Narriel gets me up early the next morning. She brings me a bunch of new clothes and undergarments for my period days. I can't even remember the days, but I know it will come soon. She makes me a bath and helps me get ready. As we leave, she tells me, "The others are all waiting for you at the table. They have canceled your lesson today as your friends wish to talk with you this morning."

I frown at her words but nod. I turn towards the table and I take a deep breath as I approach. They are all there waiting for me and I am a bit surprised. I see Tuor give me an enormous smile while Voronwë and Idril look at me with hesitation. I join them at the table and start to eat my meal, waiting for one of them to speak.

I'm surprised at Tuor speaking first. "We wanted to spend the morning with you talking as we realized yesterday we were all poor friends to you. Idril has offered us her private garden, so no one will overhear our conversations. Please eat though and then we can all sit together to talk."

I nod and eat my breakfast. I watch Idril and Voronwë as they squirm in their seats. I know they both want to apologize and speak, but I think they deserve to be miserable for a little while. Once I'm finished, Idril leads us across the palace to her private garden. A small table and chairs have been set up near the fountain, as well as some glasses of water.

Soon as we are sitting, Idril bursts out in tears. "I cannot take it any longer. I am so sorry about the things I have said. I was a terrible friend to you and treated you poorly after I heard the rumors. I understand if you don't wish to be my friend any longer, but I hope you can forgive me."

She is really crying now, and she reaches for a handkerchief to dry her eyes. I'm not sure what to say at first, but Voronwë jumps in next. "I, too, have been an awful friend. I let my own feelings and emotions impede our friendship. I left you at the dinner and you had to deal with Maeglin. I am so sorry for that as well as not being there for you yesterday. I arrived back in the city and heard all the rumors. I am sorry to say that I believed in the rumors when I heard them. It was only when Celebrimbor told me some of what happened did I realize what a lousy friend I was. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I understand if you don't."

He wipes his tears and looks down at the table in shame. I look at Tuor now, who shrugs a little. "I haven't been the best friend either. I didn't believe the rumors yesterday, but I didn't bother to find you. I admit I thought you wouldn't have cared what was said, as I know I escorted you to your room after the dance. It was only when I found Idril upset, I learned all that had taken place. I looked for you around the city but Lord Ecthelion told me Celebrimbor was with you and to give you some space. I am sorry I wasn't there when you needed a friend. I am truly grateful that you and Celebrimbor have developed a friendship as he seems like a wonderful person and I would like to get to know him better."

Tuor isn't crying, but he has a frown on his face. The other two are looking down in shame and crying a few tears, waiting for me to speak. "I think it is probably best for me to tell everyone everything that has happened. I think it would also help you all to know how I was feeling."

I look at Voronwë first, who is looking at me sadly. "It upset me at the way you began acting towards me after our kiss. I would have understood if your feelings were changing or if we were moving too fast for you. Instead, you ignored me and pulled away. That hurt me the most, as I thought our friendship was better than that. I wanted to speak to you the day after the dance, but you acted cold towards me at the dinner. Then you left me and I had to endure Maeglin before the dance and with a few first dances."

I turn to Idril now and say, "you saw me staring at Maeglin during the dinner because he was being nice to me. I was blown away by his words and actions. When he offered to escort me to the dance, he offered me his bed and wouldn't stop pulling me close and touching me. What you didn't see was me denying his advances and physically pushing him away. Your father saw me push him but did nothing about it. I know now that it was your father's idea to have Maeglin get closer to me by offering me his bed."

"As the dance began, and we had a few dances, he continued to offer and I continued to deny him. Maeglin saw Voronwë leaving the dance and he told me he was more forward in his advances than normal. He hoped I would be mad enough to do something foolish to hurt Voronwë. He didn't think anyone heard him as he whispered, but Gilwen heard and told Amara. I met her after a few of my dances, where she insulted me and threatened me. I had enough by then and went to sit with Celebrimbor, Echadron, and Harmon. They let me talk and gave me some good advice. I danced with Celebrimbor and after I approached Ecthelion to ask him for a dance. I danced with him for a long time and I got to enjoy the dance for a while. Unfortunately, Amara was watching us and she and Gilwen planned to spread the rumors."

