Um...not quite sure how to explain this chapter. When I was writing the notes to this, the only thing I put under this was: Training begins. Work this out. And suddenly I've got this small prank war going on between Jem, Duo, and Quatre and Wufei and Heero. Also, a small cameo appearance by the gang from Ranma 1/2, courtesy of Sarah's suggestion when I was coming up with a prank for Jem and the gang to play on Wufei.
Weird, if you asked me. I'm not typically the prankster, but this time it was too perfect. This is the part of the story that Sarah told you about, Ctarl Angel, so take a look!
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or Ranma 1/2, nor do I make any money from this.
Orbs of Emerald
Chapter 5: Training and Pranks
***
"That all you got?!" I shouted tauntingly at Heero. Training had begun at six, just as my new "instructor" had implied. When I had informed him of my street-fighting background, he had suggested a spar against the Perfect Soldier after his training session. No problem with me, I enjoyed the challenge. Though I do wish he'd stop holding back. This was even easier than fighting Jonathon!
Heero merely grunted and fell back into a defensive stance. But I knew better than to rush into things. He had laid a trap in his defense, I knew this. I only needed to find it. Jon had told me that the most important thing to think about when fighting a skilled fighter was to look for his weak spot and his traps and exploit them to your advantage.
"Thanks, bro," I sneered at Heero, studying him. His weak spot in this stance was obviously his back and his knees, but there was a trap laid in his feet. If I tried to go left, as I often did, I'd get creamed by his left foot. But if I went right, I could probably fall him with a sweep, but it was a question of whether he was expecting something like that or not.
Probably the latter, because he had underestimated me several times already that day in different things. He had expected me to only run a mile to start, but I'd run three in the same time he had set for a mile. He'd expected only ten push-ups, but he'd gotten fifty. He'd expected thirty sit-ups, but he'd gotten eighty.
The others had decided to divide up the "training" into different hour groupings in the day. Heero had me for the second "shift". After the hand-to-hand combat training was completed, he was supposed to begin teaching me how to drive. I didn't know how because I never had a vehicle to learn in.
Wufei had taught me earlier, mostly about the codes the five had to learn since they were young. Justice, honor, strength, heart, mind, soul, body, spirit, countenance, resistance...so many things. And I had to learn it all in a fraction of the time the five boys had been given. But I was up to the challenge. And I was ready.
I decided finally that he wouldn't expect a sudden and risky attack like that and charged, seemingly like I didn't have one clue as to what I was doing and just throwing myself into the battle without thinking. His eyes lowered, studying me mirthfully. No smile, no smirk, but a ruthless and cunning look of satisfaction in his eyes were all that I needed. He did not know what I was planning.
At the very last second, I dropped, bringing my right leg out and sweeping him. He fell for my trick like a rock, and fell to the ground like one too. He stood up slowly, looking slightly dazed. I gave him a half-hearted wave of a girlish nature from under my chin and a sweet smile speaking only of my own mirth.
"You deceived me," he said, his monotone in full swing.
"Duh," I teased. "You really shouldn't underestimate me, Perfect Soldier, or you won't live up to your nickname anymore. Beaten by a poor, 'defenseless', 'weak' little girl." I clucked my tongue in mock shame toward him, then smiled brightly. "So, maybe we oughta get going on the driving part of this."
By lunchtime, I knew how to drive any kind of vehicle that had a motor inside it, knew how to defend myself, knew how to identify over twenty different kinds of guns, and how to hack into the most basic of passwords. A pretty impressive list of new qualities, considering it had only been seven hours.
Of course, by that time, my mind was fried and my hands and feet were unable to make more than the most basic robotic movements. Quatre and Duo would be my "teachers" after lunch was over, thank my lucky stars. Or so I thought.
"Sit down, take a load off," Duo suggested as soon as my sweat-drenched person entered the living room. Quatre was making lunch.
"Don't mind if I do," I smiled and took a seat beside him on the large couch. "So what'll you be torturing me with, Maxwell?" He chuckled and sat up, wincing ever so slightly as he did so. His head still bothered him, but he was getting back to being his normal self.
"Actually, I don't know," he answered. "I should be teaching you how to pilot different space crafts, but I can't get out in space without my head going through the roof, and then we'd lose all our air pressure."
"That would be bad," I said seriously, nodding as though it weren't a joke. He laughed again.
