"So.Are you going now?" Yuu asked. He poked his head into Miki's room. He
regarded her skirt. Miki was sitting on the bed, brushing her hair over her
face to add volume to her already thick hair.
"Too short," he said as he eyed her legs. Miki huffed.
"What are you talking about? Kara let me borrow this skirt and Meiko let me borrow this blouse, just for this special occasion, I can't waste it!"
Miki put the brush beside her and flipped up her hair. Yuu took in his breath. She didn't seem to be wearing a trace of make-up, but her jade eyes looked really, really pretty above her rosy cheeks. She was excited to see Shin, he could tell. He looked at Miki's light red blouse and her black skirt. Yuu looked into Miki's confused eyes and realized that he had been staring at her. He looked away. There was something very wrong with him nowadays. He could feel some strain on his moral esteem. He crossed his arms over his chest and completely entered the room. "You know," he began. "There's a world of perverts around there."
Miki continued to look in surprise. "Are you trying to tell me about Shin?"
Yuu wanted to say: 'Who else?' but he kept his mouth shut. She continued nonchalantly. "I don't think he's like that, Yuu."
"And how would you know?"
"Because. Because.He was so sincere, that's why!" Miki was suddenly angry and she felt annoyed, which affected Yuu's mood as well.
"Guys like that ALWAYS look sincere, even when they don't mean it!" Yuu said.
Miki looked wounded and hurt, then she stood up.
"I haven't had anyone care for me in a long time, Yuu!" she said loudly, but not enough to attract the ever-present parents. "So don't tell me what to do! I NEED someone like him to tell me that I'm actually important to him!"
"Well, there are other people."
"You mean those guys who aren't that handsome."
"I'M handsome!"
Yuu closed the door behind him as he entered the room. The doorbell in the den rang.
"That must be him," Miki said. She got up. She ignored the fact that Yuu was waiting to be acknowledged that he was standing in front of her. Yuu repeated: "I'M handsome!"
He blocked her path and towered over her. She tried to sidestep him, but he proved too quick. He repeated yet again: "I'm handsome!"
That was really stupid, but he somehow had the feeling that he had to give her a message, even if he himself wasn't really sure what he was trying to say. Miki shook her head, and then she looked at him. Hurt clouded her eyes, as if she thought he was mocking her.
"Yeah!" she shouted. "I know you're handsome, Yuu, I know that! It's just that you don't like me that way!" She saw Yuu's stricken face, and instinctively, her hands flew to her face. She then realized that she had started to cry. She began to stutter: "Err.I.I."
Yuu came towards her and tried to put his arm around her still shoulders, but she walked past him out the door with great dignity.
"Miki!" Yuu said loudly. But she was out the door.
***
Shin glanced at Miki. She was leaning her head against the window of his car. He noticed in a flash how tired she looked. She was just staring out the window- staring out the window at nothing but the passing shadows that were a blur. Shin had tried to start a conversation in the beginning, and Miki had been patronizing enough, laughing and talking at the right times, but they could both feel that it was strained.
Shin was almost thankful when the structure of the movie house loomed up. It was a large building, with yellow clay bricks and about a billion lights.
"We're here," he said to Miki. She nodded.
"Great."
Shin didn't say anything more as he turned off the ignition and he looked at her with some concern in his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders and stared for a while. She never looked back at him. She didn't become aware of him looking at her, but eventually she glanced at him.
"What, is there something on my face?" she asked him.
"No, no." Shin said. He pondered how to continue. "If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me."
Miki sighed, and then giggled. "Yuu. he had always said that I'm really terrible at hiding my emotions."
She seemed like she was really sorry for that small bit of information. Shin looked on ahead at the parking lot through his windshield. There were hardly any people around because they had decided to take the last full show. There were several lamp posts scattered around, and the moon shone above.
As he looked out, yellow light caught in his green eyes, and in his brown hair, along with just a tint of silver from the moon. He was handsome, and his features were sharply chiseled. Miki had been observing him and how much he looked so different from Yuu. There was something so otherworldly about Shin, as if he had come from a book rather than real life. Yuu had this down-to-earth appearance about him, like he knew what the world was about and still didn't care at all.
