"See the Strings?"

[ Side 2 : St. Peter ]

Autumn started to settle in Peter's mind as he crunched over the toasted leaves that were scattered like an old blanket over the still forest. The relaxing atmosphere was doing nothing to ease his mind. Minutes ago he had just received a most intriguing essay from an IF address that had called his attention to a subject he didn't like to think about. How could he have ignored this subject for so long? Besides settling his image over in the East, this was the biggest thing in the back of his mind. It would be the most perfect and most brilliant thing he had ever come up with. All his other schemes lead to it or were a result of it, and his whole future rested on the success on that one plan. It made him nervous and uneasy to sometimes think what would happen if it failed.

He felt Valentine's worrisome presence somewhere to the west, and turned, walking in that direction to their little forest clearing. He couldn't show himself unnerved, and so, to dismiss such childish worries, he brought out a childish laugh.

"You're gonna love this, Val."

"You received something funny?"

"Actually, I received six funny things today. [ somewhere in space, Bean sneezes...] Well, a very funny essay in six parts by some random IF members who want--"

"--Want the students at the Battle and Tactical schools to be sent home?"

"Of course you would have also gotten a copy. So, come on, what do you think of it?"

"Peter, you know how I feel about that."

Annoyed at her attempt to dodge the question, he rephrased it more seriously. "Alright, then what does Demosthenes think?"

Valentine looked at him oddly then turned away too quickly. He probably should have rephrased better than that. Peter was aware of how much she hated playing the role of the "bad guy", but he reminded himself that this was the way it had to be. She could hate being Demosthenes as much as she wanted, but they both knew that she could not handle Locke. Valentine didn't have what it took to be Locke on the Nets and someday off the Nets. He accepted it, and it was about time Valentine did too.

Almost as if she had read his mind, Valentine answered. "Demosthenes agrees completely, and thinks that the children should all be sent to their own families and nations before the Russians "employ" them, or worse."

"Good." He nodded and pulled out his desk to get started. "Oddly enough, Locke agrees with Demosthenes and wants to start and support a rally to get our brother home as quickly as possible." Peter almost froze at the slip of 'our brother'. When he rehearsed this subject privately, he had always referred to the Battle School students as 'our children'. Realizing that Valentine was staring at him while he thought, he blinked to cover up the slip. "What are you doing? I said Locke agrees with Demosthenes. That means you have to get started first." Peter could almost hear the wheels in her head turn his actions over. He couldn't let any concern about that subject slip. Especially not to Valentine.

"You were thinking about Ender."

"Huh?"

"You weren't laughing like that because of a new game move for Locke and Demosthenes, you were thinking about Ender."

"Oh right, Andrew. Sorry Val, I've kind of forgotten about Ender after all this time. The IF world is so distant from ours sometimes, that it's easy to forget they rid me of him." That was a careless mistake. Now Valentine would be even more on guard. How could he have let that slip out? He hadn't even meant it! And surely, Valentine would be able to see right through it.

"You haven't forgotten about him." She defiantly put her desk down beside her and shut it off. "I know you still remember Ender, and have feelings for him. And I know you have plans for him.

"You know but you never ask." He was careful now of his words, reminded by her alertness to be on alert himself. This was a confrontation, not a speech.

"I'm asking now." Valentine continued. " What are your plans for Ender?"

"I see that you are obviously not going to work for me unless I pay you."

"I am not working for you, and telling me how you feel about something isn't payment. I am your sister, wanting to know what you think of our little brother."

Peter turned that thought in his head. 'No, you're really a saint, Valentine.' He thought. 'A saint for caring about Ender so much. Well so am I. I care about him too. I'm a saint too. We're both saints, but you're the only one who can carry the title.'

"You're a saint," he admitted. " Wanting to know the Devil's plans."

"You're not the devil, and I'm not a saint!"

Annoyed that she had refused such an honored role, irritation unintentionally showed up in his words "Then what were your plans for Ender?"

Valentine stood up, walked over to her puzzled brother, and slapped him across his face as hard as she could. Peter didn't think it was such a saintly gesture, and almost took back his musings.

"How dare you think that I would want to use Ender!" She calmed herself down somewhat and backed away slowly, obviously disgusted, but at what Peter couldn't tell. "How could I ever let my guard down around you." She was really getting worked up over this. Valentine was letting all her feeling explode like he always knew they would someday. "You are a monster, and you'll do whatever you can to whoever you have to, to be in power won't you?" That killed him inside. Of course he would if he had to. "I'm not like you Peter. I said I'd help you because I wanted to help you, not your megalomaniacal fantasies. But there was never anything to help was there? All that time you were crying about being scared to turn into a monster, and you were lying...! You were already proud to be one!" Peter kept his eyes averted and remained silent, not knowing how to comment on that in any way. "Even now, standing there, so calm and unaffected; you're proud to be a monster!"