"Well...hmm...do you know how to swim?"
"Is this a trick question?" I asked, scared. I didn't want them finding out I couldn't swim!!
"No, it is a very simple one," Heero answered, sitting down beside me as well. His eyes held the most basic amount of mirth within them as he unknowingly teased me about my lack of skills in the water. "If you cannot swim, it is a good idea to let him teach you." My eyebrows drew together and a scowl crossed my lips.
"And what does that mean?" I was ignoring the question, I knew, but still, he made me so mad, I almost thought of challenging him to another spar right then and there. But my muscles reminded me it was not a very good idea.
"That you don't know how to swim," Heero answered, amusement in his eyes. His face still remained cold and lifeless, like an extremely well-animated robot.
"So what?!" I screeched. "Is that a crime?? I never lived near any large bodies of water, how was I supposed to learn?"
"Don't worry about it, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Duo chuckled beside me merrily, as though the whole thing were a joke. Right. Nothing to be ashamed of, uh huh. The look on Heero's face told me that if he were a normal human being, he'd be laughing his head off right about now, because his eyebrows were shot up about a centimeter and the corner of his left lip was curled about a quarter of a nanometer. He was smirking, a very, very small smirk, but still, it was better than nothing at all from the Perfect Soldier.
"Um...Duo?" I said, realizing something for the first time. "I don't have a suit to go swimming in the first place."
"Don't worry about that," Quatre smiled as he entered the room. He looked sort of sheepish as he explained. "Dinner sort of burned, so we'll have to go to the mall at Colony 1024. We can pick up some clothes for you while we're there."
"But Quatre, I don't have any money," I protested. I did not want to go to the mall. I hated shopping almost as much as I hated fashion and cheerleading. It truly amazed me that with all the fighting that had been going on these past few centuries, girls still found ways to cheerlead and boys still found ways to play sports.
"Didn't you know?" Duo asked, laughing again. I could see tears at the corners of his eyes, even. "Quatre's the heir to the Winner fortune! He's a billionaire! A few clothes won't even put a dent in his account." I blinked several times in shock. Now why didn't I see that before? He owned a private colony with his own space port and several different kinds of space crafts and supported four of his friends, now five, and I hadn't seen the fact that he was rich?
"You sure about this?" I asked, being polite and blunt at the same time. I knew that he could afford it, but still...
"Yeah, of course I'm sure," he smiled again. "Don't worry about it." I smiled weakly, then nodded my consent. What else could I do?
***
"I knew this was a bad idea," I muttered under my breath as we headed into another shop. Who knew the Winner guy was such a shopper? The guy was sharp on comfortable clothes and places to get them, that was for certain. So far, I had three training outfits, a lounging outfit, several pairs of blue jeans and so many T-shirts I couldn't count them all. Now we were finally getting precisely what started this little hell of mine: a swimming suit.
"Why did I have to encourage him?" Duo moaned beside me, quiet enough the blond boy didn't hear him, but loud enough that I could. Luckily, we'd left Heero and Wufei in the eatery, where they had still been eating.
"Yes, that's precisely my question," I whispered to him. He grimaced and shrugged, grinning his head off. Looking at his hair, I sighed and spoke in my normal voice. "You need a haircut. At least a trim. You've got split ends like mad. Speaking of which...so do I." I moaned, seeing the tips of my brown hair. Why did they split like that? Why?
"We can do that right after we get you both a new swim suit," Quatre said up ahead a little. He turned back and smiled. "It's not often we come into the mall, so it's a good idea to do it now." I nodded, smiling, but scowled when he turned back around. Great. Now we had another stop to make before going back on the Shield, the ship we'd washed in on, so to speak.
The Beach store we came out of minutes later had been the fastest store in the whole mall. True to his word, Quatre had gotten us both new swim suits, mine a modest blue two-piece, Duo's a long pair of dark blue trunks. (AN-Imagine if Trunks were here in his trunks...that'd be one sweet sight. ^_^;)
When we reached the salon, I saw an advertisement for colored contact lenses in the window. It was then that I had an awful, evil, but incredibly hilarious idea. It was so terrible, I couldn't believe my normally-prank-deprived brain had come up with it.
"Hey, Quatre...what do you say we give Perfect Soldier a little fright when he finds us...hmm?" I raised my eyebrows daringly and pointed at the sign. His eyes widened substantially, then he nodded.
