The sun was already up when Moiraine opened her eyes. Her room was bathed in sunlight, which looked lovely, but she didn't feel happy. There was a big part of her, which was missing and it hurt terribly. For a few heartbeats, she just listened to Lan's steady breathing. He was still lying beside her, and she hadn't even freed her fingers. And still… he wasn't completely with her. Not like he had been when their bond had been unmasked.
A single tear rolled over Moiraine's cheek. The loss of her warder had hurt the most. It had been hard to leave him in Fal Dara behind, while she had taken Rand to the eye of the world. Knowing that she'd maybe never made it back. That she wouldn't survive it. But she had survived. Rand had defeated the Dark One or at least had won his first battle against him.
'And what am I now? I can't channel anymore. I'm not an Aes Sedai anymore. I can't even help my warder, who got hurt because he wanted to find a way to help me.'
More tears were escaping from her eyes, and she hoped that Nynaeve wouldn't come in now, or anyone of the others. She didn't want them to see her like this.
When she had control over her feelings again, she carefully tried to sit upright. In the next second, Lan's grip on her hand tightened. "What are you doing?"
It wasn't much more than a murmur, and Moiraine almost laughed since she couldn't remember when her warder had been this tired before. "I would like to get up."
"Why?"
"Because I'm sure that Nynaeve will be here any minute and I would like to avoid her."
Slowly, Lan opened his eyes and looked at her. "As if you could do that."
She gave him a small smile, then her free hand moved over his stomach. "How do you feel?"
"I've been better, but I will survive it."
"I'm glad to hear this."
His fingers touched her bloody tunic, which was now dry. "You should probably clean up yourself before we go back to the others."
"You should talk. Have you looked at yourself?"
Lan chuckled, then he put himself in an upright position and groaned from the pain. He could use a bath as well. Although Moiraine had tried to wash off some of the blood, there was a lot of it left. But Nynaeve would kill him if he would take a bath with his wounds.
"We need to clean you up before you leave this room."
Carefully, Lan swung his feet over the edge, then he needed a moment. He had lost a lot of blood. Meanwhile, Moiraine left the bed and walked to the bathtub. At the wall hang a beautiful mirror, but she only needed one look. She looked as if she had been in a fight with a Myrddraal. She was pale and had dark circles under her eyes. When she pulled up her tunic, she saw that the blood had dried on her skin as well. She would have to take a quick cold bath. Otherwise, it would take her forever to clean herself.
Lan looked up when he heard how she filled the bathtub with water. "What are you doing?"
"I'm taking a bath."
At her words, he raised his eyebrow skeptically. He remembered that only a few nights had passed since she had tried to drown herself. Moiraine rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not trying to kill myself, Lan."
He wasn't convinced. Instead, he observed every move of her until she had enough water in the bathtub. Then she took off her clothes and stepped into the tub. Moiraine shivered since the water was really cold, but she couldn't warm it up.
Slowly, Lan stood up and walked over to her. Moiraine raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want to watch my every move?"
"If it keeps you alive."
"Don't be stupid. You should clean yourself."
Lan thought about his possibilities, then he took off the rest of his clothes and joined her in the bathtub. "Lan! Your wounds! You shouldn't…!"
"I'll be fine." Very carefully, the warder started to wash off the dry blood on his body.
When the Aes Sedai and her warder entered the throne room, they were surprised when they only found Loial. "Where is everyone?", Lan asked.
"Moiraine Sedai. Al'Lan Mandragoran. I heard what happened last night. I'm glad to see you both alive."
Although the ogier was still not healed, he hurried to get on his feet. Moiraine was immediately by his side and helped him. Then she smiled at him friendly. "Thank you, Loial. Maybe you can help us? Last night, Lan drew a map, but I can't find it anymore. Is there a chance that you might have seen it?"
The ogier looked confused. "You're talking about the map where Rand is? Nynaeve took it to keep it safe. She didn't want it to get lost."
Moiraine's lips became very thin before she forced the smile back on them. "That's very… thoughtful of her. Where is Nynaeve? I assumed to find her here, as well as Egwene and Perrin."
"They're all packing. They agreed…"
"We leave Fal Dara." The wisdom entered the throne room with her bag over her shoulder.
Lan growled. What had happened to develop a plan? They couldn't just leave and hope they would stumble over Rand. "Did you plan on taking us with you? Or did you want to leave us here?"
"Don't be stupid, Lan." Nynaeve left her bag at the door, then she walked to Lan to examine his wounds. "SHE is our only lead to Rand. I wouldn't leave her behind."
