Authors note: Stress this is for you. Don't take any of this stuff personally; I don't know you personally so none of this stuff is true. If it sounds offensive that's only because I'm trying to make it funny. It has nothing to do with you personally. That goes for everybody else I wrote about.

Welcome to another exciting episode of Yanchi's Dating game here is your host Yanchi.

Yanchi: Thank you, thank you. (Waves at the crowd) We have a really great show for you. Today's guest comes from Edison, New Jersey she works as a newsie… What, is this right (looks at the producers and directors, they shrug). Okay. And her pass times are gambling and pocketing. (Gives a funny look) Okay lets give it up for Stress.

Stress comes on stage

Stress: how yah doing (spit in her hands and extends it)

Yanchi: (disgusted look on her face)

Stress: what's the matter with you, aren't you going to shake my hand?

Yanchi: I'll pass, so Stress (giggles)

Stress: what's so funny

Yanchi: Your name I've never met somebody with the name stress

Stress: well know you have

Yanchi: okay, well it says here that you're a newsie, could you tell me what a newsie is exactly?

Stress: well a newsie is basically a paper boy or in my case papergirl

Crowd: oooooooooo

Yanchi: You make a living out of paper selling

Stress: I wouldn't call it a living, but it pays the rent

Yanchi: What rent, oh wait did I say that out loud

Stress: (gives a mean look) yeah you did

Yanchi: (looks embarrassed) well it also says here that you gamble and pocketing, okay we all know what gambling is but what is pocketing

Stress: I pick pockets

Yanchi: and this is a pass time for you

Stress: yeah, you don't think I can pay the rent just by selling papers did yeah

Yanchi: (suddenly notices a silver necklace around stresses neck) wow that's a pretty necklace

Stress: Thank you my mother gave it to me before she died

Crowd: awwwwwwwwww

Yanchi:oh I'm so sorry

Stress: you thought I stole it didn't you

Yanchi: okay well I guess that's enough, lets get this game started

Stress: scared to answer the question

Yanchi: (ignores the question) here are your cards (hands her a set of cards)

Stress heads to her seat

Stress: okay bachelors you heard how important my necklace means to me what if I lost it what would you do, Bachelor #1

Bachelor #1: well I'd help you look for your necklace; if we couldn't find it then I'd work real hard and buy you another one

Stress: how sweet

Bachelor #1: Thank you

Stress: Bachelor #2 same question

Bachelor #2: I'd soak the person who stole your necklace

Stress: I said what if I lost it

Bachelor #2: Well I'd soak a person anyway to get the stress out

Bachelor #3: Did you hear that he said Stress and her name is Stress

Crowd: laughs

Yanchi: (that voice sounds familiar)

Stress: (blushes) that isn't funny, Bachelor #3 same question (says it in a cold voice)

Bachelor #3: Hey Yanchi baby

Yanchi: Mush, I thought you where in jail

Mush: Naw, they just sent me to the refuge for a couple of weeks that's all. Did you miss me?

Yanchi: No

Stress: ummmm, hello you're supposed to be likening me not the host

Mush: don't tell me who I'm supposed to like, so Yanchi you and me after the show

Yanchi: I don't think so, security get him off the stage

Stress: can we please get back to me?

Yanchi: sure

Security comes and drags Mush away

Mush: call me

Stress: I only have two to pick from

Yanchi: is that a problem

Stress: I guess not

Yanchi: since you lost one I'll put a nice cruise package for you and whoever you pick

Director: we will

Yanchi: (ignores the question) Lets continue

Bachelor #2: could we instead go to Santa Fe

Stress: I haven't even picked you and if I do no we are not going to Santa Fe

Bachelor #2: I was just asking don't get all stressed out

Mush: (runs back on stage) did you hear that he said stressed out and her name it Stress

Crowd: laughs

Stress: That's not funny,

Yanchi: security

Security runs onstage and drags him away

Stress: okay, tell me why I should pick you Bachelor #1

Bachelor #1: well I'm a sweet guy, I'll always listen to what you have to say, I'll try to shower you with gifts, and well if you pick me I'll be the luckiest guy alive.

Stress: how sweet, Bachelor #2

Bachelor #2: I don't think you should pick bachelor #1, he's a lowsy person a control freak

Stress: I asked why I should pick you moron……… you know what I've already made my decision

Yanchi: well

Stress: Bachelor #1

Yanchi: come on over Bachelor #1

Bachelor #1 comes and is none other than David

Stress: hiya Davey

David: Stress

Yanchi: what you know each other

Stress: yup, we work together

Yanchi: Is that so

David: yeah, Stress I wanted to tell you how much I love you, ever since the day I first saw you I fell in love

Stress: really

David: yeah

Yanchi: well I guess you two are off to the Bahamas

Bachelor #2 comes out and it's Jack

Jack: Stress

Stress: (looks over at Jack) Jack

Yanchi: You all know each other

Stress: Jack use to be my boyfriend until he met Sarah, what does Sarah have that I don't

Jack: good looks

Stress: (slaps Jack)

David: don't be talking about my girl Jack

Jack: well it's true

Stress: (slaps him again) David is a gentlemen you never did anything for me

Jack: you never did anything for me, all I asked was a kiss and what did you give me a black eye, Sarah never does that to me

Stress: then why are you on this show?

Jack: ummmm (ignores the question)

Stress: well

Jack: well I better be going

Yanchi: People this is a dating show not jerry Springer

Stress, Jack, David: oh sorry about that

Yanchi: well that's the end of Yanchi's Dating game

Director: I never agreed on a cruise package, this is coming out of your salary

Yanchi: oh shut up you cheap scape