"What? What is it?" Duo cried. "What are you two planning?"
We explained it to the braided baka and began our plotting in a huddled triangle, discussing different possibilities and methods. Finally, we had it. Calling over a salon mistress, our hard-worked plan was put into solid action.
***
Heero and Wufei had both finished their lunches and had gone their separate ways. Both boys
were full and satisfied and wanted to go home before they were recognized by the enemy. They had split up, one headed to the east side of the mall, the other to the west. Heero just had the bad luck of getting the west side, where Jem, Duo, and Quatre were plotting their unpleasant scheme to be played upon himself and Wufei soon enough. He was unaware of the other patrons who passed him by, but this soon changed.
"Johnny!" screeched a girl's high-pitched voice. "Johnny Marrell Guno, you get your rear back here this instant!" Suddenly, he found himself in the angry clutches of a wild woman. She had grabbed his ear, but he could still see her perfectly. She wore an extremely short red dress, showing more than half of her thigh and a good deal of her neck and back with its halter-like top.
"Ma'am, I'm not-"
"Don't you talk back to your aunt, Johnny Marrell," she screeched, shoving him onto a nearby bench, nearly tearing his left ear off. She put her fists on her hips and glared at him with fiery blue eyes. "I've been looking for you everywhere and don't give me that 'I was looking at the games gig', I know you were in that Hot Topic shop again, Johnny."
"Look," Heero growled angrily, his face heating up at this woman's words. "I am not-"
"You dare talk back to me, Johnny?!" the woman screeched again. "There is no dodging and kicking me around, you slick dog! I'll have you know that if your father ever knew what kind of disobedient brat you've become, why, he'd slit your throat himself! My word, if I ever..." The woman, with her blue eyes and brown hair, continued berating him, calling him different names and such, but he sat there, steaming in his own stew. Why was this woman behaving like this? It was obvious that there was no arguing with her.
"You stay right there, Johnny Marrell Guno, because I swear to high heaven if I find you gone, your hind parts will be lit up like a Christmas tree!" with that, the woman marched off, her hips waving smoothly back and forth. She looked actually quite beautiful, and very familiar even with her back to him. Her short brown hair was tied back in a small ponytail and a small amount was put into two side ponytails.
His only thought as he stood up again, brushing himself off, was that if Wufei had something like that happen to him, he'd have a great deal more respect for women. Especially Jem, as she did not seem the loud-mouthed, shrieking-at-the-top-of-her-lungs type of girl. Although, she did have the womanly curves that made her seem better than that woman.
"I hope to high heaven I don't ever see that woman again," he muttered under his breath and continued his search for Jem, Duo, and Quatre.
***
We were laughing so hard, I thought my sides were going to explode. I had long since changed out of that extremely short dress and had wiped off all the make-up and was back into my blue jeans and T-shirt. We had tossed the dress, along with the high-heeled shoes, into a garbage can and were stuffing the recorded video in among the clothes. I had taken off the wig and was furiously trying to erase the evidence of the bun I'd put it in to allow the wig to stay. I wasn't making much progress, because there were small ribs in the bits of hair where they had once been.
"It was so funny, you should have seen his face when you grabbed him by the ear," Duo crowed, slapping his knee in roaring laughter. "It was just hilarious! And then he called you 'ma'am', the boy really thought you were some mistaken aunt of a kid named Johnny!"
"Where did you come up with that name, anyway?" Quatre asked, chuckling into his hand.
"Johnny was an old neighbor of ours who was always causing mischief," I laughed even as I explained. "Marrell was the name of the town we were born in. Guno was made up from gun then adding o. Ingenious, if I do say so myself."
"What are we going to do to Wufei? He's on the other side of the mall," Duo asked, wiping tears from his eyes. I gave it some thought, and an evil grin crossed my face.
"I got the perfect idea..." we huddled again and separated seconds later to ensue our new course of action...
***
Wufei scowled as he glanced around another department store, seeing not one sign of any of his companions. He exited the shop, still angry that he hadn't found anyone and wondered fleetingly if Heero had found them.
"Excuse me, sir?" asked a young, timid-looking young woman with blue eyes and black hair. She wore half-moon glasses and a modest dress. She was very pretty, but this thought was immediately shot down and burned to a crisp in his mind.
