***
CHAPTER FIVE: Another One to be Voted Out
***
Returning to their camp after tribal council, silence lingered—again—between the 'Majority', comprised of Han, Leia, Jaina and Chewie, and the 'Minority'—the lesser-known heroes (and villains) of the galaxy: Gavin Darklighter, Boba Fett, and Jabba the Hutt, now reduced to three after their loss.
Although she wanted to teach those three who voted for her a lesson, Leia decided that now was not the time to react this way. It's possible, she thought, that they might be able to win some of the opposition over to their side.
After a blissful night of rest, the cool sun of a secluded island greeted the starving survivors. After three chapters here in the wilderness- -or, uh, island—they had all begun to realize the necessity of food and shelter, and clothing and… grooming?
Yes. Leia, for instance, began to see that her hair was giving her a total problem. Thank goodness I made her bring her brush as a luxury item, or I would have to sit here at my computer talking about how terrible she would have looked!
So there she was, sitting at the campfire, messing with the tangled mess that she called "hair." Jaina was smiling at her when she arrived.
Leia rolled her eyes sarcastically and motioned for her daughter to sit by her. "And so you see, my dear child, that with long hair comes responsibility." A large knot surfaced itself.
"Yes, Mom," she replied, in the same exaggerated tone. "I've got my hair in a bun already, see?" She cocked her head to the side.
"Alright, alright, beaten by my own daughter at my own game. I concede!"
They were joined by Gavin Darklighter, who simply gave them a grunt. "Morning," he growled.
"Good morning, Colonel!" Jaina emphasized the words 'good' and 'colonel'.
"Morning, Colonel Darklighter." Leia knew he was one of those who voted for her last night.
After each member of their tribe slowly wakened one after the other, they had their usual breakfast—which of course, would also be their lunch and dinner—of rice, they all returned to what they did everyday.
Jaina went into her tent and fetched her satellite phone. Leia heard her starting to babble on the line.
"Hey, Jag! What's up? Oh. You don't say. You see me on the HoloNet? Cool. Where'd I start saying 'cool'? Oh, I don't know. Just said it right now, actually. Yep. Uh, that too."
Gavin watched the teenager—er, ah, young lady—talk to who he guessed was her boyfriend. "Hey, Bob, check that out," sparing a pointing glance at the girl. "We're here, cleaning up the ashes of last night's campfire, and there she is, talking on the phone like there's no tomorrow!"
Fett ignored the girl, but did not ignore Gavin's comment. "Yeah," he replied, "did you know women speak twice as much as males?"
Gavin snorted a chuckle. "Obviously." They paused, doing something that I (the author) have been observing in men. After an intense conversation, they take a few moments of silence, then continue.
"Hey, did you hear that the Obi-Wan Jedi in the other team voted for his friend's son? Weird what Jedi do." Bob continued his work.
Gavin couldn't agree. "Well, yeah, but I know a lot of Jedi who don't do weird stuff."
"Are you saying that I am wrong, little man?" Fett looked up. "I am NEVER wrong. Not in a million lightyears. NEVER!"
Gavin counter attacked. "Oh yeah? Well, you were WRONG because you didn't get Han Solo KILLED, and now I have to babysit his daughter at the squadron!"
This prompted Jaina to hang up. "What did you say, Darklighter?" She stalked toward the two minority members. "For your information, I could BEAT you anytime!"
The argument turned into a brawl between Jaina and Gavin. "Yeah right, you could! Little Miss Lieutenant!"
Jaina laughed heartily as Chewbacca, Han, Leia, Jabba and Fett looked on, none of them wanting to get into the mess. "Ha! The only reason YOU'RE in the squadron is because you're cousin Biggs was there first!"
"How dare you, child! How dare you insult me like I am nothing but a piece of space dust!"
"Why, thank you for the suggestion, Slimeball! It seems that you're no better than a Hutt's breath!"
Jabba flinched.
"Well, if it weren't for your mother, you wouldn't be in the squadron!"
Wit took over her. After all, this is Survivor. "Oh yeah? Could the reason be, because YOU didn't want me in it? And so, you tried to keep me from getting in? I ACED Lando's Folly. I beat Kyp Durron's time, times two! I could get the admiral, who is probably watching this on HoloNet right now, to make you pack your stuff and get your butt out of the squadron!"
Gavin laughed. "No, he would listen to MY side of the story, no matter what you say!"
Jaina snorted back. "I've had more kills than you could ever have in your entire life, Gavin Darklighter! I'm a better pilot, and you know that!"
And Gavin did know that. He stormed away.
***
While our heroes at the Norub camp settle their disputes, Sandburrow's Jacen had more problems of his own. With some non-Force investigating, he had found out the three people who had stamped him 'loser': Nom Anor, his brother Anakin, and more surprisingly of all, Obi- Wan Kenobi.