I took a deep breath now, as I needed to get this all out. "I didn't hear any of the rumors as I went to my lesson. I was angry when you accused me of sleeping with Maeglin. While I understand rumors and that I am new in the city, it hurt me the most that you believed them and didn't even ask me. I didn't want to be anywhere near you as I knew in my anger I would say something I would regret."

She is crying heavily now, but I keep going. "I needed someone to talk to, so I ran to the workshop. It was locked, and I really didn't want to cry with everyone watching me. I wandered on top of the wall until I found a tower that was deserted to cry in. I was there most of the afternoon as I cried about a lot of things. I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss my life, and I miss the life that I might have had. I cried about the things happening in the city, as I had no actual way to stop it. I have nobody here and the friends that I had weren't there when I needed them."

I'm crying now and Voronwë hands me a clean handkerchief. I dab my eyes and continue, "one guard heard me crying, and I was up there for so long he got worried. He doesn't speak common, so he went to get Ecthelion. He was coming to see me, but Celebrimbor found him and said he would go. Celebrimbor came and sat with me and let me cry. We talked eventually, and he helped me through some of my problems."

I look at Voronwë and say, "we talked about you and me. He told me a little to help me understand, but I would like to speak to you about it. I'm not sure if you would like to speak privately or not."

"Privately, if that is alright."

I nod and go back to my story. "Celebrimbor and I went to Maeglin's house before dinner. We were hoping he knew more about the rumors, which he did. He admitted he offered his bed to me as a plan, but he didn't think it would work. He took care of Amara and Gilwen who are confined to their house for two years. Lord Salgant will pay a portion of our expenses for his daughter's slander towards Maeglin and me."

"Maeglin has apologized for his harsh words and his actions towards me in the beginning. I have accepted his apology and we are starting anew. While we will never be friends, we have agreed to treat each other with respect. I hope my friends will follow my lead and not treat him poorly due to me."

I pause and look around at each other until they acknowledge my words. Voronwë thinks the longest at my words, but eventually agrees. "I stopped by Ecthelion's house last evening to thank him for sending Celebrimbor. Also, for offering to come himself. He told me more about his courtship with Amara and he made me promise to tell him if she speaks to me again or threatens me. Glorfindel has also asked the same, and I said I would. I would still like to get to know them both, along with people in their houses. I have decided to start my training next spring. Glorfindel will be the one training me, but Ecthelion has offered to run with me in the mornings."

"I accept both of your apologies." I look to Idril first and say, "I want us to keep getting to know one another and to grow our friendship. I only ask that if you hear something, you ask me first. If I do anything or say anything that makes you upset, I want you to tell me. Friends tell each other when they are in the wrong and support them when they need it."

She is nodding eagerly at me. "I will, I promise. I will be more open and honest in the future and I hope you will be as well."

I nod and move to Tuor. "I know you thought little of the rumors, but you are going to be a lord now. You will need to speak up and defend the people in your house. You will have to be willing to listen to all sides of the story and squash rumors and lies as they come. People should be able to come to you for their concerns without fear of you dismissing them."

He nods and says, "thank you. I needed to hear that and I will learn to be a good lord to my house and a better friend."

I smile at them both and ask, "I would like to talk to Voronwë privately. May we keep using your garden or would you like us to leave?"

Idril shakes her head, "please stay. Tuor and I can take a walk around the palace and meet you in the king's courtyard later. I was hoping we could explore the markets today and the rest of the city if you are willing."

"I promised Celebrimbor I would explore the gardens of the folkwell with him this evening. I'm sure he wouldn't mind the extra company."

They both get up to leave and Idril gives me a small hug. It is just Voronwë and I and we stare at each other, waiting for the other to speak. I decide I will lead, as I know this will be difficult for him.

