Disclaimer: I am in not way affiliated with Blizzard or Warcraft III. Don't sue me, okay?
Chapter 1: Getting Things Started
Archimonde: Curse you, wench! Curse you, curse you! Why'd you bring me here?!?!
Deekz: I r evil. Ph33r!
Archimonde: I can…FINGER OF DEATH YOU, WEAKLING! *Finger of Death*
Deekz: *not dead*
Archimonde: …
Deekz: *takes the eraser and erases Archimonde*
Archimonde: what are you doing?!! *poof*
Deekz: *writes Archimonde back in* PH33R ME, F00!
Archimonde: $^%&^%&(^&$#%^&^&(%$^&$%*$^&*#^&^*(^%&@$^%^&*$^*!!!!! Why did you bring me here anyway, infidel?
Deekz: Because I want to do fun things with you.
Archimonde: … *twitches*
Deekz: I want you to finish what you were doing just a minute ago…
Archimonde: … *twitchfit*
Deekz: I loved how you used that finger…it got me "ooooh"ing…
Archimonde: *inches out of the room* O_O;
Deekz: I want you to finish the movie that you were doing in the credits!
Archimonde: *phew* As long as I get to blow up things, like those sheep!
Deekz: Yeah. Okay. Just don't blow up the actors, okay?
Archimonde: Okay. (heh heh heh…I can always find replacements…)
Deekz: Yeah, okay, whatever. Just do it.
Nike People: PLAGIARISM! COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! MUST SUE! MUST SUE! MUST SUE! THAT LINE—IT'S NOT YOURS!
Archimonde: (Nike? What is this…Nike?)
* * *
Steven Spielberg: I told you, I can't let you borrow my equipment, Mr. Big Demon Thing
Archimonde: That's Lord Archimonde to you! I 0wnz j00! Mwahahahah! *hack* *cough* Anyway, if you don't hand over your movie equipment now, or else I'll blow you up! If you do hand it over to me right now, though…I'll…uh…still blow you up! (Being nice is so hard…)
Steven Spielberg: NEEEVVVEEEE-- *explodes*
Archimonde: Pathetic human. *grabs the movie equipment and goes*
* * *
Archimonde: Take one!
Narrator: Years ago, the almighty Burning Legion that totally kick ass…
Assistant: (what was the script-writer thinking when he wrote this…)
Archimonde: (That script writer sucked. He told said that we sucked! Luckily I came in just in time and wrote my own script…)
Script Writer: *bound and gagged in the janitor's closet* Mmmph!
Narrator: The super duper cool Burning Legion came up with an ingenious plan that was the absolute best plan ever created. They corrupted the imbecile orcs to do their awesome bidding…
Assistant: (…what was that sound…?)
Archimonde: (Oh crap, he knows) CUT!
Narrator: Uhh…okay. (I was doing fine!! …Wasn't I?)
Archimonde: *runs into the janitor's closet and puts the writer to sleep* *runs back out* Ahem, yes…take two!
Assistant: (the HELL…)
Narrator: (Okay…) All your base are belong to us.
Archimonde: WTF?! Wrong script! *hands the Narrator another script* Take three!
Narrator: Love is in the air, everywhere I look around…
Archimonde: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! *looks through the scripts, finds the correct one, and shoves it into the Narrator's hands* Must…resist…urge…to…implode…must…resist…urge…of…exploding…body…parts…
Narrator: …o_o… Many years ago, the almighty Burning Legion that totally kick ass were really pissed at the night elves for defeating them. So then the superior Burning Legion wanted a gory and bloody revenge. The super duper cool Burning Legion came up with an ingenious plan that was the absolute best plan ever created. They corrupted the imbecile orcs to do their awesome bidding. The uber cool Medivh opened the gate between the weak world of Draenor and the even weaker world of Azeroth. Azeroth was a land full of really retarded people, whilst the Burning Legion were infinitely smarter than any being in the world. The corrupted orcs battled against the weakling humans as the glorious Burning Legion looked down upon them. Our story covers a war that was never written down in history because it was too good for it. And it begins now. *dun dun dun*
Janitor: Err…why is there a man here, sleeping?
