A/N: Weeeelllll, looks like this story o' mine was more popular than I thought. Thanks for the reviews, fellas! For those who gave me signed ones, here's my individual thanks;
Bastion: Domo arigato! Of course humans can fly…Jou-chan's proven it many times…
Colleen: Arigato! Maybe I got the feel for the characters because I live with them…heheheh…
Firuze Khamune: Yeah, your review helped a lot. Yahiko's furious with my success…grin No, he is DEFINITELY NOT a cross between Enishi and me. He's more like my current incarnation. I do wear glasses. And I like blue. ^_^
Sephy: Handsome, ain't it? grin
Katala: You've made him mad already…heheheheh…
IYandKH4ever: What's gonna happen next? Read on!
Hana Himura: Ah, another great author! (This is gettin' good!) Your PBS story was freakin' funny…snickers Thanks for the review. Just a little more to go…
Susan: …Just whaddya mean by Sagara-taichou "having fun" with me?
Carole: YEAH!!! REVIEW NO. 20!!! Thanx! That cash is mine for the taking! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Yasai-chan: Actually, yours is review 21…Thanks anyway!
CyberSerpent: Ya know, I never thought of that…But remember, we celebrate Tanabata, not Valentine's day…I told Yahiko-CHAN already…heheheh. Boy is he pissed at you for the suggestion…
And this is specially for those authors who reviewed me and whose fics I've especially enjoyed;
Arashi-jou-chan: Hey hey, thanks for the feedback! Ya know, it would be nice if you could kick me over to the keyboard once in a while…I get lazy a little. Okay, a lot. Sue me ^_^ Anyway, I do agree that Jou-chan's damned important to us. That's why her non-existence is gonna have EXTREMELY bad effects on everyone…read on!
Karina-jou-chan: AHHH!!!! Karina-jou-chan reviewed me! Kami-sama! collapses to the ground You know, I could fit that alter ego bit into my story if ya don't mind. But like I said to Firuze, he's more like my modern incarnation…heheheh. Hot, ain't he? BTW, I can't give ya your share of the yen yet. That damn Yahiko-chan tricked me…I'll explain at the end. As for the kitsune-sensei, her role in my story's gonna have a bit o' angst in it…
Bao Blossom-sama: I'm honoured to have the author of "First Date" to review my story. bows in admiration Domo arigato for your review. It's worth three times that of any normal author to me. reverts back from formal personality You're a better author than me! And ya don't havta kill me…The next chapter's here already. Besides, the Kitsune-onna who I married'll be VERY angry if you do…eerie "Ohohohohoho!" comes from the backgroundAnd I'll take the fishbone. ^_^++
Zosocrowe-sama: I bow before one of the masters in RK fanfiction. Yeah, this is my first. BTW, I didn't eat all her food. You think I wanna get food poisoning? chuckles evilly And don't worry, I'd never attack ya with my Zanbatou… unless you stop writing your Kenji fics or you flame me, of course. ^_^
As a side note, to avoid confusion between the actual Sano and me, I'll be referring to myself in this fic as Zanza. grins Yes, this is a self insertion fic. I'm Sano, aren't I?
Now, on with the story!
All The Difference
By Sagara Sanosuke
Chapter 1
Explanations And Discovery: Part 1
Kaoru didn't understand. She refused to. "I still don't understand!"
"You REALLY don't get it? Well, I'll tell it to you straight."
"Sano" smiled.
"You don't exist."
~*~
Kaoru was taken aback. No, make that shocked. She stared at 'Sano' for a moment, her mouth gaping open. 'Sano' just stood there, patiently waiting for a reaction. When it did come, it wasn't one he expected.
Kaoru started laughing hysterically, clutching her stomach and bending over with laughter. 'Sano' was stunned for a moment, then an enraged look appeared on his face.
"Just WHAT THE HECK is so damned funny?!" he yelled, pissed. Kaoru paused her laughing for a moment, wiping tears from her eyes.
"Oh, that's a good joke, Sano. 'I don't exist'," she said, chuckling and patting him on the back. "Now stop kidding around already. What's with the change of clothing? And where'd you get the spear from? Don't tell me you won it by gambling?"