"Let's go," Miki said quietly.
Shin broke his thoughts and nodded. He got out and opened the door for her. Arm in arm, the walked to the movie house.
***
"I love you!!"
"I love you, too, honey!!"
"Never leave my side!!"
"I'll be here forever!!"
Yuu looked listlessly at the TV screen. It was almost eleven. The full show would have been almost ended. He planned to talk to Miki afterwards and to tell her that he liked her- maybe a whole lot, but maybe NOW wasn't such a great time to fall in love. And after Miki would laugh and think that he was joking, he would join in-to show that he was joking as well. Devil-may-care attitude. Never get attached.
Maybe I should drive over. Yuu thought. Then: Nah, it can wait.
"Why are you up so late?" a voice came behind him. At first, Yuu assumed that the noise was from the TV, but later on he realized that his mother was behind him. Looking back, he said:
"Oh, I'm just waiting for Miki."
His mother was taking off her apron, her dark brown eyes looking at him with interest, then there was a small light, looking as if she had just remembered a small bit of information.
"Oh, Miki?" she repeated.
"Yeah." Yuu's blond hair fell in front of his eyes when he gave a small bob of his head.
"She's going to Shin's house after the movie to get a CD that she let him borrow." Came the cheerful voice. "So don't wait up, she might come home a bit late. I think they're going to be listening to the tracks."
Yuu sprang out of the couch, knocking over the bowl of popcorn that had been in his lap.
"What?! Aren't you the least bit worried?!"
His mother was nonchalant. As usual, her cheery nature didn't think anything was wrong with coming over to a guy's house for a short while.
"Does Jin know about this?" Yuu asked in a strained voice, referring to Miki's father.
"Haha!" His mother said. "He never allows Miki to go anywhere with ANY guy, except if its with you. So naturally, when she brought up that she was going on a date, he tried to refuse but Miki won in the end. She didn't even have to explain what they were going to be doing, because he didn't want to listen." She gave another merry laugh.
"Come on, Yuu. Have a little faith in Miki. It's not like the two of them are going to make out in his room or anything."
Yuu was already feeling sick, not caring what anybody was saying. He was imagining the scenes unfold in Shin's house.
"My parents are out," Shin would say (Yuu supposed), gesturing with a suggestive hand to the door of his room.
"Really?" Miki would ask (Yuu supposed).
Then the two (Yuu supposed) would go up and the two would.
Yuu shook his head. Miki was better than that! She wasn't the type of girl who would go too fast for her own good.right? He remembered Miki that night. She was so pretty.so innocent and attractive at the same time. And that was from a guy who lived under the same roof as her! What more would Shin think?
He didn't bother with the popcorn on the floor. He mumbled something about cleaning it up later and dashed up his room. He got his coat. Grabbing his set of the keys, he dashed out. His mother had lent him a copy of the keys in case he needed the car. He already had a student's permit to drive.
"Mom, I'm going out now," he said. He didn't wait for an answer, but he was opening the door. His mother's voice trailed after him.
He thought for an instant that she was going to tell him that it was late and that he should stay inside, but instead, she only said: "It's cold outside. Bring your coat."
***
"That was a great movie!" Miki laughed, feeling great for the first time since the incident with Yuu. She punched Shin playfully on the arm.
"That part when the kid saved the world was so cool, don't you think?!" she was talking about the small kid who had taken a small crystal out of a cave wall and had eaten it. But the crystal had taken his life, because crystals weren't made to be eaten, after all. His dying words had been: "I want the world to be happy."
And his wish had come true, for the crystal he had eaten had been magical, and it granted him his final wish. Miki had cried in the end, while Shin was frantically choking back his laughter. He had put his arm around Miki. But she was in high spirits.
Shin flinched. "That part was corny," he said. Miki surprised him by laughing.
"Yeah right! You were crying! I saw you!"
Her green eyes danced in merriment, which made Shin's own green eyes to dance as well. But the weight of her words caught in his head, and his eyes boggled.
"Wha-! I wasn't crying at all!"
She smiled.
He looked ahead to the parking lot. A beige car was skimming in front of them. Shin waited for it to pass by, but to his surprise, the car stopped immediately in front of him, and the door opened.
