SOUL REAVER: PANTS OMEN
Ah. Dontcha love short stories? This takes place somewhere in the soul reaver era, so Raziel is a mangled blue corpse in this, though his brethren are vampires, k?
Please note that I think PANTS is a funny word.......... Stop looking at me like that. .......................I SAID STOP!
Raziel marched across the desolate....thing that was Nosgoth. It was then that he realized.....he had not been wearing pants.
No pants.
The abyss had taken his beloved pants.
Raziel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Near standing Sarafan warriors slowly stepped away from Raziel out of fear......
Raziel thought: Kain tossed me in the abyss! The abyss took my pants! I shall find Kain and reclaim my tight pants!
Raziel now had more motivation than ever before. He knew his mission: FIND PANTS. Make others suffer without pants as he had!
The town of Meridian was near. His first victim.
The townspeople slept snuggly in their beds, comfy as could be, unaware that in the morning, their pants would be gone.
Raziel crept into the town as quickly and diligently as a cat. Guards tried to kill him, but it was no use. For before they could swing their mighty axes, their pants had been stolen.
Guard#1: YAAAAAARGH! I HAVE BEEN PANTSED!
Guard#2: I HAVE BEEN PANTSED AS WELL!
Both guards: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Raziel: MUHAHAHA!
As the morning approached, more and more people in Meridian found that their pants were gone. Screams from every crevice of the city floated in the air, as they awoke more people that were now........PANTSLESS. The town was now completely pantsless.
Guy: MY PERFECTLY GOOD PANTS?! OH, WHY HAST THOU DISAPPEARED?!
Women: My.......my....PANTS! THEY ARE GONE! WHY MUST THIS BE?!
Raziel smirked. He had claimed his very first victim. But other towns must be pantsed! Then another! And another! Until the whole world of Nosgoth was pantsless!!!!!!
The Elder God spoke.
Elder: You are getting side tracked, Raziel.....
Raziel: Side tracked?! NO! I MUST HAVE PANTS! YOU MADE ME GO TO AERIAL AND MY BRETHREN WITHOUT PANTS?! PERVERT!!!!!!!! (gives Elder the middle claw)
Elder: WHAT'S THAT FOR?!
Raziel: I JUST TOLD YOU!
Elder: Aerial didn't seemed to mind.....
Raziel: SHUT UP!
Elder: Arg. Fine. Be that way. You're not my friend anymore!
Raziel: Fine!
Elder: Fine!
Raziel: Fine!
Elder: Fine!
Raziel: Fine!
Elder: Fine!
(Elder's voice fades) FINE!
Raziel: FINE!
Hmph! I showed HIM! Now.....back to my filthy evil I guess.....
He stalked the next town: Coorhagen. This was where Kain was from as a human.
Raziel: IT SMELLS HERE!
Silence.
Raziel walked into town. Despite the unpleasant odor, it was a decent sized place to alert all of Nosgoth of the missing pants.
Where Raziel was storing the pants, you ask? He threw them in the chronoplast!
(cut to Kain in the chronoplast with piles of pants in the center)
Kain: ????????
(back to Raziel)
(Raziel stands on a wooden box)
Raziel: *ahem* CITIZENS OF COORHAGEN! SURRENDER YOUR PANTS TO ME OR I WILL KILL YOU! IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT!
(many pairs of pants fly toward Raziel and he catches them)
Raziel runs off with the pants of Coorhagen! He teleports them to the chronoplast.
(cut to Kain in the chronoplast)
(more pants suddenly appear)
Kain: @.@ Wha-? ?????? -_- so many pants.......
(Back to Raziel)
Raziel: Must......find.....more........pants........
Just then, a messenger from another town on a horse is running to warn the other towns! He runs past Raziel.
Messenger guy: WE'LL FIND THAT PANTS THIEF!
Raziel: No you wont!
Messenger guy: -_-
WILL THEY EVER FIGURE OUT WHO IS STEALING THE PANTS? WILL KAIN EVER UNDERSTAND THE SUDDEN MULTITUDE OF PANTS IN THE CHRONOPLAST? REVIEW AND YOU'LL FIND OUT!!!
