The Gift

Chapter Three - A Confession and a Revelation

"Chandler?" Monica called as she entered the guys' apartment a few weeks later. Joey was nowhere to be found. Monica had noticed recently that he and Phoebe had been spending a lot of time together. Maybe they had gone out.

She forced herself to stop wondering about Joey and Phoebe and walked over to Chandler's bedroom door. She knocked lightly but, when there was no answer, slowly pushed the door open. Chandler was lying on his bed in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, staring up at the ceiling, oblivious to the world around him.

"Chandler? You okay?" Monica asked softly as she walked into the room.

He sat up quickly and Monica could see that he had been crying. His eyes were still wet from his tears, but he smiled at her. "I'm fine," he lied and moved over on the bed so she could sit down.

"You don't look fine," she said and reached over to wipe a single tear from his cheek. He immediately wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, obviously embarrassed to have been found in this state. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly. She'd never seen him like this.

"Nothing, Mon. I'm fine," he lied again.

"Chandler, I know you better than anyone, and I can tell that you're lying, so you might as well go ahead and tell me the truth."

"I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I guess. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis," he joked and smiled at her.

"Come on. It's got to be more than that. I don't think I've ever seen you like this, Chandler, and I've known you for half of my life."

"Well... Have you ever wanted something so much that it physically hurt because you couldn't have it?" She nodded, and he continued. "That's it. I keep trying to tell myself that it'll never happen, that I should stop thinking about it, but my brain, or my heart - one of those organs - just won't listen to reason."

"I know how you feel," she sighed. She reached over to put her arm around him and rub his back. "You'll be fine, sweetie."

"Thanks," he laughed lightly. "I feel like we should sit up all night painting our fingernails and having pillow fights in our pajamas now," he teased. "So... Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?"

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot," she responded. "Well... I know that my doctor's appointment is tomorrow afternoon, but I'm just too anxious. I bought a home pregnancy test, and I really want to take it, but I didn't want to do it unless you were okay with it."

He could see how much she wanted to do this, so he gave in. "All right. But please don't be disappointed if it's negative. These things aren't always accurate."

"I know," she smiled. "The test is in my bathroom. Come on over," she urged and led him across the hall.

"So how long do we have to wait?" Chandler called through the bathroom door a few minutes later.

"I haven't finished yet," she answered. "I can't do this with you standing outside the door. Go sit down," she ordered.

"Sorry," he said quietly and walked over to sit down on the couch.

A few minutes later, Monica returned from the bathroom and joined Chandler on the couch. "Three minutes," she said and felt him take her hand in his.

They sat in silence for the next three minutes until the timer Monica had set went off. "This is it," Monica said as she stood and walked toward the bathroom. "I can't do it, Chandler. You look. Please," she pleaded.

"Sure," he responded and walked into the bathroom to pick up the test from the sink. Monica was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. "Uh, Mon? What exactly am I looking for?" he asked.

"Two lines means I'm pregnant, one means I'm not," she answered.

"Well..." He put the test back on the sink and walked over to take her into his arms. "I guess that means we're having a baby," he whispered as he held her close to him.

She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. "Really? I'm pregnant?" she asked in total disbelief.

"Yeah. Look for yourself," he urged and reached over to the sink to pick up the test.

She took the test from him and stared at it. "I really am," she said quietly as the tears started to flow freely down her cheeks. "I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed.

"Congratulations," Chandler smiled at her. "You're gonna be a mom."

She returned his smile and wiped away a few of her tears. "Congratulations to you, too. You're gonna be a dad."

"Chandler Bing. A dad. Hard to believe, huh?" he teased and embraced her again. "Thank you. Thank you so much, Monica."

"No, thank you, Chandler."

"So... I guess we don't have to worry about doing it ourselves anymore, huh?" Chandler said after a few minutes had passed without either of them speaking. They were just standing there, right outside Monica's bathroom door, holding each other.

"Yeah, I guess not," Monica replied. She pulled away from him, took his hand, and led him over to the couch. "Chandler, about that. I -"

"No, Mon. You don't have to say anything. I never should have brought it up."

"It's not that. It's just that I think when I said no you might have taken it the wrong way... It's not that I don't find you attractive. I do. But it's you, you know?"

"Yeah. Never thought about me that way, right?"

"Exactly. How'd you know?" she asked.

"I just did," he smiled. "I kind of figured it out when you changed your mind so quickly that night."