Shin pushed Miki behind him a little and shoved her a bit with his shoulder. But it was only Yuu who came out the car. Shin didn't know what to say. Yuu jumped in front of him, a strange look in his eyes.
Miki had recognized the car to be the car of Yuu's mother and had wondered what was up, but as she had been walking forward, Shin had pushed her backwards a little. She now came up to stand in front of Yuu.
Yuu looked at her.
"You've been crying!" Yuu said accusingly. His hand flew to the side of her face. His brown eyes glowed with fierce protectiveness. Miki pulled away. Her own eyes held the same accusation.
"What did you do?!" Yuu fired at Shin. Miki cringed. Obviously Yuu was distraught that night.
"It was a MOVIE," Shin said. "She got emotional. What are you doing here anyway?"
Miki made a movement for Yuu to get out of her way. But try as she might, she just could not bring herself to look at Yuu's eyes. She couldn't explain it, but she had actually blurt out her feelings at him earlier. She could have kicked herself for doing so. How could she have been so stupid! Her face burned with anger at Yuu showing up for no reason at all and anger at herself for admitting that maybe she did have feelings for Yuu.
Her gaze was averted so she didn't see the hurt expressions on Yuu's face. Yuu grabbed her hand.
"Miki, look at me."
Miki lifted her eyes. But instead of hurt, there was nothing but annoyance and several shadows that were hidden.
Yuu sighed.
"Miki.We're going home now."
"Wait a minute," Shin said, interfering with the sober mood. Somehow, it was all so unrealistic, the occasional passing by of the movie house employees and the date and the girl and the made family member.
"She's going to pick up something at my house, buzz off. You're her BROTHER."
Yuu's eyes darkened. "You know I'm not her brother, you idiot."
Shin shrugged. "Whatever."
Yuu still held Miki's small hand in his big hands, and he held down the stare of Shin. They were both interrupted when Miki broke off.
"Can we go now?" Miki's voice was tired and drained. Her date took the cue. They both ignored Yuu as they walked forward. Yuu took a look at the two retreating figures. He saw: one strong figure of one of the most popular new students in his campus, a frail thin figure of Miki. Miki.
In his mind's eye, he saw the future.
First comes.love.
Then.comes.marriage.
Then.comes.the baby.in the.bay carriage.
AAAAGGGHHH!!! Screamed Yuu's mind in one of those rare moments when he started to panic. He rushed forward.
Miki had turned around to the sounds of a person running towards her. There was Yuu, his blond hair streaming under the harsh glow of the headlights. He had his jacket with him, but Miki could see that underneath he was wearing his nightclothes. Rubber shoes seemed unfitting. He was a relatively fast runner, and he reached them in no time.
He was a strange sight. Miki couldn't help but stare.
"Miks," Yuu said as he reached her. Miki's eyes narrowed. MIKS???? What kind of nickname was that? Since when did Yuu call her MIKS??!!
She had no time to ponder as Yuu looked straight into her face, his eyes steady, and he said:
"Miki, here it is, alright?! I don't like you at all, but Jin would kill me if I'd let someone like THAT-" he jerked a thumb at Shin- "marry you! Miki.you can get so much better!"
His voice was reasonable, even if his words were obviously a strange jumble just put together. Miki was stunned. Then her face was blank. Yuu started to have a hollow feel in his stomach. Was Miki going to scream at him again.?
But her next expression took the two by surprise, the silently standing date, and the desperately pleading guy.
"Yuu," Miki said softly. She put her right hand on his cheek. Her eyes held an unreadable emotion, fondness, hurt, surprise, there was something there just beyond Yuu's reach that he couldn't even begin to understand.
".I like Shin. You should understand that; now let me live my life. You are just a guy who happens to be living with me. Goodbye.Yuu."
That was a strange goodbye, a final one. Goodbye for what? For the fact that she wanted Yuu to leave her alone? Or good bye to the future that could have been but was taken away at the moment?
Even as Shin's car drove past the parking lot with Miki in the driver's seat, Yuu just stood there, like his shoes were glued to the ground. His cheek tingled where Miki had laid her hand, leaving him a reminder of her good bye.