He was furious! Why would they do that? All he did was fall off a tree! Ah, on second thought, he would have done the same thing if his teammate fell flat on his face, too.
Darth Vader, ever the gourmet chef, whipped up scrambled eggs so fast you couldn't even say "Supercalifrajalisticexpealidocious." Okay, maybe you could.
But that isn't important. Jacen convinced his uncle, Mara, his grandpa Darth, and Obi-Wan, who admitted he didn't know how to spell 'Eperor', uh, 'Palpane,' uh… never mind. So, he voted for Jacen instead. Much simpler than Empers. Whatever. To vote for the conspiring little worm he called Yuuzhan Vong. Everyone hated him anyway, except Darth Vader, who of course didn't know he would even exist. Oh yeah, Obi-Wan, too.
The next days were full of whispers and plans, with Nom and Anakin alienated out of the talks.
"So," Jacen whispered to his little group as they huddled together in a secluded meeting spot, "if we lose immunity, or whatever they call it, we vote for the Vong. Don't listen to him if he tries to get you to vote for anyone else. Got it?"
Everyone agreed. Luke, who at first had some moral issues to combat, got into the dirt. This is Survivor, after all.
***
The reward challenge came not long afterward. Their mail was written on a piece of crumpled paper.
"This challenge will not be fun, or maybe it could be, for some. It's not for one who's afraid of heights, because then they'd barf at its sight. You have no choice, however, and even if you make a noise, we will not let you down, until you are the talk of the town."
"Welcome, Survivors. In this reward challenge, you will be playing for this," Jeft pointed to a nearby table. It was filled with the things each of them wished they'd had: a toothbrush, some toothpaste, and all those other grooming items you find in a bathroom. Or a refresher, sorry.
"And the challenge, is this." Behind him was a tall wall, an extremely tall wall, at that. "You will have to climb, one by one, up this wall, then down it. There is a total of five walls you will have to climb. Simple enough."
After they took their places, Jeft signaled their start. "Survivors ready! Go!"
It was a tight scramble as they sought the goal. Apparently Sandburrow's scramble was too much. Nom Anor, heading the pack, tripped, and cost his teammates time. Norub extended its lead to two walls, and eventually won the race.
"Norub wins!"
***
By losing a challenge because of his 'butterfeet''—as one "Jeedai" called it, Nom Anor lost some of his "glory." In order to restore it, he sought to place more tatoos on his body.
Taking his tatoo kit, he sat in a secluded spot—or so he thought—he started to peel away some fake tatoos to mark himself.
Apparently he was not alone. Luke and the rest of his ragtag team spotted him in the bushes. Laughter erupted as Anor saw them. "Hey, everybody! The Yuuzhan Vong's tatoos are FAKE!"
Nom Anor sneered in anger. "Jeedai! You will be sorry!" He got up and left for camp.
***
The immunity challenge was a little more different. It was a question and answer thing, and once again they faced the made-up host.
"Welcome to the immunity challenge. Your team has been given two placards. One marked 'true', and the other, 'false'. I will give you a sentence, and you will have a few seconds to decided if it is fact, or fiction." Jeft was tempted to add "or science fiction", but he restrained himself.
Once again the teams took their spots. "Survivors ready? This is a best of three rally."
"First question. Ah, answer. Bill Gates is the world's richest person."
Some awkward stares came from the group, until a voice asked, "Who's Bill Gates?"
Jeft tried his best to hold his already flaming temper. "Just take a guess, if you're not sure, okay?"
Norub answered "True", and Sandburrow, the opposite. "One point for Norub. Next. Kathie Lee is still Regis Philbin's co-host." Jeft was amazed himself at what the producers put on these cards. How the heck was a Star Wars person supposed to know who Kathie Lee was? Or Regis Philbin?!
Norub answered correctly, and once again, Sandburrow, the opposite.
"That's it. Norub wins. Again. See you tonight, Sandburrow."
Then the weird island Survivor music plays as the contestants exit the floor.
***
Again, Jeft began his usual summary of the events that have transpired earlier. "Uh, Nom, or, Nom Anor, is it true," he said with feigned innocence, "that the Yuuzhan Vong use fake tatoos?"
Nom Anor started to cry. "Yes! Yes I admit it!" He said between sobs. "I'm so sorry, mommy!"
Jeft was grinning, trying to keep his laughter in. "Okay, uh, let's vote."
Anakin voted with them, although he did not know that they might conspire against him next. Nom Anor, the only lose vote, voted for Jacen, the Jeedai who he though would be voted out.
"Last and deciding vote," Jeft announced. This was getting pretty boring. "Nom Anor. Sorry, you gotta go."
Jacen was happy, all smiles. "There you go, crybaby!" He shouted after him.
"That's what you get for 'slipping up' on your teammates," Jeft concluded.
