First Challenge
Brook: Hello, I'm Brook, and I'm here to laugh at your jokes, and make you hate me. Welcome to- DOG EAT DOG!
Audience: (mixture of yea's and boo's)
Brook: Today's contestants are: Kenshin Himura, Sanosuke Sagara, Aoshi Shinomori, Hiko Seijuuro, Saitoh Hajime, and Sohjiro. Thanks to their wives/girlfriends who put them up to this, WE NOW HAVE A SHOW!!
Audience: Yay!
Brook: Okay, how about if we have everyone tell us a little about yourself. Kenshin?
Kenshin: Uh. *smiles nervously* My name is Kenshin.
Hiko: Hurry it up, baka.
Kenshin: *glares at Hiko* That's about..it..
Brook: Oh..kay.. Sojiro?
Sojiro: *smiles* My name is Sojiro, and I'm really really fast. Wanna see?
*Sojiro ties his shoes for a good two minutes, before sprinting around the whole studio; leaving his footprints all over the place, even along the wall*
Brook: *sweatdrops* ..janitor's going to have a fit.
Sano: My turn! My name is Sanosuke; I like rice cakes, and women! *eyes Brook* You're mighty fine.
Brook: *laughs nervously* Touch me, and I'll kick your ass. Okay, next? *asks sweetly*
Aoshi: *glare* We'll keep this on a need to know basis.
Brook: Is..that all? *sweatdrop*
Aoshi: Yes. *glare*
Everyone: *Sweatdrop*
Hiko: My name's Hiko, I make pottery and drink. *deadpan*
Sano: You forgot to mention: teaching Kenshin! *grin*
Kenshin: *glowers at Sano* Way to ruin everything Sano, now they -know-.
Hiko: *glares dangerously* What? Don't think I'm a good enough teacher, baka deshi?
Kenshin: Yes. *glares daggers at Hiko and Sano* (if looks could kill)
Brook: A-hem! Saitoh?
Saitoh: What?
Brook: Your turn.
Saitoh: For what? *lights a cigarette*
Brook: I'm going to have to ask you to put that out.
Saitoh: *takes long drag* Too bad.
Brook: Then I'll have to call security.
Saitoh: I'm shaking. *flicks cigarette ash onto floor* On cue, the security guards arrive, and are promptly beat up.
Brook: *looks nervous* Okay then.. let me explain the rules of this game. I will present you six with a challenge. You must vote on who you think will fail at this challenge. The person with the most votes must do the challenge, if they fail- they must go to the DogHouse; if they succeed they will choose someone else to go in their place. Are you ready?
Group:.
Brook: Okay, then! *sweatdrop* The first challenge is: *curtain rolls up* (there's a long, thin, steel pole, over a pit full of water and sharks) You must cross over the pit on that pole *points*, and you must do it in under 2 min. Oh, did I mention that you have to cross on a pair of stilts? This would be a challenge that calls for coordination and balance-
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
Brook: *mutter* Well that was fast.. Okay, we'll start with Saitoh. you voted for Kenshin. Next, Hiko. Kenshin. Aoshi.Kenshin.Sano.Kenshin.Sojiro.Kenshin. Kenshin.Kenshin?!!
Kenshin: I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Hiko: Haha! I knew you were stupid!!
Kenshin: *eyes turn yellow* Can I change my vote?!
Brook: Uh.. it wouldn't really matter. 5 to 1.
DING! *Kenshin's vote changes from himself to 'Stupid, Old, Man'
Brook: *laughs nervously* O-okay.. Kenshin, come down here please. *Kenshin stands next to her, and is about as tall as her armpit* Alright, now I've already explained the challenge. Do you want me to repeat myself?
Kenshin: No, I'm okay. *pulls away from Brook*
Brook: We'll be right back. *looks into camera and smiles*
Cameraman: And we're out!
Audience: Yeaaa!
Sano: *yells* Hey, Brook! Can I come down there too?? Heh heh.
Brook: *rolls eyes* This show is so going to hurt the ratings.
Sano: *yells* Com' on baby! It'll be worth your while!
