Author: Lady Yuskreven.
Pairing: Seifer and Squall
Warning: use of bad words! Not too frequently, though.^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Squaresoft does, or so I think, and I'm not that good in writing song soooooo the song not belong to me either. "^_^"
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One step closer.
Silence reigned on Balamb plains, slightly lighted by the moon. Only the wind playing with the grass gave some kind of life to the scene below. He could still hear some music coming from the ball, but everything other than that was peaceful.
It was all he wanted. Some quiet place to think. He needed to be alone for now.
It wasn't the fact Keith had just kissed Nida in front of Squall, making sure everyone would see them. Well, maybe it was a little. But he really needed to think. Thing were going too far quickly for him. Since the Ultimecia thing, Cid gave him the headmaster title, and as nobody had the quality required for it, he was still the commander of Balamb Garden.
It was too much for him to bear, too much weight on his shoulders, too many people to lead and think about. He always had hated being in charge, to have to think about other people. Hell, he had enough with his own life, let alone the others!
"Hum Squall?"
Great. Who in hell would that be this time? Quistis, with her motherly attitude? Or Selphie? Or Zell, wondering if everything was fine but not trying to understand him
I can't take this anymore
I'm saying everything I said before
All those words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
The less I heard the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Nobody ever listened to what he'll say. They all had their opinion about him. About how strong he was, how good he was, how whatever he was.
The truth was they got all wrong about him. He wasn't really strong, nor good. He was just acting as he was supposed to. As everyone expected him to.
Just like before
"Squall? Can I talk to you?"
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breath
Cuz I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
Why people couldn't leave him alone? Only five minutes alone would be too much to ask?! Five little minutes alone. Five minute by himself, for himself. Will he ever be able to find some peace?
Squall this, Squall that Why always asking him? He wasn't the centre of the world for Hyne'sake! He didn't have the universal knowledge!
"So why asking me? I'd just want to be alone" Squall muttered.
"Excuse me?"
"Once for all, whatever you're gonna ask, keep it for you. I don't have the mind to think about other people's fucking problems."
"Squall, I"
He turned toward the door, plainly upset by the man's insistence. Lights coming from inside preventing him to see whom it was but he didn't mind.
"Listen. If you want help, go ask somebody else. I"
"Squall, I don't need your help. I just wanted to talk with you."
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
"It's better to be important." Squall crossed his arms on his chest. The man didn't move, but seemed to think about a way to begin. He sighed before adding.
"I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you."
What?
This man was it Keith? He was tall and wore a Seed uniform. He couldn't recognize him because of the lights. He seemed to be drunk. Maybe he wanted to apologize about leaving Squall. Maybe he was asking for a new chance.
"Keith? Is that you? Listen. You and me, forget it. It's finish. I ain't gonna"
The man sighed, taking a step forward Squall. Thank to the moonlight, Squall was able to see Seifer's face. For one moment, he found it was the most perfect face he'd ever seen. But there was something in his eyes, regret? Pain?
Squall tried to stay as emotionless as possible, not showing any concern to the blonde.
"What do you want, Almasy?"
The blonde looked at the floor, sadness flashing on his face at the roughness of Squall's statement.
"As I said before, I want to talk to you."
"So go on."
Squall saw anger rising in Seifer's eyes and mentally made a note to stop being so rude. Seifer was drunk, so more dangerous than usual. Push him too far wouldn't be good. Or maybe it would be.
Squall was thinking about death a lot since all this shit happened. But he couldn't resolve himself to take off his life.
[You love your friend so much
That you want to die
But you love them too much
To hurt them with your death]
Squall closed his eyes and sighed. What to do now He looked back at the tall man who was waiting for him to continue. What he did when he saw Squall's eyes staring at him. It didn't make him feel at ease, but Seifer felt the need to pour his heart out.
"I I'm sorry for the things I've done to you. I"
Oh god. Another "I'm sorry for everything" scene. Squall had already forgiven Seifer how many times now? He didn't remember.
"Seifer. I've already forgiven you for that. You were under Ultimecia influence and dadada, we don't have to come back to this, it's finish so you don't have to beg my pardon anymore."
