He had a long assed day and was looking forward to popping the top of a beer, putting his feet up and catching a hockey game. Working as a cop certainly kicked his ass on more than one occasion but it was often balanced with days where not much was happening and while you didn't actually put your feet up at least you weren't on them all day. Working construction, now that was exhausting. He didn't hate it, but love it? Nah, he didn't love it.
Al was out and the lure of some peace and quiet had caused him to ignore the invitation from Atwater to head out for a beer or four. Since he'd been back there had barely been a moment to scratch himself or just chill out and not spend his time talking about the past nine years. Everyone wanted to make up for lost time, everyone wanted to know.
He knew they were just wanting to help, to fill him in on what he'd missed, to reconnect but sometimes it was just a bridge too far for him. He'd enjoyed the night out with them recently but it was enough for now. Just dealing with his new role as a Dad was challenging enough lately and they had all learnt that he just couldn't pile too much on his plate at once.
One thing that was constantly on his mind though was Kim. Not surprising it had only taken him a moment to fall back in love with her, probably because he had never stopped, so being so close to her was starting to hurt like all fuck. Whatever he felt though he had to bury. Without a doubt she had made it clear that his priority had to be his son, just as her priority was Oliver and Daisy. And that's where things had gotten tricky. It wasn't even like he had a choice either. It wasn't one or the other; he had the choice of one or none and choosing none was not an option. He wasn't going to lose his son so what he needed to do was stop loving his mother and if he couldn't he had to at least stop dreaming about being with her.
She wasn't making that easy though. She liked his flirting, he could see that and at times she was just as bad as he was. They were dancing around each other and both of them were waiting for someone to start playing a slow song, he was waiting for Kim to let him know how far she wanted to go, he wanted it all.
Oliver, now that was easy. He was a great kid and Adam loved every minute he spent with his son. Oliver always wanted to hang out with him and he had to convince Kim not to keep trying to rein him in because Adam was determined to make up for lost time. His Dad, or should he say Kim's husband was not making it easy for any of them, not that that was any great surprise but he knew that Oliver hated being caught in the middle so he tried to stay out of it as best he could.
When Steve had found out that Adam was going to his games suddenly he decided that they would all go as a family. His family – Kim, Daisy and himself, which left Adam no choice but to tell Oliver that he couldn't come and watch him play. He'd cried and he'd got angry with Adam and made him feel like the world's biggest prick. He rang Kim and blasted her, accusing her of using Oliver to make her life easier and keeping him from his son. He was hurt and angry, he wanted to be Oliver's father, that's what she claimed she wanted too and now she was telling him that her husband's feelings were more important. It had upset Kim and she apologised over and over again. Oliver lashed out at his mother, which also upset Adam. Nothing about this was easy.
So he did the only thing he could think of and that was he went anyway, stood by the fence in the outfield and watched his son's games. Kim knew he was there, she saw him pull up on his bike and she made sure Oliver knew too. He would ring Oliver after the game and talk to him about it and that made Oliver happy and he would tell his mother that he didn't care that she was there, or 'him' because Adam came anyway because 'he loves me.'.
Adam had to tell him that it wasn't her fault and that they would work it out. He tried to explain to him that it was very and emotional and complicated situation. He wouldn't tolerate Oliver disrespecting his mother.
It had only lasted a two weeks before Steve started blowing it off again and Adam was back sitting next to Kim and Oliver was beyond happy, even Daisy was excited to see Adam again and Adam spoiled her rotten, he always bought her a milkshake when he bought Kim's coffee and they always went out for lunch afterwards.
It was hard to let people in, to let people love you when you had spent so many years not letting yourself get too close to anyone. Now there was this kid, this amazing boy who had all the love in the world for him and just wanted Adam to love him back, and he did. He loved his son.
He seriously considered not answering his phone when it rang. He didn't need another call from Atwater or Halstead or his mother. She rang constantly; obviously making sure he wasn't about to disappear into thin air again. Then again perhaps it was Kim and he always wanted to talk to her, he could talk to her for hours. So he pushed himself up of the couch and fished it out of jacket pocket.
"Ollie Bud, what's up?" It had only been recently that Kim had given him Adam's number. The first time he called him he sounded so buzzed and Adam had kept a goofy grin on his face all day. Al razzed him about it but he was happy for him. He'd had a incredibly rough road but he was embracing this curveball he'd been thrown like the man he was.
"Adam." He still called him Adam and they hadn't had that conversation yet. He knew that Ollie had asked his mother what he should call him right when he found out that his Dad was alive and they were all happy with him being 'Adam' at the moment. Oliver needed to make the decision if he wanted it to be anything else.
He had all his attention as soon as he heard the panic in his son's voice. The love and protectiveness you felt for you child was innate and that was something he had learnt quickly. "Ollie, talk to me man."