Lan put his other arm around Nynaeve's waist and pulled her close to him. "We need a plan. We can't…"
"WE have a plan. We follow Rand and bring him back. And SHE will lead us to him." When Moiraine released a sarcastic laugh, Nynaeve turned her head angrily at the Aes Sedai. "Is there something funny?"
"You still don't understand how this bond between Rand and me works, do you? I don't remember anything. I don't know what he is saying to the Dark One and I definitely don't remember where he is when he is asleep. So, take me where ever you want to, but I won't be able to locate Rand."
Nynaeve pushed her fingernails into Lan's arm, while she glared at the other woman. "I know that you don't remember anything. At least, that's what you're saying. But Lan can enter your mind and…"
"No!" Angry, Moiraine took two steps towards Nynaeve, and the wisdom did the same until they were standing eye to eye. "Lan won't do this ever again!"
"This is not up to you."
"It's my mind, and I say no!"
"Do you? How well did this work yesterday when we forced you to drink the tea?" Nynaeve smirked superior. Moiraine wasn't a threat to her without the One Power. "You can do nothing against us. And even Lan won't be able to keep us from forcing this tea down your throat. I will find Rand. And you will help us if you like it or not."
"And here I thought you care about Lan.", Moiraine said icily "Must be my mistake."
"What do you…?"
"You know what happened to him last night. This will happen again as soon as he enters my mind again, and I won't let that happen."
"Enough." Lan stepped between the two women. This way, they had to take a step back. "Why do you two always have to fight?"
They didn't give him an answer. Instead, they kept staring at each other. Lan sighed, then he put his arm around Moiraine and pushed her softly to the balcony. He needed to talk to her and he didn't want Nynaeve to listen. After a few steps, the Aes Sedai turned on her own and moved outside.
"We have to go with them." Moiraine threw him an evil eye, which he had seen coming. "We need to find Rand, and you know that he will probably listen more to his friends."
"We have been hunting the Dragon Reborn for over twenty years. We don't need his friends."
"You think that he will listen to you?", Lan asked and raised an eyebrow skeptically "Come on, Moiraine. We traveled long enough with Rand to know that he doesn't trust us. In his opinion, we are the people, who brought the Trollocs to his town. We are the ones, who forced him and his friends to leave their families and friends. Their home. If there's anyone who can convince him to return to Tar Valon with us, it's Nynaeve and the others."
He heard how she exhaled before she leaned on the balcony. At least, she wasn't yelling at him. Slowly, he approached her, then he laid his hand on her back. For a moment, she stiffened under his touch until she relaxed again, but she didn't look at him. "You know that I'm right."
"I don't know if I can ride with her, Lan. She drives me crazy."
"Then you keep your distance. Egwene, Perrin and Loial will be there, too. The four of us will make sure that you two won't kill each other."
"I could handle her ignorant behavior. But I won't allow her to give me those herbs again."
"Moiraine…"
"No." Finally, she turned her head and looked him in the eye. He saw her pain and the fear that she would hurt him again. "You're not doing this again."
Smiling, his finger moved over her cheek until they reached her neck, and he was able to pull her towards him. Immediately, she put her arms around him, while he laid his forehead against hers. "I'm not afraid."
"I don't want you to get hurt."
"I wasn't prepared the first time. I didn't know what would expect me. Now, I know what awaits me." Moiraine shook her head softly, while a single tear was running down her cheek. Lan wiped it away with his thumb. "I will be careful."
Instead of answering him, she took another step forward, so, she was pressed against his body and was holding him close. Lan tucked her head under his chin, while he was rubbing soothing circles on her back.
This was their mission and they had to see it through. The Dark One wasn't defeated and Rand was the only one, who could kill him. But the boy didn't know what was coming for him. He would need help. Help from his friends and help from Moiraine. And if there was time, Lan would also show him how to use this sword before he would hurt himself.
Two hours later, they had packed everything. They took from the kitchen as much as possible since they didn't know when they would find food on their way. Perrin and Egwene had searched the whole city for horses, and they had been surprised that they were able to get one for everyone. There was even a strong horse, which could carry the big ogier.
It was weird to ride through the empty city. A few days ago, this had been a city full of life. Now, it was dead, and no one knew when or if there would be anyone returning.
The group left the walls behind them, then they turned to the mountains. Determined to find their friend.
We finally leave Fal Dara and start our search for Rand. What do you think so far? Do you like it? Is there anything that's bothering you? Something you liked? I would really like to hear your thoughts.
Happy Easter everyone :D