"That's not all it is, Chandler. You..." She wasn't quite sure how to bring this up, but she knew that she had to. She had to know. "You said that you've wanted to make love to me for a long time," she said quietly.

"Right. Does that surprise you?"

"Of course it does. I hadn't expected to hear that from you."

"Monica, you're a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful woman. Any man in his right mind would want to make love to you."

"So that's it," she said quietly. "You just wanted to get me into bed."

"No, no, no," he quickly assured her. "It's more than that." He stopped, trying to find the right words to say what he knew he needed to say. "Remember earlier when I said that there was something that I wanted so badly it hurt?" She nodded. "I want you, Monica."

"What?" she asked, shocked. "You were crying for me?"

He simply nodded and took a deep breath. "We've been friends for years, but lately I've wondered if there could ever be more. And now, you're having my baby," he smiled and placed his hand over her stomach. "I know that we may never be together, but knowing that my child is also yours gives me a little something."

"Is that why you offered to have a baby with me?"

"Not really... When I made that offer fifteen years ago, I had no idea that it would actually happen. I was sure that you'd be happily married with a house full of kids by now."

"Yeah, me too," she laughed.

"But when I asked you again a few months ago, I did it because I wanted both of us to be happy. I knew that you wanted a baby, and I had finally realized that I did, too. The fact that I would be sharing the best part of my life with you just made it even better."

Monica just stared at him, amazed that she was actually hearing this from him. She'd always seen Chandler as her best friend. He was the guy who could make her laugh when she felt like crying. She'd never looked at him as a romantic man, but he certainly sounded like one at the moment. "You're so sweet," she finally said and hugged him tightly.

"Yeah, I know," he teased. "It's pretty late. I guess I should just go and let you get your rest. You are sleeping for two now," he smiled and kissed her cheek when he stood to leave.

"Chandler, don't go," she said, taking his hand and pulling him back onto the couch with her. "I don't want to be alone right now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah... I want you to be here. I just found out that I'm having your baby. I want to spend a little more time with you," she smiled.

"Okay," he said and pulled her into his arms. "I can't believe you're having my baby," he whispered.

"Pretty incredible, isn't it?" Monica replied quietly. "I was starting to wonder if I would ever have this feeling."

"What feeling?" Chandler asked.

"The feeling of knowing that there's another life growing inside of me."

He just smiled to himself and hugged her a little tighter. "You're an incredible woman, Monica Geller," he said quietly and kissed the top of her head.

"You're not so bad yourself, Chandler Bing," she whispered in reply. "Chandler?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay here tonight? I just... I want you to hold me." She wasn't sure if this was the best idea since he'd confessed his feelings for her just minutes ago, but she knew that she wanted to be close to him. She needed him to be there for her, just like he'd been there so many times before.

"Anything you want, Mon," he answered, unable to say no to her.

"Thank you." She got up from the couch and kissed his forehead. "I'm just gonna change. Be right back," she said before retreating to her bedroom.

When she closed the door behind her, Chandler leaned back against the couch and sighed loudly. He knew that every second he spent with her just made it harder for him to admit to himself that he couldn't have her. She'd never really want him - not in that way. But, for now, he'd have to settle for being the father of her child. If one could call that settling. He smiled to himself, imagining what the baby would look like. He hoped that it had her eyes. He loved her eyes.

Monica opened the bedroom door, dressed in her pajamas, and walked over to Chandler. She took his hand as he stood up. "Chandler, if you don't want to stay, you don't have to. If you're uncomfortable with this, I -"

"I want to, Monica," he reassured her. "You're having my baby. I'd do anything for you."

She smiled at him. "Yeah, but I don't want you to stay just because I'm needy. I'll be fine by myself."

"Come on, Monica. Let's go to bed," he smiled and allowed her to lead him to her bedroom.

She crawled under the covers and made room for him on the other side of the bed. He laid on top of the blankets and reached over to put his hand on her stomach.

"Get under the covers, Chandler. You'll freeze to death," she warned.

"No, I'm fine," he replied.

"Come on. I trust you not to make a move on the pregnant lady beside you," she teased and helped him pull the blankets back.

"There's a pregnant lady in here?" he teased and crawled under the covers.

"I certainly hope so." Suddenly, Monica realized something important. "Chandler, what if the test was wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"It's not. I have a good feeling about this, Monica. You're definitely pregnant," he tried to convince her.

"Yeah... Pregnant..."