Cameraman: We're on in 10..9.
Brook: We're on already?! W-what?!
Cameraman: *shrugs* We're losing our sponsors.. this show is actually a desperate attempt to get Rurouni Kenshin fans to watch.. 2.1
Brook: *wipes off look of disbelief and smiles serenely into the camera* We're back.
Sano: *yells* What's your sign Brook??
Brook: *smile becomes forced* This way.. *motions jerkily to where Kenshin is standing, all suited up* Are you ready, Himura-san?
Kenshin: Ready as I'll ever be. *gulps* *looks into camera seriously* Kaoru, I love you.
Hiko: Fool. He'll never be able to achieve the $25,000 if he does not have the will to live. (sound familiar guys?)
Brook: Alright, when I say go, the NetZero/Circuit City/Best Buy/Bill Gates clock will start. Ready..go!
*Kenshin toddles across beam, arms wind-milling wildly. One stilt breaks off, and is eaten by sharks. Losing his balance, Kenshin falls, but lands on the beam. Unfortunately, he lands with a leg on either side of the pole, leaving him in a none-too-comfortable position. He screams some profanities, but manages to scoot himself to the other side under the time limit*
Audience: Yay! He hurt himself!
Brook: Wow! I didn't know anyone could do that? Are *you* alright?
Kenshin: *doesn't really understand her subtle hint* Yes, yes, I'm fine.
Hiko: You better check on him, I think he just damaged his brain!
Brook: Oh, you poor dear. *moves towards him*
Kenshin: *laughs nervously* No, I'm okay, really.
Brook: Alright then! You know the rules. Since you've won, you now have the power to choose who will take your place in. *camera zooms in* the DOG HOUSE.
Kenshin: *looks around at contestants, his eyes narrowing as they skim over Hiko*
Hiko: Don't even think about it, baka! If you do, I swear that I'll come over to the dojo everyday.
Kenshin: *starts sweating and gasping for breath*
Brook: Sir, you're not allowed to threaten any other contestants.
Kenshin: I-I've decided. I'll pick.......*drumroll*
Audience: *leans forward*
Kenshin:....*pause*.....
Brook: *leans in*
Kenshin.........*dramatic pause*..
TV viewers: *lean towards televisions*
Kenshin:..myself.. *beams*
Everyone: *sweatdrops*
Hiko: *nods* Stupid, I told you. (states matter-of-factly)
Brook: T-that's .uh..different.okay.then. go to the Dog House. Uh.. *looks at camera* Is it time for a commercial break yet? Oh. one more minute? Uh. okay..
Cameraman: *whisper* psst.. you forgot to ask the contestants 'why' they voted for Kenshin..
Brook: Right. *turns to contestants* So, why did you choose Kenshin, Saitoh?
Saitoh: Because he is weaker than I am.
Brook: Okaaay. Sojiro, why did you pick Kenshin?
Sojiro: The strong shall survive.. the weak shall perish..
Brook: This is probably one of the only times you can say that, and it has meaning. Hiko? Why did you vote for Kenshin?
Hiko: Do you have to ask? *deadpan*
Sano: I voted for him, because I think that you're hot!
Brook: What?! That doesn't even make sense.
Saitoh: In case you haven't noticed, Sano isn't exactly what we would call 'brilliant'. He'd be more of the type classified 'as smart as broccoli'.
Sano: I resent that!
Brook: MOV-ing. On. Aoshi? I haven't heard more than a sentence out of you. Why did you choose Himura-san?
Aoshi: *glare* .
Brook: *looks nervously at Aoshi*
Aoshi: .
Cameraman: And we're out!
Brook: *turns and runs towards exit* If anyone wants me, I'll be curled up in a ball, in the bathroom.sobbing.
Sano: If anyone wants me, I'll be next to her!
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
A/N: Hee hee! This is so much fun! I hope I get some reviews, otherwise I'll have to go curl up in the bathroom. So read and review guys!
Note: If you've never seen the show, Dog Eat Dog, I suggest you do. It's not half-bad.