At length, he looked up at the half moon. "Yeah. Bye, Miki."
"Too short," he said as he eyed her legs. Miki huffed.
"What are you talking about? Kara let me borrow this skirt and Meiko let me borrow this blouse, just for this special occasion, I can't waste it!"
Miki put the brush beside her and flipped up her hair. Yuu took in his breath. She didn't seem to be wearing a trace of make-up, but her jade eyes looked really, really pretty above her rosy cheeks. She was excited to see Shin, he could tell. He looked at Miki's light red blouse and her black skirt. Yuu looked into Miki's confused eyes and realized that he had been staring at her. He looked away. There was something very wrong with him nowadays. He could feel some strain on his moral esteem. He crossed his arms over his chest and completely entered the room. "You know," he began. "There's a world of perverts around there."
Miki continued to look in surprise. "Are you trying to tell me about Shin?"
Yuu wanted to say: 'Who else?' but he kept his mouth shut. She continued nonchalantly. "I don't think he's like that, Yuu."
"And how would you know?"
"Because. Because.He was so sincere, that's why!" Miki was suddenly angry and she felt annoyed, which affected Yuu's mood as well.
"Guys like that ALWAYS look sincere, even when they don't mean it!" Yuu said.
Miki looked wounded and hurt, then she stood up.
"I haven't had anyone care for me in a long time, Yuu!" she said loudly, but not enough to attract the ever-present parents. "So don't tell me what to do! I NEED someone like him to tell me that I'm actually important to him!"
"Well, there are other people."
"You mean those guys who aren't that handsome."
"I'M handsome!"
Yuu closed the door behind him as he entered the room. The doorbell in the den rang.
"That must be him," Miki said. She got up. She ignored the fact that Yuu was waiting to be acknowledged that he was standing in front of her. Yuu repeated: "I'M handsome!"
He blocked her path and towered over her. She tried to sidestep him, but he proved too quick. He repeated yet again: "I'm handsome!"
That was really stupid, but he somehow had the feeling that he had to give her a message, even if he himself wasn't really sure what he was trying to say. Miki shook her head, and then she looked at him. Hurt clouded her eyes, as if she thought he was mocking her.
"Yeah!" she shouted. "I know you're handsome, Yuu, I know that! It's just that you don't like me that way!" She saw Yuu's stricken face, and instinctively, her hands flew to her face. She then realized that she had started to cry. She began to stutter: "Err.I.I."
Yuu came towards her and tried to put his arm around her still shoulders, but she walked past him out the door with great dignity.
"Miki!" Yuu said loudly. But she was out the door.
***
Shin glanced at Miki. She was leaning her head against the window of his car. He noticed in a flash how tired she looked. She was just staring out the window- staring out the window at nothing but the passing shadows that were a blur. Shin had tried to start a conversation in the beginning, and Miki had been patronizing enough, laughing and talking at the right times, but they could both feel that it was strained.
Shin was almost thankful when the structure of the movie house loomed up. It was a large building, with yellow clay bricks and about a billion lights.
"We're here," he said to Miki. She nodded.
"Great."
Shin didn't say anything more as he turned off the ignition and he looked at her with some concern in his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders and stared for a while. She never looked back at him. She didn't become aware of him looking at her, but eventually she glanced at him.
"What, is there something on my face?" she asked him.
"No, no." Shin said. He pondered how to continue. "If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me."
Miki sighed, and then giggled. "Yuu. he had always said that I'm really terrible at hiding my emotions."
She seemed like she was really sorry for that small bit of information. Shin looked on ahead at the parking lot through his windshield. There were hardly any people around because they had decided to take the last full show. There were several lamp posts scattered around, and the moon shone above.
As he looked out, yellow light caught in his green eyes, and in his brown hair, along with just a tint of silver from the moon. He was handsome, and his features were sharply chiseled. Miki had been observing him and how much he looked so different from Yuu. There was something so otherworldly about Shin, as if he had come from a book rather than real life. Yuu had this down-to-earth appearance about him, like he knew what the world was about and still didn't care at all.
"Let's go," Miki said quietly.