"Yeah?" He asked, turning to regard her easier.
"I was wondering if you knew where Sears was, sir," she said, very tentative. "My little sister's fiance said he was headed there and I am new to this colony."
"Yes, it is that way," Wufei pointed in the direction she should go. "Do you need any help?"
"That would be most helpful," she smiled shyly.
"AHHH!!!" a lone scream echoed down the wide walls of the mall. Wufei immediately leapt into a defense stance, but the girl took off running. Wufei stole after her, wondering what the heck she was doing. She was a girl, she shouldn't be running toward danger!
"Hey!" he called after her. "Where are you going?!"
"That was him!" she called back. "He's in trouble again!"
"Again?" Wufei raced after her, surprised at how fast and how nimbly she could run. It was almost as if she were flying compared to a tricycle in him. He ran faster, but only became a car in comparison to her SR-71 Blackbird speed (AN-That thing can go Mach 4 at cruising speed! The fastest car can only go 210 mph...uh...anyone know how many mph are in a Mach?). Her speed was definitely impressive, especially for a girl.
"Ranma!" she yelled up toward a young girl who was cowering in a fountain. "Ranma, are you okay?"
"That's your sister's fiance?" Wufei asked, confused. "Are you sure you didn't mean brother?"
"Hey!" protested the sopping-wet girl in the pool. She hopped out of the pool and stood in a Kenpo Karate fighting stance. Chinese, Wufei nodded in approval. "I am not going to marry her, understand? It was my father's idea and I'm not getting dragged into it."
"Ranma, perhaps you should-"
"No, I'm fine, Nabiki," Ranma called to the girl. "I'm just slightly tired is all." She still remained in the stance, glaring at Wufei, not once glancing at her friend.
"But Ranma-"
"Not now, Nabiki!" Ranma said through gritted teeth.
"You should listen to your friend," Wufei said, smirking as he turned around and began to start his search for the others again. "You girls are weak."
"What did you say?!" shouted Ranma, Nabiki, and another girl Wufei did not know. The three cornered him angrily before he could utter another peep.
"Nobody but nobody says girls are weak in front of Akane!" shouted the unknown girl, whom Wufei supposed was called Akane.
The girls proceeded to beat the *ahem* out of Wufei.
***
"Maybe we should help him?" I asked the others, a mirthful smirk upon my face. "I mean, this is much better than what we planned, but still, I don't want him to be totally peeved when we have to start training again tomorrow."
"I agree," Quatre said, still holding the recorder in his hand. "You guys go on ahead, I'll keep taping it."
"Good idea," Duo laughed with a nod. "At least we'll be able to see Wufei get his butt kicked by girls. It's too funny!"
"Excuse me, was that supposed to imply what I think it did?" my eyes held warning in them as I glared slightly at Duo.
"No, no, it's just that, you know," his arms were waving madly, then went behind his head in embarrassed laughter. "With his views on girls and stuff, well, it's sort of-"
"-ironic," I finished, seeing his meaning crystal-clear now. "I agree. Come on, before he gets too badly beaten."
"Yeah." Duo followed me as I stole into a hall.
"Hey, hey, girls, girls!" I cried as though I were just running onto the scene. "Look, he didn't really mean it, he's just the comedian type, ya know, really sarcastic-funny type guy... heh, heh, sorry about that."
"You with this jerk?" the girl called Akane lifted Wufei up by his lower ponytail while Ranma and Nabiki held his arms to his sides. I fought the urge to laugh at his obviously-hurt face and his scowl, but failed.
"Yeah, we are," Duo said, laughing. "Sorry about that, girls, could I buy you some coffee to make it up to you?"
"Duo, don't flirt, they're already mad at one guy today," I growled at him. "Come on, we've got to get back to our training." I turned back to the three girls, who were all looking very surprised.
"I am terribly sorry about him," I apologized again. "He's not a very manner-some person, if ya know what I mean."
"Jem-" Wufei warned me, but Akane yanked his ponytail roughly, cutting him off.
"And besides that, he's my teacher, and I don't really like him when he's in a bad mood," I said brightly.
"Teacher?" Ranma dropped the left arm carefully. "As in martial arts teacher?"
"Yeah," I smirked, crossing my arms over my chest. "Would you please let him go?"
