I Ain't Missing You At All…..
~ Chapter 3
The light wakes me up. But I don't open my eyes yet. I want to remember the dream last night. The touch of his lips on mine….and then I suddenly remember. His perfume….I felt it somewhere else. But it's not Brad's , I know that for sure.
Oh, get a grip of yourself ! It was just a dream ! Wake up Angelina !
But still….no! No way!
The door opens. I turn and see Brad looking at me. He didn't even knocked.
"God you all are a mess! When did you got back home last night?"
I roll my eyes and rise to pull my jeans on me.
"Well , good morning to you too Brad…."
"Good day maybe." He says and points to the clock on the wall.
2:56
What?! Almost 3 in the afternoon?
He sees my surprised expression.
"Yes……remember you had school today ! "
"Gimme a break Brad! You are not my father ! I had one already ! He was enough!"
His face changes his expression for a few seconds. And his cold expression comes back.
"Fine."
And he leaves. Just letting me stay there .I scream to him:
"I only wanted some understanding from you …"
He doesn't stop. Just keeps on walking towards the exit door. And he goes outside.
"……why can't I get some…?" I say to myself.
* *
Everybody had some appetite today. Schuldig ate like crazy a whole pizza. He finished it in 10 minutes !
Me and Nagi were looking at him . It must be because of all the drinking last night . He hasn't ate since 9 o'clock yesterday.
// I heard that// I hear his voice in my head.
// I bet you did.// I said drinking from my cup of cocoa. I really love cocoa.
//It's true I had much to drink last night. But, still, I wasn't drunk//
//I know. You never get drunk. Brad would go crazy on you.///
//Thinking of Brad..where is he?//
//Well….// I was thinking what to say. I didn't want Schuldig to know he's mad at us.
//I already know dear.///
//Fuck it!//
///Hehehhe….maybe I'll teach you to close your mind some day.///
//Why not today?//
// Not yet. Not yet….//
Schuldig rises from the table and goes to the bathroom.
Then comes the idea to me. I rise and go to his room. I see his perfume bottle and I smell it. No, is not his.
But I know it wasn't a dream last night . Brad didn't noticed because he was too mad but I did. The door lock was dirty and I also noticed some dirty footsteps inside the room.
"What are you doing here?"
"Schu- "
Nagi entered in the room.
"Guys , Brad is here."
I try while Nagi speaks to think of something else , so Schuldig wouldn't do a research in my mind again.
Brad. Yes I think about Brad.
"I was looking for a magazine. I taught you took it. I'm coming Nagi."
And I pass towards the room and go and get a seat next to Fafarello on the sofa.
Brad looks at us all. Schuldig takes a seat next to Nagi. Brad is the only one standing up.
"Glad too see everybody is up. Finally…."
Everybody mumbles , Nagi barely keeps his eyes open and Schuldig yawns . Farfarello started cutting a pillow with his knife . And me…I look at theme trying not to laugh. They're doing this just to make Brad angry.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…stop it right now ! I have a mission report."
"We're listening" Says Schuldig .
" Takatori gave me this one this morning. It's quite an interesting mission . I think you know the Research Institute Katori don't you?"
"Do you know it?"
"No, I don't."
"Isn't the one…"
"Wait…I think I do.."
"Next to the factory.."
"No..I think…"
"I don't think so.."
"That one is old.."
"Yeah..but.."
"SHUT UP ! "
We all shut up. Brad takes a deep breath trying not to really scream at us.
"Fine , you don't know it. You'll see it ! Okay , that institute has something that Takatori wants. We have to get it. High security , video cameras, movement lasers , alarms. Do you think you can handle it ?"
"Yeah.."
"Sure…"
"Why not?"
" Stealing hurts God."
"Yeah…whatever…" We all mumble while we rise and get the files with the mission summary.
"I hope you will be awake this night." Brad says and goes into his room.
I follow him.
"Brad…I wanted to say something to you…ask you…"
"Fast please."
"Well… tell me the truth… do you love me?"
He stares at me. His eyes are cold.
"Of course I do."
"Why don't you show it then…?"
"Look what, I have a lot of work, a mission to complete and you're talking about love?"
"Work…fine Brad."
And I step out.
* *
Two hours until we go to the Institute. The night falls. I stay on the balcony and watch the city . So many lights , so many lives out there. So many lies out there, so much pain out there.
I really want to tell someone about me. About all the things I lied . I wish I could tell Brad. But….he will ..I don't think he would kill me , maybe just chase me and make my life miserable. I lied about a lot of things to this….what is his name..? Tak…..whatever..
I'm not what I seem. Not at all.
The city lights….Oh…my only friends. The lights of the city. Electrical lights . Neon lights.
" Brad…"
I turn around.
"Wha- ? "
I see Nagi in the pale neon lights.
"It's because of him isn't it ?"
"What?"
"Because of him you are sad aren't you?"