Shin broke his thoughts and nodded. He got out and opened the door for her. Arm in arm, the walked to the movie house.
***
"I love you!!"
"I love you, too, honey!!"
"Never leave my side!!"
"I'll be here forever!!"
Yuu looked listlessly at the TV screen. It was almost eleven. The full show would have been almost ended. He planned to talk to Miki afterwards and to tell her that he liked her- maybe a whole lot, but maybe NOW wasn't such a great time to fall in love. And after Miki would laugh and think that he was joking, he would join in-to show that he was joking as well. Devil-may-care attitude. Never get attached.
Maybe I should drive over. Yuu thought. Then: Nah, it can wait.
"Why are you up so late?" a voice came behind him. At first, Yuu assumed that the noise was from the TV, but later on he realized that his mother was behind him. Looking back, he said:
"Oh, I'm just waiting for Miki."
His mother was taking off her apron, her dark brown eyes looking at him with interest, then there was a small light, looking as if she had just remembered a small bit of information.
"Oh, Miki?" she repeated.
"Yeah." Yuu's blond hair fell in front of his eyes when he gave a small bob of his head.
"She's going to Shin's house after the movie to get a CD that she let him borrow." Came the cheerful voice. "So don't wait up, she might come home a bit late. I think they're going to be listening to the tracks."
Yuu sprang out of the couch, knocking over the bowl of popcorn that had been in his lap.
"What?! Aren't you the least bit worried?!"
His mother was nonchalant. As usual, her cheery nature didn't think anything was wrong with coming over to a guy's house for a short while.
"Does Jin know about this?" Yuu asked in a strained voice, referring to Miki's father.
"Haha!" His mother said. "He never allows Miki to go anywhere with ANY guy, except if its with you. So naturally, when she brought up that she was going on a date, he tried to refuse but Miki won in the end. She didn't even have to explain what they were going to be doing, because he didn't want to listen." She gave another merry laugh.
"Come on, Yuu. Have a little faith in Miki. It's not like the two of them are going to make out in his room or anything."
Yuu was already feeling sick, not caring what anybody was saying. He was imagining the scenes unfold in Shin's house.
"My parents are out," Shin would say (Yuu supposed), gesturing with a suggestive hand to the door of his room.
"Really?" Miki would ask (Yuu supposed).
Then the two (Yuu supposed) would go up and the two would.
Yuu shook his head. Miki was better than that! She wasn't the type of girl who would go too fast for her own good.right? He remembered Miki that night. She was so pretty.so innocent and attractive at the same time. And that was from a guy who lived under the same roof as her! What more would Shin think?
He didn't bother with the popcorn on the floor. He mumbled something about cleaning it up later and dashed up his room. He got his coat. Grabbing his set of the keys, he dashed out. His mother had lent him a copy of the keys in case he needed the car. He already had a student's permit to drive.
"Mom, I'm going out now," he said. He didn't wait for an answer, but he was opening the door. His mother's voice trailed after him.
He thought for an instant that she was going to tell him that it was late and that he should stay inside, but instead, she only said: "It's cold outside. Bring your coat."
***
"That was a great movie!" Miki laughed, feeling great for the first time since the incident with Yuu. She punched Shin playfully on the arm.
"That part when the kid saved the world was so cool, don't you think?!" she was talking about the small kid who had taken a small crystal out of a cave wall and had eaten it. But the crystal had taken his life, because crystals weren't made to be eaten, after all. His dying words had been: "I want the world to be happy."
And his wish had come true, for the crystal he had eaten had been magical, and it granted him his final wish. Miki had cried in the end, while Shin was frantically choking back his laughter. He had put his arm around Miki. But she was in high spirits.
Shin flinched. "That part was corny," he said. Miki surprised him by laughing.
"Yeah right! You were crying! I saw you!"
Her green eyes danced in merriment, which made Shin's own green eyes to dance as well. But the weight of her words caught in his head, and his eyes boggled.
"Wha-! I wasn't crying at all!"
She smiled.
He looked ahead to the parking lot. A beige car was skimming in front of them. Shin waited for it to pass by, but to his surprise, the car stopped immediately in front of him, and the door opened.