The tall blonde smirked, an amused look on his face.
"Squall. Do you even think about how you're talking? You're talking to me like the other talk to you. You don't even give me the chance to fully say what I want to say!" shouted seifer, whose anger continued to grow. "Stop assuming what I am and what I'm not and listen to me."
Just like before
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breath
Cuz I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
"What? Seifer, you're drunk"
"Only for once, Squall, shut up and listen to me. I've been hiding this for too long and I need you to listen. Give me just five minute of your so precious time, okay?"
Squall couldn't even reply to that, entirely silenced by Seifer's attitude. He always had a low baritone speaking like the arrogant bully he was. But tonight, it wasn't arrogance It was like a pleading? Seifer came closer, his eyes never leaving the floor. He took Squall's hand in his, then, much to Squall's surprise, he kissed him.
Squall jolted back, eyes wide open, a hand over his mouth. Seifer only sighed, before looking at Squall straight in his grey eyes.
"Wha What the hell was that?" was the only thing that came in the brunette's mind.
"Squall. I I wanted to told you so many years ago I I love you, Squall. I always had, and always will. I don't expect you to feel the same way. I just wanted you to know it. I realised a long time ago that I had to tell you, before loosing you forever. But I never had the guts to do so."
"So why now?" Too many thoughts were bustled in his mind.
"Because I saw your pain when Keith pulled Nida into a kiss. I saw your tears, in and out, I felt a new shell pull around you. And all I wanted was to hold you, to reassure you, to make you forget all the pain you felt."
Squall narrowed his eyes. Seifer bitted his lower lip; he was about to continue but Squall cut him off.
"So that's why Are you that drunk? Or maybe that stupid? You really thought I couldn't see clearly in your little game? All you want is to fuck me, huh? Take advantage of the fact Keith just left me You're still the same bastard as always. You, Seifer Almasy, your only desire is to surpass me, to prove you're better than me. For a moment I though you've changed. But no. You're still this little boy who can't stand to be in second place! Now listen to me, Seifer. I don't have any time to waste with your fucking superiority complex, so now fuck off, okay?!"
Seifer was taken aback.
"Squall Wait it's not"
"Shut up Almasy!!"
Shut up when I'm talkin' to you
Shut up, shut up, shut up
Squall hurried himself toward the door, passing Seifer without glancing back at him. Why things always have to be like that? Why couldn't he be happy? There was always something turning wrong. What had he done to Hyne to merit such a life?
Shut up shut up shut up
He walked to the garage where was waiting the Viper Laguna offered him for his birthday. He never found any use in that car, not like Keith who enjoyed driving it around, and mostly to the supermarket to spend Squall's money.
But tonight was different. He needed to go far away from that place.
I'm about to break
He opened the car's door and jump in it, opening the garage's door on the way. As he was turning the key, he heard Seifer calling for him.
Too late Seifer.
The car roared toward the exit when Seifer arrived. Deep in his mind, he knew something bad was going to happen. With no second thought, he jumped on the motorcycle next to him and followed the red car in the dark night.
Tears were falling freely on Squall's cheeks. He didn't mind anymore. He didn't mind about anything anymore. His thoughts were turning on themselves, like an enormous whirlwind. Thoughts about his childhood, his life, the ones he put his trust in but who left him nonetheless
Just like before
He thought of Seifer's speech again. Why does people always have to do that to him? Take advantage of his weakness?
It hurt so much
So why?
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breath
Cuz I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
The motorcycle was in his full speed, but it wasn't fast enough to Seifer's taste. He was still to far away from the car. He needed to reach it. He had to reach it before
Not so far away before him, Seifer saw a burst of fire enlighten the night, followed by a loud explosion noise. Seifer stopped the motorcycle, eyes widening in shock looking at what used to be a beautiful new red Viper, crashed in a wall of Balamb city. Only one word was able to come out of his mouth.
"SQUALL!!!"
The end.
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You did believed me? ^_^ Hope not cause I'd like to write the REAL end of this fic using "Eyes like yours (Ojos asi)" by Shakira.
But I leave you the choice! So
Game Over
-Or
Continue?