Title: Chipped or De-Chipped, That's the Question -- Chapter 2
Summary: Spike got de-chipped, returned to his evil self and Buffy had to face the consequences.
Sunnydale, October 2002

Dawn was leaving for Janice's, when the mailman arrived. The girl got the correspondence and came back inside, checking if there was something for her -- and there wasn't, as always. However, she noticed a letter, addressed to Buffy in a neat handwriting, with stamps from England all over it, but without a sender. Dawn immediately thought of Giles and Willow (she was living abroad, recovering from magic addition) and left the envelope on the coffee table; sure, Buffy would find it there.

Half an hour after Dawn had left the Summer's house, Buffy came from her bedroom with a magazine in her hands, and headed for the drawing room. As soon as she got there, she took notice of the envelope that her kid sister had left on the coffee table and picked it up, with anxiety. She looked at that handwriting she knew so well, and opened it, tearing up one side of the envelope. Yes, it was from him.

Pet,

It has been 235 days. Two hundred and thirty five days without you. I don't know whether you read all these letters I've been sending to you or not -- and I don't blame you if you don't, if you're throwing them away as soon as the mailman delivers them in your mailbox -- even so, it's very important to me to write these messages.
I'm still fighting against my nature, this nature that make me go out several nights a week to hunt... If it counts in my favor, many times I come back to my crypt without any dead person on my conscience: I've been drinking from people, but I don't kill them, I can manage to stop before they die.
Conscience... Funny, I talk about conscience, isn't it?
I do know that it doesn't mean much to you, but believe me pet, it's a huge step for me...
One day, I'll be worth of you and of your love. Then, I hope you can forgive me and take me back.
Love

Spike

One more of those letters where Spike swore that he would overcome his evil nature, Buffy thought. And she remembered the night when she couldn't bring herself to kill her vampire lover in that dirty alley. She had stopped the wooden stake millimeters from Spike's heart and, very disappointed -- in Spike and herself -- she had run back home, where she locked herself in her bedroom and cried for days and days, feeling it wasn't worth doing anything. She suffered because she had lost her boyfriend, and she suffered because she had failed as a Slayer.

Time went by, and life returned to normal again. Buffy patrolled Sunnydale (she was still the Slayer, after all), started fighting Warren, Andrew and Jonathan, took care of Dawn and went on working... at the damn DoubleMeat Palace. Indeed, hunting vampires had never given her any reward, just aches all over her body and a broken heart -- twice. And Buffy was living that dull routine when she got the first letter from Spike. Actually, it hadn't been a letter, it had been an e-mail.

Back in March 2002

Some night, alone at home, since Willow and Tara had gone to the Bronze and Dawn was spending the weekend at Janice's, Buffy noticed that Willow had forgotten her notebook on the dinner table. Not much into computers, seldom did the Slayer check if there was messages addressed to her, to the e-mail account she and Spike had created some time ago. That night, she decided to go online, in order to see if somebody had sent her something -- which, she thought, wasn't much likely, since her only friends were the Scoobies, and they saw each other every other day. Much to her surprise, however, there was a message and its title immediately drew her attention: "Forgive me, luv."

Buffy didn't read it that day, nor did she read the messages with similar titles she didn't stop getting in the following days. Soon, she started getting conventional letters, written by hand and sent by mail -- and these, she didn't open, too.

However, after some time, Buffy started opening them. Each e-mail or letter was a sample of how much Spike was struggling to do the right thing, the sadness when he didn't resist his urges, the joy when he managed to overcome his blood lust. And in each one of them, he asked her to forgive him, forgive him to be a vampire without a soul.

Sunnydale, December 2002

When almost 300 days had passed, since Spike left Sunnydale, one more letter arrived. And it was different -- it sounded as a farewell and as a new beginning, at the same time. Buffy didn't quite understand what it read.

Pet,

The end -- of our agony -- is near.
I still have to fight hard against this crave that overcome me every night, and it seems that it will never end.
But I believe I've seen a light at the end of the tunnel -- and it isn't a train!
The letters and e-mails will stop for a while -- I hope so. What I'll do, I'll do for you -- and for me, too, why not?
If you don't hear from me anymore, I want you to know I'll be fine, it doesn't matter where or how I'll be.
And, above all, be sure I love you, pet.
Goodbye... or see you later,

Spike

Again, a time of uncertainties for Buffy. She couldn't do anything, just wait.

***

Exactly 30 days after receiving that enigmatic letter, Buffy was patrolling in the cemetery where Spike's crypt was located, when, suddenly, the vampire appeared in front of her. He was gorgeous and sexy, as always -- but he was different. His hair was still bleached, but a little longer, curly, and with dark roots. He wore khaki pants, a blue button-down shirt open over a black T-shirt, a shiny brown leather jacket, and brand-new brown shoes. In his face, one could see a little bit of sadness, but he seemed very self-assured. Buffy noticed with surprise the change in his appearance, but she didn't say anything; Spike spoke first:

"Luv, I tried. I didn't want to kill, I wanted to care about human life, but although trying hard, I always ended up giving in to the temptation. I knew that, for me, there was no redemption... as long as I didn't have a soul. Then... I went to seek one... I went to seek a SOUL."

Buffy still was unable to say any word.

"I looked for a shaman in Africa... He had the power of giving souls, or rather, of returning souls to its original places... Of course, the bloody demon had its rules and he gave me a hard time... But I won, pet, I won! And now, I'm not an evil soulless thing anymore. And I need you very much, to help me to support the weight of this soul, so many things I have to atone-"

Spike couldn't finish the phrase: Buffy ran towards him and hugged and caressed and kissed him passionately.

And they lived happily ever after.


::THE HAPPY END::


A/N - I really don't think Spike needed a soul to be redeemed, but when I sat down to write a fic yesterday, it was this one that came out... I hope you have enjoyed and thanks to those people who have taken time to review it!