"It's dark. I can't turn on any lights."
"What do you mean? Where are you?"
"At home."
"Alone?"
"Yes. Dad was here and we had a fight and he took Daisy and then all the lights went out and he left." Adam was already half way out the door. "I can't turn them back on, they don't work anymore." Things had spiralled way out of control in the last few weeks.
Adam had agreed to meet him, alone as he insisted and it started pleasantly enough but soon went sideways when the guy told him to back off making a move on his wife and to stay away from his daughter. "Your kid, he's your problem now." The dismissive nature of his voice when he talked about Oliver had made Adam's blood boil. He knew that this had been some of the issues between him and Kim, that he kinda ignored Oliver but hearing the disdain for Oliver in his voice pissed Adam off.
"Whoa." Adam leant back in his chair, the poxy little dive bar he had chosen told him a lot. He'd been here himself; in those early days when he first was put into Witness Protection he'd drunk himself into a stupor on more than one occasion. It was only waking up in an alleyway, battered and bruised and missing his wallet and phone did he decide that this wasn't going to achieve anything. Steve was drinking again, heavily and making life hell for Kim and it was hard for Adam to hold back. "Back up Buddy."
"I'm not your buddy."
"Okay." He was breathing slowly, trying to resist the urge to reach across the table and punch the guy in the throat. "Listen. I know this is a shit situation. I didn't do this on purpose. I want to make the best of it for all of us."
"You are the big fucking superstar, the perfect man back from the dead." He snarled as he knocked back another shot. Adam tried to cut him off about four shots ago and that had probably precipitated this outburst. "All I hear about from Ollie is how fucking great you are. You fucking waltz in nine years later and everyone is gushing over how wonderful you are. Kim always treated you like a fucking god, and here you are like the fucking messiah."
"And you had seven fucking years with my son." He poked the table angrily with his finger to make a point. "Seven years. Why isn't he telling me how fucking wonderful you are?" He had pushed Adam's final button.
"At least I was here."
"And if I had been here, you and I wouldn't be having this conversation. You wouldn't have your daughter because I would have never let Kim go. It is what it is however and I am here now and we have to find a way to make this work."
"Why?" He pointed at he barman and ordered another shot, which promptly appeared. Adam tried to catch the barman's eye but he just shrugged and took his money from the pile on the corner of the table. Cash was cash; he didn't care where it came from. "Why should I make it easy for you?"
"I am not going anywhere."
Steve leant across the table, Adam had no idea if he thought he was being menacing or not but it took all his control not to laugh in his face. He'd sat across the table from scarier guys than this. This idiot didn't scare him; he was messing with the wrong guy. "You want to fuck her don't you?"
Adam rolled his shoulders; trying to ease some of the tension he felt building in his neck. "You know what? Yes. Is that what you want to hear?"
"At least your honest I will give you that."
"You asked, I answered. I didn't come back to ruin your marriage, you'd already done that apparently. I am not walking away from my son, just as I don't expect you to walk away from your daughter. That's all this is."
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He snarled. "A little instant family."
"No, actually I wouldn't. Trust me, I know what it's like to grow up having parents who couldn't deal with each other, couldn't even be in the same room."
"Oh yes, your fucking parents. I wanted to adopt the kid but she wouldn't upset your fucking parents." He sneered, his words slurring slightly. "Even though my parents are just as much a grandparent to that kid."
Adam ignored his drunk gibberish. "I'm just here to be a father to my son. I am not going to take your daughter away from you." He was seriously pissing him off the way he was talking about Oliver. He wasn't just 'the kid.'
"Just my wife."
"Kim's decisions are her own." He finished off the last of his beer and shook his head at the barman as he asked him if he wanted another. "I will tell you one thing for nothing, I won't stand back and let you hurt her." He'd left him at the bar knowing full well that conversation would come back and bite him sooner or later.
The house was in total darkness when Adam roared into the driveway, he knew this trip like the back of his hand now and made it in half the usual time. "Ollie, open up Buddy, it's me. Adam."
It was one gut punch after another. Ollie opened the door and he was in tears and looked terrified. He flung himself at Adam. "Dad."
"Hey Ollie. It's okay. I'm here." He stroked his head as it was buried in his stomach with his arms tightly wrapped around him and he could feel the terror coursing through him. It was the first time he had sought comfort from him and Adam didn't know what to feel and then he'd called him 'Dad' and that was the best word he'd ever heard.
"What's going on?"
"He was so mad, I don't know what I did. He knew I had practice and was getting home late, Mom told him. He told me I had to stay here, that he wasn't going to take me and then all the lights went out and I couldn't turn them back on." Ollie was terrified. Steve had been angry and yelling and screaming at him and Daisy was crying.