"During my conversation with Celebrimbor, he told me more about Elven relationships. He described it as a flame where once the first kiss happens, it could go three ways. The first is that it would be all passion and desire between the two like a large flame. The second is that it would be a smaller flame that could continue to grow or it would get extinguished. The third would be no flame and all the emotions and attraction before would be dropped in an instant. I want to tell you now that I don't feel that flame. I might not be an elf, but in my heart, I know."

I reach for his hands now and he lets me take them. He is crying heavily, and he is looking at me sadly as I speak. "You are a wonderful friend to me, and I am so grateful to have you in my life. Our bond is strong as we have been through so much together, even though our time has been short. I want more than anything in this world is to find someone to love and who loves me in return. I don't want you to give up that deeper love to be with me. I want that for you and I couldn't live with myself if I continued this relationship knowing that we don't have that connection."

"You mean so much to me, and I know this is your first time experiencing emotions and feelings. I want to give you the space if you need it or the opportunity to tell me how you feel. The only thing I ask is that you tell me what is going on and don't push me away."

His sobs are large, and they are making his shoulders shake. I know he needs some comfort, so I get up out of my chair and move to give him a warm hug. He accepts it greedily and pulls me closer. We hug for a while until my legs start to get weak. I pulled away and grabbed his hand and led him to the bench. Once we are sitting, he leans in again and crushes me with a fierce hug. I'm sobbing now and both of our cries are mixed together.

I rub his back and we both just hold on to each other tightly. The sobs reside shortly after and then I whispered, "please tell me what you are feeling. I have to know."

I feel his body shake as he nods. He pulls away from me and takes my hands in his. His eyes are extremely puffy from the crying but I'm sure mine isn't any better. "I love you. I love the way you made me feel. I love your spirit and enthusiasm. I love your kindness and your gentle heart. I love your determination and your desire to do better each day. I love everything about you, but I wish I was in love with you. I wish I loved you as you deserve. I wish we had that deeper connection and that flame that burned hotter and higher."

He looks at me sadly. "I feel a love for you, but not the right kind of love. I love you as a friend, even though I wish for something more. As I was getting to know you, every day was exciting. Being around you was exciting, and I longed to be near you and touch you. I couldn't get enough and I thought once we had kissed it would have gotten stronger."

"It didn't, and everything I had been feeling for you was gone. I still felt the love and the connection, but it seemed duller, almost. I was so confused and I am sorry I treated you that way. I have experienced nothing like this and it was all new to me. I was hoping within a few days that I could figure out my feelings and we could keep moving forward."

"When I saw you before dinner, I knew then that there was no future together. I was so mad at myself as I wanted it to be you so badly. I felt terrible when I saw Maeglin had escorted you to the dance and I knew I had been a horrible friend. I left you to deal with him while I dealt with my emotions. My uncle thought it would be good to get out of the city for a day and to see Elemmakil again. They both sat me down and gave me a similar speech to the one Celebrimbor gave you. I argued with them both that I might not really know and maybe I should keep trying with you. They told me it would only end in pain for us both and that it was selfish for me to continue with you. What if you find that person here in the city and being with me stops it? I didn't want to hold you back for my own selfish reasons. I felt better after, but I knew I still needed to apologize and talk to you."

"We heard the rumors as we came back to the city and I was angry. I was so upset at you for doing that to hurt me, so I rushed to the palace to confront you. I didn't find you, but I found Idril and Tuor. They told me what they knew, and I was so ashamed that I believed the lies as well. I was a terrible friend to you, and you truly didn't deserve it. The three of all planned for this morning, hoping you would forgive us. I hope you can forgive me for all that I have done."

"I do forgive you. Please know that this hurts me just as deeply as well. I wish we could be together. I don't want you to be with me and miss out on that love and connection."

"Thank you. I want us to keep being friends and to be able to support one another. I am glad Celebrimbor helped you when I could not. There is also something I wish to ask you, but I am a little hesitant to ask."

I smile at him and say, "ask and I will answer. Please don't be afraid to ask me anything."

