High School From HELL-Daniel Ocean
Copyright by not me blah blah blah whatever et cetera et cetera and so on.
Relena had her head on her Latin book, wondering why she had decided, back in seventh grade, to take such a boring language. She had always wanted to learn the secret to the grandeur and glory of the Romans, but she didn't think that it came from learning how to conjugate "to fall down". She was bored to tears, almost wanting to go back to chemistry.
She looked up at the classroom clock, watching the seconds tick down to the end of fourth period and lunch. There were not quite three minutes left, each of which lasted longer than it took to build the Hoover Dam. "C'mon," she said to herself. "Ninety-seven.ninety-six.ninety-five.."
The Latin teacher glided over back to her desk after filling the black board with foreign words that Relena only slightly detected as one she might have to know. She didn't really care, it wasn't as if she would pass any test in the immediate future for the class. She had spilled Hawaiian Punch on her Latin notebook the night before, and all of the pages were now welded together. "Homework," the teacher said.
"Great," said Relena. "On the first day of school." Her head was now thoroughly aching.
The teacher timed her giving the homework perfectly, finishing explaining the assignment to everyone not as comatose as Relena as the bell rang. Relena melted out of her seat and slowly slithered over to the cafeteria. Quatre was already there and looked reasonably well. "Hey Relena. How's been your day? Got good teachers? I know you do. So I haven't seen-"
He had not yet begun to cross the threshold to talkative, but Relena shot a Heero glare. "I do not believe in any sort of fighting, you know that, right?"
"Of course."
"So shut up before I unleash Heero upon you." With nothing else she got into the line, trying to convince herself to wait that long and not do the dirty work herself.
Quatre got into line right behind her. He took two trays for them and said, "So I guess that this wasn't really a good day for you, huh?"
Relena shot and upgraded version of the Heero glare, the kind that said, Gee, Quatre, you think? I would like to see you ask that again and even be able to try to survive. She wondered if she still had diplomatic immunity, and if that would cover murder.
They made their way up the line, grabbed a milk, a cup of fruit and a slice of pizza, and made their way to the benches outside. Relena gave two dollars to the cashier for the $1.50 lunch and didn't bother to get her change. "Young lady?" called the cashier. "Come back. You forgot your.oh, never mind."
"I'll get it to her," said Quatre.
"I'll bet you will. One fifty."
The fourth Gundam pilot sighed and gave the appropriate amount. Then he made his way to Relena, who was biting into the slice and wincing. "God! They put so much grease into it. It tastes like an oil slick."
Quatre did not ask how she would know and just said, "You okay? Has the first day of school upset you that much?"
"Yes it has. Thank you for asking. It'll be the last thing you'll ever ask, unfortunately." She took a fountain pen from her backpack. "Come here, Q."
Uh-oh. "Uh, no thank you. I am fine right here. It's okay." He was trying to keep his distance.
"Come here right now before I have to go over to you." Her voice went from normal to Darth Vader-like to incredibly high. Quatre took up his tray and started to walk gingerly backward. He thought that running straight out would send her on a nutty rampage after him. "All right, that was your last warning." She decided to put away her pen and looked like she was going to beat the crap out of him.
"Oh, great Jesus." He turned and ran the opposite direction as fast as he could. Relena chased for a few steps, and then cackled to herself and sat back down. Looking back at her lunch, though, she sighed. "So let's recap- the pizza is crap, and the peaches are undoubtedly worse. So that leaves me a liquid lunch." She opened her milk and drank deeply, grateful at the fact that they had chocolate.
"Whoa, you'll have to come up for air eventually there, Princess." Duo came with his lunch and a grin that made Relena pine for punching his head off. "Jeez, and you haven't even touched your peaches yet?" He helped himself to them. "Aww, is the stormy weather keeping you down?"
"I want you to listen carefully, Maxwell," she said. "Shut.the hell.up.before I kill you." She ready to give chase again, and not to give up after just a couple of steps. "Capisce?"
"Hey, calm down there, Relena, I was just trying to play around with you a little bit. No need to get offended." His goofy grin went away to be replaced by an irritated look. "I doubt it would make you feel better but I will be dead in a couple of days, thanks to Heero."
"Barely."
"Better than nothing." Duo took good bite of pizza, and washed it down with the water from the peach container. He figured he would save his milk for last, and that water was just as good for getting food down his throat. "Where is everyone else, anyway? It isn't too bad out." It had warmed up, but it was quite cloudy.
"Quatre is fleeing for his life, Heero, Hilde and Dorothy have second lunch shift and I saw Wufei in the office. Dunno where Trowa is." She put her milk on the bench.
"Oh." Duo swung his feet to put the up on the bench, next to Relena, and succeeded to do nothing but knock her milk over.
They both looked at the spreading brown liquid, and then at each other. Relena looked close to tears at first, then picked up her pen again. "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!"