Shin pushed Miki behind him a little and shoved her a bit with his shoulder. But it was only Yuu who came out the car. Shin didn't know what to say. Yuu jumped in front of him, a strange look in his eyes.
Miki had recognized the car to be the car of Yuu's mother and had wondered what was up, but as she had been walking forward, Shin had pushed her backwards a little. She now came up to stand in front of Yuu.
Yuu looked at her.
"You've been crying!" Yuu said accusingly. His hand flew to the side of her face. His brown eyes glowed with fierce protectiveness. Miki pulled away. Her own eyes held the same accusation.
"What did you do?!" Yuu fired at Shin. Miki cringed. Obviously Yuu was distraught that night.
"It was a MOVIE," Shin said. "She got emotional. What are you doing here anyway?"
Miki made a movement for Yuu to get out of her way. But try as she might, she just could not bring herself to look at Yuu's eyes. She couldn't explain it, but she had actually blurt out her feelings at him earlier. She could have kicked herself for doing so. How could she have been so stupid! Her face burned with anger at Yuu showing up for no reason at all and anger at herself for admitting that maybe she did have feelings for Yuu.
Her gaze was averted so she didn't see the hurt expressions on Yuu's face. Yuu grabbed her hand.
"Miki, look at me."
Miki lifted her eyes. But instead of hurt, there was nothing but annoyance and several shadows that were hidden.
Yuu sighed.
"Miki.We're going home now."
"Wait a minute," Shin said, interfering with the sober mood. Somehow, it was all so unrealistic, the occasional passing by of the movie house employees and the date and the girl and the made family member.
"She's going to pick up something at my house, buzz off. You're her BROTHER."
Yuu's eyes darkened. "You know I'm not her brother, you idiot."
Shin shrugged. "Whatever."
Yuu still held Miki's small hand in his big hands, and he held down the stare of Shin. They were both interrupted when Miki broke off.
"Can we go now?" Miki's voice was tired and drained. Her date took the cue. They both ignored Yuu as they walked forward. Yuu took a look at the two retreating figures. He saw: one strong figure of one of the most popular new students in his campus, a frail thin figure of Miki. Miki.
In his mind's eye, he saw the future.
First comes.love.
Then.comes.marriage.
Then.comes.the baby.in the.bay carriage.
AAAAGGGHHH!!! Screamed Yuu's mind in one of those rare moments when he started to panic. He rushed forward.
Miki had turned around to the sounds of a person running towards her. There was Yuu, his blond hair streaming under the harsh glow of the headlights. He had his jacket with him, but Miki could see that underneath he was wearing his nightclothes. Rubber shoes seemed unfitting. He was a relatively fast runner, and he reached them in no time.
He was a strange sight. Miki couldn't help but stare.
"Miks," Yuu said as he reached her. Miki's eyes narrowed. MIKS???? What kind of nickname was that? Since when did Yuu call her MIKS??!!
She had no time to ponder as Yuu looked straight into her face, his eyes steady, and he said:
"Miki, here it is, alright?! I don't like you at all, but Jin would kill me if I'd let someone like THAT-" he jerked a thumb at Shin- "marry you! Miki.you can get so much better!"
His voice was reasonable, even if his words were obviously a strange jumble just put together. Miki was stunned. Then her face was blank. Yuu started to have a hollow feel in his stomach. Was Miki going to scream at him again.?
But her next expression took the two by surprise, the silently standing date, and the desperately pleading guy.
"Yuu," Miki said softly. She put her right hand on his cheek. Her eyes held an unreadable emotion, fondness, hurt, surprise, there was something there just beyond Yuu's reach that he couldn't even begin to understand.
".I like Shin. You should understand that; now let me live my life. You are just a guy who happens to be living with me. Goodbye.Yuu."
That was a strange goodbye, a final one. Goodbye for what? For the fact that she wanted Yuu to leave her alone? Or good bye to the future that could have been but was taken away at the moment?
Even as Shin's car drove past the parking lot with Miki in the driver's seat, Yuu just stood there, like his shoes were glued to the ground. His cheek tingled where Miki had laid her hand, leaving him a reminder of her good bye.
At length, he looked up at the half moon. "Yeah. Bye, Miki."