussssssssssssss piggggggggggyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy….'*