"Um…"
" You don't have to answer. I know it. "
"Mr. Knows-it-all ." I say smiling. He doesn't respond with a smile.
Please Nagi, smile. I don't want you miserable because of me.
"excuse me" I say
I have to have a talk with Brad, I really do.
I knock before I enter.
"Come in "
I see him at his desk.He rolls his eyes when he sees me.
"What is it?"
"Please Brad I have to get something straight with you ."
"WHAT?"
"Tell me do you CARE?"
I rise my voice in front of him.
"What is it that you don't understand? I have work to do now !"
"You always have ! When you'll get some time for me? You don't care for anyone !"
"Stop it Anderson !"
"You don't even call me Angelina ! Can you pronounce that ? AN-GE-LI-NA !!"
I felt his heavy hand hitting my face. It hit me so hard that I fell on he rug.
I look at him surprised.
"Get out ! "He says.
I hold back my tears and run off the room. Nagi stares at me.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going for a walk." I say and go without saying another word.
I run on the stairs and on the street. The people look at me but I don't care. I keep on running.
Damn you Brad ! I only wanted you to care ! To feel something ! Why are you so ice-cold ?
If I don't appear 'till they go on the mission he'll be very pissed off…so what? We been lovers for a while but he never showed me understanding , not even for a few seconds. Because I didn't fucked with him or what ? Fuck yourself Brad !
I stop to catch my breath. I realize I am crying. Stupid Angelina. All you know is crying . Idiot ! You're useless !
The rain starts. It's cursed. Every time I cry the sky cries with me .
The lights start to fade.. the lights are going down on me …
It wets my hair and my clothes. I don't care.
I always had the woman's power. I wonder if I still do. Nope. Just a teenager's power. That is not good enough isn't it?
The rain is getting colder and it starts raining with big raindrops.
I fall and hit something. Something very hard. It hurts but I still rise and run.
My shirt is ripped off in that place, is it my hand? And it bleeds. I don't care.
In my run , I don't see anything. It's mist .
In my face appears a light. A small shop.
I'm cold…
I'm freezing….
I don't care if those guys from Weiss appear right now in front of me and kill me.
In my run I bump into someone and in the rush I fall on the wet street. I try to figure out who's standing in front of me.
I look up in terror. In front of me stays the read head from Weiss.
It's like a dream.. I don't see clearly anymore.
I dream he's rising his katana and tries to kill me.
I dream of blood .
I dream of a tall man taking me in his arms.
I dream blackness….
* *
Shall I continue or erase the chapter?
~ Chapter 3
The light wakes me up. But I don't open my eyes yet. I want to remember the dream last night. The touch of his lips on mine….and then I suddenly remember. His perfume….I felt it somewhere else. But it's not Brad's , I know that for sure.
Oh, get a grip of yourself ! It was just a dream ! Wake up Angelina !
But still….no! No way!
The door opens. I turn and see Brad looking at me. He didn't even knocked.
"God you all are a mess! When did you got back home last night?"
I roll my eyes and rise to pull my jeans on me.
"Well , good morning to you too Brad…."
"Good day maybe." He says and points to the clock on the wall.
2:56
What?! Almost 3 in the afternoon?
He sees my surprised expression.
"Yes……remember you had school today ! "
"Gimme a break Brad! You are not my father ! I had one already ! He was enough!"
His face changes his expression for a few seconds. And his cold expression comes back.
"Fine."
And he leaves. Just letting me stay there .I scream to him:
"I only wanted some understanding from you …"
He doesn't stop. Just keeps on walking towards the exit door. And he goes outside.
"……why can't I get some…?" I say to myself.
* *
Everybody had some appetite today. Schuldig ate like crazy a whole pizza. He finished it in 10 minutes !
Me and Nagi were looking at him . It must be because of all the drinking last night . He hasn't ate since 9 o'clock yesterday.
// I heard that// I hear his voice in my head.
// I bet you did.// I said drinking from my cup of cocoa. I really love cocoa.
//It's true I had much to drink last night. But, still, I wasn't drunk//
//I know. You never get drunk. Brad would go crazy on you.///
//Thinking of Brad..where is he?//
//Well….// I was thinking what to say. I didn't want Schuldig to know he's mad at us.
//I already know dear.///
//Fuck it!//
///Hehehhe….maybe I'll teach you to close your mind some day.///
//Why not today?//
// Not yet. Not yet….//
Schuldig rises from the table and goes to the bathroom.
Then comes the idea to me. I rise and go to his room. I see his perfume bottle and I smell it. No, is not his.
But I know it wasn't a dream last night . Brad didn't noticed because he was too mad but I did. The door lock was dirty and I also noticed some dirty footsteps inside the room.
"What are you doing here?"
"Schu- "
Nagi entered in the room.
"Guys , Brad is here."
I try while Nagi speaks to think of something else , so Schuldig wouldn't do a research in my mind again.
Brad. Yes I think about Brad.