Brook: Hello, I'm Brook, and I'm here to laugh at your jokes, and make you hate me. Welcome to- DOG EAT DOG!
Audience: (mixture of yea's and boo's)
Brook: Today's contestants are: Kenshin Himura, Sanosuke Sagara, Aoshi Shinomori, Hiko Seijuuro, Saitoh Hajime, and Sohjiro. Thanks to their wives/girlfriends who put them up to this, WE NOW HAVE A SHOW!!
Audience: Yay!
Brook: Okay, how about if we have everyone tell us a little about yourself. Kenshin?
Kenshin: Uh. *smiles nervously* My name is Kenshin.
Hiko: Hurry it up, baka.
Kenshin: *glares at Hiko* That's about..it..
Brook: Oh..kay.. Sojiro?
Sojiro: *smiles* My name is Sojiro, and I'm really really fast. Wanna see?
*Sojiro ties his shoes for a good two minutes, before sprinting around the whole studio; leaving his footprints all over the place, even along the wall*
Brook: *sweatdrops* ..janitor's going to have a fit.
Sano: My turn! My name is Sanosuke; I like rice cakes, and women! *eyes Brook* You're mighty fine.
Brook: *laughs nervously* Touch me, and I'll kick your ass. Okay, next? *asks sweetly*
Aoshi: *glare* We'll keep this on a need to know basis.
Brook: Is..that all? *sweatdrop*
Aoshi: Yes. *glare*
Everyone: *Sweatdrop*
Hiko: My name's Hiko, I make pottery and drink. *deadpan*
Sano: You forgot to mention: teaching Kenshin! *grin*
Kenshin: *glowers at Sano* Way to ruin everything Sano, now they -know-.
Hiko: *glares dangerously* What? Don't think I'm a good enough teacher, baka deshi?
Kenshin: Yes. *glares daggers at Hiko and Sano* (if looks could kill)
Brook: A-hem! Saitoh?
Saitoh: What?
Brook: Your turn.
Saitoh: For what? *lights a cigarette*
Brook: I'm going to have to ask you to put that out.
Saitoh: *takes long drag* Too bad.
Brook: Then I'll have to call security.
Saitoh: I'm shaking. *flicks cigarette ash onto floor* On cue, the security guards arrive, and are promptly beat up.
Brook: *looks nervous* Okay then.. let me explain the rules of this game. I will present you six with a challenge. You must vote on who you think will fail at this challenge. The person with the most votes must do the challenge, if they fail- they must go to the DogHouse; if they succeed they will choose someone else to go in their place. Are you ready?
Group:.
Brook: Okay, then! *sweatdrop* The first challenge is: *curtain rolls up* (there's a long, thin, steel pole, over a pit full of water and sharks) You must cross over the pit on that pole *points*, and you must do it in under 2 min. Oh, did I mention that you have to cross on a pair of stilts? This would be a challenge that calls for coordination and balance-
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
Brook: *mutter* Well that was fast.. Okay, we'll start with Saitoh. you voted for Kenshin. Next, Hiko. Kenshin. Aoshi.Kenshin.Sano.Kenshin.Sojiro.Kenshin. Kenshin.Kenshin?!!
Kenshin: I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Hiko: Haha! I knew you were stupid!!
Kenshin: *eyes turn yellow* Can I change my vote?!
Brook: Uh.. it wouldn't really matter. 5 to 1.
DING! *Kenshin's vote changes from himself to 'Stupid, Old, Man'
Brook: *laughs nervously* O-okay.. Kenshin, come down here please. *Kenshin stands next to her, and is about as tall as her armpit* Alright, now I've already explained the challenge. Do you want me to repeat myself?
Kenshin: No, I'm okay. *pulls away from Brook*
Brook: We'll be right back. *looks into camera and smiles*
Cameraman: And we're out!
Audience: Yeaaa!
Sano: *yells* Hey, Brook! Can I come down there too?? Heh heh.
Brook: *rolls eyes* This show is so going to hurt the ratings.
Sano: *yells* Com' on baby! It'll be worth your while!