***
CHAPTER FIVE: Another One to be Voted Out
***
Returning to their camp after tribal council, silence lingered—again—between the 'Majority', comprised of Han, Leia, Jaina and Chewie, and the 'Minority'—the lesser-known heroes (and villains) of the galaxy: Gavin Darklighter, Boba Fett, and Jabba the Hutt, now reduced to three after their loss.
Although she wanted to teach those three who voted for her a lesson, Leia decided that now was not the time to react this way. It's possible, she thought, that they might be able to win some of the opposition over to their side.
After a blissful night of rest, the cool sun of a secluded island greeted the starving survivors. After three chapters here in the wilderness- -or, uh, island—they had all begun to realize the necessity of food and shelter, and clothing and… grooming?
Yes. Leia, for instance, began to see that her hair was giving her a total problem. Thank goodness I made her bring her brush as a luxury item, or I would have to sit here at my computer talking about how terrible she would have looked!
So there she was, sitting at the campfire, messing with the tangled mess that she called "hair." Jaina was smiling at her when she arrived.
Leia rolled her eyes sarcastically and motioned for her daughter to sit by her. "And so you see, my dear child, that with long hair comes responsibility." A large knot surfaced itself.
"Yes, Mom," she replied, in the same exaggerated tone. "I've got my hair in a bun already, see?" She cocked her head to the side.
"Alright, alright, beaten by my own daughter at my own game. I concede!"
They were joined by Gavin Darklighter, who simply gave them a grunt. "Morning," he growled.
"Good morning, Colonel!" Jaina emphasized the words 'good' and 'colonel'.
"Morning, Colonel Darklighter." Leia knew he was one of those who voted for her last night.
After each member of their tribe slowly wakened one after the other, they had their usual breakfast—which of course, would also be their lunch and dinner—of rice, they all returned to what they did everyday.
Jaina went into her tent and fetched her satellite phone. Leia heard her starting to babble on the line.
"Hey, Jag! What's up? Oh. You don't say. You see me on the HoloNet? Cool. Where'd I start saying 'cool'? Oh, I don't know. Just said it right now, actually. Yep. Uh, that too."
Gavin watched the teenager—er, ah, young lady—talk to who he guessed was her boyfriend. "Hey, Bob, check that out," sparing a pointing glance at the girl. "We're here, cleaning up the ashes of last night's campfire, and there she is, talking on the phone like there's no tomorrow!"
Fett ignored the girl, but did not ignore Gavin's comment. "Yeah," he replied, "did you know women speak twice as much as males?"
Gavin snorted a chuckle. "Obviously." They paused, doing something that I (the author) have been observing in men. After an intense conversation, they take a few moments of silence, then continue.
"Hey, did you hear that the Obi-Wan Jedi in the other team voted for his friend's son? Weird what Jedi do." Bob continued his work.
Gavin couldn't agree. "Well, yeah, but I know a lot of Jedi who don't do weird stuff."
"Are you saying that I am wrong, little man?" Fett looked up. "I am NEVER wrong. Not in a million lightyears. NEVER!"
Gavin counter attacked. "Oh yeah? Well, you were WRONG because you didn't get Han Solo KILLED, and now I have to babysit his daughter at the squadron!"
This prompted Jaina to hang up. "What did you say, Darklighter?" She stalked toward the two minority members. "For your information, I could BEAT you anytime!"
The argument turned into a brawl between Jaina and Gavin. "Yeah right, you could! Little Miss Lieutenant!"
Jaina laughed heartily as Chewbacca, Han, Leia, Jabba and Fett looked on, none of them wanting to get into the mess. "Ha! The only reason YOU'RE in the squadron is because you're cousin Biggs was there first!"
"How dare you, child! How dare you insult me like I am nothing but a piece of space dust!"
"Why, thank you for the suggestion, Slimeball! It seems that you're no better than a Hutt's breath!"
Jabba flinched.
"Well, if it weren't for your mother, you wouldn't be in the squadron!"
Wit took over her. After all, this is Survivor. "Oh yeah? Could the reason be, because YOU didn't want me in it? And so, you tried to keep me from getting in? I ACED Lando's Folly. I beat Kyp Durron's time, times two! I could get the admiral, who is probably watching this on HoloNet right now, to make you pack your stuff and get your butt out of the squadron!"
Gavin laughed. "No, he would listen to MY side of the story, no matter what you say!"
Jaina snorted back. "I've had more kills than you could ever have in your entire life, Gavin Darklighter! I'm a better pilot, and you know that!"
And Gavin did know that. He stormed away.
***
While our heroes at the Norub camp settle their disputes, Sandburrow's Jacen had more problems of his own. With some non-Force investigating, he had found out the three people who had stamped him 'loser': Nom Anor, his brother Anakin, and more surprisingly of all, Obi- Wan Kenobi.