Ah. Dontcha love short stories? This takes place somewhere in the soul reaver era, so Raziel is a mangled blue corpse in this, though his brethren are vampires, k?
Please note that I think PANTS is a funny word.......... Stop looking at me like that. .......................I SAID STOP!
Raziel marched across the desolate....thing that was Nosgoth. It was then that he realized.....he had not been wearing pants.
No pants.
The abyss had taken his beloved pants.
Raziel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Near standing Sarafan warriors slowly stepped away from Raziel out of fear......
Raziel thought: Kain tossed me in the abyss! The abyss took my pants! I shall find Kain and reclaim my tight pants!
Raziel now had more motivation than ever before. He knew his mission: FIND PANTS. Make others suffer without pants as he had!
The town of Meridian was near. His first victim.
The townspeople slept snuggly in their beds, comfy as could be, unaware that in the morning, their pants would be gone.
Raziel crept into the town as quickly and diligently as a cat. Guards tried to kill him, but it was no use. For before they could swing their mighty axes, their pants had been stolen.
Guard#1: YAAAAAARGH! I HAVE BEEN PANTSED!
Guard#2: I HAVE BEEN PANTSED AS WELL!
Both guards: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Raziel: MUHAHAHA!
As the morning approached, more and more people in Meridian found that their pants were gone. Screams from every crevice of the city floated in the air, as they awoke more people that were now........PANTSLESS. The town was now completely pantsless.
Guy: MY PERFECTLY GOOD PANTS?! OH, WHY HAST THOU DISAPPEARED?!
Women: My.......my....PANTS! THEY ARE GONE! WHY MUST THIS BE?!
Raziel smirked. He had claimed his very first victim. But other towns must be pantsed! Then another! And another! Until the whole world of Nosgoth was pantsless!!!!!!
The Elder God spoke.
Elder: You are getting side tracked, Raziel.....
Raziel: Side tracked?! NO! I MUST HAVE PANTS! YOU MADE ME GO TO AERIAL AND MY BRETHREN WITHOUT PANTS?! PERVERT!!!!!!!! (gives Elder the middle claw)
Elder: WHAT'S THAT FOR?!
Raziel: I JUST TOLD YOU!
Elder: Aerial didn't seemed to mind.....
Raziel: SHUT UP!
Elder: Arg. Fine. Be that way. You're not my friend anymore!
Raziel: Fine!
Elder: Fine!
Raziel: Fine!
Elder: Fine!
Raziel: Fine!
Elder: Fine!
(Elder's voice fades) FINE!
Raziel: FINE!
Hmph! I showed HIM! Now.....back to my filthy evil I guess.....
He stalked the next town: Coorhagen. This was where Kain was from as a human.
Raziel: IT SMELLS HERE!
Silence.
Raziel walked into town. Despite the unpleasant odor, it was a decent sized place to alert all of Nosgoth of the missing pants.
Where Raziel was storing the pants, you ask? He threw them in the chronoplast!
(cut to Kain in the chronoplast with piles of pants in the center)
Kain: ????????
(back to Raziel)
(Raziel stands on a wooden box)
Raziel: *ahem* CITIZENS OF COORHAGEN! SURRENDER YOUR PANTS TO ME OR I WILL KILL YOU! IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT!
(many pairs of pants fly toward Raziel and he catches them)
Raziel runs off with the pants of Coorhagen! He teleports them to the chronoplast.
(cut to Kain in the chronoplast)
(more pants suddenly appear)
Kain: @.@ Wha-? ?????? -_- so many pants.......
(Back to Raziel)
Raziel: Must......find.....more........pants........
Just then, a messenger from another town on a horse is running to warn the other towns! He runs past Raziel.
Messenger guy: WE'LL FIND THAT PANTS THIEF!
Raziel: No you wont!
Messenger guy: -_-
WILL THEY EVER FIGURE OUT WHO IS STEALING THE PANTS? WILL KAIN EVER UNDERSTAND THE SUDDEN MULTITUDE OF PANTS IN THE CHRONOPLAST? REVIEW AND YOU'LL FIND OUT!!!