Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-Yasha or its characters. Rumiko Takahashi, as well as Viz owns it. I've said it, so don't sue. Blahblahblahblah. . . . . . .

A/N: I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to make this story appealing so that more people will read it. . . . It's REALLY hard to write a story based on humor, especially when you're originally not good at it. . .But thank you to those who reviewed and enjoyed it!! I'm glad it pleased you guys!! ^_^

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"Your move, Inu-Yasha."

The newly slaughtered duck was pinned up on the wall with Miroku's hand. He gave Inu-Yasha a stern look.

"I know you want to rid me of my cursed hand, but DON'T aim for it. It's the DUCK you're after."

"I know, I know. .."

Inu-Yasha grumbled as he picked up a handful of houchous. None of the group members had the heart to cut it directly, so they played it as a game of darts in order to cut it open.

"Here it goes. . ."

Inu-Yasha threw a shower of houchous, one missing Miroku's arm by an eyelash, and the rest digging into the wall by a hair away from the naked duck.

"Damn!"

"Inu-Yasha, STOP MISSING THE DUCK ON PURPOSE!!"

"I'm not woman!!"

He went over to the wall to pull out the houchous.

"Heehee. ..Inu-Yasha it sounds like you're constipating when you're trying to pull those knives out the wall. . .you throw too hard .. . ."

"Shuddup!!"

Shippo had been constantly making fun of him, and he had just about had enough. But with Kagome around, he couldn't even TOUCH him. Curse that woman. . .

"Let me give it a try."

Kagome stepped forward with another batch of houchous. She aimed, and her knives went flying like a flock of birds. . ..with no sense of direction. One flew diagonally at Miroku, nearly slicing his head open. Another went for Shippo on her left, and consequently pinned him to the wall. The other two went for Sango and Inu-Yasha, one digging into Sango's boomerang bone by an inch, and the other slamming into Inu-Yasha's stomach, luckily, handle first. He fell over and started off with a series of moans.

"Oooh, now he REALLY sounds like he's constipating. ."

"Shippo, just shut up. .."

"I believe he needs some CPR. ."

Miroku examined him carefully.

"Miroku! Kissy kissy!"

Miroku gave Shippo a glare.

"I'd rather not be reminded of the event, Shippo. Kagome-sama, a request that YOU do it."

"Oh, alright. . ."

Everyone seemed to be surprised that she had taken over the job, but their expressions changed as they saw her lift an airtank out of her immense backpack. All their thoughts went towards: oo, so THAT'S why her backpack's so big. . . She placed the pipe into Inu-Yasha's mouth, and began pumping air.

"Good heavens, I suggest you stop Kagome-sama, he looks like he's bloating!!"

"Alright."

"Shall I work on a forgetting spell so he'll have no remembrance of what occurred?"

"That will be fine, Miroku-sama."

Miroku placed a spell on the slightly bloated Inu-Yasha. His spell seemed to have worked.

"Oooh, I don't feel so good. .."

Kagome had a guilty look on her face.

"Uh. ..gas pills or laxatives?"

"Oh, shut up. .. "

"How about orange juice?"

"No. . ."

Kagome took his hands in hers and gazed at him.

"I hope you feel better soon. . ."

He blushed beet red and hid it all with a simple 'keh'. Then, there was a immense gust of wind inside the room, and an immense white boa appeared. It spoke with a deep voice.

"I've come, Inu-Yasha. . ."

They stared at the fluffy mound in front of them.

"Did I summon a cotton demon in my sleep last night?"

All he got was a series of shaking heads.

"Fool! It is I! You brother Sesshomaru!! And I've come to fight you!"

"Oh have you? Let's see your 'sautéing skills!!"

He withdrew his Tetsusaiga, and chucked a potato at him. His brother made a sweeping motion, letting the potato fall into neat cubes.

"I said SAUTE! NOT DICE!!"

"I don't give a damn!"

"Fine then! I'll show you!!"

He tossed another potato in the air, swinging the potato as it came to waist length. He held it up to behold, a smiley face carved in the middle!