"I was looking for a magazine. I taught you took it. I'm coming Nagi."
And I pass towards the room and go and get a seat next to Fafarello on the sofa.
Brad looks at us all. Schuldig takes a seat next to Nagi. Brad is the only one standing up.
"Glad too see everybody is up. Finally…."
Everybody mumbles , Nagi barely keeps his eyes open and Schuldig yawns . Farfarello started cutting a pillow with his knife . And me…I look at theme trying not to laugh. They're doing this just to make Brad angry.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…stop it right now ! I have a mission report."
"We're listening" Says Schuldig .
" Takatori gave me this one this morning. It's quite an interesting mission . I think you know the Research Institute Katori don't you?"
"Do you know it?"
"No, I don't."
"Isn't the one…"
"Wait…I think I do.."
"Next to the factory.."
"No..I think…"
"I don't think so.."
"That one is old.."
"Yeah..but.."
"SHUT UP ! "
We all shut up. Brad takes a deep breath trying not to really scream at us.
"Fine , you don't know it. You'll see it ! Okay , that institute has something that Takatori wants. We have to get it. High security , video cameras, movement lasers , alarms. Do you think you can handle it ?"
"Yeah.."
"Sure…"
"Why not?"
" Stealing hurts God."
"Yeah…whatever…" We all mumble while we rise and get the files with the mission summary.
"I hope you will be awake this night." Brad says and goes into his room.
I follow him.
"Brad…I wanted to say something to you…ask you…"
"Fast please."
"Well… tell me the truth… do you love me?"
He stares at me. His eyes are cold.
"Of course I do."
"Why don't you show it then…?"
"Look what, I have a lot of work, a mission to complete and you're talking about love?"
"Work…fine Brad."
And I step out.
* *
Two hours until we go to the Institute. The night falls. I stay on the balcony and watch the city . So many lights , so many lives out there. So many lies out there, so much pain out there.
I really want to tell someone about me. About all the things I lied . I wish I could tell Brad. But….he will ..I don't think he would kill me , maybe just chase me and make my life miserable. I lied about a lot of things to this….what is his name..? Tak…..whatever..
I'm not what I seem. Not at all.
The city lights….Oh…my only friends. The lights of the city. Electrical lights . Neon lights.
" Brad…"
I turn around.
"Wha- ? "
I see Nagi in the pale neon lights.
"It's because of him isn't it ?"
"What?"
"Because of him you are sad aren't you?"
"Um…"
" You don't have to answer. I know it. "
"Mr. Knows-it-all ." I say smiling. He doesn't respond with a smile.
Please Nagi, smile. I don't want you miserable because of me.
"excuse me" I say
I have to have a talk with Brad, I really do.
I knock before I enter.
"Come in "
I see him at his desk.He rolls his eyes when he sees me.
"What is it?"
"Please Brad I have to get something straight with you ."
"WHAT?"
"Tell me do you CARE?"
I rise my voice in front of him.
"What is it that you don't understand? I have work to do now !"
"You always have ! When you'll get some time for me? You don't care for anyone !"
"Stop it Anderson !"
"You don't even call me Angelina ! Can you pronounce that ? AN-GE-LI-NA !!"
I felt his heavy hand hitting my face. It hit me so hard that I fell on he rug.
I look at him surprised.
"Get out ! "He says.
I hold back my tears and run off the room. Nagi stares at me.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going for a walk." I say and go without saying another word.
I run on the stairs and on the street. The people look at me but I don't care. I keep on running.
Damn you Brad ! I only wanted you to care ! To feel something ! Why are you so ice-cold ?
If I don't appear 'till they go on the mission he'll be very pissed off…so what? We been lovers for a while but he never showed me understanding , not even for a few seconds. Because I didn't fucked with him or what ? Fuck yourself Brad !
I stop to catch my breath. I realize I am crying. Stupid Angelina. All you know is crying . Idiot ! You're useless !
The rain starts. It's cursed. Every time I cry the sky cries with me .
The lights start to fade.. the lights are going down on me …
It wets my hair and my clothes. I don't care.
I always had the woman's power. I wonder if I still do. Nope. Just a teenager's power. That is not good enough isn't it?
The rain is getting colder and it starts raining with big raindrops.
I fall and hit something. Something very hard. It hurts but I still rise and run.
My shirt is ripped off in that place, is it my hand? And it bleeds. I don't care.
In my run , I don't see anything. It's mist .
In my face appears a light. A small shop.
I'm cold…
I'm freezing….
I don't care if those guys from Weiss appear right now in front of me and kill me.
In my run I bump into someone and in the rush I fall on the wet street. I try to figure out who's standing in front of me.
I look up in terror. In front of me stays the read head from Weiss.
It's like a dream.. I don't see clearly anymore.
I dream he's rising his katana and tries to kill me.
I dream of blood .
I dream of a tall man taking me in his arms.
I dream blackness….
* *
Shall I continue or erase the chapter?