Peter let her words wound him. They split him so wide, a thousand conflicting responses and a million emotions fought to escape from him. It took a while to quiet them down, sort them out, and choose which ones to use as his own weapon. "That's the problem with girls, especially you, dear little sister." Not fully recovered from the blow, Peter blindly continued with the next words. "Girls are all too emotional, and you jump too quickly to conclusions when it concerns the brother you love," considering his words, he forced himself to give in to the obvious situation. "Against the brother you hate." He regretfully wondered If Valentine would analyze him more now that his words shook with the truth. "If you want to know, I've been wondering where Ender has been all this time. I didn't know if he was still in battle school, or if he was promoted early or held back; or who knows what, lying dead where ever the IF hides their failures. I've been trying to hunt him down, but the IF security is the toughest I've come across, and I need time to develop relations with insiders before I can get any info. I've been watching the head lines for Kids who returned home early or for alumni I can contact, but there never are any. I've been helpless, so of course I've never expressed it to you." He hated letting her know he cared so much about Ender, letting her know that Ender was also his weak spot, but in so much more complicated ways than he was to Valentine. "Locke has never touched on the subject of the Battle School because he was too afraid to come across any....unwanted evidence or news..." Peter let his voice drop off to divert attention to the end of his argument, and away from the heart of it.

You a re accusing me of accusing you of wanting to use Ender, "But I didn't accuse you of anything! I just wanted to know if you had any info that I didn't! You were always closer to Ender than I was, so I thought you might have had news or contact with him. You know me, Valentine. You know how hard it is to admit you have an advantage over me..." He could tell that Valentine was no longer hearing her. 'Well, so be it,' he thought. 'That's all she wants to hear from me, and Its better that she not hear the rest.' Peter continued on,"...So I tried to get the info in another way. It was vice because I'm vice, and you know that about me and I'm sneaky and I'm concealing and I'm...." Peter frantically searched for the right word that would convey explain to her how horrible he was and how he hated having to be so. 'I'm tired, I'm wrong, I'm slipping, I'm evil...' And finally, "I'm sorry, Valentine."

"Don't ever apologize to me, Peter."

"I'm so sorry..." 'Sorry that it has to be this way. Sorry that you hate me, and can't see why I can't say I love you.'

"Stop that."

He quieted down, apologizing to the her silently.

"Demosthenes has an essay to write. About bringing her genius little brother named Ender in Command School home to her and Locke--"

"No!" He reached out and grabbed her wrist as she turned to retreat, and she spun around to face his stronger face. "Has talking about Ender made you stupid?!"

"Let go of me! How can you still say that?!"

"You CAN'T talk about any genius kid! Don't you see what I've been trying to do? I've been trying to protect Ender! I'm trying to protect these kids remember?! All this time I've been looking for him because I know what's going to happen to him! I may be a monster to you, but I know what my intents are, and they include having Ender safe at home after the war."

"You mean safe in your clutches. That would be the perfect way to unmask Locke wouldn't it? 'Young intelligent and compassionate leader embraces ruling the world and his hero little brother who saved it from destruction' isn't it? Not only that, Having blood relation to, and control over the most brilliant military mind in the world in times of war, will grant you any victory from intimidation alone! "

"Is that all you'll ever see me as? As the manipulator?"

"I see the strings. They're from your hands, not on."

"And I guess Ender would be the perfect puppet, huh?"

"Of course.. He's only been a puppet all his life."

"What do you want me to do Valentine? Let the Russians take him away from us?"

"No.. No, of course not."

"But you'll always see me as the puppeteer."

"And even still, I'm as helpless to do anything as the wooden stage you make him dance on." Valentine slipped out of his hand.

"I don't control a whole stage, Val. You know you can expose Locke and Demosthenes whenever you want."

"No, no I can't. I know you're right about everything, and exposing us would only cause more trouble. Mentioning Ender would definitely make him a target...." She sank down against her own tree to turn her desk on again. "And no matter how much I don't want it to happen, the best thing for Ender is to be in your control..."

"That's the way it is Val, you--, we have to accept it." He caught one last mixed glance from her and wished he hadn't. They couldn't even try sympathizing with each other now. There was no way she could really understand how much he suffered with his responsibility.

"I've accepted it. A long time ago. And I'm sick of accepting it, but I want these kids home."

"So do I, and It will show up in Locke."

"Then Demosthenes will have the pleasure of going first."

'Yes', thought Peter. 'Demosthenes has preference over this matter, because he is more open and more passionate. He is more free, because if he makes mistakes, it will just add to Locke's image and responsibility.' He logged on his own desk. 'Be who you are Valentine; the person I can never be. Demosthenes can say the words Locke can never say, and be free of the responsibility that Locke must take.' Peter faced his reality. 'You are the lucky one, Valentine, because Demosthenes can quit at any time, and Locke will be left, rushed alone, to his position of power. Betrayed and hated by the one he relied on the most.' He typed a message to himself on the quiet screen.

/If the stage disappears, then It will only be me left to keep Ender.from falling./