"HA!! You can't do THAT can you?"

He received a smirk from Sesshomaru, and braced himself as he saw him take up a scallion. Five seconds passed, he threw the scallion at him. It was the mere image of a sickly man, dressed in a scallion leaf kimono and a Mohawk. It gave a meek smile.

"Looks just like you, sir artist. . ."

"Shut up. . .YOU try. . ."

"He slices! He dices! He serves sickly men!!"

"SHUT. UP!! You haven't seen my best attack yet!!"

He sunk himself into his boa, releasing a whole bunch of crunchy noises.

"I swear, he's gonna drown in that mound of fluff if he doesn't stop sticking it in the dryer everyday. . ."

A muffled voice from inside the boa screamed at him.

"SHUT. UP!"

He finally came up, breathlessly holding up an onion dressed in red potato peels. It supposedly was an image of Inu-Yasha.

"HA!!"

"HEY!!"

Inu-Yasha held up the bulky radish, throwing it up again and making a variety of movements with his Tetsusaiga. It appeared to carve out an image of Rin, the little girl Sesshomaru had been carrying around.

"Hope that look satisfies you Sesshy, I don't wanna insult your GIRLFRIEND!"

"BASTARD!!"

He charged straight at him, Inu-Yasha quickly dodging his attack. He hit the wall, cutting the duck open in a snap.

"Ewweee. . ."

The observers looked in disgust. Sesshomaru reached for a handful of rice, stuffing it up the duck's body. He chucked the corpse at Inu-Yasha, who again, dodged the attack. The duck landed as a heap on the floor. Sesshy then took up the remaining potato peels and flung them in his direction. With the dodge, the peels landed on the duck, covering it completely. With a piece of string from his boa, he took up a pair of scallions as numb- chucks. Inu-Yasha sautéed these in seconds, causing them to adorn the duck with a fantastic touch.

"Gee, not bad for a guy. . ."

Sango and Kagome observed Sesshy's skills as he battled. Miroku couldn't help feeling a hint of envy. The three of them could tell this demon brother was getting frustrated, and gasped when he clutched the two-hundred pound of rice by the handle.

"I've had enough of you twirp! You're SUCH a PEST!"

"I've had enough tag with that insane woman! I'm not gonna deal with you swinging a rice bag at me you mutt!"

Kagome growled at Inu-Yasha from he spot. It clearly said that she was going to lynch him after this fight. Sesshomaru gave a roar and charged. He flung the rice bag in every direction, stupidly and blindly. Inu-Yasha charged as well, but slipped right past him, clutching Sesshy's precious boa.

"NNO!!"

"HA!! I KNEW you'd fall for it!"

"THAT you're mistaken, little brother . . ."

The boa seemed to enlarge in size, and it enveloped Inu-Yasha completely. From inside, observers could hear muffled insults coming out.

"This smells like roses! What do you use? Cologne de Mutt?"

"NONE of YOUR business!"

Inu-Yasha popped his head out.

"Heh, looks like we don't have much to worry 'bout now. You've treated us to dinner!"

He grinned victoriously at the 'pre-made' duck, looking fabulous.

"Oh really? We'll see about THAT. . ."

He withdrew Tetsuseiga, the sword left for him by their shared father. With the sword he swung it at the duck, and behold, it rose! Live and well, but looking delicious.

"Quack?"

They stared dumbfoundedly.

"HA!! Enjoy your plate, monsieur. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!"

"Sesshomaru! I'll get you for this!! Remember I have your precious baby!! I'll cook this fluffy crap and you'll see how wrong you were! Come back you BASTARD!!"

Sesshy was already gone, and not much could be done.

"That jerk. . .Miroku. . .kill it will you?"

Miroku gave him a, 'oh no, not again?!' look, and went to do his chore with much complaint.

"So, I guess we're starting over. . ."



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WEIRD chapter, I know. . .I'm not too fond of it. . .I think it's just not as good, but just to get through this writer's block, I hope this'll do. But don't forget to R+R!! I appreciate it!!