"Where's Daisy?" He adored his sister and was very protective of her and Adam really liked her too. She was a gorgeous little girl and Adam did care about her and what happened to her. The situation they were in was not ideal and he didn't want either of these kids to suffer but he wasn't stepping back from his son.
"He took her. She didn't want to go, she was crying and she was scared. I tried to stop him."
"Ollie, had he been drinking?"
"I don't know. I thought he was going to hit me again." He felt Ollie stiffen in his arms, knowing full well that he had said something he shouldn't have.
That spun Adam off in a whole new direction. "Again? When did he hit you?" He stepped back from Oliver a little and rested both his hands on his shoulders.
"Before you came back. Mom told him he had to leave after that." Ollie cried. "It wasn't my fault."
What the actual fuck!
There was a level of anger that Adam had no idea even existed in him and he had been down some pretty dark paths. "Okay. Of course it wasn't your fault." He tried to focus. "First things first. We need to get out of here, we will call your Mom and find Daisy." Steve had pulled the fuses out, plunging the house into darkness. Why the fuck would you do that to an eight-year-old boy? Leaving him alone in the house at night with no electricity was a low act. Yet the prick had hit his son so low acts were obviously not a new thing. He would deal with that later when he had a slightly more level head, if that was even possible.
He called Kim but it went to voice mail. 'Just letting you know that Ollie is with me and we are going to stay at my Dad's tonight. He's taken Daisy with him apparently. You need to call me ASAP.' The tone of his voice was hardly friendly but he was desperately trying not to lose his shit. They popped the fuses back in but Adam wasn't leaving him here anyway. There as no way he was leaving him now. He followed Oliver to his room and they grabbed a bag, shoved a few clothes in and he followed Adam out to his truck.
"Where is your bike?" Oliver loved the fact Adam rode a bike, like Kim said he would. They had always fascinated him but Kim still steadfastly refused to let Adam take him for a ride so he would just sit on it in the driveway or car park and ask him a million questions.
"At home, jump in." He tossed Ollie his bag and checked his phone one more time. Still nothing. He was well aware how these things went, Kim was working on a sting tonight, most of the team had an angle to work and a group to get on the in with and tonight she was working hers. It had reminded him of some of the cases that they used to work. He enjoyed listening to Kim talk about what they were up to; he missed that side of it. What it meant though was tonight she was un-contactable.
"Are you angry with me?" They had driven in silence for a few minutes.
"No Bud, I'm not angry with you." He ruffled his hair. "I am worried about you though. You okay?"
"Yeah." Pulling up to an intersection the streetlights illuminated the cab a little and he could see Ollie chewing on his bottom lip. For all his Adam like traits, he had some very Kim like ones as well. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I'm sorry I called you but I was scared. I didn't mean to call you Dad. It just came out."
Adam pulled the car over instantly and turned to face his son. "Oliver, you have no idea how happy that makes me."
"Yeah?"
"Since the moment I knew about you that's all I ever wanted to hear, that's all I want to be. Your Dad."
"You don't mind?"
"No I don't mind." He planted a kiss on his son's head. "I loved it. I really did."
"I'm scared Dad."
Adam swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. "I know Ollie." He squeezed his hand. "Let's get you back to Pop's and then we'll find Daisy ok and call your Mom again?"
As soon as he walked through the door he called Kim again. She still wasn't answering. He contemplated calling Atwater but knew that he had a night out planned; hence the million phone calls earlier. Joelle had taken the boys to her mother's for a couple of days so he was foot loose and fancy-free. He called Lindsay, who fortunately happened to be on shift and explained the situation with Daisy and her father. He just wanted to know that she was ok; it would put his mind to rest as well as Oliver's.
Bob had been more than happy to look after Ollie if Adam needed him too but he did not think it was a wise move to go chasing this guy all over Chicago, particularly as he seemed pretty pissed off and convinced him to let CPD deal with it. "If we can't find them then we will look at our next moves. Let's see what Lindsay finds out." Reluctantly Adam agreed and Oliver didn't want him to leave. He begged him to stay; everyone else had left him and he needed his Dad.
Lindsay checked it out and Daisy was with her father at his parent's house and unappreciative of the intrusion. "Oliver is safe, just so you know." She had lost the last ounce of sympathy she had for the guy. They had been on the same path for a while and could empathise with him and they had been friends for a long time but he was putting Oliver at risk and that was not on.
"Let me guess? His knight in shining armour swooped in to save the day."
"Oliver is safe." She was not getting sucked into this game he wanted to play.
Adam ordered pizza and he did his best to hold his temper in check as they watched an Ice Hockey game and he let Ollie fall asleep against him. He picked him up and put him into his bed. He liked that his family had been so involved with his life although the White Sox posters on the walls had to go. He'd deal with Atwater's whining about it.