'Sano' mentally sighed in relief. Okay, so she hasn't gone nuts, she's just in denial. Let's see… He snapped his fingers and a small book appeared in his hand. Flipping through it, he found the section on "What a guide should do in case of…"
Hmm…"In case of denial, explain to client everything and be as serious as possible. However, do not tell client of the actual purpose of granting his/her wish. And above all, handle the client with tact." Well, so much for tact earlier on…here goes… He snapped his fingers again, making the book disappear, and turned to Kaoru.
"Okay, Jou-chan, listen up. The reason I'm here is…" 'Sano' trailed off at the surprised look on Kaoru's face.
"How'd you do that, Sano?"
"Do what?"
"Make that book appear and disappear again."
'Sano' grinned. "It's just a little handy ability I've got, but that's beside the point. As I was saying, the reason I'm here is because…what the?"
Kaoru grabbed the makeshift bokken she'd dropped earlier and abruptly whacked 'Sano' on the head, breaking it in the process. (The stick, not the head.)
"ITAI!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!!!" 'Sano' yelped angrily. Kaoru wasn't listening. She stared at the broken wood in her hand.
"Okay, so this isn't a dream…what's going on?" she said to herself.
'Sano' slapped his hand to his forehead in frustration. "Oh, for cryin' out loud…This is reality, dammit! And I'm TRYING ta explain what's goin' on so stop whacking me and listen up already!!"
Kaoru folded her arms and narrowed her eyes threateningly. "You have 5 seconds to explain what's going on, Sano, and it'd better be good. 5…"
"Well…damn, how do I explain this?'
"4…"
"I…uh…"
"3…"
"C'mon, ya gotta relax first…"
"2…"
"Maybe you'd better sit down."
"1…"
"I was sent here by Kami-sama because he saw what happened to you and took pity on you and decided to help you by granting your wish and I'm supposed to be your guide through the world before you get taken up to Tengoku, alright?!" he yelled in one breath.
Kaoru paused, processing his words in her head for a moment. She snorted in contempt.
"That's the lousiest explanation I've ever heard of in my entire life, Sano. That's it. I'm going back to the dojo. You can continue this stupid joke by yourself if you like, but stop fooling around with me." With that, she stomped away irritably.
'Sano' massaged his forehead in frustration. "Man, why did I ever choose ta go for this mission in this form? Yare yare…even if she doesn't believe me, she's gonna find out sooner or later. Just wish she didn't have to the hard way…Well, I'd better keep an eye on her."
The rooster-head in blue put two fingers to the red bandanna on his forehead. Concentrating for a moment, the tall figure flickered in the evening light and vanished.
~*~
Kamiya Kaoru was pissed as she walked the road leading to the dojo. Not only had everyone forgotten her birthday, a certain baka-tori-atama just HAD to mess it up further, didn't he? He and his nonsense…did he really expect her to believe him?
Of all the low-down, rotten, dirty, stupid jokes… she grumbled mentally, then stopped. She stared at what was in front of her.
Or rather, what wasn't.
The Kamiya Kasshin dojo, Kaoru's home and refuge, was no more.
Instead, what stood in its place was a large, new-looking wooden structure which bore a wooden sign at the gate. Pairs of footwear could be seen at the entrance. Men and women's voices and laughter could be heard from within.
No Yahiko. No Kenshin.
Kaoru gazed in disbelief at the wooden sign in front, her hand dropping the makeshift bokken she'd been gripping.
-Hiruma Gambling Hall-
WHAT THE HELL?!!!!
Kaoru snatched up the bough and barged into the building. Slamming the door open, she took in the sight of the gamblers sitting at their mats and the scantily clad women serving sake. And sitting at one particular mat was…
"Hiruma Gohei?!!"
Indeed, it was the hulking giant who'd been severely injured once by Kenshin's sakabatou. He stood up with an evil grin.
"Well well, what do we have here, boys? Another willing worker for our establishment? There's always room for more," Gohei chuckled.
"Damn you, Hiruma! What've you done to Kenshin and Yahiko?! And how dare you come back here after Kenshin chased you away?!" Kaoru shouted in rage.
Gohei looked confused for a moment, then grinned evilly. "I have no idea what you're rambling about, girl, but I don't like the fact that you think this place is yours." He advanced, drawing a sword. Kaoru backed against the wall, wielding the makeshift bokken in a defensive stance.