His face gets a very pink tinge, and he has a very sheepish look. "When I got back to my uncle's house, Celebrimbor was waiting for me. We spoke late into the evening and he helped fill in some gaps in your story. He also told me something, but I am frightened to ask as I don't want to upset you."

I can only guess what he said, but I'm hoping it is not about Maeglin's offer. He coughs awkwardly and I have a feeling I know what he is going to ask about. "Celebrimbor told me you might desire a night of pleasure and release in the future. I do not know how this conversation came up between you too, but if that is what you need, I would not say no. I haven't done that with anyone and I would like to experience it with a friend. I admit I would not be interested right now as I need time and some space, but Celebrimbor said it wouldn't be for a while. Part of me longs to know what it is like and I would like my first experience to be with a friend and someone I trust. You do not have to do that and I won't ever ask again, but I thought I would give you the choice."

I might kill Cele, but Voronwë is so sweet and thoughtful about it. I don't know what to do so I said, "that means a lot to me that you are comfortable enough to ask. I won't tell you about the conversation between Celebrimbor and me. For humans, we desire a release and the comfort of another more than an elf. I have no idea if I am going to meet someone in the city and I'm not sure marriage would ever work between an elf and I."

"In the future, I might desire a night like that, or perhaps something more frequent. I told Celebrimbor I didn't want to do that with my friend as I didn't want to ruin a friendship or make it awkward after. I have no desire right now, but I will in the future. I will think about what you have said and I will consider it. If we end up together, please know that I will make sure your first experiences are wonderful and I wouldn't pressure you into anything. If I ask and you have changed your mind or don't think it would be good for our friendship, please tell me."

He lets out a breath and nods. I smile back at him and I'm glad he got that off his chest.

I'm happy our friendship survived this and we can be open and honest with one another. I'm going to have a very long talk with Cele about keeping secrets.

I looked at Voronwë and asked "friends?"

"Definitely," he smiled a beautiful smile at me and asked, "would you like to join Tuor and Idril now and see the rest of the city?"

I agree, and we leave Idril's private garden. Voronwë knows the way and we fall into step next to each other. It feels a little strange, but I know it will get better in time. We reach the courtyard and I see Idril and Tuor sitting on a fountain ledge. I am surprised to see Lord Penlod also.

"Lady Kiera, it is nice to see you again. I was hoping we could talk for a moment?" asked Penlod.

"Sure."

He looks a bit awkward now and is glancing at Idril. "I know during our previous conversations I offered to show you around the city. I know you expressed an interest in hearing how we built this city. While I would love to have you meet some of my fellow builders in my house, I have to rescind my previous offer." He is pulling on his tunic now and gives me a sheepish frown. "Please know that it has nothing to do with you but my hands are tied. The king has conveyed his concern to me at letting you know the inner workings of the city. While I don't believe you to be an enemy spy, we have agreed that we would rather not risk it anyway. I truly am sorry as I know you were looking forward to it."

What a load of horseshit, I thought. I am beginning to really despise the king. "It's fine,"

I say.

Everyone is looking at me now and I can tell they are waiting for me to say more. I feel a bit numb at the moment so I'm not sure how to feel. I kind of already had to give up my architectural degree when I ended up in this world. There are no computers or modern buildings for me to work on. The designs and buildings here steam more towards an artistic approach which my world definitely lacks for building design.

"Not sure what else to say. I am disappointed but I understand the reasoning. The buildings and styles in the city are nothing like what I am used to. I gave up my passion when I ended up in this world and in this city. It sucks to start over but I think it is for the best. Gives me a chance to learn something new and explore the crafts in the city."

Penlod visibly relaxes and says "I am truly sorry again. Perhaps it is for the best anyway as we have no real building work needed to be done. I have to get to a house gathering but please feel free to stop at either of my houses."

He said goodbye to everyone and left. I watched his receding back and said goodbye to my previous career. I turned to my friends who were looking at me sadly. I don't want to talk about it anymore so I suggest, "can we start our tour now? I really want to explore the rest of the city."