He shook his head when his Dad offered him a beer; he wanted to stay clear headed for whatever else this night bought because he worried that it was not over. "You know," his Dad started. "He wasn't always like this. He was good guy and he took care of both of them. We were happy for Kim, she deserved to be happy and so was Oliver." Bob could see that Adam was stewing over something; something was eating away at him although that wasn't a completely unfamiliar sight lately, tonight he seemed angrier than usual and that surprised him because he was always happy with he was with Oliver.
"What happened?"
"Daisy happened, he lost his job and bummed around for a while. Kim finally told him he needed to get a job so he took a huge pay cut and demotion and he didn't handle it well." Bob wasn't sure how much Kim had told Adam about her marriage. "And then there was the adoption issue."
"What do you mean Daisy happened?" Kim refused to be drawn on the issue of Daisy. He obviously knew about the adoption fight and Steve had also made it clear that he wasn't happy about the whole adoption thing with Oliver. Kim would talk occasionally about Steve not being around for Oliver but not much else and Oliver would make the odd comment but he felt like Kim wasn't ready to let it be any of his concern so he let it go for the most part. It did play on his mind though, constantly.
"I guess Steve just loved her more, she was his child, Oliver wasn't especially once she said no to the adoption, Oliver didn't want it either so that didn't help." Bob chose his words carefully. "Oliver noticed it and started to act out and they spiralled down."
Adam leant forward and rested his elbows on his knees. They were bouncing up and down nervously and Bob just had to sit and wait until Adam was willing to spit out whatever was chewing at him. "Did you know Steve hit him?"
"Who? Steve hit Ollie. No, I doubt it. He's not like that."
"When I got to the house tonight Ollie told me he was scared that his Dad was going to hit him again."
"First I've heard of it. Kim wouldn't stand for it."
"I don't think she did, he said that's when Kim kicked him out and he hasn't been living there since." He could see his Dad working through things in his head. "What is it?" Adam knew the precise moment he figured it out.
"Ollie had a black eye, a month or so before we knew about you. We assumed it was from Baseball, wouldn't be the first kid to get a ball in the face." Bob was now picking at the label on his beer bottle and that familiar Ruzek temper was starting to fester in his gut. That bastard was lucky he didn't know about it because he would have knocked his block off. "It was around that time that Kim told us that she and Steve had split."
Adam was surprised when Oliver appeared from down the hallway. "I can't sleep. Have you heard from my Mom?" He asked quietly and Adam jumped up and indicated to his Dad that they were done with this conversation for now.
"Not yet Buddy, but hey I talked to Lindsay and Daisy is okay. She's at her Nan and Pappy's house and sound asleep like you should be."
"I miss Mom." Adam wrapped his arm around his shoulder and tried to reassure him. This was foreign territory for him and he was running on instinct and that instinct told him that Ollie needed someone's comforting arms and he was all he had right now. So he took him back to bed and lay down next to him. If this whole damn night hadn't been so fucked this would have been perfect. Laying next to him with his small body curled into him was his son and he'd called him 'Dad'.
It was late, almost 3am when she made it to Bob Ruzek's house. She had a key so that she could come in if she finished work late and the kids were staying here. He often had both of them overnight, especially since Steve had moved out and they loved staying at Grandpa's.
Kim pushed open the door to Oliver's room. Lindsay had called her and got her just as she turned her phone back on so he hadn't had the chance to listen to any of Adam's messages. "Kim there was an issue."
"What issue? Is it Oliver, Daisy?" She panicked.
"They are both fine, Daisy is with Steve's parents, he picked her up last night but he left Oliver behind." She had lost it over Daisy but Erin assured her that she was fine and safe.
"Where's Oliver?"
"With Adam."
"How? What the hell?" She listened to his messages and tried to call him but it went through to voice mail. He had turned the volume down low and thought he might hear it anyway, he didn't want to wake Ollie but slept through Kim's frantic call.
"My Boys." She whispered to herself, her heart skipping a few beats. Where had that come from? He wasn't hers; they hadn't talked about anything even close to defining their relationship. They were friends and Adam was learning about being a parent to an eight year old, there was a spark but that's all it could be.
It couldn't be anything else, could it?
She wasn't going to risk Oliver's relationship with his father for her own selfish needs. Her desire to feel him close to her, surrounding her, loving her, inside her one more time, no it was more than desire, it was almost a need but that was nowhere near as important as her son and his relationship with his father. Despite telling herself that multiple times she couldn't deny it, she needed to be loved by him again.
Neither of them stirred when she kicked off her shoes and lowered herself onto the bed, Oliver was wedged in between them and Adam's arm was protectively wrapped around their son. Kim slid a little closer and rested her hand lightly on Adam's hip.
"He called me Dad." Adam whispered in the dark.