"You think that twig's gonna defeat me?" Gohei snorted in contempt. His sneer was cut short as he suddenly found himself sprawled on the floor, his head throbbing in pain. Kaoru had dealt him a hard blow.
"Boss!" his flunkies yelled, getting to their feet and drawing their swords. They advanced menacingly towards Kaoru, who found herself trapped by the gangsters. She closed her eyes, praying for someone, anyone, to come and help…
"Yare yare…it looks like you just can't stay out of trouble, can ya, Jou-chan?" a familiar voice drawled. Kaoru's eyes snapped open and she turned to see…
"Sano!"
"In the flesh." 'Sano' replied with the usual all-too-confident grin. He unsheathed his spear, pushing up his glasses with two fingers. His brown eyes glinted as he counted the number of opponents.
"Too easy."
With a spine-chilling roar, he charged with lightning speed towards the gangsters before they could move a muscle. With a single stroke of his spear, he felled two to three men at once. You couldn't even see him as he assaulted the group.
He's almost as fast as Kenshin…how did Sano train to that level? Kaoru thought wildly.
Within a few moments, all the men lay unmoving on the ground. The other customers and workers had long since evacuated the area. 'Sano' stood proudly on top of a pile of defeated opponents, grinning and flashing a 'V' symbol with one hand. Kaoru sank to her knees in shock and disbelief.
"H…how'd you…kill all of them so easily?" she stammered.
"Kill? Nah, I just knocked 'em out. Ya can't kill anyone with this spear. See?" He held out the spear for her to examine.
"It's a blunt spear…like Kenshin's sakabatou…Where'd you get this, Sano?" Kaoru asked, curious.
"First, stop calling me Sano. I'm not really your rooster-headed friend, so just call me Zanza instead," Zanza commented with a grin.
"Fine. Where'd you get this from, Zanza?" Kaoru repeated. I'll humor him, she thought.
Zanza was just about to reply when he heard the distant whistles that could only mean one thing; the police were coming.
"Oh shit. Well, I'll just have ta get us outta here. Hang on tight." Zanza walked to Kaoru and picked her up, carrying her like a gunny sack.
"Hey!! Put me down NOW Zanza!! What do you think you're doing?!" Kaoru shrieked indignantly.
Zanza ignored her and put two fingers to his forehead. He closed his eyes and concentrated…
A second later, Kaoru's jaw dropped as she saw Zanza and herself flicker and vanish into thin air, and not a moment too soon, as a group of police barged through the door and saw the unconscious men, the gambling mats, and the swords strewn on the ground. No sign of Kaoru, or Zanza either.
-to be continued…
Japanese glossary
Bokken – A wooden sword used in kendo practice. Any self-righteous RK fan should know that.
Kimono – The dress normally worn by Japanese women and girls, tied at the waist with an obi.
Obi – A ribbon/sash used for tying a kimono.
Shoji – Sliding door in traditional Japanese houses, made of rice paper.
-dono – Kenshin-speak. Used whenever he says Kaoru's (or any other woman) name. A more formal version of –san.
De gozaru yo – Kenshin-speak, kinda like a long full stop. If the sentence is translated into English, it'd sound like "I have prepared breakfast, that I have."
Sessha – MORE Kenshin-speak. It means "this lowly one".
Hakama – Those extremely wide pants Kenshin wears.
Daijobu – Are you all right?
-chan – A suffix used when referring to someone younger.
Gaki-deshi – Demon-student, literally.
Ano – Uh…
Iie – no
Nani - What?
Oro – Kenshin's trademark exclaimation of surprise.
Jou-chan – Sano's trademark nickname for Kaoru. It means "little missy".
Kitsune-onna – Fox-woman
Baka – Idiot
Busu – Ugly
Irrashaimase – Greeting used by shopkeepers.
Sou ka? – Is that so?
Itai – Ouch
Kami-sama – God
Tengoku – Heaven
A/N: Well, this chapter was kinda short, but I'll make 'em longer next time. As for the results of the bet, that damn Yahiko tricked me! He said that I was supposed to get 20 reviews a CHAPTER to win the bet…Kuso! Looks like I'll havta work hard…Thanks for all the reviews, guys! Hope you'll continue supporting the story…
-Sano