He was furious! Why would they do that? All he did was fall off a tree! Ah, on second thought, he would have done the same thing if his teammate fell flat on his face, too.
Darth Vader, ever the gourmet chef, whipped up scrambled eggs so fast you couldn't even say "Supercalifrajalisticexpealidocious." Okay, maybe you could.
But that isn't important. Jacen convinced his uncle, Mara, his grandpa Darth, and Obi-Wan, who admitted he didn't know how to spell 'Eperor', uh, 'Palpane,' uh… never mind. So, he voted for Jacen instead. Much simpler than Empers. Whatever. To vote for the conspiring little worm he called Yuuzhan Vong. Everyone hated him anyway, except Darth Vader, who of course didn't know he would even exist. Oh yeah, Obi-Wan, too.
The next days were full of whispers and plans, with Nom and Anakin alienated out of the talks.
"So," Jacen whispered to his little group as they huddled together in a secluded meeting spot, "if we lose immunity, or whatever they call it, we vote for the Vong. Don't listen to him if he tries to get you to vote for anyone else. Got it?"
Everyone agreed. Luke, who at first had some moral issues to combat, got into the dirt. This is Survivor, after all.
***
The reward challenge came not long afterward. Their mail was written on a piece of crumpled paper.
"This challenge will not be fun, or maybe it could be, for some. It's not for one who's afraid of heights, because then they'd barf at its sight. You have no choice, however, and even if you make a noise, we will not let you down, until you are the talk of the town."
"Welcome, Survivors. In this reward challenge, you will be playing for this," Jeft pointed to a nearby table. It was filled with the things each of them wished they'd had: a toothbrush, some toothpaste, and all those other grooming items you find in a bathroom. Or a refresher, sorry.
"And the challenge, is this." Behind him was a tall wall, an extremely tall wall, at that. "You will have to climb, one by one, up this wall, then down it. There is a total of five walls you will have to climb. Simple enough."
After they took their places, Jeft signaled their start. "Survivors ready! Go!"
It was a tight scramble as they sought the goal. Apparently Sandburrow's scramble was too much. Nom Anor, heading the pack, tripped, and cost his teammates time. Norub extended its lead to two walls, and eventually won the race.
"Norub wins!"
***
By losing a challenge because of his 'butterfeet''—as one "Jeedai" called it, Nom Anor lost some of his "glory." In order to restore it, he sought to place more tatoos on his body.
Taking his tatoo kit, he sat in a secluded spot—or so he thought—he started to peel away some fake tatoos to mark himself.
Apparently he was not alone. Luke and the rest of his ragtag team spotted him in the bushes. Laughter erupted as Anor saw them. "Hey, everybody! The Yuuzhan Vong's tatoos are FAKE!"
Nom Anor sneered in anger. "Jeedai! You will be sorry!" He got up and left for camp.
***
The immunity challenge was a little more different. It was a question and answer thing, and once again they faced the made-up host.
"Welcome to the immunity challenge. Your team has been given two placards. One marked 'true', and the other, 'false'. I will give you a sentence, and you will have a few seconds to decided if it is fact, or fiction." Jeft was tempted to add "or science fiction", but he restrained himself.
Once again the teams took their spots. "Survivors ready? This is a best of three rally."
"First question. Ah, answer. Bill Gates is the world's richest person."
Some awkward stares came from the group, until a voice asked, "Who's Bill Gates?"
Jeft tried his best to hold his already flaming temper. "Just take a guess, if you're not sure, okay?"
Norub answered "True", and Sandburrow, the opposite. "One point for Norub. Next. Kathie Lee is still Regis Philbin's co-host." Jeft was amazed himself at what the producers put on these cards. How the heck was a Star Wars person supposed to know who Kathie Lee was? Or Regis Philbin?!
Norub answered correctly, and once again, Sandburrow, the opposite.
"That's it. Norub wins. Again. See you tonight, Sandburrow."
Then the weird island Survivor music plays as the contestants exit the floor.
***
Again, Jeft began his usual summary of the events that have transpired earlier. "Uh, Nom, or, Nom Anor, is it true," he said with feigned innocence, "that the Yuuzhan Vong use fake tatoos?"
Nom Anor started to cry. "Yes! Yes I admit it!" He said between sobs. "I'm so sorry, mommy!"
Jeft was grinning, trying to keep his laughter in. "Okay, uh, let's vote."
Anakin voted with them, although he did not know that they might conspire against him next. Nom Anor, the only lose vote, voted for Jacen, the Jeedai who he though would be voted out.
"Last and deciding vote," Jeft announced. This was getting pretty boring. "Nom Anor. Sorry, you gotta go."
Jacen was happy, all smiles. "There you go, crybaby!" He shouted after him.
"That's what you get for 'slipping up' on your teammates," Jeft concluded.
***