"Oh, sorry," Akane dropped Wufei's ponytail, but not without giving it a firm yank first. I covered my mouth, smothering a giggle.
"Thanks," Wufei mumbled. Nabiki dropped his other arm and Wufei slowly moved around to stand behind me, mostly protected from the "rabid" girls.
"Hold on," Ranma said behind them. "I'll go get the other Ranma. You girls wait here." She took off quicker than I could comprehend and my eyes went wide.
"Boy, that girl's fast."
"Not as fast as me," jested Akane smugly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said the first girl Wufei had run into. "We never properly introduced ourselves. I'm Nabiki and this is my little sister, Akane. That...uh...girl who just ran that way is Ranma. She went to get the other Ranma, Akane's fiance." Wufei's eyebrow shot up, but Duo and I shrugged it off.
"I'm Jem and this is Duo and the guy you were beating up is Wufei. We've two other friends wandering around here named Quatre and Heero, also known as the Perfect Soldier," I smiled and held out my hand. Nabiki stared at it a moment before taking it.
"Sorry, we're originally Japanese," she said, smiling. "But our town was destroyed in the Massacre of Colony 1120, so we moved to this colony in hopes of starting over. Both Ranmas are from China."
"Ah, Heero's Japanese too. And Wufei is Chinese," Duo smiled brightly. "And I'm American. I do believe Jem is too."
"Yeah, but I was in Japan for a short spell, too, in Nara," I said, then looked around. "I wonder where Quatre is? And Heero?"
Just as the words left my mouth, I saw Heero walking down the hall, a rather bright red left ear and a scowl set in his features. Upon seeing us, his Perfect Soldier mask came back in full force. Quatre walked over toward us, carrying the five bags that we had gotten. I had a sneaking suspicion that the tapes and recorder were hidden randomly in the bags as well.
"Speak of the devils," I laughed. "That's Heero and Quatre."
"Wow, he really does look the Perfect Soldier," whispered Nabiki. As soon as the two reached us, a young boy with black hair pulled in a similar braid to Duo's halted a rather fast run between the girls.
"Hey," the boy said to the girls. "Is this the pretty girl with the pretty name Ranma was talking about?"
"If you're talking about me, I'm not pretty," I said, my face set in a deep glower. "Nor am I impressed." This guy seemed to have the total air of confidence that was even worse than Duo's when I'd first met him. But I'd learned something with Duo: Don't judge from first impressions.
"I guess you're her," the boy said, smiling. "You're pretty cute, even if you don't think so yourself. My name's Ranma. Yours is?"
"Jeminie. Jem is fine, though," I grinned wide. "And these are my companions, if you didn't notice. This is Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Wufei. They have been teaching me the ways of the soldier."
"Jem, what are you doing?" Heero asked, his monotone clear as a bell.
"Nothing of grave importance," I answered. "As if these guys are X Force soldiers." I rolled my eyes sarcastically at the very thought.
"X Force?" Ranma stepped forward on one leg and stared at us. "What do you know about the X Force?"
"We're going to stop them," Wufei answered harshly. "That's what. Another of our companions is seeking the information we need to infiltrate it now."
"The only problem is that these four don't think I'm ready to go into the base, so while he's out researching, they're teaching little old me the ropes," I said modestly. "Honestly, it's easy work so far. Stuff I've done since I was little to keep myself from being bored. But I need a little more challenge in the hand-to-hand category."
"I'm almost a master myself," Ranma said. "Maybe a spar?"
"Quatre, what do you say?" I asked him. "After all, it's your house."
"What do you mean?" Nabiki asked incredulously. "We can't leave father and the others all alone, Ranma!"
"Oh, yeah," he sighed.
"Oh, sis, you could go watch after the old guys," Akane growled. "Me and Ranma can go help train this wimp of a girl."
"Wimp!?" I shouted. "Now see here, I ain't no wimp!"
"Don't get her started on it, please," Duo begged, on his knees before Akane.
"Okay, okay, okay," Akane sweat dropped. (AN-The first one...I'm impressed, normally it's sweat-drop-central in my life.)
"Let's just get going before things get tangled up," Ranma said, scowling. "We've got a little bit of explaining to do."
"Explaining?"
***
Umm....I cannot believe this has dragged on this long. Another chapter after this one. Maybe I oughta just keep this loaded up as I go instead of spacing the updates....