Cameraman: We're on in 10..9.
Brook: We're on already?! W-what?!
Cameraman: *shrugs* We're losing our sponsors.. this show is actually a desperate attempt to get Rurouni Kenshin fans to watch.. 2.1
Brook: *wipes off look of disbelief and smiles serenely into the camera* We're back.
Sano: *yells* What's your sign Brook??
Brook: *smile becomes forced* This way.. *motions jerkily to where Kenshin is standing, all suited up* Are you ready, Himura-san?
Kenshin: Ready as I'll ever be. *gulps* *looks into camera seriously* Kaoru, I love you.
Hiko: Fool. He'll never be able to achieve the $25,000 if he does not have the will to live. (sound familiar guys?)
Brook: Alright, when I say go, the NetZero/Circuit City/Best Buy/Bill Gates clock will start. Ready..go!
*Kenshin toddles across beam, arms wind-milling wildly. One stilt breaks off, and is eaten by sharks. Losing his balance, Kenshin falls, but lands on the beam. Unfortunately, he lands with a leg on either side of the pole, leaving him in a none-too-comfortable position. He screams some profanities, but manages to scoot himself to the other side under the time limit*
Audience: Yay! He hurt himself!
Brook: Wow! I didn't know anyone could do that? Are *you* alright?
Kenshin: *doesn't really understand her subtle hint* Yes, yes, I'm fine.
Hiko: You better check on him, I think he just damaged his brain!
Brook: Oh, you poor dear. *moves towards him*
Kenshin: *laughs nervously* No, I'm okay, really.
Brook: Alright then! You know the rules. Since you've won, you now have the power to choose who will take your place in. *camera zooms in* the DOG HOUSE.
Kenshin: *looks around at contestants, his eyes narrowing as they skim over Hiko*
Hiko: Don't even think about it, baka! If you do, I swear that I'll come over to the dojo everyday.
Kenshin: *starts sweating and gasping for breath*
Brook: Sir, you're not allowed to threaten any other contestants.
Kenshin: I-I've decided. I'll pick.......*drumroll*
Audience: *leans forward*
Kenshin:....*pause*.....
Brook: *leans in*
Kenshin.........*dramatic pause*..
TV viewers: *lean towards televisions*
Kenshin:..myself.. *beams*
Everyone: *sweatdrops*
Hiko: *nods* Stupid, I told you. (states matter-of-factly)
Brook: T-that's .uh..different.okay.then. go to the Dog House. Uh.. *looks at camera* Is it time for a commercial break yet? Oh. one more minute? Uh. okay..
Cameraman: *whisper* psst.. you forgot to ask the contestants 'why' they voted for Kenshin..
Brook: Right. *turns to contestants* So, why did you choose Kenshin, Saitoh?
Saitoh: Because he is weaker than I am.
Brook: Okaaay. Sojiro, why did you pick Kenshin?
Sojiro: The strong shall survive.. the weak shall perish..
Brook: This is probably one of the only times you can say that, and it has meaning. Hiko? Why did you vote for Kenshin?
Hiko: Do you have to ask? *deadpan*
Sano: I voted for him, because I think that you're hot!
Brook: What?! That doesn't even make sense.
Saitoh: In case you haven't noticed, Sano isn't exactly what we would call 'brilliant'. He'd be more of the type classified 'as smart as broccoli'.
Sano: I resent that!
Brook: MOV-ing. On. Aoshi? I haven't heard more than a sentence out of you. Why did you choose Himura-san?
Aoshi: *glare* .
Brook: *looks nervously at Aoshi*
Aoshi: .
Cameraman: And we're out!
Brook: *turns and runs towards exit* If anyone wants me, I'll be curled up in a ball, in the bathroom.sobbing.
Sano: If anyone wants me, I'll be next to her!
Everyone: *sweatdrop*
A/N: Hee hee! This is so much fun! I hope I get some reviews, otherwise I'll have to go curl up in the bathroom. So read and review guys!
Note: If you've never seen the show, Dog Eat Dog, I suggest you do. It's not half-bad.