"Aieeee!"
Copyright by not me blah blah blah whatever et cetera et cetera and so on.
Relena had her head on her Latin book, wondering why she had decided, back in seventh grade, to take such a boring language. She had always wanted to learn the secret to the grandeur and glory of the Romans, but she didn't think that it came from learning how to conjugate "to fall down". She was bored to tears, almost wanting to go back to chemistry.
She looked up at the classroom clock, watching the seconds tick down to the end of fourth period and lunch. There were not quite three minutes left, each of which lasted longer than it took to build the Hoover Dam. "C'mon," she said to herself. "Ninety-seven.ninety-six.ninety-five.."
The Latin teacher glided over back to her desk after filling the black board with foreign words that Relena only slightly detected as one she might have to know. She didn't really care, it wasn't as if she would pass any test in the immediate future for the class. She had spilled Hawaiian Punch on her Latin notebook the night before, and all of the pages were now welded together. "Homework," the teacher said.
"Great," said Relena. "On the first day of school." Her head was now thoroughly aching.
The teacher timed her giving the homework perfectly, finishing explaining the assignment to everyone not as comatose as Relena as the bell rang. Relena melted out of her seat and slowly slithered over to the cafeteria. Quatre was already there and looked reasonably well. "Hey Relena. How's been your day? Got good teachers? I know you do. So I haven't seen-"
He had not yet begun to cross the threshold to talkative, but Relena shot a Heero glare. "I do not believe in any sort of fighting, you know that, right?"
"Of course."
"So shut up before I unleash Heero upon you." With nothing else she got into the line, trying to convince herself to wait that long and not do the dirty work herself.
Quatre got into line right behind her. He took two trays for them and said, "So I guess that this wasn't really a good day for you, huh?"
Relena shot and upgraded version of the Heero glare, the kind that said, Gee, Quatre, you think? I would like to see you ask that again and even be able to try to survive. She wondered if she still had diplomatic immunity, and if that would cover murder.
They made their way up the line, grabbed a milk, a cup of fruit and a slice of pizza, and made their way to the benches outside. Relena gave two dollars to the cashier for the $1.50 lunch and didn't bother to get her change. "Young lady?" called the cashier. "Come back. You forgot your.oh, never mind."
"I'll get it to her," said Quatre.
"I'll bet you will. One fifty."
The fourth Gundam pilot sighed and gave the appropriate amount. Then he made his way to Relena, who was biting into the slice and wincing. "God! They put so much grease into it. It tastes like an oil slick."
Quatre did not ask how she would know and just said, "You okay? Has the first day of school upset you that much?"
"Yes it has. Thank you for asking. It'll be the last thing you'll ever ask, unfortunately." She took a fountain pen from her backpack. "Come here, Q."
Uh-oh. "Uh, no thank you. I am fine right here. It's okay." He was trying to keep his distance.
"Come here right now before I have to go over to you." Her voice went from normal to Darth Vader-like to incredibly high. Quatre took up his tray and started to walk gingerly backward. He thought that running straight out would send her on a nutty rampage after him. "All right, that was your last warning." She decided to put away her pen and looked like she was going to beat the crap out of him.
"Oh, great Jesus." He turned and ran the opposite direction as fast as he could. Relena chased for a few steps, and then cackled to herself and sat back down. Looking back at her lunch, though, she sighed. "So let's recap- the pizza is crap, and the peaches are undoubtedly worse. So that leaves me a liquid lunch." She opened her milk and drank deeply, grateful at the fact that they had chocolate.
"Whoa, you'll have to come up for air eventually there, Princess." Duo came with his lunch and a grin that made Relena pine for punching his head off. "Jeez, and you haven't even touched your peaches yet?" He helped himself to them. "Aww, is the stormy weather keeping you down?"
"I want you to listen carefully, Maxwell," she said. "Shut.the hell.up.before I kill you." She ready to give chase again, and not to give up after just a couple of steps. "Capisce?"
"Hey, calm down there, Relena, I was just trying to play around with you a little bit. No need to get offended." His goofy grin went away to be replaced by an irritated look. "I doubt it would make you feel better but I will be dead in a couple of days, thanks to Heero."
"Barely."
"Better than nothing." Duo took good bite of pizza, and washed it down with the water from the peach container. He figured he would save his milk for last, and that water was just as good for getting food down his throat. "Where is everyone else, anyway? It isn't too bad out." It had warmed up, but it was quite cloudy.
"Quatre is fleeing for his life, Heero, Hilde and Dorothy have second lunch shift and I saw Wufei in the office. Dunno where Trowa is." She put her milk on the bench.
"Oh." Duo swung his feet to put the up on the bench, next to Relena, and succeeded to do nothing but knock her milk over.
They both looked at the spreading brown liquid, and then at each other. Relena looked close to tears at first, then picked up her pen again. "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!"
"Aieeee!"