Assistant: Hey, isn't that guy the scri—
Archimonde: *Finger of Deaths the assistant*
Narrator: O_O; Yeah, isn't that the real—
Archimonde: *Finger of Death*
Janitor: O__O; I think I'll be going now…
Archimonde: *Finger of Deaths the Janitor* Must release more pent of rage…must kill more… *Finger of Deaths the scriptwriter* Pent up rage…released…hey, at least I got the first part of the movie done.
* * *
The next day…
Archimonde: Take 1!
Rifleman Captain: Don't shoot 'em till you see the whites of their eyes!
Rifleman: But don't we have an infinite amount of bullets? I mean, the game didn't put a limit on how many bullets we could fire, ya know.
Rifleman Captain: Oh. Okay, just shoot the orcs, then.
Rifleman #2: *whispering to #3* Hey, didn't some guy in the Civil War use that quote…?
Rifleman #3: …Civil War?
Rifleman #2: Oh yeah, I'm not supposed to know that, am I? I come from a whole different world…I forgot…
Rifleman #3: O…kay…
Rifleman Captain: Move out!
Rifleman #2: …isn't he supposed to say something else? Like…[insert rifleman quote here because Deekz is too lazy to check it out herself]?
Rifleman #3: …SHUT UP!
Grom Hellscream: I WAS DEAD! But now I'm not! I'm cool like that! Yes I am! Cool I am! I am cool! Hear me roar! ROAR!
Rifleman: Dude, you suck.
Grom Hellscream: …well, um…
Archimonde: CUT! That wasn't part of the %$^&ing script, Rifleman! But you're right, Grom does suck at roaring. *sics Mannoroth on him*
Grom Hellscream: EEEE! I DIDN'T KILL YOU, MANNOROTH! IT WAS…UH…THE HOOKER I SCREWED THAT TURNED OUT TO BE YOUR LOVER!
Mannoroth: Really? DAMN WENCH! *runs off*
Archimonde: Damnit! There goes the bloodshed! *mumble grumble*
Grom Hellscream: (heh heh heh…he actually believed me…)
Archimonde: Take 2! And start from where you were actually doing fine, damnit! I'm too lazy to watch you guys do it over and over again.
Grom Hellscream: THIS IS MY ROAR! ROAR! IT WILL SCARE YOU ALL AWAY! Mwahahah!
Riflemen: *not scared*
Grom Hellscream; Damnit! Roar! Roar! Rawrrr…
Rifleman Captain: Hey, that was a pretty sexy roar.
Grom Hellscream: Really? Rawrrrr…
Rifleman Captain: I wish my wife would do that.
Grom Hellscream: (I can entice them with my new move…the Sexy Roar!) Rawrr! Rawrrr! Rawwwwwwrrrrrr! Raww—
Mannoroth: Damn you! You lied! *decapitates Grom*
Rifleman Captain: No! I want the SEXY ROAR!
Mannoroth: Shut up, infidel! *tramples the Rifleman's whole army…thus ending the first battle against the orcs…or WAS supposed to be against the orcs*
Archimonde: Cut! That was GREAT! I mean, the Burning Legion totally destroyed the humans! That's the way it should've been at the end of the game! Damnit, why didn't I, with my super fantastic, awe-inspiring, magnificent powers, win the game?! I mean, I blew up Dalaran, didn't I? Why couldn't I do that cool thing where I made a model of Dalaran with sand, and then destroyed the model, thus destroying Dalaran, to the damn Night Elves and Orcs? Why?! Damnit, why?!
Mannoroth: Here's your Prozac, Archimonde.
Archimonde: Oh, thank you, Mannoroth. *takes the whole thing*
Assistant: (Isn't Prozac for women…?)
A/N: I was watching the credits to Warcraft III, and the movie part with Archimode blowing up the guys was just that amusing to me. If you people like it, I'll keep on going. I'm planning on having a bunch of crossovers in this story, from games like Diablo II, Final Fantasy, and other games and possibly anime. Review if you liked it. ^^