Tuor leaped up off the bench excitedly. "Of course, let's start."

I let Tuor and Idril lead ahead of us as Voronwë and I walked behind them. We were all a bit subdued today after our morning gathering but we walked almost to our new house. Instead of turning right to the house we went left this time. I get to see the back end of the city now.

It wasn't long before we came upon a market square. There were less than twenty shops and stalls around the market square. People were buying and trading items all over and I followed behind everyone as I took a look around. I saw a few jewelry and fabrics vendors but the main vendors were for food and household supplies.

Voronwë said "this is the lesser market. It is mainly for food and everyday items. A few vendors here sell their hobby creations. The craftsmen of the city all have permanent stalls in the great market that they share. We will see the great market in a little while."

I go back to looking at the vendor and the surrounding square. There is a main fountain in the center and plenty of elves are sitting around it eating the food. I follow Idril to a stall which is selling baked goods. She buys us all a pastry and I devoured mine. It was a crisp tart with strawberry filling. I will have to come back again to try some of the other baked goods.

We finish our treat and leave the market. Back on the main road, we keep walking until Idril points out Glorfindel's house. The place was ginormous and she said "Glorfindel's house is the largest in the city. He is in charge of training all of the guards so this house is mainly soldiers. A few of his followers are part Vanyar like himself. My mother was the only full Vanyar that left Valinor with the Noldor. However, we have a few that are of mixed descent and they prefer to make Glorfindel their lord. You will be able to spot them around the city as they have golden hair."

She chuckles, "Glorfindel prefers to train the soldiers and slacks on his paperwork duties. Ecthelion takes over much of the paperwork and logistics side of their houses. They make a good team and I feel safe in the city with them in charge. I won't give you a tour of his house today but this corner of the city belongs to the house of the Golden Flower."

I saw his mansion was quite large with three levels. His courtyard out front was huge and off to one side, I was some people sparing together. I glanced around at everything as we passed but I will probably tour it later. I will be training there in the spring after all. We walk past his house and there isn't much on this side of the city except small alleys and more houses.

Finally, we come around a large bend and the great market is in front of us. While the place was large and busy with people, I was expecting it to be bigger. Five rows with stalls on each side were arranged in a square with a break in the middle that led to the palace. As we walked around the first row of stalls, I saw that most of the stalls were shared between two people. The first row was for jewelry and we stopped to say hello to Rhuidhen who was selling some pieces. I didn't look at much as I needed to pick up my jewelry from Celebrimbor. The second row held all of the clothing stalls. I looked at a lot of the different styles of dresses and shoes but I didn't buy anything. The next row was for the wood craftsmen and furniture. We all looked greedily at the pieces for the house and Tuor ended up buying quite a bit. I only picked out a small side table and bookshelf for my room. My room already had a bed and dresser which I was more than happy to keep. The next row was for armor and weapons. None of us really needed anything from this row but I looked at a few swords and knives for my upcoming training. The last row was for any other vendor and we spent the most time in this row looking at everything. There were decorative pieces, toys, games, books, supplies, and more. Idril bought a few things for herself but I didn't find anything I would need quite yet.

We left the market on the other side and Idril pointed out two large towers and houses. "Penlod houses are both towers. He typically resides in the first one and his chief of the builders resides in the other." The towers were taller than the wall but not as tall as the tower of the king. At the bottom of each tower was a large house with no courtyard. Instead, the gate outside the city lay between each. There were a few other houses next to the towers but nothing else.

We walked along another large bend and came upon a beautiful green courtyard and I could see the roses on the other. There were many tall trees in the open courtyard and the houses all lined up around the gardens. "This is the house of the swallow. They are the archers of the city and they need quick access to the northern gate. They are the hunters and archers for the city. They often help the house of the tree with the animals and hunt meat for the city."

We are back to an area that I know and I tune out Idril as she talks to Tuor. We parted ways at the workshop as I promised I would explore the folkwell with Celebrimbor. The other three will meet me there after I grab Cele and my jewelry pieces.